What do cops know?

Suddenly, my blog has become a hot topic concerning “who knows what about whos past” and “let’s have a judging session here on the Internet for the world to enjoy.”


I know John loves Tesla and I will not deny him time with her when I do get custody.  I’m the opposite of him and he knows it.  He just doesn’t want to share her.  I knew he would do this if he was awarded custody.  Possibly even Tesla knew if she lived with her dad there would be “difficulties” in seeing her mom.

The judge didn’t spell out everything because; John is supposed to have the responsibility to make sure Tesla spends time with her mother.

LaDonna forgets the judge said, “If this were based on attitude Mr. Delauter, you would lose because you have a bad attitude.”  She also said, “Ms. Crider, you are a good mother and I believe you have a good man in Mr. Hollinger.  Mr. Delauter, you are a good father.  This is not about who the better parent is, but where it is best for Tesla to reside.”  (note Heather’s name wasn’t even raised)

Will the judge think it is best for Tesla to reside with John after all this?  We shall see.

John had no response to why Heather was calling me at 10 PM to tell me how she is going to ruin my life.  Heather honey, John is doing just fine on his own.

Heck, the Lower Township Police said, “He’s not trying to ruin your life, he already did.”    Hey cop…you don’t know jackshit.

My life is just starting again.


Harrisburg PA Farm Show

Dale, Drew, Tesla and I attended the farm show in Harrisburg.

My first comment is: It is a long walk from the parking area at Harrisburg Community College to the farm complex.

Second comment: It would have taken longer to wait for the free shuttle than walking.  Actually, that was Dale’s first comment.

Third comment:  The farm show is free and great entertainment for all ages.

Fourth comment:  You still need some money for crappy food and silly souvenirs.  🙂

Tesla was in awe of the Clydesdale horses pulling wagons.  We stayed for the saddled riders also.  Tesla would have stayed forever.

Tess and I bought two cool things.  A handmade tutu and a rainbow mohawk hat.  I completely agreed with her choices and she looked adorable in that Punky Brewster way.

She wanted to buy two.


Farm Show hats


Bird Angry, Drew Happy


No betting involved


My girl


HACC eagle


We all liked the eagle we passed on the way back to the truck.  It’s one of Brad Heilman’s amazing eagles.  I recently blogged about a sculpture he did on Druck Valley Rd in York.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/10/18/chainsaw-sculpture/

We had a great day without spending too much money.  I enjoy every moment I get with Tesla.

She called me tonight, already missing me.  She said she wasn’t allowed to sing songs with me before bed.  I heard John in the background say she could sing one song with me.  She asked me after when I would be getting her.  I told her I would try to talk to her dad.  She tried to get him to talk to me but he refused.

Again, I treasure every moment I get.



I miss her smile

I can’t describe the pain I feel with a week passing by and not seeing my daughter.  Making it even more painful is the fact that any day over the past week, I could have seen her.

I miss her silly smile, her songs and storys.  She likes to make up a story and really get me going then say “I’m only kidding!” which is cute right?!  Well, not so much the other night when she told me Bria bit her.  She went on and on about it then suddenly said she was kidding.  Was she kidding?  I really don’t know.

This afternoon on the phone, Tesla told me I could come get her tomorrow and we would make cupcakes at the house.  I said “Really? Your dad said that?” and she replied, “No, Heather did.”  Instantly in the background I could hear Heather saying, “I didn’t say that Tesla.”  That glimmer of hope was quickly extinquished.

Imagine your child, at the age of 5 asking when she can come home again and you have to tell her it will be another week.  I did reassure her that I will see her tomorrow at dance class and that seemed to soothe her.  Without even seeing her in person or talking to her privately, I can tell she knows what’s holding her back from seeing her mother.  Everyone can see it but that person themself.

She told me she missed me.  I told her I missed her.  We sang four songs and I told her to call me before bed.

She never called.


Dear John XI

waste of $

Dear John,

I usually have something to say when I see you, but since I can’t always say it, I write it.

It irked me to see you scratching off lottery tickets when I came back out to the truck to give Tesla the dollar she earned helping around the house.  That was just a mild irk compared to how much Heather irked me later.

I’m sorry you arrived early to get Tesla and had to wait for her while she finished eating dinner.  It’s rare that she eats dinner at home when it’s your day to pick her up.  Friday nights dinner was special for her.  She and I went grocery shopping the day before and she helped pick out the groceries.  Two of her choices were fresh corn and cantaloupe.  While we were still in the store on Thursday, she husked the corn and bagged it.  As you know, her kindergarten orientation was that night so we didn’t have time to make dinner together.

Friday she was very excited to wash the corn and make it for dinner.  She was very hungry and I didn’t even give a thought to telling her we couldn’t cook dinner together.  Tesla ate four chicken nuggets, an ear of corn, a large helping of chicken alfredo and cantaloupe for desert.  Dale, Tesla and I had a very nice dinner even though I had to rush Tess a bit because you were outside waiting….scratching those lottery tickets.

The BIG irk of my evening was the text I received from you at 7:52 PM.

Can you please not feed Tesla on my nights we want to eat as a family.

Hmmm John, that’s what we were doing also.  Like I said, it’s rare I make dinner for her and I (and now Dale) on nights you pick her up.  My response back:

So did we.  Sorry.

Now I thought that would be the end of the text messaging but I was wrong.  Next came this:

Well on your night that would be nice for you all but please be respectful of our time and not make things hard on Tesla that has to sit at a table while everyone else eats…it’s not fair to her.  We will be respect ur time please respect ours.  Heather

Again with the girlfriend texting me?  Why do I have to get texts from your girlfriend about Tesla and respect?  My response:

Omg chill…I’m sorry.

Now this time I was certain I wouldn’t hear back from her and I was really trying hard not to lose my patience with a woman who has the nerve to request I not eat a special meal with my child the last day I have her before school starts.  Heather read my patience as showing an understanding of her need to sit everyone down for dinner.  I suppose you all use the dining room, now that it can be filled up properly.

Thanks for understanding….please feel free to come Monday.  Bus picks up at 7:25.  We will be out taking pictures around 7:10.

Actually Heather, I don’t understand.  There are so many levels of not understanding where the hell you are coming from that it just blows my mind you would even mention that I shouldn’t feed my daughter when she’s hungry and at home with her mother.  My response:

I don’t get the big blow up over dinner…nor her having to sit like it’s punishment….but I do appreciate seeing my child off to school her first day.

It really sucks having to get permission to see my daughter off to school.  You had texted me right after picking up Tesla that I could come Monday and to be there by 8:25.  Was that a text typo John?  Or did you really want me to show up an hour late just to hear you say I missed the bus?

It’s not a punishment but we r a family and act like one….and it’s not a blow up, just a request.

I don’t know John….seems like more that just a request.  Kinda came off as rude and belittling Tesla and I as being and acting like a family.  Just because you have 7 and up until recently, it’s just been Tesla and I doesn’t mean your new family outranks mine.  My response to Heather:

I don’t get why this is coming from you either.

Why do I continue to get texts from Heather from your phone?  You had something to say and you did.  It should have ended there.  Actually, I think it was uncalled for to even text me not to feed Tesla on the nights you pick her up.  Especially since I’ve never made a habit of doing so.  Friday’s dinner was special for Tesla, can I get some respect concerning that?  She ate a good meal and enjoyed preparing it with me.  Get over yourself.  Tell your woman to get over herself.  Stop trying to control my time with my child.

Heather’s final text was “goodnight” and my response was “Amen” and that wrapped up our texting for the night.  I view it all as making a mountain out of a mole hill.  I’m stressed out enough by all your bullshit with this custody and divorce nightmare.  I really don’t want to hear whining about family meals.

I appreciate the invitation to see Tesla off to school and I will be there with my camera.  I’m saving the text message granting me permission just in case you call the police and try to have me arrested.  You tricked me once like that and I don’t want another repeat of Tesla seeing the police come because you want me taken away in handcuffs.  Think about your actions and how they affect your child.

I suppose you didn’t win big on the lottery tickets.  Remember, if you do, half of it goes to your wife.

Keep on scratching,




Child exchange drama

Note: exchange time is at 5PM unless agreement of earlier or later time has been made.

April 4, 2011 4:36 PM

I receive a text from Mr. Delauter “my truck broke down heather is getting tesla she might be there a little early”

I respond “I am not comfortable with that.  Sorry. Call me when u can get here.”

Mr. Delauter calls me immediately screaming at me to send Tesla with Heather.  I tried to tell him to just come when he has a vehicle but he begins swearing at me and threatening to not let Tesla’s brothers or aunt pick her up anymore.  I hang up. 

5:14 PM  Heather arrives and states I need to “stop playing games” and let her have Tesla.  I told her I don’t know her or anything about her and will not make my daughter leave with her.  Heather refuses to leave my parents and says she will wait for John to show up and put Tesla in her van.  She was quick to point out that this was not my property. (Yeah, no shit!  You’re already living in my property!)  I tell my dad who is out there and why.  He could see that Tesla was upset.  He asked me if I knew her and I said her name is Heather and she’s John’s new girlfriend.  Dad rolled his eyes..lol

5:30 PM John arrives on his motorcycle flying up the driveway like a madman.  He begins yelling at me immediately.  Saying I put in Tesla head she shouldn’t go with Heather.  Tesla told her dad she didn’t want to go with Heather but would ride on his cycle. (he rode her around at the house and to the neighbors in the past)  John tells her she has to get in the van.  John tells Heather that I put it in Tesla head not to go with her.  He continues yelling at me, upsetting Tesla even more until she was in tears again.  He says I should have “made Tesla go with Heather because Heather lives in HIS house.”  Sorry, but no where does it say I must let Tesla go with a stranger.

 I told him to quit yelling at me and that I didn’t put anything in Tesla’s head.  Tesla finally gets in the van and John tells me not to send anyone to the house for Tesla because he is not going to let anyone (meaning Tesla’s blood-related family) pick her up for me.  This conversation of course contained him swearing at me, accusing me of putting in Tesla head she doesn’t have to go with Heather.   Tesla saw Heather and was clearly unwilling to leave with her by her own rights.

At no time, did I say anything like that to Tesla.  She has known Heather approximately 5 weeks.  Maybe Tesla just isn’t comfortable either!


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