Tear Control

I hate crying.  I think of myself as a tough chick who can handle whatever life throws at me.  This week has been incredibly hard.

Back pain like I have never had before.

Heather making stupid accusations of why John and I split up. (Fueled by John)

John managing to get a judge to side with him even though he has a bad attitude.

Going to Tesla’s orientation at one of the oldest school in York County.

Trying to explain to Tesla that today may very well be her last day at daycare.

Calling Wallace school and telling them Tesla is enrolled at Eastern.

It is breaking my heart that my daughter isn’t going to school from our address.  She became very attached to her friends at daycare and this is her last day to see them.  Monday is yet another custody hearing.  I am glad I get another chance to plead my case and I hope it makes a difference.  This Monday is just a preliminary hearing, so another court date is in the future.  Meanwhile, I will spend my day periodically crying.

Tesla and I don’t deserve this.  She should be with her mother.  I am the one who devotes my time to her.  I don’t run a business anymore.  I don’t play softball or bowl.  I don’t run out at the drop of a hat to give an estimate or visit a job site.  I especially don’t focus on having someone (anyone) in my life so I don’t feel alone.  With Tesla by my side, I am never alone.  She is my number one and together her and I would focus on our school work.

My only consolation is IF her father does get majority custody, I am certain when Tesla is of age, she will choose to be with her mother.

I also figure in this…the divorce factor.  John can’t always be lucky enough to have things work in his favor.

Tough chicks cry,




  1. Another Anonymous Friend says:

    What really sucks for you is that if John gets majority custody of Tesla when he does have to run out at the drop of a hat to make estimates, etc. she will be left with someone other than her mother! The whole point of custody is that the person is spending as much time with their child as possible. It isn’t so they are babysat by some livin new girlfriend/ fiance. Did Heather ever think that one of the reasons she was moved into the house so quickly was so she would be available to babysit anytime!? It isn’t like John is going to drop Tesla off to be with you every time he goes out to a job….she will be left with a babysitter/girlfriend/fiance.

    I hope you do win custody of Tesla.

    • Heather is clueless to how John is. I don’t even bother to say anything. If he doesn’t have a woman around to watch Tesla he lets her with the secretary. Sometimes they let all 5 kids with the secretary!

      thank you….It will be an uphill battle but I will at least try.

  2. I am pulling for you to get custody, Pattie. Crying is a release sometimes.

  3. Well I was in your situation not to long ago, I pitteioned the court for 50/50 custody, but the ex wanted full custody. Went in front of the judge for an interim order, as my ex would not let me see my son since I started court proceding. Well, the first thing the judge asked was what do you want and why. I told him, then he asked the ex why she didn’t agree. She made up some BS and the judge saw right through it and basically agrued with her on my behalf until she finally agreed to everything I asked for. What was meant to be an interim court date actually ended up being the final court date. I wish you best of luck, and hope you have a fair judge.As far as your job goes, screw them if they can’t allow you time to take care of your family affairs. If you have to find another job then do it. No job is worth putting it before you family. Most parents have to work, so I seriosly doubt the judge will hold that against you. Good luck.

  4. Whatever you do, things to not do are talk in any way bad about the father, the judge will not look good on this. How old is your daughter? I wouldn’t say you want just visitations, why does the other parent think that just because one parent took the kid, that they can’t get custody? If you have been the sole provider, you have a stable job, a stable home, you have a very good chance of taking her. I would ask to be the custodial parent (the one with whom the child lives with.) If you aren’t able to be custodial parent, ask for half the year with him. You just go down the line from there, like okay if you can’t have her half year, you want holidays, weekends, summer etc. Don’t ask for the lowest of what you want, go above it.

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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