Upcoming Custody Hearing & Stuff

Well, I’m back to taking medication for stomach irritation. I started again after another worthless doctor’s appointment. I’m tired of wasting my leave time at work to just be shifted back and forth to the same few doctors. What really makes me mad is after seeing Dr. Po and learning he didn’t feel I needed surgery and the vomiting and nausea we’re not coming from his specially area, the rear, he says he didn’t have anymore tests and told me to see the gastrologist again, it had to be my stomach. Keep in mind I had just seen Dr. Po (his name and the humor of it is not lost on me) and the receptionist or whoever she is, insisted I come in and refused to send a note back asking him if I need the test he mentioned. I was furious that this appointment was a waste of time, but Po got paid. No wonder insurance is costly. So, we’ll see how this goes again after almost two years of regularly feeling nauseated and vomiting in the mornings. I’ve also been working at the assistance office for 2 years now come next month. It’s been interesting to say the least. There is never a day at work where I not surprised a bit, sad a bit, and angered.

Hitting home, after years of fighting with my ex-husband over custody of our daughter, I’m now involved again in a custody battle, this time as a stepmom. The custody trial is coming up 2 days after we get back from a week’s camping vacation. Currently my stepson, Matt, visits us every other weekend. His mother lives in Erie so on our Friday, he doesn’t actually get back to our house until 11 at night. On Sundays, we meet her halfway later in afternoon for the exchange. Erie is about 6 hours away from where we live. Basically, Matt gets 2 days a month to do something with us because the other days are spent driving. We are trying to get custody because Matthew has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was young, and more recently ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. His behavior is far, I repeat far, from acceptable. Had I behaved this way I would have just gotten my ass beaten, but these days there’s medication to help stop this bad behavior as well as the hyperactivity. Matt’s mom won’t allow him to take medication and won’t voluntarily give Brian custody, so he’s suing her in court. I truly believe it would be best for Matt to live with us, though it might push me over the edge. Haha
I’ll let you know how things go.


Why do I have to go?

Tesla has started asking when she goes back to her dads.  I told her Monday night after dance.  The new custody schedule is going to be very hard for her and I.  She won’t be spending the night with her mom and that really bothers her.

She asked me why she has to live with her dad during the week.  I explained that her dad and I could not agree on who she should live with so a judge in a courthouse decided that she should live with her dad.  She looked right at me and said, “That’s not what I wanted.  I want to live with you.”

This is probably the hardest pill I’ve ever had to swallow.  It didn’t get any easier when Tesla told me “you didn’t try your best to win” while tears streamed down her face.

I tried and I had Tesla’s best interest in mind.  I feel I failed her at this point, but there is always tomorrow.

I dried her tears and assured her we will see each other plenty.  There will never be a doubt in her mind that her momma loves her.

Someday she will understand.  He who has the $$$$ manages to get his way.  I doubt he will continue to pay anything towards support except his arrears.  Since we are not divorced he will still have that $52 a month spousal support.  What a JOKE!?

For now, she’s back to smiling.


Update:  Since John picked Tesla up I have been allowed to talk to Tesla 4 very brief times while John and Heather sat beside TT.  So far he has refused to let me see her in person.

What a dick.

An interesting note

I was just thinking how interesting is was that even after multiple contempt charges, I was only ever found guilty of writing “on the driveway” and “on the truck tires” in chalk.  The “hindering of business” is what got me yanked out of my house.

If you shared property and business with your spouse and there was an issue with worker’s compensation taxes, employee taxes and truck insurance wouldn’t you be concerned that the trucks were still going to roll out of your driveway and possibly be involved in an accident?  Sorry I tried to warn the employees.  I guess I was just to turn a blind eye.

Do you recall all the contempt charges that had been filed against me?  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/09/02/issues-to-be-addressed/

My home stability has been established.  Finally!

The judge did not find me in contempt for my blog, as I predicted.  Ha!  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/09/02/20000/

All that barking made by John and his lawyers about my home and blog!  Other than costing a fortune in lawyer fees, it didn’t amount to dick.

So I blog onward, passing 30,000 site visits now.  I feel good about the custody hearing.  Not that I am 100 percent certain a court will grant me majority custody, but, that the future is promising.  No matter where Tesla lives, she knows her mommy will be there for her.



P.S. Judge Dorney asked how long I have been interested in writing and I answered, “I started writing in a journal in 7th grade.”  She appeared impressed.


What sticks out in my mind

Today has just been testimony of John and his witnesses.  LaDonna, Diane, Todd, Heather and John took the stand to testify to on John’s behalf.

I was called today also.  My lawyer and I didn’t expect that but I never know what to expect.  I testified to how John and I met.  His lawyer asked me if I felt John had used me to have a baby.  I testified “at that time I didn’t, but I do now.”

Then John testified to ending a marriage that was not broken (Diane) to be with me so he would be able to have children.  He wanted a child.

I almost started to cry.  He makes it sound like I was just a side-note.  His goal was completely centered around him.  To make a child.  Once he achieved that and found that I was not going to be able to have anymore children, he was done with me.

Our relationship ended because of his controlling personality and insistence on having everything his way.

I pray the court system sees what the real situation was.

Also, I didn’t appreciate LaDonna making it sound like I never cared for my child.  What the hell does the office manager really know about what Tesla and I did after “work hours” were done for the day?

Tomorrow Dale, Jarrid and I testify.



Dear John~creditors called

Dear John,

I gave up on the Roman number titles.

A creditor called and wanted to talk to me (Well, Patricia Delauter) about the Visa cards that are way overdue.  They want to offer a settlement amount on the balance.  Remember the Platinum Visa cards.  The Marriott Platinum Visa cards?  One was in the company name and we used it for business.  The other card was for personal use, for both of us.  We each had our own card.

The last things purchased on those cards were

1. Ying

2. yearly Marriott Las Vegas Timeshare

3. Groceries


While I still have Ying and owe money on my hairless dog, you also still owe for Ying.  Half of Ying $600.

I can’t remember what the yearly fee was but I think about a grand on each.  We have two Vegas timeshares.  One wasn’t good enough and now one of in default.  The yearly payment covered your trip to Florida.  You Tesla, Kelly and her kids used that timeshare yet I am stuck with the damn bill?

Groceries were the ones I bought, the day I came back to give you another chance.  What a waste of time that was.

So now I am going back to homework.  The creditor appreciated me updating her on my inability to settle on this credit card.  She will call back in a month.  Not that I think they would ever forget to call.

So back to painting and I’ll see you in court my future ex-hubby.


Issues to be Addressed

The issues in question

So now the whole world can see what is being called into question concerning my daughter and which parent would best be suited to have majority custody.

1.  I have a years lease at my townhouse.  I am paying my rent with STUDENT LOANS.  Yes, that bites big time but, I have to do, what I have to do, to have a place to live.  The house I own is a bit full with the new family.
2. This one is concerning the “Happy Birthday John” blog and I’m sure they are going to point out some other ones.  I will be pointing out the remarks made by John’s girlfriend, Heather.  It’s a two-way street. 
3.YES, I think it should be taken into consideration that Tesla wants to live with her mom!
4.  Father’s schedule is flexible?  PLEASE…anyone who knows John and the moving business will tell you he can never plan anything because the business tends to screw things up daily.  Also, I would like to point out that it’s not JUST father’s company, it’s 50% mother’s also.  Not that I get paid for all my years of work put into this business.
5.  I can communicate just fine.  He only seems to be able to yell and degrade me, make me feel threatened and anxious.
6.Every little girl wants to live with their momma.
This document is available to the public so there is no reason I can’t share it on my blog.  My court date is October 24th and is open to the public.  Anyone interested is welcome to come check out the hearing. 
Courtroom 8,

A day in court

Just when I think the worst is over, I’m wrong.  WRONG!  WRONG! WRONG!

Court today was incredibly stressful as I was run through the gamut.  The proceedings  were certainly lively as Judge Dorney spent a lot of time yelling at John Ott, John Delauter and John’s lawyer, Lauren Kearney.  At one point she threatened to find John’s lawyer in contempt if she didn’t move on to the point at hand.

Basically, because I moved to West York and couldn’t give 90 days notice, I was in contempt.  I didn’t drag him into court every time he had someone move into our house with him.  I didn’t drag him into court when he was living with Kelly and refused to give me the address.  And finally, I didn’t drag him into court when he moved Heather into our house with her children.  Maybe I should have….

In the judges closing statement she said something like “If this were to be decided by a parents attitude, Mr. Delauter would lose.  He has a bad attitude.”  Everyone there already knew that fact.

Who wants to live with someone that has a bad attitude? 


Big John

Tess and I had been playing this game she found at a yard sale called Big John.  For fifty cents she now owns a big plastic toilet and little green “scuzzies” as the icky germs.  She thinks this game is a riot and I admit it is cute and silly.

We are enjoying our morning and time together.  She has no idea that later today Mom has to go to the courthouse and testify why she should live with me.  It is scary having the future decided for you by a complete stranger. 

Last night my future ex came up to my car at the top of the driveway of our home.  I was waiting for Tesla to get in, but Ying had jumped out the window so she was “fetching him.”  John had a razor tool in his hand, the kind you scrape paint, tape, etc off of something.  He was flicking the blade in and out and my eyes were glued on the knife.  I was on the verge of asking if he was trying to intimidate me when he said, “My lawyer said to offer you this.  If you let Tess live here at the house and go to school from here, I will never ask you for child support.”

I responded, “No, I’d rather a judge decide.”

Maybe he expects me to be rich someday,


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