I miss her smile

I can’t describe the pain I feel with a week passing by and not seeing my daughter.  Making it even more painful is the fact that any day over the past week, I could have seen her.

I miss her silly smile, her songs and storys.  She likes to make up a story and really get me going then say “I’m only kidding!” which is cute right?!  Well, not so much the other night when she told me Bria bit her.  She went on and on about it then suddenly said she was kidding.  Was she kidding?  I really don’t know.

This afternoon on the phone, Tesla told me I could come get her tomorrow and we would make cupcakes at the house.  I said “Really? Your dad said that?” and she replied, “No, Heather did.”  Instantly in the background I could hear Heather saying, “I didn’t say that Tesla.”  That glimmer of hope was quickly extinquished.

Imagine your child, at the age of 5 asking when she can come home again and you have to tell her it will be another week.  I did reassure her that I will see her tomorrow at dance class and that seemed to soothe her.  Without even seeing her in person or talking to her privately, I can tell she knows what’s holding her back from seeing her mother.  Everyone can see it but that person themself.

She told me she missed me.  I told her I missed her.  We sang four songs and I told her to call me before bed.

She never called.

~P.