Happy Birthday John

The perfect cake that I didn't have to bake!

Since I know I have one dedicated reader to my blog, I decided to give him a world-wide Happy Birthday wish.  

You said you worked today and I’m so sorry to hear that.  I know how much you hate going out and actually doing work on a job site.  It is so much easier to send out employees to do the dirty work.  The fact that it’s your birthday must have made it particularly rough.

I know a couple of years ago when I was super bitter I wished you would get herpes on your birthday.  I won’t wish that again as it kinda lost its punch after the first time.  At the pace you move through women, there is always the chance you may still get the gift that keeps on giving.

What does someone give you for your birthday?  In the past I always had difficulties finding the right gift.  I just didn’t know what to buy for a man who gets himself everything he wants on his own.  You liked to say our daughter was your best birthday gift ever as she was born just 3 days before your birthday.  At least I can agree with you on that one.

Well, I can’t say I have a gift for you.  You’ll just have to keep on counting Tesla as my gift from here on out.  I’m sure your latest girlfriend will have spent some money on you or at least take you out to eat now that you’re done working for the day.  I wish I could give you something special for your birthday like you did me back in 2008.  Your filing for divorce on my birthday was quite a surprise for me!  I appreciate that gift now and I’m pleased it wasn’t herpes instead.

Happy 45th Birthday John!  Maybe by Christmas we can agree on divorce as a mutual gift.

Your hopefully soon, X-wife,


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