Dear John~It is NOT about you

Dear John,

I realize you probably like when I cry.  Makes you feel good.  I realize as much as you tell me you don’t read my blog, you most likely do.  You tell me you just have to hear about it from 5 to 10 people.  In reality that narrows it down to 1.  You are known for your exaggerations.  (Sorry to hear you’re not getting laid-you’ll remedy that)

You keep bringing up the past, while I push for the present.  You claim I hurt you in the past, that I didn’t want to spend time with our daughter, that I was a drug addict, that I spent money wildly.  Seriously, even if it were 100% true, what does any of that have to do with now?  Our past is OVER and I have moved on.  I realize you have not and you are waiting for me to say I was the one who caused our break-up.  That will never happen.

Tonight you asked if I thought you were stupid.  Well, I do think you are stupid but not due to the reason you asked.  You seem to believe if you let Tesla spend time with me, I will file for custody.  I can file whether you let her spend time with me outside the custody order or not.  It’s not about what you want, it’s about what she wants.  I know you listen to our conversations and hear her counting off how many days until she is with me.  I’m not putting that into her head, she puts it into mine.  I don’t ask her if she wants to live with me, she tells me every chance she gets.  It’s not that she doesn’t love her father, she just wants to live with her mother.

You bring up how you were married for 18 years.  Please -spare me, it’s already come out in court that you easily broke your marriage of 18 years to have a chance to be a father.  I seriously believed you loved me and I was special.

Call me naivete or just plain stupid.  I accept either.


Why do I blog about my life?  To get me through it.  I have a super supportive man in my life, unlike the past.


  1. the older son says:

    John if u read this and don’t get anything out of it u must be stupid. I don’t understand y u won’t let mom c tesla.. its not like my mom wants her all to herself. She would be grateful to be able to c her more then the few chances she does.. my mom just wants it all to end between u guys and let it be about tesla. I don’t know where heather gets off as supermom but she’s not me and Tesla’s mom. She has no say in this at all. U need to get ur head out of ur own ass and get this shit settled in court.. and this is man to man, not a pissed off younger guy to an asshole. I’m beggin u to end this drama between our familys and start listening to the single child stuck in the middle. I bet my mom would let everything go between u 2 if you could let tesla have her way. I understand she is young but she is obviously smart. She wants what she wants and u could call my mother a horrible mom if she woulda walked out or said I don’t want tesla, but its not like that. I see that my mom is fighting hard to be able to see my sister more. And ur just sayin fuck it. Heather isn’t her mother, patricia delauter (crider..) is. I’m just sayin help urself out of the situation and help my sister with her wishes.. ~j

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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