When life wears you down

Life is no piece of cake.  It is not a picnic, nor a party.

Life is gruelling in many ways.  You must mix with others as you go about your day.  Trying to stick to a schedule.  It’s not easy.

Today I rode my motorcycle all the way across the county to volunteer in my daughter’s kindergarten class.  I noticed her father’s truck in the parking lot as I walked to the school entrance.  The secretary buzzed me in and I went to the office to sign the visitor book.  As soon as I walked in Mrs. Shields said, “What can I help you with?”   That’s when I knew something was awry.

Apparently there was a memo sent out by Ms. Dettinger that there would be no more volunteering in her classroom and to disregard the volunteer schedule she had previously given to parents.  I didn’t get the memo.  Either it wasn’t passed on to me or it was mixed in with all the other papers that I missed it.  I asked if I could walk over to the class and say hi but I was denied.  After telling Tesla I was coming in, I felt like shit that I couldn’t even say hi to the class.

What I was thinking was, why is John here?  Yesterday he was working at 7pm and sent Heather to get Tesla.  Today he’s at the school?

Ms. Sinclair was outside eating lunch and called my name.  She is Ms. Dettinger’s teaching assistant.  I walked over to the picnic table and she said, “Didn’t you get the memo?  I sent two home with Tesla.”  I said I didn’t and nothing had been said to me about it.  Next, Ms. Sinclair asked, “What’s her dad doing here?” and I responded, “I have no idea.”

My guess, volunteering in Heather’s kids class……


someone’s gotta earn the money there

Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

Thank you for making the effort to be human today.  I was very upset with you for not making arrangements for Tesla to leave school with me.  It’s bad enough I am no longer “authorized” to pick up my child.  I just don’t grasp your need to tell the school I can never pick up Tesla without your permission.  It seems just a bit extreme to me.  Do you think I’m going to take off in my 92 Ford Accord with highly visible bumper sticker and windshield sticker announcing  “GIRLBOXER1970” and make a run for the Mexican border with Tesla?  Seriously, get a grip.  When Tesla tells me she doesn’t see me enough I respond with, “I agree.  I don’t see you enough either honey, but right now, there isn’t much Mommy can do right now.  I promise to keep working on it.”

Regardless, it was nice to see you realized the error in your ways and made it right.  I just don’t think I should have to beg/guilt you into letting me see her.  I hope this could become a habit for you, sharing our daughter.  Perhaps then your daughter wouldn’t beg me to keep her when I do get to see her.

Finally, don’t jump my throat about Tesla’s homework.  YOU are responsible to check her homework.  This is the third or fourth time she did not have her name on her paper.  You say she did and you saw her write it, yet magically it was not there today.  I don’t need to hear your snide remarks when all I said was “Tesla’s name wasn’t on her homework.”  I also will pass on hearing how you have to go work on jobs now cause “somebody has to earn some money around here.”  What the hell does that have to do with me?  Tell your girlfriend who’s been trying to get a nursing degree for the past 10 years and can’t seem to graduate, to get a job.  Hopefully very little spelling is involved in being a nurse.

I realize you think you’re perfect.  I’m thrilled when you realize you’re not.

Next time, please take care of the note in advance.  I always give you amble notice when I would like to get Tesla, yet you wait until the last-minute to respond.  I sadly have to call block my cell number just so you will answer.  That is just petty.  I take your calls even though I can’t stand to hear your voice.

Man up and take mine!


PS. Please wash Tesla’s purple jacket.  It is filthy.


This is just a little bit weird to me but…..nothing surprises me.

I just spoke with the principal at Tesla’s school.  Suddenly, there is no restriction to my volunteering.  I may come anyday, whether John volunteers that day or not.  The principal made it sound as though there had been miscommunication between her and Ms. Dettinger.  I don’t think it was a communication problem between the two of them….but Ms. Dettinger seems to have been thrown under the bus.

The principal said, “You both are equally allowed to come to the school.  As adults, there should not be an issue.”

I most certainly agreed with her.  I am relieved and thrilled to feel welcome in Tesla’s classroom again.

One in my favor,


Go see the Principal

What’s the worst thing a teacher can say to a student?  Go to Principal “Doe’s” office.  That statement strikes fear in all students.

I remember in Dover Middle School,  getting caught with chewing gum in my mouth by Mr. Gohn, not once but twice.  He told me to put the gum on the end of my nose.  This was 7th grade I believe and there was no way in hell I was putting gum on the end of my nose and setting myself up for ridicule by my classmates.  OH HELL NO!  So I refused and Mr. Gohn said, “You have two options, put the gum on your nose or go to Principal Keller’s office.”  I stood up and said, “I’ll go to the office.”  Mr. Gohn paused and said “really?” and I replied, “yes.”   He raised his hands up and said, “well, ok then, go.”

I went to the office and was given detention that afternoon.  Ironically, the assistant principal was on detention duty that day and told us to leave as soon as he walked in the door.  Score one for team Pattie.

Now today was different.  I was told to go see the principal because….I now have to follow Canadochly Elementry school’s 6 day cycle and can only volunteer on day 6, after noon.  For the past three weeks, I had been volunteering in Tesla’s class one day a week on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday.  Ms. Dettinger and I would get in touch and decide a day that worked with my college classes.  Keep in mind, there are parents that come in everyday.   While the children were at music class, Ms. Dettinger asked me out to the hall.  She explained I can come in on day 6 and John can come on day 3.

I started to cry in the hall.  What kind of bullshit is this?  I can’t volunteer in my daughter’s class now because John called the office and laid down some strict schedule for when I can come in.  I see no reason for this restriction.  John has not volunteered in Tesla’s room so far this year.  If he can only make time on “Day 3 after noon” that is his scheduled time and I would respect that.  It should not cause me to lose time in Tesla’s classroom just because he isn’t going on any other days.
Adding salt to my wound, I learn Tesla has not done her homework for the past two days.  My head felt like it was going to rupture.  Why the hell isn’t Tesla getting her homework done?  John won’t let me see Tesla after school, pick her up from school or let me do homework with her.   Yet he isn’t doing homework with her!  How is this happening?  He states I can’t get Tesla after school because she has a strict schedule (and he isn’t allowing me to be part of it.)  Apparently homework isn’t making the schedule either.

I’ll be seeing the principal very soon and getting to the bottom of this.

With a tablet and pencil in hand,


Take that Friday!

It’s something everyone dreams of having but rarely ever achieves.

Every new day is a chance to give it another shot.

You start at perfect because you just woke up.

Within seconds you determine your situation.

Alive and …….


  •             kissed by Dale as he left for work.  He’s in just so freaking awesome.  I take my turn in the shower at risk.  Dale takes long showers, the water may be cool to cold.  Errr….

  •             ah….the shower is hot!  I grab a pair of jeans and I like how they fit (Goodwill bargain new size 14 Old Navy jeans $5.99,  a YCP T-shirt (L) $5, matching socks, and Nike sneakers (Goodwill, $4.99) and finally my Harley jacket ($350.00 Laugermans; my former life.)

  •              drove my reliable Honda ($42) safely to campus with no red lights and I wasn’t even trying.  Seriously.

  •             pulling into my favorite area to park a student waved and pointed towards her car.  I smiled, put it in reverse and was ready….cause no one but me was getting this prime parking spot!  I grab my book bag and coffee and make a bee line for the doors.  Out of the corner of my eye (perfect vision $24o0. Lasik) I see Allyson Rump, a friend who is involved with the campus newspaper (The Spartan.  Check it out!) and we gravitate towards each other.  I asked how she was and she said good.  She inquired in return and I gushed how awesome my day had been so far.

  •          woke up on time, coffee is made and delicious, car started, no traffic or light issues and I’m ready for the day.  It’s been great.  Allyson stops and says, “I’m going to make it even better!” 


  •           for the first time I notice she has a baking tin in her hands and I stop also, taking a swig of my perfect coffee.  “I have cookies!” and she pulls back the tinfoil covering the sugary delights!  Allyson rocks!

  •          continuing towards the humanities building, I see my friend Justin smoking outside, but not 25 feet from the building and I resist the urge to bum a smoke.  I refuse to waste any money on cigarettes but don’t want to become a cig bummer.


  •          someone held the entrance door open for me and  I followed a trail of students up a floor.  Again, the door was held open.  Arrived at Geography class, door propped open and took my chosen seat (first seat in the first row, desk and chair not welded together and closest to the door.  I’m the special person in the class.)


  •          Books and pen were in my bag and I placed them on my desk, began eating my cookie and  actually had time to jot down some notes for this blog.  I had no specific reason why I wanted to take notes, but I am glad I did.

  •         class wasn’t bad and my professor’s lectures are at least interesting.  She has travelled extensively and I’m wildly jealous.  Fifty minutes later I was out the door first and on my way to Tesla’s school.

  •          I arrived early and had lunch with Tesla and her classmates.  The pizza was pretty damn good but I passed on the carrots.  So did Tesla.  I finished the little bit of pizza Tesla didn’t want to eat.  We went outside for recess and I was surrounded by fifty little kidlings.  We played tag and ran around the playground trying not to crash into each other.  All the kids wanted to be “it” at some point, the bad part was they all wanted to tag me!  Tesla and Bria each held my hand walking back into the school.   

  •      we worked on journaling in Ms. Dettinger’s class.  I don’t just help Tesla of course, but all the kids.  They are so adorable!  You need the patience of a saint to be a teacher though.  Volunteering works perfect for me.

  •       back on the road, listening to my fuzzy sounding radio but thinking at least I have one.  Immediately the radio shuts off and I was WTF?  Thirty seconds pass and it comes back on.  I sighed and rolled my eyes upward, “Yes God, I am thankful for even little things.”

  •        ran into someone I knew and talked a bit about both our divorces.  According to this person, the word is John isn’t to happy with his latest girlfriend.  I had to giggle as it’s not the first time I heard that.  John will never be happy with any female in his life. 

  •       on a whim I stop at a kids clothing consignment shop and find three gymnastics outfits for Tesla.  One is brand new from Danskin!  ($14 total for all three)

  •        called Tesla and told her about the outfits.  She was very excited and wanted to know when I would come pick her up.  I told her I would talk to her dad about spending some time together.  She wanted me to talk to him immediately, but I’ve found email and texting to work much better.  Tesla and I chatted a little more and then she had to go.  It was just awesome seeing Tesla at school and not having to deal with her father, his gf or any of their drama!


  •        talked to Dale and we decided to meet at Chili’s for dinner.  We had won a gift card awhile back and not used it yet.  I took a seat at the bar and waited for Dale to arrive.  The classic margarita was soothing and the surrounding smells made my mouth water.  We moved to a booth and had chicken alfredo and steak for dinner.  I fell in love with Chili’s guacamole sauce.   Yummy!  🙂


  •        went home, walked Ying, talked to my mom and later to my sister.  Suz is all moved into her new place and lives right up the road from us.  Awesome!  Tesla and Blaine will see each other so much more!

  •       watched some TV with Dale.  This show about a store called Obscura is really bizarre.  I liked it! 


  •     climbed into bed, next to my awesome man and realized “in my world, I had just had a perfect day.”

I’ll take that Friday and many more, just like it!


Life is good, enjoy,





%d bloggers like this: