Dear John XI

waste of $

Dear John,

I usually have something to say when I see you, but since I can’t always say it, I write it.

It irked me to see you scratching off lottery tickets when I came back out to the truck to give Tesla the dollar she earned helping around the house.  That was just a mild irk compared to how much Heather irked me later.

I’m sorry you arrived early to get Tesla and had to wait for her while she finished eating dinner.  It’s rare that she eats dinner at home when it’s your day to pick her up.  Friday nights dinner was special for her.  She and I went grocery shopping the day before and she helped pick out the groceries.  Two of her choices were fresh corn and cantaloupe.  While we were still in the store on Thursday, she husked the corn and bagged it.  As you know, her kindergarten orientation was that night so we didn’t have time to make dinner together.

Friday she was very excited to wash the corn and make it for dinner.  She was very hungry and I didn’t even give a thought to telling her we couldn’t cook dinner together.  Tesla ate four chicken nuggets, an ear of corn, a large helping of chicken alfredo and cantaloupe for desert.  Dale, Tesla and I had a very nice dinner even though I had to rush Tess a bit because you were outside waiting….scratching those lottery tickets.

The BIG irk of my evening was the text I received from you at 7:52 PM.

Can you please not feed Tesla on my nights we want to eat as a family.

Hmmm John, that’s what we were doing also.  Like I said, it’s rare I make dinner for her and I (and now Dale) on nights you pick her up.  My response back:

So did we.  Sorry.

Now I thought that would be the end of the text messaging but I was wrong.  Next came this:

Well on your night that would be nice for you all but please be respectful of our time and not make things hard on Tesla that has to sit at a table while everyone else eats…it’s not fair to her.  We will be respect ur time please respect ours.  Heather

Again with the girlfriend texting me?  Why do I have to get texts from your girlfriend about Tesla and respect?  My response:

Omg chill…I’m sorry.

Now this time I was certain I wouldn’t hear back from her and I was really trying hard not to lose my patience with a woman who has the nerve to request I not eat a special meal with my child the last day I have her before school starts.  Heather read my patience as showing an understanding of her need to sit everyone down for dinner.  I suppose you all use the dining room, now that it can be filled up properly.

Thanks for understanding….please feel free to come Monday.  Bus picks up at 7:25.  We will be out taking pictures around 7:10.

Actually Heather, I don’t understand.  There are so many levels of not understanding where the hell you are coming from that it just blows my mind you would even mention that I shouldn’t feed my daughter when she’s hungry and at home with her mother.  My response:

I don’t get the big blow up over dinner…nor her having to sit like it’s punishment….but I do appreciate seeing my child off to school her first day.

It really sucks having to get permission to see my daughter off to school.  You had texted me right after picking up Tesla that I could come Monday and to be there by 8:25.  Was that a text typo John?  Or did you really want me to show up an hour late just to hear you say I missed the bus?

It’s not a punishment but we r a family and act like one….and it’s not a blow up, just a request.

I don’t know John….seems like more that just a request.  Kinda came off as rude and belittling Tesla and I as being and acting like a family.  Just because you have 7 and up until recently, it’s just been Tesla and I doesn’t mean your new family outranks mine.  My response to Heather:

I don’t get why this is coming from you either.

Why do I continue to get texts from Heather from your phone?  You had something to say and you did.  It should have ended there.  Actually, I think it was uncalled for to even text me not to feed Tesla on the nights you pick her up.  Especially since I’ve never made a habit of doing so.  Friday’s dinner was special for Tesla, can I get some respect concerning that?  She ate a good meal and enjoyed preparing it with me.  Get over yourself.  Tell your woman to get over herself.  Stop trying to control my time with my child.

Heather’s final text was “goodnight” and my response was “Amen” and that wrapped up our texting for the night.  I view it all as making a mountain out of a mole hill.  I’m stressed out enough by all your bullshit with this custody and divorce nightmare.  I really don’t want to hear whining about family meals.

I appreciate the invitation to see Tesla off to school and I will be there with my camera.  I’m saving the text message granting me permission just in case you call the police and try to have me arrested.  You tricked me once like that and I don’t want another repeat of Tesla seeing the police come because you want me taken away in handcuffs.  Think about your actions and how they affect your child.

I suppose you didn’t win big on the lottery tickets.  Remember, if you do, half of it goes to your wife.

Keep on scratching,





  1. Heather has no right to text Pattie about anything concerning tesla ! She needs to worry about her own kids. And in my opinion eating as a family — well she was eating with her family her mom and eating dinner at her dads is dinner with family if it is her and her dad. Heather and her kids are NOT family ! Just because they live in the delauter family house doesn’t mean they are family they are NOT delauters ! And will never be if john doesn’t divorce Pattie. Duh.
    Yes Pattie keep the text I remember when he tricked u before. Have a great first school tesla. Pattie please tell her I said that I know she can not read this. Lol

    • Honestly, I don’t have a problem with Heather and her children being considered Tesla’s family. I just don’t think Heather needs to be texting me about something so silly. I appreciate that she has a second home where dinners are served. i don’t appreciate being asked not to feed Tesla if she is hungry.

      I will tell Tesla 😉

  2. This woman needs to have her head examined. She is obviously become a tyrant because in her eyes you are not an adequate mother. This woman, who can barely spell, is not a role model for children much less capable of parenting an individual. I can see this woman controlling all of her children to believe the way she wants them to. Everything revolves around the need for a man in her life to validate herself. I would fight for custody of Tesla if I were you. Pattie, aren’t you glad that you aren’t with him anymore?

    • Yes, I am glad. He broke my heart. If he and Heather can be happy together, I am happy for them. I’m not a hateful, mean person….I just lived with one and now have to fight fire with fire. My life will stop revolving around all this drama when the divorce is final. I barely have contact with John or Heather but they always seem to have something to say to me. I can’t even pick up Tesla without one or both or even the entire household coming to my car. Heather’s kids are really sweet though and I hope their lives aren’t turned upside down like Tesla and my life was. (Or Diane and Todd, Tammy and her kids, Kelly and kids…)

      • Anonymous says:

        I would think if you aren’t allowed down at the house then they should not be allowed to come to your vehicle. Tesla should be brought to the vehicle by John alone. Very few words should be spoken and you should be allowed to be on your way. If it gets to be too much ask to have it changed to a neutral place such as the McDonald’s parking lot.

      • 100% agree. thank you. If a judge allows custody to remain 50/50, a half way meeting area would be better. Actually half way now would be even betterer…LOL Monday in court will probably accomplish NOTHING as usual. ~P,

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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