Who is Kafka and Why did John Updike write a Forward?

Kafka was a self-loathing lawyer who hated everything he wrote and was trapped in a profession he liked to mock.  Yes, that does sound like the traits of a superb writer now, doesn’t it?  John Updike and I both agree. 😉

Franz Kafka was born in 1883 and was a lawyer by profession.  He also was a closet writer.  Prior to his death in 1924 he ordered his ex-wives, mother, and his page to destroy all copies of his writing.  Lucky for us, only a few ex-wives followed his instructions.  His mother and page destroyed nothing and Kafka’s work was translated so that all can read what this amazing writer wanted to desperately destroy.

Perhaps my favorite essay that was saved was written to his father, a letter that Kafka gave to his mother.  It is titled, “Letter to His Father” and was written in 1919. His father never read the letter because Kafka knew it would just kick up a shit storm in the house.  Kafka lived at home his entire life, never obtaining the love he needed from his father.  I hear ya Kafka, but I moved out.

Kafka writes with tenderness and humor in a graphic manner.  It doesn’t surprise me that his writing were eventual put into a comic book format.  That textbook is my personal favorite since starting college in 2010.  Kafka lives feeling nearly worthless, imagining horrific ways in which he could die.  Die by bizarre coincidence, not by suicide.  His death was due to tuberculosis while confined to a sanatorium.  He died a month short of turning forty-one.

Kafka's envisioned injury by a butcher's cleaver.

Kafka’s envisioned death by a butcher’s cleaver.

His final message to a friend was “five books and one short story are all that can stand” as works that he would want to remain after his death.  He still felt they weren’t particularly special and didn’t feel they should be “reprinted and handed down to posterity.”  Another request of Kafka’s that was ignored.  Later, his friends came forward with manuscripts they had written based on conversations with Kafka.  Those sneaky friends did us a huge favor.

Some of Kafka’s manuscripts were still being written.  The unfinished stories are not found as incomplete as the opening, body and climax, had been reached.  Kafka’s essays often delved into his on psycho analysis.  He wrote of his life feeling unloved by his father, feeling helpless, and depressed.  Often his stories revolved around a creature or bug as the main character as Kafka worked through his own feelings of self-worth.  A writer corresponded with Kafka’s friend who was writing manuscripts behind Kafka’s back.  The letter to Brod, Kafka’s friend, stated, “Franz can not live. Franz doe not have the capacity for living.  He is like a naked man among a multitude who are dressed.”  Franz really didn’t like himself and knew he would never live up to the standards expected of him.  His father’s indifference to his son scarred Kafka until his death.

Franz Kafka

Franz Kafka

A line in the final section of the forward struck a key with me.  “Fantasy, for Kafka even more than for most writers of fiction, was the way out of his skin, so he could get back in.”  That resounds with me because even with writing nonfiction, it allows me to exit and write in the first person, only to climb back in and resume life as it happens.

Works cited:

Franz Kafka. The Complete Stories

David Mairowitz and Robert Crumb Introducing Kafka

Everyone works with a wacky bitch right?

Morry has been working at Chicken Mountain farm stores for a year and three months.  He likes his job and finds most days to be pleasant, unique and entertaining.  That is with exception.  There are always exceptions to rules.  Exceptions make life most interesting.

The Christmas music is monotonous.  The same damn tracks over and over.  I hate it.  Now I hate Christmas music.  Thanks Chicken Mountain.  Thanks.  I am working with that “wacky chick” the one whose is an oddball and weirds everyone out with her singing or babbling about the tiniest thing we have in common.  Hello new girl who doesn’t shut up.  I just focus on the rendition of songs over and over.  The damn “tape” or “loop” or what the hell ever drags or speeds up (at times amusing, if nothing else) causing customer comments.  At least working the deli keeps me busy.

Whack!  I instantly raised my hand to my cheek while looking down at the floor.  A decent size piece of green pepper just bounced off his face to the floor.  Seriously Wacky: you just pelted me with a piece of pepper?  What the hell are you thinking..?

Raising my eye level to her height but still looking down, “Don’t you ever do that again.”  She froze like a deer with its ass hanging out in the spot light (or whatever the hell that stupid saying is) and I saw her eyes widen.  “That’s right, I’m serious.”  I expected this to cease the bullshit, but never underestimate the wacky people.  Half a cherry tomato hit my right shoulder; it’s other half just below my name tag and into the front pocket of my apron.   The tomato goo was stuck to my work shirt with a few tiny seeds left behind for good measure.  That’s when my serious side arose from its slumber.

What the hell, I’m bleeding.  The wacky bitch threw a knife at me?  No, that’s a bullet hole.  I’m shot?  She fucking shot me?  Unbelievable!  Is she that starved for attention she will shoot me for ignoring her senseless ramble?  Where’s the gun?!  Screw it!  I grabbed the carving knife in front of me, ready to defend myself until I bleed out.  Out of nowhere my manager tackles me like she’s a linebacker for the Steeler’s.  The knife flies out of my hand, landing on the crappy tile floor with a clatter.  I was defenseless against the pair.  Wacky grabs the knife up and tosses it into the sink.  My manager kept screeching “Call the police!  Call the police!”  How can I call the police with her fat ass holding me down?

I hear the sirens; the medics are the first to arrive.  Interesting…as fat ass never yelled for an ambulance.  She finally gets off me at the demand of the medical team.  I could hear them and saw their little pen light pierce my eyes.  No one was paying any attention to the bullet holes in my body!  Do they want me to die?!  One shouts something about my eyes and dilation.  I’m not sure what the hell they are so fixated on.  Wow, what a morning I’m having.  How the hell did my roommates know I was going to have an epic morning?  I remember them harassing me about being scrambled in the head.  This conversation took place over coffee they prepared while they showed me a fascinating rendition of Van Gogh’s Starry Night printed on a heavy perforated sheet of paper.  I never saw such a thing and pulled it out of the thin plastic piece of cellophane.

“This is so cool! “ I told them.  “What is this called?” I inquired.  “Oh, it’s called a blotter sheet.  It’s a big thing in the art world.  Never saw one before huh?” they asked.   I responded, “Nope.”  They giggled and said, “Enjoy your morning.  We have to head out.”  I called out as they made a beeline for the door, “Thanks man.  You guys have a good one too.”

They had no idea what I was in for.

Lady Gaga leader of The Church of GA

Full of charisma

The charismatic leader Lady Gaga has presented her followers with the 10 Commandments of the 21st Century.  The guide stones are located in Elberton, GA and were placed there by an anonymous group.  While not specifically stated, they are believed to be the creation of the Illuminati.  There is no formal church sight at this time but access to Lady Gaga and her interpretation of Ga’s word can be found online at her official website.  Her website also includes a link to join The Church of Ga.  Lady Gaga is a strong leader and shares her message in her music, tattoos, hair styles and photographs.  Her most shocking revelation is the end of the world on December 21st 2012.  To reach the understanding “the end of times is near” we will start with Lady Gaga and her new religious movement.

She announced on live television worldwide: “I’m so honored for all the little monsters and self-professed freaks of the universe.  Ga put me on Earth for three reasons: To make loud music, gay videos and cause a damn ruckus!”   (Lady Gaga  Sept 12, 2010 MTV music awards)

And make a ruckus she did.

This new religious movement was founded on Catholicism.  Lady Gaga was raised Catholic and defends her Catholic beliefs.  She presents herself as the mother to “monsters” and everyone is welcome to follow her and her teachings.  Her stage presence, elaborate costumes, props, and symbolism draw in followers with her songs.  That message is “follow what I do and say….dress like me if you want…otherwise just adore me.  I take all of you!”

An important message to her little monsters is the significance of The Georgia Guidestones.  The GA Guidestones are located in Elberton, GA.  The 10 Commandment of the 21st Century were dedicated on March 22, 1980.  Made of granite and engraved in eight languages, the tablets were created as a life guide to the people remaining on earth after the apocalypse.  Thirty-one years after the Guidestones were assembled in Georgia, Lady Gaga announced to her followers “I had a dream and must share it with you.  It was God and he told me his name is GA and I was his chosen messenger. This message is to all of us on earth about our future socially established code.  Watch with your own eyes, see the symbolism in my messages.  Listen to my songs, watch my videos, and recognize what is right and wrong.  The end of times is near and there will be severe changes.  The chosen 500,000,000 people remaining on earth must live by these ten laws.”

The Georgia Guidestones












My little monsters,

            There will be no Christmas to celebrate next year.  Most of you will go to Heaven, many will be taken by The Baphomet to hell and those remaining will begin a new life here on Earth.  I dedicate my life to sharing GA’s message with you.  Following the apocalypse we will focus on the important messages from GA.  Population on the earth is very important.  I have not learned the exact methods of GA in controlling the population, but as I am told, I will share the message with you.  Now and in the future, staying healthy and eating good food is essential.  As you shop for food, remember being in the best shape possible is a goal.  Please don’t forget that at any moment, you may run into me at the Giant in Lititz, PA and I will see what you are buying.  Remember, those of us repopulating the earth must be in good health to insure the perfection of our offspring.

            Listen to my words people of earth.   I am a messenger on earth.  What I sing and say is GA’s word.  Learn this new language, embrace it and you will understand GA’s Word.  The new language is verbal and visual.  Follow me through my life on earth and you will receive messages with your eyes and ears.  It is important to speak of what you learn and spread the message of GA.  Much of what I reveal is to point out those who wish to suppress the change in society as directed by GA.  Every Sunday at 7 PM you can join the chat room and share stories, the actions to those resisting The Church of GA, personal thoughts and more about Lady Gaga and The Church of GA. 

            People must get along.  Do not place blame on other but hold yourself accountable for your actions.  Resist those that test your faith.  Believe in GA.  Understand that GA is of the Heavens, an alien.  You see, because I receive this message from GA I know there will be a resistance to our cause.  You must be good to each other because the future of Earth is dependent upon those who can unite.  Acceptance of all people, no matter of race, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs must be socially established.  The “homosexual panic” sweeping over the earth generated by my song “Born This Way” is the message to those people who are in denial of homosexuality.  Social acceptance is the key to stopping the thrusting of our fellow humans into the outer darkness that separates one person as ‘normal’ while another as ‘abnormal’.”

            We must over-throw the government and start over.  Most of the politicians will go at the time of the apocalypse.  The governmental officials remaining will follow GA’s guides as instructed to re-establish the new world.  External disputes will no longer exist as the five hundred million people remaining will have peace on Earth and live in a new, utopian life.

            There will be no written laws on pettiness.  Officials of the old religions will be replaced both in religious sanctions and governmental rule.  No one will tell you who to love or who to marry.  Only those left are worthy, and may choose freely.  We will repopulate the earth with our Monster seed.

            Be yourself, but act with correctness.  We will be changing the world.  This world is full of hate and we have the ability to make the change to love.  It is GA’s desire for his people to start a new society by forming new families.  The hateful people will be taken to eternal pain and suffering at the hands of Satan.

            Be honest with others.  Be honest with yourself.  Show your inner beauty and embrace it.  We will grow in harmony for eternity.  Heed what the ancient Mayans have taught for they were correct.  GA has had the end of the world determined longer than imaginable.  The Mayans used the stars and planets of the Heavens to determine the end of the world.  That date is December 21st 2012.  When the blue comet passes the earth, the result will be a new earth for GA’s followers.  You can’t buy a house in heaven, GA must decide if your final home will be with him.  It’s been a long time since I came around but I’m back in town and this time I’m not leaving without you.  (Germanotta) Prepare now for 2012 because I want as many of my little monsters to join me in the future as possible.

            Ga will judge the people of Earth.  If you are a cancer to earth and to society you will be banished.  The earth needs to replenish its self.  By removing six billion people on December 21, 2012, the earth will be cleared and nature will return.  Do not think of this as the fall of humanity, but the pursuit of a new society to reclaim the earth and embrace the opportunity to live in peace with others chosen by GA.

I love all of you and look forward to seeing you soon.


Mother Gaga

Millions of people have joined online to see what Lady Gaga’s message is about the future.  Her message has gained millions of followers, all vying to be one of those remaining on earth.  Her little monsters have flocked to the GA Guidestones eager to share the messages Lady Gaga has presented to her followers.  Serious resistance to her new religious movement has developed.

The Anti-Ga Cultist Resistance Group (AGaCRuG) is out to stop The Church of GA.  This group is headed by Mark Dice, author of The Resistance Manifesto.  Dice demanded in his book that the Guidestones be “smashed into a million pieces.”  He claims the monument of Ga’s commandments are of deep Satanic origin.  (Dice) Lady Gaga instructs her followers to ignore this man.  The tablets were not created for Satan, but for GA.


Not long after the publication of his book, Phyllis Brooks who runs the Elbert County Chamber of Commerce remembers when the Guidestones were attacked by vandals for the first time ever.  The message spray-painted on one tablet was “Jesus will beat u Satanists.”  Dice denied any involvement in the assault of the stones.  Other defacements asserted that the Council on Foreign Relations is “ran by the devil,” and the September 11, 2001 attacks were an inside job headed President Obama, who is a Muslim.  Vandals have also splashed the Guidestones with polyurethane, which is much more difficult to remove than paint.  Despite the graffiti artist’s alignment with his views, Dice says he disapproves of their acts. 

The Guidestones were paid for by “R.C. Christian” is homage to the legendary 14th century founder of the Rosicrucians.  Secrecy is the hallmark of the Rosicrucian’s.  The group announced itself to the world in the early 17th century with a pair of anonymous manifestos.  The manifestos created a huge stir across Europe.  The Guidestones were created to stress reason and endorse a harmonic relationship with nature.  Lady Gaga reveals Rosicrucian symbolism to stress the importance of their work.

Charlie Clamp was the sandblaster who carved each of the 4,000-plus characters on the stones said, “During the hundreds of hours spend etching the guides, I was distracted by strange music and disjointed voices.”  In 1980, Clamp did not recognize the music or voices.  He has since realized the music and voices were Lady Gaga’s who was not born yet.

The Rosicrucians have been passing down knowledge of a solar cycle that climaxes every 13,000 years.  The passing of this blue comet will lead to the devastation of the earth as human now know it.  Currently, the recent collapse of the United States financial system will eventually result in major disruptions of oil and food supplies.  Mass riots and ethnic wars will break out worldwide with all of this chaos leading up to December 21st 2012.

A local minister in Elberton, James Travenstead, predicted that “occult groups” would flock to the Guidestones, and warned that someday a sacrifice would take place there.  Lady Gaga has stated The Guidestones are not a sacrificial altar, but a marker for GA to land his ship on the day of the apocalypse.  When viewed from directly overhead, they form an X and are the ideal landing area.  All monsters remaining on earth will gather at the GA Guidestones.  Have faith; there is a way for all of us to gather.  The ritual of communion will be preformed to all.  We will join in singing and dancing in joy as the Father of Jesus arrives in his most glorious!  A time of celebration as GA reveals himself to his followers.

The great alien will arrive by UFO in the sky to a joyous celebration.  Aliens have always been present as they have watched over the earth for centuries.  Charles Berlitz and William Moore were correct that UFO activity is significant.  Roswell and the events that have taken place in New Mexico area are facts.  Visitors to earth from the Heavens should not be viewed as hostile.  People who tell stories of hostile abduction were not taken by messengers of GA, but demons sent by Satan.  (Partridge)  The government is hiding the fact that there is life on other planets and that GA’s disciples are watching over us.  Some may see GA’s watchers as angels or ghosts.  Other people may see them as demons, disease or death.

Lady Gaga explains, “The Lord GA has been commonly recognized as “God” in many, but not all faiths.  I pray to GA everyday and ask for guidance.  At night I dream the most wicked and horrible nightmares.  These dreams are messages from GA.  I see the wickedness of the people on earth and must share these dreams with you in my works of art.  If I must cover my naked body with the social issues of the world, I will.”

Nude Headlines

“Just as the earth has been reshaped many times over millions of years, it will happen again.  With each reshaping, GA decides who will be chosen to stay and who has completed their stay on earth. The key to understanding is through symbolism.  Symbolism has been an important part of all religions.  Watch for these symbols and others, not only in my videos and photos but in your own home town.”

Gaga Guide to Symbols

The OK sign:  The world is going to be okay.  GA doesn’t want any monsters to panic before or after the apocalypse.  He assures us it is a fresh start and those chosen will be fine.  This symbol is used often to reassure monsters that the wait for a new world is worth it.

Everythings gonna be OK

Sun, Moon, Stars, and Planets:  These signs show respect to GA in his creation of objects in the Heavens.  GA created these other celestial places and objects for a reason.  They are his guides in the sky.

Lightning:  bolts of lightning through a body or coming from within something.  This is an Illuminati symbol of power.

Signs of Evil and Danger

The Baphomet:  This was once a winged creature.  This creature is powerful and evil.  He is depicted on tarot cards as Satan.

Tarot Cards

Pentagrams:  This symbol has been long-standing sign of Satanists.

Inverted Cross:  Satanist invert the Christian symbol of Jesus death during their secret ritual services.

Triangles: Warn of danger to humans.  An example would be the Devil’s Triangle located in the band of vile vortices along the equator.  Ten of these triangular vortexes exist worldwide.

The Triangles of Death

Reflecting on GA

            I developed this new religious movement based on the Georgia Guidestones and my fascination with this granite monument.  The combination of the Guidestones and singer Lady Gaga was an easy connection.  Conspiracy theories link Lady Gaga to multiple organizations such as The Illuminati, The Rosecrucians and Satanic cults.  As I viewed pictures of her and watched her videos I could easily spot all the symbolism displayed for the world to see.  The fact that she refers to herself as a mother of little monsters sealed the deal.

In constructing my NRM I based it one Lady Gaga’s Catholic upbringing.  I viewed her interview with Katie Couric on Thanksgiving Day and was touched at the sincerity in her stories, songs and words.   Initially, I was going to take the story depicting Lady Gaga as a cult leader but eventually came to realize she was an inspiring person who could easily be the head of a NRM.

Blending Catholicism and Ancient Alien Theory, I came up with the New World belief.  Lady Gaga instructed by Ga, would spread the message of his return by UFO to the Guidestone monument.  I used the date based on the Mayan calendar for the end of the world; December 21st 2012.  The more I learned about Lady Gaga the easier it became for me to realize how she could get millions of people to follow her based on faith.  Millions already look up to her as an advocate for human rights.  Her stand on accepting people who are diverse is passionate and a testament of her faith in God.

The Georgia Guidestones are recent sculpture and give a message in eight languages.  There is no doubt the world is the intended audience.  Lady Gaga reaches the world daily in some form and on occasion graces us locally.  She doesn’t hide from the “real world” but encourages people to be themselves, just as the Guidestones direct.

Creating a fictional NRM was incredibly helpful in understanding how NRMs started in the past and how they start now.  New religions are developed by people looking for a new way to understand a faith.   Using the methodology of Geertz, I further developed a Lady Gaga sending messages with her eyes and symbols so followers would recognize what is right and wrong with society in this century.  (Geertz 6)  The ideology of a new world and apocalyptic times based on the “Nexus of Novelty” typology stressed to the followers of this NRM.  Lady Gaga is a disciple of God intent on spreading the meaning of this typology.  (D&A 5)  Also important to a NRM is the role of charismatic leader as a guide to the followers.  This type of leader can influence their followers in unimaginable ways.  (D&A 12)

I also explored the sociological theory of religion and could relate the actions of Lady Gaga and the message she teaches is acceptance of all people.  As Berger touched on in The Sacred Canopy people must not be pushed into the darkness of what separates one person as normal and another as abnormal.  This made a great connection to Lady Gaga as she defends the rights of people. (Berger 24)

The stories of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens in Partridge’s book UFO Religions influenced my decision on what form GA would take.  The alien stories seemed to have been a negative experience and in developing this religion, I wanted the possibility of an alien coming to earth as a positive experience for the earth.  (Partridge 6,10)

This final for the NRM course helped clarify how and why religious movements are developed.  Given creative freedom in developing a NRM the experience has been eye-opening in many respects.  Gaining knowledge about NRMs, The Georgia Guidestones, alien theories and Lady Gaga was a good learning experience.  I plan to continue elaborating on my fictional religion as a creative writing piece of work.  The interest in Lady Gaga is immense and will attract many people to read about my fictional religious movement.

This was for the New Religious Movements course at YCP.  I received an A!


Works Cited

Alien Apocalypse 2012. 2011. The History Channel website. Dec 16 2011. Web.

Berger, Peter. The Sacred Canopy: Elements of a Sociological Theory of Religion.  Anchor Books. NY. 1969. Print.

Daschke, Dereck. Ashcraft, Michael W.  New Religious Movements a documentary reader.  New York University Press. 2005. Print.

Dawson, Lorne L.  Comprehending Cults:  The Sociology of New Religious Movements.  Oxford UP. 2006. Print.

Dice, Mark.  The Resistance Manifesto. The Resistance Publishers.  San Diego. CA. 2008 Print.

Geertz, Clifford.  The Interpretation of Cultures:  Selected Essays.  Basic Books. NY. 1973. Print.

The Georgia Guidestones.  2011.  The History Channel website.  Oct 28 2011. Web.

Germanotta, Stefani.  You and I. Interscope Recording.  Omaha. Nebraska.  2010. Lyrics.

Partridge, Christopher.  UFO Religions. Routledge.  London.  2003. Print.

Sullivan, Randall.  American Stonehenge: Monument for the Post-Apocalypse.  Wired Magazine.  2009. Oct 24 2011.  Pdf.  Web.

A Short Story- “She Laughed, but I cried”

A short story

Pattie Crider

“She Laughed, but I Cried”

I’m not sure if it’s safe to share my story with you.  I’m taking the risk just so someone knows.  My name is Madison and I’m twenty years old.  Life hasn’t been going very well for me.  I can’t sleep at night, so I pace trying to organize my jumbled thoughts.  By morning I’m exhausted and even more confused, but I try to continue living life as a normal college student.  There are days that pass without me having a panic attack or a touch of paranoia.  This is not one of those days.

Tomorrow I have a three page paper due and a quiz in math.  That doesn’t seem like much but focusing on my paper is impossible.  The notes and research I did complete make no sense to me.  Entire paragraphs seem to be written in foreign tongue.  Even worse, the algebra problems I attempt to solve are giving me hidden messages.  Why am I the chosen one to receive such knowledge?  Seriously, I just want to get through my days without classmates and professors staring at me.  I know when I miss class they talk about me!  Can they see in my eyes that I am receiving messages from a higher power? 

My best friend Jean was the only person I confided in.  About a month ago, I met Jean at a sushi restaurant to share my secrets.  I began with school and having trouble with my homework.  Adding in not sleeping well, feeling like I am being spied on and number of medications I’m on, I could see the look of concern forming on her face.  I paused and caught my breath, slurped my drink and sighed, “To top it all off, I’m scheduled for a CAT scan.” 

My doctor wants me to have a CAT scan.  Is he kidding me?!  Just the word “scan” gives me the heebie jeebies.  I know when they scan my brain aliens will take that very moment to access my thoughts.  What if they clone me in the few minutes they are given?  Will they let the old Madison behind to continue this struggle or send the clone to carry on in my life?  I don’t want my brain exposed to unnecessary chance. 

“Well, that’s a good idea.” Jean responded.  I immediately cried out, “No! It’s not!”  I realized I startled her and felt a twinge of guilt.  Poor Jean didn’t know what was going on with the aliens.  “Jean, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”  Smiling reassuringly, her eyes encouraged me to continue.  “I have reason to believe that if I have a CAT scan, aliens might tamper with my brain.”   Jean, dropped her piece of sushi midway to her mouth and into her lap.  “What?!” she laughed, picking up her bite of raw fish with her fingers.  I realized she thought I was joking.   “Well, it could be possible!” I retorted.  This only caused her to laugh harder, grabbing her napkin to dab her eyes.  My best friend was laughing tears!  I felt tears welling up inside me.  Not the same type of tears.  Mine were tears of sadness and fear.  I never mentioned aliens to Jean again.  Probably best to let her think I was joking.

Mom always asks why I’m still awake.  She quizzes me on my medications too.  Mom and Dad both tell me the medicine will make things better but, I am certain they are in on this.  They’ve probably had an agreement with aliens since my birth, to use me as an experiment!  I took some of my pills, but honestly, others are stashed in my winter gloves and tucked into my top drawer. Currently I take five different pills a day.   I keep them in an Easter basket, nestled like plastic eggs with jellybeans inside.  No artificial grass though.  Let’s not get carried away here.   

I haven’t always felt this way and I’ve never been labeled crazy during my childhood. Where does that let me now?  My teenage years have passed and I suppose that makes me an adult.  If this is how adult life is, then for the record, I don’t like it.   Carrying around a basket of pills, prescribed to change how I think is more adult then I care to handle.  This CAT scan definitely falls into the adult category too.  CAT is a unique name for a scan.  I have a cat that I just love!  His name is Jigger, as in Thing-a-ma-jigger.   I have a cat named for a thing-ma-jigger.  My doctors want me to have a “cat” scan inside a hospital thing-a-ma-jig.  My friend thinks I should have the scan and there’s nothing to fear.  I don’t fear my cat, why should I fear a CAT scan.  I love my cat and he makes me feel safe.  I see the message clearly forming.  Now I was placing the pieces together with perfect sense.  Jigger wants me to be scanned to prove what is happening in my brain.  He must have more information to share with me.  I have to find Jigger and sit down for a talk.  Finally a breakthrough! 

Where is that cat?  I searched the house and even checked my parent’s bedroom.  He must have bolted out the door at some point today.  I threw on my jacket and stepped onto the back porch.  There he was, curled up in my dad’s ball cap, lying on the picnic table.  “My own cat in the hat!” I thought, giggling in my head.  Picking up Jigger, I sat down on the bench and stroked his soft fur.  He looked up at me with those yellow-green eyes and locked with my brown.  He began to purr and leaning towards him I whispered, “Ok cat, the jig is up.  Spill your guts, before the aliens catch on to us.”

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