Least sexiest boot ever

It’s completely severed. Damn.

Things were a bit rough today. It was hard to hear my Achilles tendon was completely severed. That it would not just grow back together if left unattended. I would be able to walk, but it would be nothing like what my active life has been. With surgery and good behavior, I could start to “kinda” walk again in 6 weeks and even have a full recovery in a year.

Spring is right around the corner and I have plans, so my goal is to be walking in April. Not sure how long I’ll need to wear this sexy boot after my cast is removed. Big Boots don’t work well on Boats. Big Boobs on Boats is a whole different story.

In other news, Tesla has her driver’s license after completing all necessary requirements and passing on her first try. The car her dad “surprised” her with for Christmas (that she has to pay for) is sitting in his driveway. She can’t drive it unless he’s with her because he doesn’t feel she’s ready yet. But, if I want to put insurance that covers her on the Volvo we bought her, he doesn’t care if she drives it to his house. Yeah, you read that right.

Also, Tesla started reading my old blog posts and has encouraged me to work on writing my book. We had a long conversation and I told her sensitive things that I have never blogged about because I didn’t want her to hear about them for the first time reading my blog.

As times passes, things get foggy. I am thankful I have all my blog posts and boxes, yes boxes, of paper notes. I’m going to need memory joggers.

Lastly, Matt is living with Brian’s parents. He won’t be moving back into our home.

I’m heading to bed. It’s been a day of disappointment, pain, aggravation and emotional hurt. I’m done.

Tomorrow is a fresh day,


TikTok looner

I choose to let my weird show, so others know it’s ok.


I started a TikTok channel, and a friend said, “if you want to post and get followers, do your balloon videos.”

Driving men wild, one toe at a time.

I’ve been posting videos on YouTube almost as long as I’ve been blogging, 11 years blogging and 9 years on YouTube. I’ve been on TikTok since September 2021, and currently have about 3500 followers, which grows by the hour. My friends are taking interest in my balloon fetish. Many have come over and hang out, playing with balloons because….IT’S FUN! We have a fantastic time and it’s not weird for anyone. Some have entered Pattie’s Balloon Studio skeptical, but they all leave loon lovers. My husband isn’t into being on camera, so he usually my camera man. Lucky guy. 😉

Suntan feets

I started going live on TikTok. In fact, I’m going to live again soon. I’m currently in TikTok jail for 2 days for violating community standards one too many times, within a certain timeframe. That is a bunch of crap, but whatever. I can’t help it I’m sexy. The violations were posts, not me saying or doing something that was reported. TikTok is a time wasteland (I’ve been sucked into), and it’s crazy what people will report as a violation, but two seconds later, a picture of a hot 24 year old will stream by topless, and that’s ART.

WELL, I’m ART too, with my balloons. Ask thousands of looners and feet lovers. I have the cutest (and I’m told sexiest) feet ever with or without nylons.

Who doesn’t love silk thigh highs?

Worthy of TikTok jail, as I now known.



Living through a pandemic. All of us.

Would have never thought I would experience something, like this illness, that is having such a tremendous impact on the world. I’m sick, again. Already had Covid in October 2020, after returning from a 50th birthday trip to Las Vegas. I jumped off the Stratosphere, zipped lined over Freemont Street and picked up Covid. Happy 50th to me.

I’ve been vaccinated, and had my booster. I know, I’m one of the lucky ones that is not real sick. And, I am not as sick as I was the first time around. (so far, anyway) Compared to others, I’m doing great. There are several people I know that are sick, or got sick, and were not vaccinated. My brother is one of them. Now he’s willing to get vaccinated after his waiting period.

Some of those people I knew, did not survive. It breaks my heart.

I had to insist my daughter get vaccinated. Her father felt the opposite.

She’s been off school after a positive test, and though she could return today, according to CDC guidelines, I did not send her. She was up and ready to leave for school, but her father did not want her returning to his house for his week, because he didn’t want Covid coming right through the door. (Neither did I, but she didn’t know she had it when she came home.) I didn’t speak to him about it, but I kept her home. If he doesn’t feel safe having her go to his house, then I am not sending her to school with all those students and staff. Nothing to discuss. I feel we need to protect each other more.

When is the end for Covid? Remember the 24hr flu? Now, it’s the 365 day flu.

With no end in sight.


Eat them normal, you freak.

I just screamed at my husband to get the fuck out of my art room. He’s walking around, eating peanut butter filled pretzels, but he can’t eat one like a normal person. He has to bite one end, then try to suck the peanut butter out. I suppose it’s his version of splitting an Oreo and eating out the creamy center, but it’s my version of hell. I don’t want the crumbs, crunching or sucking noises in my room while I’m trying to write! He’s lucky he’s cute.

What I really wanted to blog about is why it’s December 14th, and I haven’t even brought the Christmas decorations down from the attic. (or had someone go for me!) Last year, I had my tree up before Thanksgiving. I was bored, and hadn’t left home in ages. The lockdown of 2020. The slowest year of my life, which was followed by the quickest, 2021.

Anyone else feel like 2021 flew by in a desperate attempt to put 2020 as far in the past as possible? And now, here we are 11 days from Christmas. Once Christmas day comes and goes, also at lightening speed, the New Year will arrive. I don’t think I’m going to drag all the decorations downstairs. I just don’t have the motivation to open all those boxes, knowing I have to take all that shit down next year. See, I’m actually PLANNING ahead. I’ll just stick to buying a live, potted tree that we will plant in the spring. It can only be in the house about a week, so tomorrow, we tree shop.

After a very simple post on Facebook that I’m Grinchy, I’ve learned I am not alone. Many of my friends have no tree or decorations.

Hey, we’re all planning ahead.


Trapped by a Hygienist

A Dental Experience.

How I felt. Credit Deviant Art

As I was brushing my teeth this morning, I could feel my electric toothbrush losing it’s spin strength. If you’ve never used an electric toothbrush (wft you waiting for?), when the batteries are fresh, it’s like using a power tool to clean your teeth, a plastic brush, rather then a wire wheel. Some peeps might need that wire wheel though.

The last two trips I went for my semi-annual cleaning, I had the same hygienist. Don’t get me wrong, she’s super nice. She is just gifted with gab. While I was in the chair, mouth hanging open, head tilted appropriately, she told me all about her niece. I didn’t have much to reply to. It was pretty one-sided with fingers and tools in my mouth.

What I did find annoying is she would stop working, to speak. I wanted her to speak and work, so this would just be over asap. When she stopped talking, I guess I was expected to say something, but I didn’t always know how to respond, because I had begun listening to the client and hygienist in the next room.

Their conversation was much more interesting as the patient was telling how she had lived in a commune (sounded cult like) and how she hadn’t seen to a dentist back then. I don’t know how the hygienist was even getting this ladies teeth clean, she talked so much. I strained my ears to hear over my chatty tooth scraper, to hear stories of commune living. It was an escape, but only in my head, not my body.

I was trapped by my hygienist, and the one next door, was trapped by her patient. Until that dental floss goes through my teeth and I’m told the dentist will be in shortly, I am stuck in an uncomfortable position, with a strangers fingers in my mouth, poking, prodding, and scrapping. The process should go quickly, and stories do not need shared.

When she was finally done, I could barely contain my excitement. The dentist came in next and gave my teeth a clean bill of health. I was ready to roll. Except, my hygienist was now busy talking to her co-workers and had not gone to get my teeth whitener. I had to wait another 10 minutes, even though I asked her twice. Once before she cleaned my teeth and once after.

It must have slipped her mind in the seconds, after she left the room and began speaking to someone else.

I’m glad I only need to torture myself with this twice a year.

Here’s to pearly bright whites!!


Snow Day

I had a hard time getting up the short drive last night. Schools are closed, but I have work today.

I have so many homeless clients. I hope they are at least indoors with the temperatures below 0° with the wind chill.

Stay warm,


A Day of Awesomeness

Today was just awesome. My husband was baptized AND my daughter Tesla. That’s right, a twofer today, in Heaven. You know there’s a celebration going on as two more believers shared their stories of accepting Jesus as their personal savior. This year our church has had 109 come forward to be baptized. That is God working there.

The day wasn’t without drama. Tesla mentioned to her father the night before that she was getting baptized today. So this morning John called and asked Tesla if she wanted him to come along. She said yes. I know this isn’t very Christian of me, but I didn’t want to have to deal with him. Hey, I’m still working on controlling my anger towards her father. Especially now that he’s divorcing yet again and already has made a dating ad online.

His soon-to-be ex talks to me. He knows it. What’s he going to say? We can’t talk? I guess I’m her listening ear through the process. I get that.

The situation just has me sick. I tell her she will get through it and come out for the better. If I can survive and have to continue to interact with him because of Tesla, she can get through it. She has her grandson and a good job and car that she can afford. I didn’t have any of that and I came through. God, family and friends and readers who read my story, followed my life through the tough times and now the good.

I got through those toughest times by leaning on God. I prayed SO much. Sometimes I wondered if I was just wasting sleeping time. The struggle was REAL. Realizing my bad choices, my lack of ability to stand up for myself, giving into demands I shouldn’t have. It’s easy to get down on yourself. Beat yourself up over the past. Don’t fall for that. Focus on the now.

Being an example to Tesla is important to me. I try so hard to not let the issues I have become Tesla’s. She looks up to me. She knows God, Jesus and church are important to me and so, they are important to her.

I am so thankful Tesla has realized her faith so young and proud of her to come forward and tell everyone. And, I’m so thankful for my wonderful husband sharing his story. This has been a fantastic day in the name of God. We had a little celebration at home after the baptism with our family and friends and our neighbors came over and shared lunch with us. We told them about the baptism and it was awesome. Invited them to church in the future…see how that works…

Now my thoughts are focused on decorating for Christmas. I can only tackle one event/holiday at a time.

Tesla was happy her dad came to see her get baptized. I was happy there was no drama.

God is Always Good,


How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)

Read this…it makes so much sense!

I’m taking notes in bed

I woke up in the middle of the night, slightly alarmed by the fact that aliens were trying to contact me while I waded through the Susquehanna River. I found the way they spoke to me in my head amazing and I was really pumped that they chose me to communicate with. I realized it was a dream since the metal plate in my head would actually prohibit alien communication through thought invasion, but as a dream, it was a winner.

Now it’s just a slight memory and I’m angry I didn’t have a notebook, recorder or even my phone by the bed to make a few notes because that dream was great and I could have used it as a springboard for writing material. I remember in my half awake, half asleep fog that it was note-worthy, sadly I drifted back off and didn’t write a single note and I can’t remember exactly how things went down in the dream. Why must dreams be so fleeting?

I swear, tonight, I will have a notebook/recorder/phone. I think just having my camera beside the bed and turning on the video recorder is the best idea. (Strictly to record my dream memories, let’s not go elsewhere with that.)

I start my new job Monday!!!

I was kidding about the metal plate,

Graduating 25 years after high school


When I started York College of Pennsylvania four years ago, graduation in 2014 seemed like an eternity away. Now I feel like my four years at YCP flew by. I’ve had the most amazing experience going to college as an adult rather than right out of high school. I believe attending as an adult made me try much harder to achieve a high GPA and I truly believe my dedication to making high grades kept my mind off the fact that I was struggling to get through a long, ugly divorce process lasting six years. Now, to my delight, both have come to an end. I finished my last college course last week and the week before my divorce was finalized! Now I can focus on writing my story about life lived with a narcissist. This blog has followed the process of divorce, the book will be about what life was like. I’m not looking to villainize my ex or portray myself as a helpless victim. I will write this book so that others know the signs, and possibly, I can help one person realize the traits of a narcissist before they say “I do.”

The title of my future book I Used to Drive a Mercedes.

For now I drive a 1992 Honda Accord and celebrate having a wonderful man in my life and an earned degree.

The worst is over,



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