Back to the boot

Before stitches are removed

The best part about going back to the boot is….it comes off easily and I can have a REAL shower. I’m so happy about that I could throw balloons in the shower with me to celebrate! (That’s not a bad idea…)

I need to put the boot on when I’m up and moving around, but sitting on the couch, I can take it off. Last night I didn’t wear the boot while I slept. When I wake up and even move a little, I instantly remember I’m injured.

The additional stress of this injury and my inability to move around without further injuring myself has been overwhelming. I fell last Tuesday (hurt my right shoulder) and Thursday after my doctor appointment. My cast was removed and the stitches in my ankle cut out. I was given care directions and finally could leave. I was thrilled to have that “cinderblock” removed from my leg.

We made a quick stop on the way home. After leaving the store, I came to the end of the sidewalk into the parking lot and my cart stopped, but my body didn’t. The pain was excruciating as my foot touched down and didn’t have my boot on yet. It was at home, forgotten.

Brian and several people came running to me, but I had to lay on the ground withering in pain before even attempting to stand back up. I couldn’t stop moaning and even put my hand over my mouth so everyone in the parking lot wouldn’t hear my wallowing. It took a good minute or two before I even wanted to try.

After the parking lot fall.

Safely back into the passengers seat, we headed home and my moaning turned into crying. Poor Brian didn’t know what to think. He asked if I needed to go right back to the hospital. I shook my head no but couldn’t speak. I did have some pain, but not enough to make me cry.

“What do you need? What can I do?” he asked in earnest, truly wanting to make me better.

I finally blurted out, “My ankle’s ok but I want my mommy!”

He wisely just let me cry it out, as there was no substitute for my mom. When I’m at the end of my rope, mom is my go to.

We visited my mom yesterday. I told her the story of falling in the parking lot and crying I wanted my mommy. We laughed and laughed. My mom knows the frustration I’m going through and it was wonderful to see her and share this little sliver of life.

I know someday when I cry and want my mommy, I won’t be able to just go visit. Cherish everyday with your loved ones.

Wednesday is my first day of physical therapy. I’m excited to get started. I’ve had PT in the past for injuries, none this serious, and had great success. I feel positive I can get back on track. No jump roping for a long time. Maybe even never!!

Healing ungracefully,


My left leg is SO skinny. Good thing muscle comes back quickly.

February already

Just watching my life fly by….from the couch.

The month of Love has arrived. It snuck in while I was under the influence of pain meds. Now Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us and I have zero ideas for a gift for the hubby. I can’t even promise a good time, but I will be good company.

I’m currently in a plaster cast. It’s like having 2 concrete blocks on my leg. My toes are constantly cold and I haven’t been able to wash off all the doctor “signatures” on my leg. I covered my cast with a plastic bag and saran wrap and was able to kinda shower. If you’ve ever been laid up and tried to shower without getting certain parts wet, well, it’s a struggle. I still feel like a graffiti board.

The next appointment (and cast removal, I hope) is Feb 16th. I am excited at the thought of losing the cast and just having boot splint to wear. I still will be non-weight baring but it is a step in the right direction. One I am permitted to take.


Several friends and family have stopped by and I greatly appreciate the visitors, gifts, good ideas and prayers. The restrictions and inability to move around is worse then the pain.

I’ve also resigned to having hairy legs. Keeps me warm.

Keep on smiling,


Least sexiest boot ever

It’s completely severed. Damn.

Things were a bit rough today. It was hard to hear my Achilles tendon was completely severed. That it would not just grow back together if left unattended. I would be able to walk, but it would be nothing like what my active life has been. With surgery and good behavior, I could start to “kinda” walk again in 6 weeks and even have a full recovery in a year.

Spring is right around the corner and I have plans, so my goal is to be walking in April. Not sure how long I’ll need to wear this sexy boot after my cast is removed. Big Boots don’t work well on Boats. Big Boobs on Boats is a whole different story.

In other news, Tesla has her driver’s license after completing all necessary requirements and passing on her first try. The car her dad “surprised” her with for Christmas (that she has to pay for) is sitting in his driveway. She can’t drive it unless he’s with her because he doesn’t feel she’s ready yet. But, if I want to put insurance that covers her on the Volvo we bought her, he doesn’t care if she drives it to his house. Yeah, you read that right.

Also, Tesla started reading my old blog posts and has encouraged me to work on writing my book. We had a long conversation and I told her sensitive things that I have never blogged about because I didn’t want her to hear about them for the first time reading my blog.

As times passes, things get foggy. I am thankful I have all my blog posts and boxes, yes boxes, of paper notes. I’m going to need memory joggers.

Lastly, Matt is living with Brian’s parents. He won’t be moving back into our home.

I’m heading to bed. It’s been a day of disappointment, pain, aggravation and emotional hurt. I’m done.

Tomorrow is a fresh day,


Just Jumping Rope. Gravity Wins.

What happened? You fell down.

There I am, getting my ass to the gym, trying to stay somewhat healthy, and even improve. Yea me! I was feeling great warming up with my new rope and . . . someone kicked me from behind.

Brian gave me a speed rope for Christmas. Not sure how other wives might feel about that, but, I loved it. I finally remembered to cut it off the cardboard and take in to workout on Wednesday. On Thursday, Brian was at the gym too and watching me jump rope, even commenting on how well it was going. My gym mates are really good at jumping rope. Some look like they are effortlessly dancing, often to a song only in their head.

I was watching them and decided to give it a try. I’m decent at jumping rope, I just can’t do it very long before I get hung up. But I keep trying, it’s all about keeping the heart rate up. Sometimes, I don’t even use the rope, I just jump around and swing my arms. No one cares.

No sooner did I start trying to jump “fancy” I got hit in the back of my left leg. It happened so damn fast I didn’t even realize I was on the gym floor, until I was there. One of our trainers, John, who was starting class in 2 minutes, looked down at me. I’m not sure if he recognized my confusion. I looked behind me, certain someone had accidentally kicked me, or I had crashed into equipment.

There was nothing behind me. Not a fucking thing I could have tripped over, other then my ego from thinking I could jump rope like the twenty-some-year-old, next to me. I actually asked what happened and both John and Brian, who was behind me, said it looked like I rolled my ankle. That does make more sense.

I tried to stand up and I couldn’t. I moaned and felt my stomach lurch. Oh Lord, please don’t let me barf on the gym floor. That would be horribly embarrassing. The guys tried to help me stand up and I felt my world start to close in and get dark. My stomach began to roll and I realized the reality of throwing up AND passing out on the gym floor. I HAD to get out of there.

John and Brian picked me up and carried me to the door. People were coming in as I was being carried out. I wish I could have said, “wait till you see the other guy.”

I didn’t go to urgent care until Friday afternoon after my Facebook friends insisted I needed to see a doctor. And, hey, they were right. The doctor said I severed my Achilles tendon and the end is probably up in my calf. I told him I was going to hope it’s not completely severed. He smile and responded, “you do that.”

Tuesday afternoon is MRI day. I’ve been on the couch for 2 days. I’m probably going to be immobile for weeks and then have months of recovery. That is going to suck.

I have never had to slow down like this before. I think about my mom and how she is chair bound, for probably LIFE. She will most likely never walk, and I will most likely, will have a full recovery. I’m going to suck it up and make the most of it with 3 goals.

  1. Don’t be down in spirit.
  2. Blog about anything. (Someone I don’t know once referred to my blog as a “Mommy Blog and train wreck I can’t stop reading”. Sounds accurate and thank you.)
  3. Follow doctor’s orders.

One or more of these may be difficult.


Lower Chesapeake Tour Part 3

“Nude Sailing Morning”

The next morning I woke up disoriented, and it took me a moment to figure out where I was crashed. I crawled from my tiny burrow and poked my head out of the cabin.

Couldn’t ask for more

It was gorgeous! Warm and sunny, just beautiful. I was excited to get up top and look around. I still had on my sweatpants and shirt from the night before. It was pretty chilly overnight. We didn’t run the heater thought, because I actually like it cold.

I definitely didn’t need sweat clothes, in fact, I didn’t need any clothes. There wasn’t a soul around. Well, there were some huge freighters far off on the bay, but we were like ants to them.

Brian already had coffee made and waiting for me. I shed my clothes and went up top into the sun. Brian was taken back, but also smiling, “those ships have giant binoculars.”

You’re naked.

“Good, let them look. Might be the best part of their day.”

“Could be”, he responded, shaking his head.

I ran around the boat taking pictures. It was such a freeing moment, and I got such a kick out of it. So did Brian. We pulled anchor and set saiI, no motor needed. I blew up some balloons and did eventually put on my swimsuit as we got closer to Thimble Shoal Lighthouse.

There were a few boats around, and we even saw some nut jump off his boat and swim in the bay. I did consider it, because my skin was on fire, but I knew the water had to be freezing. Hard pass.

From the lighthouse we headed to Hampton, VA. I cooked scrambled eggs in route. It was one of the most challenging cooking experiences I’ve ever had. I couldn’t keep my balance even though we weren’t in rough water. Just cruising at 4 mph tossed me around and I crashed my shoulders and legs in galley. It took me 20 minutes to cook 6 eggs, and they were worth every bump I endured.

As we ate our breakfast, a scary “kill you dead ship” passed by looking intimating as hell next to our tiny sailboat. Our boat seems HUGE in the driveway, but not so much next to these enormous ships. Go US Navy!!

We already had a slip booked for the night, and tried fishing as we sailed, but caught nothing. I couldn’t wait to get back on land and explore Hampton. There was a restaurant I researched that had rave reviews. My enthusiasm waned a bit when I learned I picked a place 1.5 miles away. I already was boiling inside my skin. But, Brian said, “come on, it will be fun.”

Coming soon Part 4. Where’s the Damn Shade?

Thank you for reading our adventures. Please let a comment on my blog or Facebook!

Were you expecting to see the nudes?


If you enjoyed this post, check out the full series starting here!

Lower Chesapeake Tour Part 2

“Things Got Choppy”

We headed out of the Fox Hill dock area, and motored our way through the channel. I HATE having anything to do with the motor. I don’t mind handling the rudder for short periods of time, but the motor is more responsibility then I wish to take on. I should not be in charge of handling anything that can possibly cause me to panic and crash our sailboat. And sink. This is relevant later.

Once we cleared the channel, Brian raised the sails. For some reason, the main sail wouldn’t go all the way up. But, it was breezy, and we had no problem catching the wind.

Almost fully open sail

There were wind gusts up to 20 mph, and certainly created excitement on our part. We saw dolphins, not just swimming, but playing in the water. Or, maybe they were eating fish, also a possibility, as Brian explained to me. I knew that, but I’m my head they WERE PLAYING. That made our afternoon.

With the 750lb keel dropped, we sailed across the bay. Or, you could say, we were tossed about like a piece of cork. I had taken a pill for motion sickness to avoid feeding the fish over the side of the boat.

It wasn’t working. 🤢

I decided to see if I felt better by trying out my new boat bed.

He had bought a queen memory foam for the bow and a twin for the galley, cutting them to size. Here’s a picture of us putting sheets on the mattress and trying it out at home. They worked fantastic, making sleeping in the boat tolerable.

There was stuff everywhere, from all the tossing about. I had to clear the short path to the bow, and even our 5 gallon water bottle had fallen over. The water pump was off the top, pouring water INTO the boat. After setting it on the floor, I attempted to mop up what was right in the path, while yelling to Brian that the water spilled. He replied, “okay” and stayed focused on his destination to fish.

I crawled in and turned around so my head was facing the correct direction this time. I’m new, okay? Certainly makes more sense to put my head away from the bow. It’s a tiny place to sleep, but I called dibs.

Instead of having a table, we just kept it down as Brian’s sleeping area. He’s about 5 feet away from me at night. He snores, but in my bed, my head is at a toilet, separated by a thin, plywood panel. I’ll take the toilet. It doesn’t smell or snore.

After about an hour into the sail, I came back up and asked how much longer until we got to where he wanted to fish. His answer wasn’t what I wanted to hear, as we still had about 2 plus hours, to go.

He asked if I wanted to turn around and warned it would be “with the wind” and even choppier, but much faster then completing the sail across. “Yeah, back is good.”

And, it was decided.

He goes below to visit the potty. It’s portable and works great in the boat. We did take the door off the bathroom. It was annoying and unnecessary. You have to “back in” and it’s much smaller then on an airplane or bus. The walls flex as they are only attached at the top and bottom and they waves at time caused me to brace myself as best possible, without busting down the walls.

If we have guests, they’ll have to get used to the idea of no bathroom door. Also, that clothes are optional. But, that’s later in my story. 😱

Brian comes back up and said “yeah we do need to turn around. I could tell by his voice it had nothing to do with me already deciding we were turning around. What’s up I asked.

He said “there’s some water in the boat and I’m gonna have to check that.” I said, “baby, I told you our water bottle fell over.” He answered, “Oh yeah, that’s right. That’s really, fucking good we’re not taking on water. I was concerned.”

I just didn’t have words.

We turned, and the sails filled with air. God said “let’s have some fun with these two idiots out in their little sailboat on the bay” and off we went. 9 mph doesn’t seem fast, unless you’re on a sailboat, tilted to one side, and asking yourself, “Is this fun?”

Yes, it was crazy fun. I like that excitement. I didn’t feel we were in any danger, but it was rough. He decided to motor back, to try for more control. That helped, but the motor is tiny, only 5 hp. It was enough.

We finally reach the calm area of Back River and dropped anchor for the night to fish and sleep. It was very peaceful, and I liked just laying on the seat area, looking up at the stars and chatting. Around 11 pm, I went into the cabin and brushed my teeth. It was time to sleep.

Stay tuned for my next post of, best time every waking up on a sailboat soaked in sunshine. Could also be called, my first time waking up on a sailboat soaked in sunshine. But, I’ve settled for Part 3- Nude Sailing Morning.

Thank you for reading. Would LOVE and APPRECIATE new subscribers to my blog!!! COMMENTS are awesome here, or on Facebook. Feel free to share. 🙂


One of my best friends, Leslie, is on a European vacation of a lifetime, and part of it on a sailboat. Brian has talked me into retiring on a sailboat, if it’s big enough and sea-worthy, in 9 years, I will go.

Lower Chesapeake Tour Part 1

“Setting Sail”

We left York County, Pennsylvania, towing our sailboat, with Sunny Daze visions in our heads. That is also what I named our vessel, and dazed in the sunshine, was the goal.

Leaving at 5:30 AM, our first destination was Fox Hill Boat Ramp, Hampton, MD. Brian drove for hours and we finally stopped on the interstate for gas and a meal at Subway. There we got sticker shock, not on the gas, but on the fast food. A 6 inch meal and a foot-long sub came to $29.63!

Brian doing something sailboaty and looking cute af.

It took about 6 hours to get to our dock, arriving around 11:30 am. Unlike dropping pretty much any other type of boat, starting the engine and taking off, we have to set up the mast and boom. That’s 6 cables, from what I’m told, but it feels like 600. And don’t even get me started on all the ropes involved. There’s more rope on sailboat, then at a fetish party. No joke.

Not my party, but DAMN.

We get the boat on the water and begin set up. While he’s dragging out both (huge) parts I am carrying supplies from the car to the dock. At one point I was carrying more than I possibly could handle, and dropped a bag of the groceries, stepping squarely on his box Tastycakes. For some reason, this made me laugh out loud and I even made a video. In the video, you can hear him yelling at me to get back over there and help him. Oops!


Since Brian was doing all the planning for this trip, he also did all the packing of the food. From the amount of groceries we had on the boat, we could have been at sea 2 weeks. We had plans to dock and eat at restaurants we researched, so I knew we would not need all this food. What we wound up needing more of was creamer. Cold Stone sweet cream is essential for my coffee.

About 2 o’clock, we launched. I’m sure with more practice it will be quicker, but it is a serious process to raise a 28 foot mast. That’s monstrous when you’re 5’1. Initially, I thought I said under the boom but I later found out it sometimes hangs lower and will smack me in the head when I least expect it. Which is all the time, because nothing ever hits me in the head. I’m 5’1!

Look! No boom-boom to the head. (at that moment)

At least we were on the water. It was gusty and there was no doubt, the sails were going to make us FLY!

Coming soon. . .Part 2 “When Things Got Choppy”


Pre-trip story of how we even have a fucking sailboat to start with. . .

Click here

Please comment on my blog OR on Facebook! Thank you!!!

Happy Birthday Sailboat

My husband, Brian, and I, went on our first, overnight sailboat trip. But first, there is a bit of a pre-story to the sailboat. ⛵️

While I was in Florida, visiting friends and family, he bought a 25 foot, 1976 MacGregor sailboat. That was October 9, 2021 and MY birthday. I had no idea he was going to buy a sailboat. It never crossed my mind he would buy anything that takes up that much room in our driveway, without discussing it with me.

I had never sailed until taking this trip to FL and visiting my friend Leslie. I loved sailing on her boat, but that didn’t mean I wanted one! When he called and wished me a happy birthday and said he bought me a 25 foot sailboat, I hung up on him 3 times, using language that would make my mama blush. I was so angry, I couldn’t speak.

Eventually, I heard him out on the 4th call. (He let some precious time pass before he tried to call again, AND Leslie talked me down from my towering inferno.) Once I learned the boat was almost as old as I was, and he had not spent his entire retirement on it, I cooled off, and asked that important question, “Does it float?”

He took it out once with the kids while I was still away (pre-telling me) and once with me after I returned from FL. He left out of Annapolis, Maryland, for both 3-4 hour trips. Then, he decided we were taking a 5 day, 4 night trip on the lower the Chesapeake Bay. He hadn’t really planned anything out yet, other then he wanted us to go, and if I agreed he would plan everything. Putting all my faith in Jesus and Brian’s word, (he’s been rock solid for me nearly 8 years now) I said, “sure baby. Don’t kill me.”

I’m going to write about our first sailing experience in parts. I’m going to talk to Brian as I write about the days, or a specific experience, because he will think about things I’ve forgotten. And, I’m going to try to write everyday, because I am a blogging slacker and my friends keep telling me to get back on the writing wagon. Giddy-up.

I hope you will follow along in my story. Thanks for reading and let me a comment on here or Facebook!

Sails up!

~P. ⛵️🎈❤️

TikTok looner

I choose to let my weird show, so others know it’s ok.


I started a TikTok channel, and a friend said, “if you want to post and get followers, do your balloon videos.”

Driving men wild, one toe at a time.

I’ve been posting videos on YouTube almost as long as I’ve been blogging, 11 years blogging and 9 years on YouTube. I’ve been on TikTok since September 2021, and currently have about 3500 followers, which grows by the hour. My friends are taking interest in my balloon fetish. Many have come over and hang out, playing with balloons because….IT’S FUN! We have a fantastic time and it’s not weird for anyone. Some have entered Pattie’s Balloon Studio skeptical, but they all leave loon lovers. My husband isn’t into being on camera, so he usually my camera man. Lucky guy. 😉

Suntan feets

I started going live on TikTok. In fact, I’m going to live again soon. I’m currently in TikTok jail for 2 days for violating community standards one too many times, within a certain timeframe. That is a bunch of crap, but whatever. I can’t help it I’m sexy. The violations were posts, not me saying or doing something that was reported. TikTok is a time wasteland (I’ve been sucked into), and it’s crazy what people will report as a violation, but two seconds later, a picture of a hot 24 year old will stream by topless, and that’s ART.

WELL, I’m ART too, with my balloons. Ask thousands of looners and feet lovers. I have the cutest (and I’m told sexiest) feet ever with or without nylons.

Who doesn’t love silk thigh highs?

Worthy of TikTok jail, as I now known.



Living through a pandemic. All of us.

Would have never thought I would experience something, like this illness, that is having such a tremendous impact on the world. I’m sick, again. Already had Covid in October 2020, after returning from a 50th birthday trip to Las Vegas. I jumped off the Stratosphere, zipped lined over Freemont Street and picked up Covid. Happy 50th to me.

I’ve been vaccinated, and had my booster. I know, I’m one of the lucky ones that is not real sick. And, I am not as sick as I was the first time around. (so far, anyway) Compared to others, I’m doing great. There are several people I know that are sick, or got sick, and were not vaccinated. My brother is one of them. Now he’s willing to get vaccinated after his waiting period.

Some of those people I knew, did not survive. It breaks my heart.

I had to insist my daughter get vaccinated. Her father felt the opposite.

She’s been off school after a positive test, and though she could return today, according to CDC guidelines, I did not send her. She was up and ready to leave for school, but her father did not want her returning to his house for his week, because he didn’t want Covid coming right through the door. (Neither did I, but she didn’t know she had it when she came home.) I didn’t speak to him about it, but I kept her home. If he doesn’t feel safe having her go to his house, then I am not sending her to school with all those students and staff. Nothing to discuss. I feel we need to protect each other more.

When is the end for Covid? Remember the 24hr flu? Now, it’s the 365 day flu.

With no end in sight.


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