Dear John~She Called You Out

Letters he never learns from

Letters he never learns from

Dear John,

I knew your text that Tesla wanted to stay there over the weekend was bullshit.  When I asked Tesla what she did that was exciting over the weekend, she said “Nothing really.  We went swimming.  I got bit by a mule yesterday.”  As I opened the door to Rutter’s, taking Tesla in for lunch after the briefest of meeting with you, I was preparing myself to hear the truth, straight from a seven-year-old.

“I thought maybe you did something special since you didn’t want to come to my house this weekend.” I said.

“I didn’t say that.  I’d never say that, Mom.”

“I tried to call you but your dad didn’t answer.”

“He said I didn’t want to come?  Cause that’s not true.”

“He sent me a text.”

“Let me see it.” she said while we were eating sandwiches, so I handed it to her.  She opened my messages and went right to your name listed as “John the Man” which she finds funny, by the way.  I scrolled down for her, because there were many texts from me to you.  And, I showed it to her, and she was pissed.

You remember when she had me send you photos of her being silly in Rutter’s?  Well she wasn’t being silly in the last photo.  She was pissed because she just realized you lied and put words into her mouth that she never said.  She was mad enough to tell me to text you that she never said that.

Nothing like being called out by your kid.  Ouch.

Now, why is Tesla on some farm, getting bitten by a mule on her ankle and there was no adult in sight?


Suddenly, not so happy.

Suddenly, not so happy.  She looks more like you when she’s angry. 


I was grilled and chewed up like a cheap hamburg

I was grilled tonight by John.  He is claiming I called and told Google that the business had closed.

About two years ago he claimed I purposely withheld mail to the company from Yellowbook.  He even took me to court (well tried to) over that.  It never made it before a judge because, surprise, I had nothing to do with it. Click here to read that fiasco.

Now John knows I’m refiling for a divorce hearing before the Divorce Master.  Can you imagine that being your career title?  It even sounds brutal so I’m not looking forward to having one decide my divorce.  But, I rather a Master decide than John.

So I have no idea who, if anyone, called Google.

If only I had my pen with me, you could hear his relentless badgering about Google, and if he finds out I had anything to do with the company “being closed” he will be contacting his lawyer to sue me.  Again with the suing.

I reminded him of the Yellowbook fiasco and I resumed playing with Tesla in the yard.  I had stopped just to say hello to Tesla.

Tesla said, “I want Ying to play with Biscuit and Scout.”  Heather’s dogs have collars that are supposed to contain them in the yard.  Those collars must not work.  At first the dogs just ran around the house.

Heather looked directly at Tesla and snapped, “Get that damn leash on your dog!”  Then she looked at me and I said, “Really?  Damn?”  She responded, “You’re not even allowed to be here.” A jab at the court order barring me from my own property.  “Wow, you have balls.” and she responded, “Bigger balls than yours.”

I’m not even sure what she means by that but, if she is implying she has big balls to move herself and four kids in while John is in the middle of a divorce, well, I guess she does have bigger balls.  I didn’t expect to get in an “I’m pretty than you!” fight and just kept walking with Tesla.

But Ying ran astray to the neighbors fenced in yard.  Biscuit followed.    While Tesla walked to the neighbors to collect our dogs, she asked if I would ask her dad if she could spend some time with me.  I noticed earlier Heather’s crew was loading up to leave.  I had even moved my car to be out of the way.  I told her I would ask but I never got the chance.

“Get in the car Tesla, we’re leaving.”  I looked at Tesla while we were still a distance away and said, “I think you are leaving.”  She said, “No, I’m staying here with my dad.”

How quickly things change.

Everyone was now switching to the truck instead of the van.  Her dad was suddenly leaving and Heather was firm they were all going.  She also informed me it was none of my business who was going where, showing that fake courage she stores up for an occasional outburst.    Wow…amusing.

I just wanted half an hour with my kid.  Instead I was served up and chewed out.





Dear Heather~Hey what’s up girlfriend?


Dear Heather,

See, I can even call you girlfriend and it has multiple meanings!

Let me tell you….I am just set on getting this divorce and custody taken back to the York Courthouse.  Tesla is on me every time we are alone about wanting to live with her momma.  She says she wants to live with me 14 days and John 2.  I’m not sure why she calls her dad John.  Weird huh?

It is gut wrenching to have Tesla ask me to please move home with her Daddy.  I didn’t expect John to tell her I told him she said this.  At least he didn’t “freak out” on her as she said he does do.  Tesla tells me about the trips you all take and I’m always happy for her.  I’m glad she likes you.  I’m not glad that she is so damn confused on who is married to who and the whole brother (whose name she can’t remember half the time) and sisters.  Your kids see their dad much more than I see Tesla.  Don’t you find that strange?  Or do you join in on “keeping my visits with Tesla in check?”

I take one day at a time.  Karma is driving a big rig.  He and you can’t dodge divorcing me and your husband.  Maybe your husband would like to marry his longtime girlfriend.  You and John don’t mind holding  everyone else’s lives hostage through your greediness.  You both will have to take whatever a divorce master decrees.  No matter what, I’m looking forward to my day in court and the truth will set me and Tesla free.

Courthouse parking sucks,


Dear John~Selfish as always

Letters he nevers learns from

Letters he never learns from

Dear John,

Why do you have to be so damn selfish?  Our child is not property.  You have had Tesla for the past 3 weekends and yes, you allowed me to spend more than the 24 hours the custody order grants over Christmas.  I suppose you are looking for accolades.  Sorry, not going to get them from me.

Even after you know how sick I was in the hospital and how little time Tesla and I had together, you still want to throw in my face that you are following the custody order to the T.  You love being the enforcer but what are you really enforcing?  Some bullshit custody order that greatly restricts Tesla’s visitation with me without your approval.  You eat that shit up.

Here is what your downfall will be:

1.  Your need to be in control of everything.

2.  Your need to make yourself the most important person in the room.

3.  Your desire to withhold your only child from her mother for no sound reason.

4.  Your lack of moving forward with our divorce.

5.  Your endless disregard for Tesla’s wishes.

It will all come back to bite you in the ass, as it should.  After almost dying once again at a hospital, I would think you would realize just how short life can be.

All I asked is if I could see Tesla a few hours and you said no.  You don’t care how much I miss her, especially after a near death experience.  You don’t care how much Tesla misses me.

While I can’t read your mind I can take a guess at what you thought.

“Damn, if only the bitch had died my life would be so much easier.”

The world didn’t end and I’m not dead.

Chalk two up for me.


P.S.  Has lightning ever struck Chapel Church or don’t you attend with Heather, Tesla and crew?

P.S.S.  The bigger you are, the harder you fall.  Try not to create a crater.

P.S.S.S.  I checked the mortgage today.  It’s about $8k in the arrears.  Will Heather be taking out another student loan to catch things up?


Dear John~Stop contacting my family

Letters he nevers learns from

Dear John,

This is the last straw.  They had to medicate my mother in rehab after your surprise visit.  Or should I call it an attack?  Do not call my parents to take Tesla to them.  They have a daughter (AS IN ME) who will gladly take their granddaughter (TESLA) to see them.

My dad is a drama king, just like you.  It is my mother who suffers.  She doesn’t give a shit if you’re mad at her or not.  What she does give a shit about is you staying out of her physical therapy room, interrupting like you have something important to say.  If my mom talks to Tesla, butt out and let them talk.  You listening in is causing all types of problems.

As far as your refusing to let Tesla and I spend time together over the Thanksgiving break from our schools, you don’t surprise me.  If you feel like it’s a win for you to separate us over extended amounts of time….well that wouldn’t surprise me either.

Stop contacting everyone in my family, including Dale.

Not dearly yours,


When communication breaks down into ?

Communication is basically any form of sharing ideas.  Until there is something that stops it.  Such as wife to husband:

Me: November 8th: Leaving Chuck E now.  Sorry.  (Tess and I were leaving Chuck E Cheese, sorry we were running late.)  7:06 PM

From that day I texted him 6 times about seeing or talking to Tesla.  On November 16 at 3:25 PM I asked if Dale could pick Tesla up after he is done in his office.  They would then meet me at York College for Spartapalooza.  John responded with: We will see Dale at 5.

Dale had already left the office and showed up (not to John’s surprise.  He knew Dale was on the way) only to have John give him a hard time about getting Tesla.  He also told Dale Tesla has bad poison ivy from helping him in the woods.  She has poison ivy all over.  Poor kid.

John also tells Dale he found an antidepressant pill in the couch and wanted to know what pills I was taking to see if it matched.  Dale ACTUALLY went and looked at my scripts.  (DUH…see how John gets people to do what he wants.  He gets more from them than I would ever give.)

I texted John he is an ignorant ass.  Not so much over the stupid pill he “found” but because Tesla had a doctor appointment and he didn’t tell me.  Probably because he knew Tesla would want to leave with me.  John instead waited, only to give Dale an information overload.  Don’t talk to Dale about Tesla or me, talk to me!

Some random texts to John.

What is Thanksgiving day like for you?  We are trying to see what we can do with the day and hospital visits.


John can you plz get back to me?

Hello….dear you.

I would like to talk to you about Thanksgiving as soon as possible.

Can I get tt a lil more since we are off school for Thanksgiving.

What time you having dinner on tg?


Hello  (Today Tesla called after this text.  She asked almost immediately if she can come stay.  I knew she would which is why I have been texting and calling John and not getting answers.)

Our conversation ended with Tesla telling me she would talk to her dad.  Good luck kiddo.

My last text to John was “?”

Sad when communication breaks down that badly and the six-year-old must try to save face.



Dear John~mocking your child

Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

It’s been stressful for Tesla and I dealing with your drama.  Your self-centered desire to have the world rotate around you.  While I detest having to beg you to let me spend time with Tesla, I do it.  If I don’t ask and ask and ask, I would only see Tesla every other weekend.  Even my sons are appalled that you intentionally keep Tesla from seeing her mother….their mother.

Tonight Tesla said how nice it was that you took her to your softball game so she could see me.  I agreed with her because what else could my response have been?  You don’t want her and my visit to be considered you allowing us to see each other…but there is no other way to explain it.  The judge encouraged you to allow time for Tesla and I beyond the court order, you just want to forget that part.

I didn’t bring up how pissed off I am that you are still insisting on suing me for child support.  That I should be held responsible to support Tesla in the household.  Oh, and that Heather pays rent, or utilities or whatever.  I was just happy to be with Tesla.

Speaking of Heather, I’m sorry to hear of the loss in her family.  Before you showed your true colors to Tesla tonight, I had offered to help out if you needed me too.  Of course you have everything under control.  I didn’t ask why LaDonna was getting Tesla ready for school on Wednesday, but that makes sense now.  She is handy to fill in as the third mommy.  What’s her hourly rate as substitute mom?

Wrapping this up, I just want to point out for a second time what a douchebag move that was mocking Tesla (and me) when we said our goodbyes.  Tesla said “eight days” referring to how long she must wait to be with me and I repeated it back to her. We didn’t need your mocking in that high-pitch voice, “eight days! eight days!”  It just points out how pathetic and bitter you are that this little girl misses her mom.  When I told you not to mock her for missing me, you said you weren’t but news flash….YOU WERE.  I knew it and so did Tesla.  She crossed her arms and didn’t want you to touch her as you walked her to your truck.  I don’t blame her.

Shame on you ,John.  Shame on you.


Dear John~It is NOT about you

Dear John,

I realize you probably like when I cry.  Makes you feel good.  I realize as much as you tell me you don’t read my blog, you most likely do.  You tell me you just have to hear about it from 5 to 10 people.  In reality that narrows it down to 1.  You are known for your exaggerations.  (Sorry to hear you’re not getting laid-you’ll remedy that)

You keep bringing up the past, while I push for the present.  You claim I hurt you in the past, that I didn’t want to spend time with our daughter, that I was a drug addict, that I spent money wildly.  Seriously, even if it were 100% true, what does any of that have to do with now?  Our past is OVER and I have moved on.  I realize you have not and you are waiting for me to say I was the one who caused our break-up.  That will never happen.

Tonight you asked if I thought you were stupid.  Well, I do think you are stupid but not due to the reason you asked.  You seem to believe if you let Tesla spend time with me, I will file for custody.  I can file whether you let her spend time with me outside the custody order or not.  It’s not about what you want, it’s about what she wants.  I know you listen to our conversations and hear her counting off how many days until she is with me.  I’m not putting that into her head, she puts it into mine.  I don’t ask her if she wants to live with me, she tells me every chance she gets.  It’s not that she doesn’t love her father, she just wants to live with her mother.

You bring up how you were married for 18 years.  Please -spare me, it’s already come out in court that you easily broke your marriage of 18 years to have a chance to be a father.  I seriously believed you loved me and I was special.

Call me naivete or just plain stupid.  I accept either.


Why do I blog about my life?  To get me through it.  I have a super supportive man in my life, unlike the past.

Dear John~And the truth is revealed

Dear John,

We were all wondering (Dale, Zeth, Suz and I) what the heck you were doing at the playground with Tesla so early in the morning.

Well now we all know….YOU were playing softball while our daughter was at the playground by herself.  Even worse, Tesla says there weren’t any other little kids there but there was two big boys.

Why the hell are you letting Tesla at the playground alone while you play softball?  I know how fucking important softball is to you.  Hell, you were ready to blow me off the same day I miscarried with our second child because you had a softball game.  I had to guilt you into staying home with Tesla and I after I lost our baby.  (which you blamed on me)

Obviously you couldn’t watch Tesla while you played ball.  She said she screamed really loud because her arm hurt so bad.  I told her I was sorry she got hurt and she shouldn’t have been there alone.  Her response was, “Daddy said I could.”

Maybe I should be glad she only suffered a broken arm (which needs surgical pins implanted tomorrow.)  It could have been even worse, say someone kidnapping her.  Bob Hoffman stadium isn’t exactly the safest neighborhood for a little girl to be playing alone on a playground.

What the fuck were you thinking?  Oh wait, I know….only about yourself.  To the point you wouldn’t even let Tesla be with me after you were too busy to keep an eye on her to start with.  It’s not like it would have hurt her more to spend the rest of the day with her mom.

Here’s a thought!  You could have called me and told me to meet you at the softball field so you can play your game and Tesla could spend time with me.

God forbid you let me have a little extra time with Tesla.

Once a selfish bastard, always a selfish bastard.

I can’t wait to be divorced from you…..and have custody of our daughter.


Dear John~aka Mr. Know It All

Dear John,

You wonder why I get so pissed off at you.  Did you ever stop to think it’s because you firmly believe you know everything but when it’s convenient, you plead ignorance?  This morning is a great example.

Dale and I stayed up late watching movies (which you probably know since my Facebook is so closely followed by you and your minions) and I forgot to plug my cellphone in.  So this morning when you have Tesla at the playground (and I’m really curious if it was you or Heather since I know Heather takes Tesla to church, not you) and she falls off the monkey bars, you resort to calling Walt to notify me that Tesla is injured.

Really, the only person you know how to get in contact with is my father?  Not that long ago, you had your lawyer pursing Dale as a convicted felon.  You knew his first, middle and last name, birthday, address etc. in an attempt to keep Tesla away from me, yet you don’t have Dale’s phone number?  I know I’ve called you from Dale’s phone.  He’s also in the phone book.  It’s also all over his truck in large letters advertising his computer business.  Amazing how you manage to know everything you possible can about Dale and I except how to contact him if there is an emergency and I can’t be reached.

So you have Dale’s number now that I’ve called you and made a point of you saving it for emergency purposes.  Dale would never have a problem with you calling his cell to relay a message about Tesla.  Unlike that bitch of a girlfriend you continue to entertain.  Heather doesn’t want me to EVER call or text her cell, even when she has Tesla because your off doing whatever it is that makes you happy at the moment.  It’s well-known how you do what you want, when you want.  Hell, you even do who you want with no consequences because you are the king, top dog and big man of your universe.

Now Tesla has a broken left arm.  Not just broken and a cast, but broken so badly she has to have surgery tomorrow.  You knew how much I wanted to see my baby girl this morning at the hospital but would you allow me to come in and see her.  Oh hell no.  She was being discharged and you were leaving immediately even though I was already on the way in.  I said I’d come get her at the house if you weren’t going to wait and you shot that down also.

Our daughter breaks her arm and you won’t even let me see her.  That’s sad John.  Instead, you make her and I wait until the court appointed time of 7PM tonight.  Does that make you feel like you’re in control?  Not allowing mother and daughter to see one another after she suffers a traumatic experience.

The only thing that kept me from completely losing my temper was speaking to Tesla and hearing the pain medication was helping her.  I guess until I pick her up tonight I will remain in the dark concerning what really happened.  Tesla reassured me I can get her at 7 PM, clearly you already pumped that into her head.

I managed to raise two boys who never broke a bone, yet you and your lawyer are constantly doubting my parenting abilities.  Every serious injury Tesla has had happened on your watch.  From four-wheeler accidents to broken arms….maybe it’s time custody is heard by a judge once again.  This time, I’m bringing back-up.  ~P.

%d bloggers like this: