Dear John~Selfish as always

Letters he nevers learns from

Letters he never learns from

Dear John,

Why do you have to be so damn selfish?  Our child is not property.  You have had Tesla for the past 3 weekends and yes, you allowed me to spend more than the 24 hours the custody order grants over Christmas.  I suppose you are looking for accolades.  Sorry, not going to get them from me.

Even after you know how sick I was in the hospital and how little time Tesla and I had together, you still want to throw in my face that you are following the custody order to the T.  You love being the enforcer but what are you really enforcing?  Some bullshit custody order that greatly restricts Tesla’s visitation with me without your approval.  You eat that shit up.

Here is what your downfall will be:

1.  Your need to be in control of everything.

2.  Your need to make yourself the most important person in the room.

3.  Your desire to withhold your only child from her mother for no sound reason.

4.  Your lack of moving forward with our divorce.

5.  Your endless disregard for Tesla’s wishes.

It will all come back to bite you in the ass, as it should.  After almost dying once again at a hospital, I would think you would realize just how short life can be.

All I asked is if I could see Tesla a few hours and you said no.  You don’t care how much I miss her, especially after a near death experience.  You don’t care how much Tesla misses me.

While I can’t read your mind I can take a guess at what you thought.

“Damn, if only the bitch had died my life would be so much easier.”

The world didn’t end and I’m not dead.

Chalk two up for me.


P.S.  Has lightning ever struck Chapel Church or don’t you attend with Heather, Tesla and crew?

P.S.S.  The bigger you are, the harder you fall.  Try not to create a crater.

P.S.S.S.  I checked the mortgage today.  It’s about $8k in the arrears.  Will Heather be taking out another student loan to catch things up?



  1. Dear Patti,
    I hear your pain and frustration. Nothing has the ability to hurt us more than to feel our children are mistreated or to be prevented from seeing them. It does appear that John is disrespecting you. You seem to be experiencing righteous anger. You do need a place to vent. Who does you anger hurt? I don’t know John, but from your blog, I would guess he thinks this is funny. He is going on with his “by the books” life. He might even get a thrill out of irritating you. Again I ask. Who does your anger hurt? It hurts you. Then, it is possible that your angry attitude hurts your daughter. I agree. Find a place to vent, a counselor, a friend, a family member. Then, let it go. Forgive, again and again and again. Not for John, but for yourself and for Tesla. If you find that you just can’t let go, ask God to take it from you. He will, if you are willing to let it go. You will feel so free when you do. I hope you understand that I am saying these things to help up. Hey, maybe you could see it as heaping hot coals on John’s head. As long as you are angry with him, he is in control.

    • Jean,
      I am having difficulties breaking out of the depression cycle. The stress of a endless divorce doesn’t help. I do my best and take each day in faith. Thank you for your comment.
      God Bless,

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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