Happy Birthday John

The perfect cake that I didn't have to bake!

Since I know I have one dedicated reader to my blog, I decided to give him a world-wide Happy Birthday wish.  

You said you worked today and I’m so sorry to hear that.  I know how much you hate going out and actually doing work on a job site.  It is so much easier to send out employees to do the dirty work.  The fact that it’s your birthday must have made it particularly rough.

I know a couple of years ago when I was super bitter I wished you would get herpes on your birthday.  I won’t wish that again as it kinda lost its punch after the first time.  At the pace you move through women, there is always the chance you may still get the gift that keeps on giving.

What does someone give you for your birthday?  In the past I always had difficulties finding the right gift.  I just didn’t know what to buy for a man who gets himself everything he wants on his own.  You liked to say our daughter was your best birthday gift ever as she was born just 3 days before your birthday.  At least I can agree with you on that one.

Well, I can’t say I have a gift for you.  You’ll just have to keep on counting Tesla as my gift from here on out.  I’m sure your latest girlfriend will have spent some money on you or at least take you out to eat now that you’re done working for the day.  I wish I could give you something special for your birthday like you did me back in 2008.  Your filing for divorce on my birthday was quite a surprise for me!  I appreciate that gift now and I’m pleased it wasn’t herpes instead.

Happy 45th Birthday John!  Maybe by Christmas we can agree on divorce as a mutual gift.

Your hopefully soon, X-wife,

Pattie

Lambda Drag Show Pics

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Slideshow of York College of PA’s Lambda Drag Show held on March 18th.

Great job contestants and for the first time ever….a tie for Queen!

Thank you host, Brian “Cookie” Holt!

~P.

Spoof Ad

taco bell always makes my buns smell

Spoof Ad for my art class

Tesla turns 5

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Tesla turned 5 on Easter Day.  We had a little party and egg hunt to celebrate.  Where does time go?  She is growing up so fast!  Then there are her brothers, who will never grow up.  Zeth wound up on the ground…the very wet, muddy ground. 🙂

~P.

What the Doctor said

Everyone loves getting an “thatta boy” or in my case, girl.  This is the letter my professor sent on my behalf for a scholarship in professional writing.  I don’t know how much the scholarship is for but any amount is helpful in paying tuition!

~P.

Dr. Travis Kurowski
441 Country Club Rd.
York, PA 17403

April 19, 2011

 To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to recommend Patricia Crider for the 2011 Carraway Scholarship.

Patricia has been more than a pleasure to have in both my Introduction to Creative Writing course this semester and as an interested, enthusiastic writer and learner on campus, who seems to be constantly working on one writing project or another. Patricia has even taken some of her student projects and began publishing online, and so doing what we hope all of our students will eventually do: taking her classroom work and testing it out in the larger world. What makes Patricia a nice addition to the creative writing classroom, is her constant, often quite insightful, commentary on her peers work.

Perhaps more to the point of this scholarship, Patricia is a motivated, intelligent writer—meaning that she is a constant reviser, always open to suggestion and critique. Many beginning writers—in an effort to perhaps prove their talent to themselves, their peers, or maybe even their professors—often have trouble taking to heart criticism and really applying it to the betterment of their writing. In my experience in the classroom, and at our writer-in-residence workshop this past month, Patricia has taken criticism from other writers and applied it to the betterment of her work—such as the use of specific, concrete images (and the right ones at that) to tell her story, allowing us to more fully imagine her world, which is what we want from our writers in the end.

Sincerely,

Dr. Travis Kurowski

The hold up

No, I haven’t held up a bank, or Rutters, or Exxon in desperation. Instead I found out what the hold up is at the courthouse. Apparently, after John and I both signed the consent for divorce, they closed the case. Now why close a divorce case when it obviously ISN’T closed. John may have known this and was content to let things continue on as I had no clue York County Courthouse wasn’t going to pursue the division of maritial property. Fortunately for me, I have a kick ass attorney who is on top of things now. After letting John’s new young lawyer know she need to check into John’s lame ass contempt charges before joining him on his campaign to ruin my life. Things will be rock and rolling soon and it’s about freaking time!!! Sadly our daughter turns 5 this Sunday and half her life has been during the process of John saying he wants a divorce. I think he wants to just stay married now that his child support and alimony is down to less than 400 a month. Of course the state takes a portion of that right off the top. I have no problem with a judge telling me what steps will be taken with the maritial residence, maritial goods and business. I’d rather hear it from a judge than be told by my backstabbing husband what he wants done. F that! He’s screwed up enough in my life and for that matter all the other women he’s screwed since. Might as well put out a red light on the goddamn porch. I predict, if this happens soon enough, the house will be put up for sale. If not soon, it will be foreclosed on. So in the long run, did filing for divorce really get you want you wanted? I think not!!!

Liberal Education

York College offers a diverse course selection.  How diverse?  Here’s my schedule:

SUMMER

Critical Thinking and Problem Solving (Math)

If only this class could help me solve the problem of still being married.

Elementary Spanish

I’ll be able to curse like a sailor and it will sound SEXY!

Recreational Shooting

Pistols, shotguns and rifles….Hells Yeah!  A country girl’s dream class!!!!!!

 

FALL

Spanish II

Maybe I’ll start dreaming in Spanish…

History of Terrorism

I can’t imagine this class will be boring.

Terror in Literature

Should prepare me for writing a novel about my life.

Religious Cults and Alien Theory

Hot Damn, I love this college!!

Square Dancing

No, I will not be wearing plaid and cowboy boots.

Sculpture Art

Perhaps a sculpture of aliens terrorizing earth with rifles, shotguns and pistols while singing the Beer Barrel Polka in Spanish.   🙂

~P. 

The Conewago Floods

Tesla, Suz, Zeth and I drove to the Conewago Creek to check out the flood situation.  We confirm; it flooded.  🙂  Pictures are from Kunkle’s Mill Bridge (the little calf houses floated down the road, someone’s dock drifted by)  Boring Bridge Road (my Redneck Art stop sign blew over) and Beaver Hole Bridge or as my daughter calls it “Our Bridge” because we love it there! 

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Cut your hair, show you care event

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York College of PA’s SIFE team (Students in Free Enterprise) held a fundraiser for Relay for Life cancer research on April 17th.  Held on Jackson Street in York, people gathered outside eating, playing games, tie-dying t-shirts and listening to music.  Inside, The Dollhouse Salon employee’s gave haircuts with all proceeds going to Relay for Life.  The event was a success and at the last count prior to leaving, 9 people had their locks trimmed.   If you didn’t stop by you missed out on all the food, fun and the chance to tame your unruly hair.

I took my sister Suz, son Zeth and daughter Tesla and we all had a blast.  Hope you enjoy the pictures and GREAT JOB SIFE!!

~P.

Duh Ying

 

       My mom made beef vegetable soup today and it was delicious.  I set my half eaten bowl of soup down and went up stairs to get a drink.  While pouring my ice-cold glass of milk I heard Ying begin to yelp.  Immediately I knew he was in pain and I bolted downstairs.  Tesla was still downstairs playing with her Dora the Explorer cards.  When I reached the bottom of the steps I said “What did you do to hurt Ying?!”  She responded with her eyes wide open, “It wasn’t me, he tried to eat your soup!”  I had set the soup bowl on top of the pellet stove to keep it warm.  Little to warm for the paws eh?   Duh Ying!!   ~p.