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Jul 29, 2011

Dear Everyone

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Hello Everyone! I like this Breast Cancer Awareness picture.

You may know me personally, be a relative or a friend.  If you know me, that’s awesome!  If not, My parents are Walt and Dolores Crider.  I went to Dover School District K-12 years and married Gary Bonawitz.  Gary and I have 2 sons, Jarrid who is 19 and Zeth, almost 18.  Gary and I have been divorced since 1998, but we are still friends.

Along came Sharon Schwimer into my life.  We became a domestic couple for about two and a half years, then remained friends after the break up.  Sharon (or as I call her Shar) and I had some roughs times, but she is a true friend.

In 2004, by a strange twist of fate, I met John Delauter at Blockbuster video in Dallastown.  We quickly became a couple, he divorced his wife Diane Delauter, now Gieda and I moved in.  A month later, I sold my house.  Three months later, I quit my job with the State and we immediately began to legalize his handyman business into an established moving service.  We were married the day after his divorce was posted in the newspaper.  We had many family members on both sides and I really thought life was going to rock.

It didn’t.  In fact, it’s just been rocky since the day we met.  I am happy to have met John’s friends and family.   Everyone in my life that I am still in touch with is wonderful.  The exception would be John’s brother Mike.  He’s a real ass clown.  (One of his favorite sayings)

My blog is open to anyone who wants to read it.  Comments welcome, even if you don’t want to say who you are.  Please read my other stories….I know the one about my life is the most entertaining, but I am a student.  I need constructive criticism on my writings from other categories than divorce.  Hahahahaha!

More weird, funny and shocking blogs to come!  Thanks for reading!

OXOX,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, Family, Friends, Jarrid, John · Tagged: ,
Jul 21, 2011

Yearbook to Facebook finds 1989: Charles, Marwine & Murray

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This edition didn't exsist in 1989

Plan Time: 2:47 PM

Get the yearbooks from highschool and see who all I can find that signed my yearbooks.  Contact or friend anyone I find.  See who responds.  Sounds fun, much better than math.

3:21 PM

Wow….I was a social butterfly.

Starting with the first name I know and recognize, even without her last name signed is http://www.facebook.com/beth.c.kachel  or Beth Charles.  She writes:

Pat,

To a good friend a got to know way back in 6th grade.  Good luck in all you do, you’ll go far.  But don’t remember all the boring times in science.

Love,

Beth

Beth….you have such beautiful handwriting.  You also played the piano and lived on a farm.  I don’t remember much about science class but I do remember running to the stream to catch tadpoles behind your house.  I even remember catching them for a “scavengers list” game at your birthday party…..nice memories.  Your parents were so kind made me feel welcome when I visited.

Love,

Pattie

http://www.facebook.com/traci.a.tilson  Traci Murray wrote:

Pat,

To a really good friend I met in band.  Never forget all the good times with the band and in Ag.  You better remember Todd Marwine and all his crazy doings.  Good luck with that special someone (even if it is Mike!)  Catch ya next year.

Love ya (DNQ)

“Spunky” aka Traci

Dear Traci,

Yes, that Todd Marwine http://www.facebook.com/Todd.marwine was a crazy one.  What I remember most is hanging out at your house.  Especially after homecoming and watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre followed by a dip in the pool.  I’m glad that we still talk often.  You were a great person in highschool and you still are!  Will you ever get another rat and name it Critter after me?

Here’s a little note you wrote about Todd in my yearbook.  Did he really have to look up at me during the FFA picture?

Todd...take a picture already!

TTYL,

Pattie

This was fun.  I will keep picking people out of my yearbook and writing to them!

I miss high school,

~P.

4:23 PM

Filed Under: Friends, high school days · Tagged: , , , , ,
Jul 19, 2011

When life is good

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How often do you give a quick reply of “good” when asked how your life is?  “Good” is probably the most often response used.  When we respond is it automatic?  It’s certainly the easiest answer.  People really don’t want to hear about your problems do they?

My friend from highschool, Kym Guss Buchanan wrote in her status update:

Oh Happy Day! Tests came
back…still cancer free! So ready for my fabulous future! Bring it on…so
ready to rumble! Working on making some career goals a reality! Planning more
into the future now. Sharing special times with my hubby and daughter…spending
time with my terrific friends and family…
so much to enjoy!!!! I feel
fabulous and Life is SO good!!!!

That was SO good to read because I get how short life can be.  The wonderful news that Kym is cancer free renews my faith in God and reminds me that good things do happen.

While I struggle daily with not a physical illness, but a mental illness, I love and appreciate all the support I get from my family and friends.  It’s good to know, especially in dealing with depression for the past 3 years, that I have my peeps out there backing me.  Everyday I feel stronger and excited for the future.  I couldn’t do that without my family and friends and that is exactly what I was missing out on in life during my 5 year marriage.

Still unpacking the damn boxes,

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Friends, high school days, John · Tagged: , ,
Jul 5, 2011

Redneck 4th of July

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River Rednecks are the Bestest!

I had a great weekend with friends and family.  It was Tesla’s weekend with her dad and I missed her.  If it had been my weekend with Tesla I wouldn’t have made it to the Redneck River party every 4th of July down at the river.  I’ve been so busy with school I haven’t taken a trip down by the Accomac Mill.  It’s that part of the river that the REAL rednecks party.

There’s these two brothers, twins actually, and oddly enough, both are butchers.  Mike and Pat and they know how to throw a party.  Roasted pig on site, lots of food, beer, boats, a band and people.  It’s amazing just how small the world is once people begin to gather by the waterfront.  There’s never a dull moment either.  For instance, Pat’s daughter was so enthusiastic about jumping on the back of a four-wheeler, she seriously injured her leg.  Just keep the alcohol flowing and she’ll be fine till morning!  And she was…until he drinks wore off that is, then she was ready to go to the hospital.  But that’s getting ahead of the story.

We swam in the river and no one was swept away by the current.  Always a great thing!  The water was warm and inviting and a group of 5 or 6 of us splashed around.  Never hurts to have friends splashing you, as for the rock skipping and eventual rock tossing…I could have passed.  Drunks and large rocks shouldn’t mix.  Cute guys and beer mix, and make them so easy to make fun of.

The bonfire warmed us right back up after the refreshing dip and the band started to play.  For a hundred bucks, those couple of guys rocked the party.  They played a little bit of everything and we all sang and danced along.  The band packed up right before the down pour, including lightning and thunder.  I believe there was 5 of us huddled under and completely unsafe metal tent.  What really are the chances of getting struck by lightning down by the river?  One guy was crashed out on a rubber mat with a blanket and happy as a clam.  I must say it was visually spectacular.

Around 5 am, the guys helped Jada get into her uncle Mike’s house.  Less than an hour later she called her mom in major pain.  Ironically, she’s in medical school in Philadelphia and diagnosed her injury on the spot as a sprained or even torn ligaments.   I stayed up a little longer talking to a good-looking guy.  We watched the sun come up but it  wasn’t terribly exciting.  Cloudy, drizzling and damp doesn’t bring out much emotion other than the dread of walking to the house for a dry place to sleep.  It seemed so much easier just to stay under the tent, chatting with the hot dude.  🙂

I missed every boat ride that went out, but even from the bank,  the Marietta fireworks were beautiful and reflected on the river.  Hanging out with old friends and making new ones was a great time.  People are a different breed down by the river, but not one of us would change them!

Sunday, I basically recovered from the lack of sleep and watched Gladiator.  I even broke out a little Spanish homework.  I needed a day of rest.

Today, I went on a bike ride with my friend Tani.  I met her in Abbotstown then we rode the Appalachian Harley Davidson.  They were closed, which I guess shouldn’t have surprised us.  There were many Harleys in the parking lot so we chatted with some other bikers.  From there we went to Olive Garden and stuffed ourselves like we may never get another meal.  Even Olive Garden’s salad rocks.

After the bike ride, I picked up Tesla and we came home.  Several friends and neighbors came over and we cooked out, swam and set off fireworks.  My dog Ying may never recover.  He didn’t like the small fireworks the night before and ran off, not returning until 1:30 am.  He managed to open the screen door and finally crashed for the night.  Hard to say how many ugly puppies he created in that timeframe.

My sister Suz and Blaine came over also.  Matthew, the neighbors kids and Tesla were wow by the fireworks.  Great night with family and friends and I look forward to more summer gathering.  It’s wonderful to have family and friends that want to visit!

Happy 4th of July my friends and family!  I hope yours was as great as mine turned out.

~P.

 

Filed Under: Family, Friends, Pets, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Jun 1, 2011

Lemons to Lemonade

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Driving by for some lemonade

Matthew’s lemonade stand was a tremendous success.  Over two hot days, for 7 and a half hours each, sitting in the baking sun, he raised $305.47!  Approximately 150 people stopped by for a cup of lemonade or to make a donation.  All the proceeds were donated yesterday to the Gold Star Mother’s Memorial based in York, PA.

Excellent work Matthew!  I commend his dedication to this fundraising over those two days as I don’t believe there are that many 11 year olds who would graciously dedicate their holiday weekend to a non-profit organization.

Thank you to those who stopped by and he looks forward to seeing you again next year!

~P.

Filed Under: Friends · Tagged: ,
May 30, 2011

Memorial Day Lemonade

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Raising money for a good cause

A young boy has a lemonade stand set up with his father to raise money for Gold Star Mothers.  This non-profit organization assists mothers who have lost their son or daughter during war.  Matthew’s story is a little bit different as he lost his mother who was in the Army when he was just 11 months old.  This is the second year he and his father are selling lemonade for 25 cents a cup.  They started yesterday and have already raised $140 surpassing their previous years take of $47.

The stand is located on Log Cabin Road in Shiloh just off route 74 across from Valiant Tattoo shop.  Coming from Dover it is just past the golf course and from York, just past Church Road.  If you are in the area and want to support a great cause, stop at his stand and have a nice cold cup of lemonade.  All funds raised are donated to Gold Star Mothers!

Happy Memorial Day and God Bless those who served in the military to keep us free!

~P.

Filed Under: Friends · Tagged: , , ,
May 9, 2011

Magical Mothers Day

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Blaine and Tess

 

I may have had the best Mother’s Day ever. Zeth spent the weekend and went to church with his Aunt Suz, Blaine, Pap and Gramma in the morning. When they came home, Zeth said he was making me breakfast. I requested eggs and toast from the invisible menu and a wee bit later, I had three well cooked “dippy” eggs and cold toast with way to much margarine.  I happily ate it anyway, honored he wanted to cook for me.  Jarrid met up with us in York and we hit the Mother’s Day street fair.  Blaine and Tess chowed down on the Famous Bricker’s french fries then had a blast in the bounce houses.  All that walking from one bounce house to another left their stocking feet black, but oh well, that’s what bleach is for.

We walked around long enough to get a slight sunburn, about three hours.  Stopped for some ice cream and headed back home.  At home all of us bowled with kid’s plastic bowling pins and….a golf ball.  I discovered just how well golf balls bounce on cement today.  When I tossed it to Tess and she missed, it hit her on the top lip.  A few tears were shed, but she’s tough like her mom and forgot  about it quickly.

Our neighbor texted and invited us over for a cook out.  In the country the word neighbor is used loosely.  We don’t really have a “next door” neighbor out here, so if you’re within 5 miles, you are a neighbor.  We piled into two cars and drove about 5 minutes to a farm.  There we enjoyed hotdogs, hamburgs, salad and risking our lives on four wheelers and a gator.  My son managed to get the gator stuck in the mud while Suz was videotaping the ride.  I will have to post it because it is hilarious.  Think Dumb and Dumber with four-wheel drive….

New peeps arrived on the farm today

More people showed up, including the infamous Jerry that was a hot topic of discussion earlier.  Jerry took 3rd at Susquehanna Speedway Saturday night, but forgot to have his car weighed and checked after the race.  He was officially disqualified, losing his placing, the $150 prize, and the 5 points earned towards qualifying.  I didn’t know who he was at the time but I laughed along with everyone else for his stupid mistake.  When Jerry showed up for the cookout and I discovered this dodo is my second cousin.  Small world gets smaller everyday. 

Around eight we drove 5 minutes back home.  My day wasn’t quite over yet as Zeth needed to go back to his dads for school in the morning.  Now…. I’m sitting down relaxing; reflecting how wonderful my Mother’s Day was.  I am blessed to have 3 healthy, happy children who love and enjoy spending their time with me.  Life is wonderful and I live each day embracing it. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there.  I hope your day was as wonderful as mine!

~P.

Filed Under: Family, Friends, Jarrid, Tesla, Zeth · Tagged: , , ,
Mar 4, 2011

Birthdays, boobs and blogs

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Cake and boobs...oh yeah

 

October 9th 1970 was my birth day.  Big deal, everyone has a birthday.  In 2004 my dear friends, Shar, Tera and Angel had a little party for me at Altland’s Ranch.  The Ranch is a gay/lesbian/bi bar out in the sticks.  John met my friends that night for the first time.  He remembers Shar telling him “he better not hurt me.”  Nice thought there Shar….

I had fun that night dancing with my friends.  Having a few drinks, laughing and eating.  The birthday cake had a shark on it.  It was so cool!  Tera didn’t make it out dancing but she sent the cake with Shar.  Shar almost set the bar on fire when all the candles were lite. 

Dancing and drinking, getting naughty on the dance floor with Angel.  John had an eyeful of us girls getting our dance on.  Now this is a party: girls, cake, naughty dancing, feeding cake to each other….A night I will never forget, and neither did John.

(4 YEARS PASS)

October 9, 2008  I haven’t been out with my friends from 4 years ago, since that night.  My 34th birthday was the last night of freedom I had.  I no longer talked to Shar, Angel, Tera because I wasn’t permitted to.  My birthday in 2008 gave me two special surprise gifts.  My darling puppy, Ying was born and my not so darling husband forgot it was my birthday.

John forgot my birthday and tried to make up for it by picking up a generic cake at Giant on the way home from his appointments.  I wasn’t surprised he forgot, his mind seemed elsewhere all day long.  We ate the generic cake while he apologized for letting my birthday slip his mind.  He was just so busy with work, estimates, appointments.

It wasn’t until December 2008 I found out why he was SO busy he forgot my birthday two months earlier.  He had an appointment at his lawyer’s office, to file for divorce.  Wow, I was SO pissed when he threw the divorce papers at me.  My eyes bugged out when I saw the date he signed the papers.  I guess he was taking his sweet time, since my birthday, to tell me he even filed. 

Yes, 2008 had its ups and downs.  The Giant cake was not fresh at 10pm on October 9, 2008 and that sucks.  On the good side, my hairless, Chinese Crested, Ying, was born sometime that day in Texas.  He is a wonderful guard dog.  The best gift I got that day, a complete surprise….a chance for freedom to celebrate my birthdays with whomever I want!!

Filed Under: Divorce, Friends, John, Pets · Tagged: ,
Mar 2, 2011

I used to camp…then the Sheraton became toughing it.

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Nothing like camping, the fresh out doors, monster mosquitos and no where to shower. My ex-girlfriend and I used to take the boys camping in Blaine, PA. It was so beautiful there and not over crowded. We had tents and sleeping bags. Took most of our food along with us and had a feast for every meal.  My favorite snack was toasted marshmallows.  Not burnt, just toasted. 
Camping in Blaine, PA actually started with my first husband Gary. We would go with a big group of people, mostly couples. Deb and Kevin, Sue and Kevin and others I’m sure. That was a LONG time ago. Gary and I separated in 1996. Gary is a good guy. Not to be confused with my current husband.
Camping came to an end when I met John. Shar and I were long over until I meeting him but I still was friends with her. He actually ended that friendship for many years once I was under his thumb.  I still had many nice pieces of camping gear,  that I wound up selling for pennies on the dollar. Now I wish I kept my fishing rods, tents, sleeping bags, portable shower, cot, fishing vest, tackle box, bait can, etc.
Roughing it with John meant we had to stay at a Sheraton or even worse a Hotel 6/Super 8. These were below John. He wanted 4 stars or better and that didn’t mean 4 stars sewn on your tent by a boy scout.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Friends, John · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Mar 1, 2011

Bisexual in middle school

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I’ve know for a long time now.  I’m bisexual.  No one gets worked up anymore when I talk about women just like I talk about men.  My family and friends all know.  It’s been forever since acting on my bisexuality, but that’s neither here nor there.

Around 8th grade I made the shocking discovery.  I was walking down the hall and JR was infront of me.  I was checking out her ass without even realizing it and thinking “Damn, her ass looks great in those Jordache jeans.”  We’re talking about the 80’s now.  I adored her from a distance I guess you could say.  Always had a “thing” for JR even though I NEVER would have told anyone.

She was so pretty and just an all around nice person.  Even with being beautiful she was never the “stuck up bitch” that high school girls can be.  We would say hi in the halls and if I dared I would sit at a lunch table, just near her.  She had no idea I was fascinated with her and I have no idea why I was.  It didn’t matter of course.  At that age, hormones are out of control.  Mine were obviously confusing but I think I figured it all out since my schools days.

JR was my first girl crush but not my last.  I had a relationship with a woman for 2 and a half years.  Other than having children with my husbands, my most meaningful relationship was with a woman.  I’m not ashamed of that fact, nor do I ever hide it.  I am a diverse person and hope to be accepted in my diversity.  If not, tough shit.  I really don’t care what you think.  HAHAHA!

(Wonder if this person, JR, will ever read this blog…)

~P.

Filed Under: classmates, Friends, high school days · Tagged: , , ,
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