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Here’s your chance.  What do you want me to write about?  Fiction (ToadLicker), non-fiction (Beaver Hole)…..school stories The Spartan stuff, divorce (ughh drama), kid story (Telsa stuff), embarrassing friend stories (Spanish, art, Weiners??  short-stories, adult stories/poems, my own bizarre twisted thoughts without proof reading?

You tell me and I will write.  Or send me a question to answer.  Or a “first line of a story”

Hit me…I’m feeling creative.  Will credit suggestions unless you want to be unknown.  Why is that?

I may regret this,

~P.

 

Blue in the face

A self portrait of pain

I’ve been holding my breath for so long.

My skin is shades of blue.

One eye always watching.

My mole now black.

One ear is listening.

My lips sewn shut.

Laced by hemp.

I strain against the binding.

Opening my lips to free the pain.

My head now cleared.

I nurture the thoughts that caused the pain.

My ear is open, my eye never blinks.

I can’t be silenced.

So in my head, I will hold the problem, but no solution.

A copy of your birthday blog.

Sorry it hurt your feelings.

Sorry you feel the need to take me to court over it.

Sorry it was just a picture and I hadn’t actually baked it.

Sorry I didn’t share birthday cake with Tesla on your birthday. 

Sorry it never freaking occurred to me to bake a cake, for your birthday.

It did occur to me to write you a birthday blog.

It didn’t turn out exactly how I planned it.

But it has inspired me artistically.

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http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/04/27/happy-birthday-john/

Clay, acrylic paint 10/19/2011  NFS

ROFLMAO,

~P.

Dear John Waaah!

Dear John,

Hey thanks for calling and trying to put me on a guilt trip.  I am so sorry I can’t find Tesla’s dance outfit.  I will look for it as soon as I’m typing this little letter to you; my husband of 6 freaking years now.

So you’re pissed about the 2010 taxes again.  Funny how that payment came to me from your tax returns to catch you up on your arrears.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/09/02/that-bonus-check/  Now you want me to revise my 2010 taxes?  It is not written in the custody agreement who claims Tesla what years until the most recent document which was decreed after I filed my taxes.

You want me to revise them? Take it up with the government.  Explain to the state that you are pissed because you would have gotten more money back.  I didn’t get much money from the government or from you.   You have moved on in life so get over it.

Don’t whine that you can only afford ONE dance outfit for Tesla.  If that’s the case than maybe you should rethink dance classes.  You and Heather spend money right and left.  You will never be able to stop spending money until you are out of it.

Thanks for hanging up on me.  Had you let me finish I would have said, “Tesla’s lunches are now free so stop hounding me for the $1.90 a day.  The state is now paying for her lunches, along with her health insurance, therapist appointments and food for our home.”  You wrecked our life together, not me.  Make up all the excuses you want, tell your story the way you want.  Sorry, you dumped me.

Over it,

~P.

You’re on camera

Not a phone

I now have a Kodak weather resistant, high def video camera. (on loan to me)  From this point on, whenever an exchange of Tesla is taking place I will have this camera on record.  I realize this shouldn’t be necessary but I’ve found irrational behavior to be problematic during child exchange times.

Now I know recording someone without their knowledge is illegal.  This is basically to let Heather and John know I will have the video camera with me at all times.  If conversation is needed, it will be recorded.  It’s no secret that John and Heather read my blog daily, but to be on the safe side I will verbally inform John that I am carrying a video camera.

John has had some bad experiences with being caught on tape.

Bummer dude,

~P.

Smooth, Warm and Fuzzy

Let us all rejoice!!!

Today, the drop off and pick up of Tesla went without incident!

John wasn’t home this morning when I dropped Tesla off.  He had left at 7 a.m. to work on a moving job.  Tesla hopped out of the back of the car after giving me a kiss and hug.  Yes, the BACK seat of the car.  She begrudgingly sat in the rear after I told her it was a matter of her safety.  There was no signs of Heather outside and I was thrilled.

The pickup was just as smooth.  Heather wasn’t home that I could tell.  Tesla came out and immediately wanted to sit in the front.  John started in with “you have to sit in the back” before I could even get a word out.  I sent Tesla back into the house for her book bag.  I’m not sure why I have to ASK for her book bag, but I think it’s important that I get to look at the contents as John and Heather do.

Tesla and I stopped at Rutter’s to see her brother, Jarrid.  I got my birthday hug from Jarrid and he quizzed me on how school was going.  I find that very amusing.  I ran back out to the car and grabbed the two most recent issues of The Spartan.  He was proud of me for making the front page on both editions.  It makes me warm and fuzzy inside that my son is proud of me.

Now Tesla and I are kicked back on Dale’s couch.  Contrary to Heather’s beliefs, Dale has moved in and brought all his possessions with him.  Tesla and I have comforts now that we didn’t have before, such as a washer and dryer and a couch.  I went from having a camper mattress on the floor to having a KING SIZE bed again.  Heather sleeps on my old king size bed now.  Hope she doesn’t mind all that DNA that’s been left behind, obviously not all by me.

Well, my Spanish tutor has arrived and Tesla has a play date with Amanta.

Adios,

~P.

 

 

I love my dog, you Heather…not so much

Heather, you get on my nerves. Thank God I am experienced at blocking out the annoying people.  I started practicing that in middle school, actively blocking out my father’s constant barking.

I don’t understand why you have to keep butting into my business.  If I’m not doing something correctly, the ONLY person who should say anything to me is my husband.  You know, that man you live with.  Have you become his mouth piece?  Anyone who knows John will vouch that he is a man who loves to talk.  He will blab away to anyone about anything.

So why is he all tongued-tied now?  Does he send you up to my car with instructions on what to say to me?  Do you do all the talking these days?  I know you do all the note writing as the errors make that clear.  You may actually write better than John though.  Scary thought….

Do me a favor, keep fixing up those flower beds and making my house look pretty.  That kind of stuff helps the house sell.  I’m willing to bet it’s your money being spent on this make-over.  Tammy Zech once redid the flower beds at my house.  Kelly Liek did too.  Kelly dropped about $10,000 into remodeling my house and what did she get for it?  Cheated on.  Neither the flowers or the girlfriends lastest very long.

We don’t need to speak.  If you MUST speak to me, do so when Tesla is not present.  For example, at gymnastics.  Last week you spent about half your time sitting with your daughter and the other half chatting it up with some dude.  You told him at the end of class it was nice talking to him.  I was sitting there the whole time, yet not once did you say “Pattie could we talk for a moment while the girls are practicing?”  The dude was good-looking, I agree.  I bet if John had been at gymnastics instead of playing ball, you wouldn’t have been so friendly with another man.  That is a big no-no.

Also, if you are going to call me a bitch, you should refer to me as The Bitch.

Tick Tock goes your clock,

~P.

 

Oh what a Happy Birthday

I turned 41 today.  Ying turned 3.  I’m waiting for Ying to catch up to me in age.

My day started great!  Reading comments on my blog and birthday wishes on Facebook.  Dale and I left to pick up Tesla at 11:30 AM.  We arrived to get Tesla a little bit after noon.  I was disappointed that John hadn’t bothered to dress Tesla up a little bit.  When I asked her if she had pajama pants on, Heather yelled up to the car, “They’re pants!  Not pajamas!”

Pajamas or pants?

So Tesla climbed in the front seat and I fastened her seat belt over her booster seat.  Heather came up and began to inform me that I can’t let Tesla sit in the front because it is against the law.  I honestly don’t know if it IS against the law or not.  She’s about 60 lbs and the seatbelt fits her in all the right places.  Even if I am ignorant of the law, why the hell is Heather up in my grill about it?  Didn’t she learn in Child First classes that it’s not appropriate to bitch a child’s mom out in front of them?
She also informed me that Tesla’s letters were in the birthday gift bag.  I checked it out later and it’s obvious to me that HEATHER likes to add her own comments on my daughter’s school papers.
I'm certain Tesla's teacher is NOT writing me these type of notes.

Just for the record, I never received a first copy and I know I didn’t LOSS it.

My birthday gift from Tesla was a framed picture.  She is growing up sooooo fast!!

Pretty as a Rose

Yo Gabba Gabba was awesome!  Drew and Tesla loved it.  Heck, I loved it.  Dale, well he was with us and a bit confused…

I forgot my phone when we left for the show.  John called 8 times.  I’m glad I forgot my phone.

Nobody was home,

~P.

Got skeletons?

Is your closet crowded?

Everyone has skeletons in their closet.  Some have many hiding out, hoping to never see the light of day.  Others just have a few and those skeletons wouldn’t even cause an eyebrow to be raised.

Then there are the Delauter/Crider skeletons.  I am SO ready to “write my guts out” but I can’t.  First off, I have my daughter to take into consideration.  Second, my future ex-hubby will have a complete meltdown.  I will someday write about the past, but for now I’m sticking to the present.

The present is screwed up enough to write a blog about….my readers will just have to be patient for the book.  “I used to drive a Mercedes”

I hear something knocking on the closet door…

…..lemme out!  lemme out!

~P.

Heather, are you cozy?

Dear Heather,

How are things going honey?  I get the impression, “it’s not been all that great.”

I feel for ya.  Been there, done that.  Plus all your children, each affected by you moving in with John.  My sons eventually, were just disgusted with me for trying to get things right, but not living up to John’s standards.

You feeling secure in your relationship with my husband? ‘Cause if you are, you really need to rethink that one.  Your moving into my house, with children so quickly, just shows me how little you know John.

Just what I’m thinking these days.  Words get around.

Don’t get to cozy…I know John.

Good Luck!

~P.

John’s personal property

Sunday is my birthday.  Sunday is Ying’s birthday.  Sunday will be three long years since my husband filed for divorce.  Wow…3 freaking years and I am still married and see no end in the future.  Whoever said “after 2 years you are automatically divorced” was full of shit.

With my birthday coming up, I’m reminded, I am not getting any younger.  Though, like fine wine, I am getting better.    I feel better about myself.  I think clearer.  I’ve grown smarter and wiser.  I know what I want in my life and it starts with a D.

Three years caught in the divorce process.  I’m not even talking about me, I’m talking about Tesla.  For more than half her life, her father has been putting off divorcing her mother.  Not because there’s a chance of reconciliation, but because her father hopes I fade away, leave quietly, wear down, etc.

That’s not going to happen.  Every night I say a prayer of thanks to God for granting me another day on this earth.  Life is worth living, no matter how bad things seem.

Kick me when I’m down.  Steam roll over me.  Threaten my future.  Humiliate me.  Ruin my finances.  Replace me.

Bitterman, with no hair….I never needed you, but I loved you.  I hope you can never forget that.

For my birthday, I am giving myself a gift.  A very cheap gift compared to the one’s John used to give me, but this gift makes a statement.

I had this done the night before John and I got married back in 2005.  It was supposed to be a surprise the next day.

What was I thinking?!

When I showed it to John the night before we got hitched,  because he insisted on knowing where I had been with his brother Tim…I had to show him…and he said, “Why didn’t you get a ‘John’s personal property’ tattoo?”  I knew at that moment it had been a “bad idea”.

So back to my birthday present this weekend, I want to get “Was” tattooed above it.

Thoughts?

~P.