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Jul 26, 2011

Dear John VI

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Drama

Dear John,

This one will be short as I’m dashing off to see my boyfriend, Dale Hollinger.  I’m sure you already have done your research, or at least had LaDonna fill you in.  Isn’t she just a great office manager?  Hopefully she is keeping the books very accurate for everyone’s sake.  Have you given her a raise since I did last?  Back in 2009?  You know she graduated top of her class and I can’t imagine she’s going to stick at the office forever.  Why would she?!

Back to me leaving my home to visit with friends; I miss Tesla.  If she were here tonight, she would get to visit my awesome friends also.  I hope you are spending quality time with Tesla in some fashion, or another.  I want Tesla to have the closeness she has with me, with you.

Our court date is approaching quickly, August 19th, I believe.  Will things get decided so Tesla can start school?  Once we can get over this hurdle, we can take the next leap over divorce.  I have to write Heather soon.  I see her so often with you and Tess.  Does she have a job?  I know how you like your women to stay in the home.

No longer caged,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: , , , ,
Jul 26, 2011

Yearbook to Facebook visits 1989: Fidler, Hoke, Zirkle and Maruski

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Reading Dover Highschool’s yearbook and remembering my awesome friends that stood by me, even if I was weird….

Finally, I have a little time to write about highschool days and the people who signed my yearbook in 1986 or .  This summer math course I’m taking at York College covers 15 weeks of material in 5 weeks.  My sister Suz says I’m crazy for taking summer courses, but I have a 98% so far!

Dawn and Goofy

So my first victim from school is Dawn Fidler who is married to Scott Wolf.   Dawn had this to say in my yearbook:

Pattie,

To a really nice gal I met in 6th grade.  Never forget the great times we had, epecially at the shore.  Keep a smile on your face and your head high.  Keep reaching for the stars!  I hope you get Greg soon!  Good luck in the future with and with that special someone!

K.I.T.

Love,

Dawn (Fool) ’89

My Bestest Friend!!

Dear Dawn,

How’s that booboo you got sledding in my grandparents driveway many years ago?  No scar I hope!

How could I ever forget all the fun times we had from 6th grade until the present?  Even after we graduated, we remained close and we are just as close today.  Isn’t that amazing?  Now about that fool you are married to…lol

We were in band together and I’m so thankful we were friends.  There were many people in band I didn’t like and tried to avoid, such as Kelly Myers, Julie Rohrbaugh and Sue Eisenhour.  They were just bitches to me back then.   Now my brother Joe is married to Kelly’s sister, Kathy.   Kelly doesn’t remember picking on me, not that I’m surprised.  Now I get to pick on her at family get togethers.

Your parents were awesome back in the 80’s.  They treated me like their own daughter, just like my parents did with you.  All those vacations we took together, sleep-overs, parties, etc.  I am blessed to have you as a friend then, and now.  Of course now, when I visit you I have to put up with your goofy husband!

Back to the yearbook, I guess I really had a thing for Greg, even if he was yanking my tanktop down.  I haven’t had much “good luck” with that special someone.  Maybe I should have held out for Greg….

Love you Dawn and Scott!

~P.

The Hokester

Next up is Mark Hoke http://www.facebook.com/mhoke1.  Mark wrote:

Pat,

To a very nice girl I met this year.  Good luck in all your future ventures.

Mark Hoke

Dear Mark,

Thank you for the good luck wishes!  Though we only met in  1986, we have become life long friends.  I can’t say I have lots of highschool memories because you were graduating while I was just starting.  The memories I have now are much better than any from school anyway.  That wacky wife of yours, Kristin Hoke http://www.facebook.com/kristin.hoke I just adore her.  When she hugs me I get lost in her ta-ta’s, you know what I’m talking about!  Sorry about crashing your live poker chat the other night.  Kristin and I didn’t mean to distract you serious poker players, but it was so damn easy!

You and Kristin are awesome friends and I adore your daughter Amanda, also known as Amanta, according to my daughter, Tesla.

Love and whipped with chocolate,

Pattie

Third on the list of friends from highschool is Floyd Scott Zirkle.

Where were the keys?

Scott wrote:

PATTIE,

To a really nice girl that I got to know this year.  Good luck in the future.

Love,

Scott

Dear Scott,

That was such a simple note in my yearbook.  I don’t know which happened first, you signed my yearbook or the day you took me back to your parents after wrestling practice and handcuffed me to a chair.  Either way, life was interesting!  You still have those handcuffs?

On a serious note, I’m glad we are still friends.  You are a sweet guy with a good heart and handsome face.  Come visit me and bring your girlfriend, who I hear reads my blog everyday!

No longer cuffed,

Pattie

Wrapping this blog up is Deanna Maruski.

Dee 1989

Deanna http://www.facebook.com/Deanna.Maruski wrote:

Patty

To a great girl I met a while back.  Remember chorus and anything else we did together.

Stay Gold,

Deanna

Dear Deanna,

Hey girl, we had lots of fun in chorus and attending those, silly formal dances in the pastel colored dresses.  Concerning the “anything else we did together” did you have a specific moment in mind when you wrote that?  LOL  Just kidding…I think I already freaked out a former classmate with this blog.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/03/01/bisexual-in-middle-school/  Whoops!

I miss my highschool friends!  Come visit me soon!

~P.

Thanks for reading my school blog….

Want to be an Upcoming Blog from Yearbook to Facebook?  Send me a message, text, email etc!!

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: classmates, Facebook, high school days · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Jul 24, 2011

Dear Dale

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Dear Dale,

You have treated my daughter and I with kindness that I would have never expected.  While you were married to my sister, Suz’s, highschool best friend, I had never met you.  Even, your cousin, Joey Keefer, was my friend and neighbor.  Was that confusing?

Joey and I chatted about you and he put in very good words for.  “It’s amazing he’s alive!” he said.  “I remember when we were kids and he was hit by that car.  He turned out to be a great guy.”

I told Joey about meeting you and how you are helping me get settled in.  He said, “That doesn’t surprise me.  Dale’s like that to people he feels close to.”

I am like that with people I care about, and I care about you very much.  You are a brave man not only for wanting to be involved in helping me with life, but wanting to be in my life.  Unfortunately, there is a rather large problem.  I can’t get divorced from John, or at least that is how it feels.  This divorce issue has been dragging my life out for too long.   http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/13/dear-john-letter/

What I can do, is show my daughter the proper way to build a relationship.  My answer to your question “if you could marry me, would you?” is yes.  I would.  That’s the great news!! 🙂   The bad news is, I actually have to wait until I’m divorced.  So while I’m waiting, and paying my rent, we have time to get to know each other.

Right now honey, you are the sweetest man I ever met and don’t get frustrated when I keep you from helping me even more.  I can do this, but I appreciate your help.  Maybe in less than a year we could move in together, we just have to be patient!

Not “John’s Good Girl” for much longer, (especially if I agree to get that covered up by your tattoo friend)

Love,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Jul 24, 2011

Dear Dad

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Walt,

You have Suz pretty upset with you today.  She said you were raising hell about Tesla visiting at the Crider household.  Does it ever occur to you that Tesla wants to see her Grandmother, aunt and cousin?  Why do you have such a problem with your only granddaughter coming to visit?  Do you hold it against her that I am her mom?  I know you and I don’t get along, but give my kid a break.  The heat got to her and she had to throw up.  Was it necessary to scream at Suz that there was to much noise for you to sleep, while Tesla barfed?  The child was SICK!  Tesla doesn’t want to talk to you because you are mean.

I find it amazing that you sat with my future ex-husband at the Revolutions Game.  You know, that night you sang the National Anthem.  Tesla missed hearing you sing, because her dad and the rest of the gang were late.  Didn’t you have anyone else to sit with?

My child hasn’t done anything to you.  If you cause your granddaughter to not like you, it’s your loss.  Just like it’s your loss your offspring don’t want to talk to you.  I guess moving FAR away will solve all the problems with having to see your family.  It’s sad my mother has so little say in where she will live.

Why is it I can get along with anyone BUT my husband and father?  I married a man just like my dear old dad I suppose.

Just how I see it,

~P.

Filed Under: Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Jul 23, 2011

Dear John V

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Drama

Dear John,

Last night I learned you called my former room-mate, John Ott.  It is outrageous that you are calling around, looking for anything to make up a story, for court.  I don’t call your people….. they call, text, email and message me.  Please stop causing drama and wild rumors to spread.  It’s just not following the rules of Kid’s First. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/11/kids-first/

Tesla is what is most important and she has a same, normal home.  Back out of my life and stop this endless drama so I can enjoy writing about all the stupid, mean, backstabbing things you did in the past.

I’m sure as I blog, I will work through my depression, developed after meeting you.  My therapist, Cathy Snelbaker at T.W. Ponessa has been supportive in any decisions I made.  You had the opportunity to attend counseling to work on our marriage.  You chose to stop going saying I would never change and admitting to knowing you couldn’t.  I’ve accepted that, so let’s move on.

I don’t bother any of your peeps, I treat Heather with respect when I see you.  I am nice to her kids and encourage Tesla to think of them as family.  I hope you can keep it together this time.

Stop calling people in my life.  I have enough to write about as life is.

Thank you,

Pattie

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 22, 2011

Yearbook to Facebook finds 1989: McNew, Laird and Fieldhouse

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Still having fun looking through my yearbook at Dover Highschool.  I currently have the 1986 year opened.  My friend Mike McNew stood out among the photos.  His 1986 photo is showing his respect for following the rules on the school bus.  He used this as the background for where he wrote to me:

Rule breaker

Pat,

To a real cute girl I met a while back.  Best of luck in the future with whatever you do and who you do it with.

Mike “89”

Go Team! Mike McNew

Mike,

That was so damn sweet of you back in 1986!  Calling me cute and everything!  It’s no wonder, because you are a nice guy.  We had a blast in highschool!  I’m kind of reliving it through college with kids 20 years younger than me.  Sadly I haven’t seen you recently and even sadder is the last time I did, it was at your sweetheart brother’s funeral.  Kelly was a cool guy and I’m sorry you lost your brother. Good memories from shop classes and Vo-Ag.  One that sticks in my head that’s weird….Gary Lightner sneaking up to the wood storage area, alone….

~P.

 

Aaron Laird http://www.facebook.com/aaron17315 who was a grade ahead of me, wrote this:

Pattie,

To a very sweet girl I’ve known all my life.  Keep up the good personality and don’t change for anyone.

Love ya,

Aaron

 

Dear Aaron,

First let me say, you knew all the way back in 1986 how to spell my name correctly.  Bonus points for that kind of shit!  What you wrote is perfect, sweet and now my rule of thumb.  It’s great we are still close friends.  I enjoy talking with you and riding our cycles.  We really do go back as friends.  All our lives is really true and it’s nice to have friends that didn’t want me to change.  Thank you for the dance at school and come visit me now that I’ve moved again!  No, I’m not going to kiss you under the hangers in my closet or clean your house in a duck costume.  LMAO

~P.

 

Winding up this round of blogs is http://www.facebook.com/madeline.m.brubaker or as people called her in highschool and at church, “Mich or Chelle” Do you still hate your first name so much?  I remember you just not liking it.  You always dotted the i with a little bubble or heart.  Patricia has grown on me, but I prefer Pattie.  If I remember correctly, I called you “Mad.”  LOL  Here’s what Michelle wrote:

Michelle still looking like a doll on her wedding day.

Pattie,  (bonus points!)

To a really strange chic.  Hope we’re friends forever darling.  Good Luck with Greg.  Wouldn’t you like to alfalfa him w/ him? OF COURSE!!  Silly question!

L/Y/D/N/Q,

Mich

(-n-

Mark.)

Dear Michelle,

Ok, who is Greg?  I’m thinking Greg Shaffer.  Or was his name Craig?  He was my neighbor off of Rohler’s Church Road and I really had a thing for him.  Other than him trying to yank my tank top down, he had no interest in “seeing” me.  (I scratched his arms up real bad once.  When he mom called and asked me why, suddently he was in trouble.)  Yes, I wanted to “alfalfa him!”  Do you remember what that was?  I do! LOL

You called me strange.  Thanks, I knew that back then too.  I grow on people….sometimes as a fungus.  You were a little out there too though.  You, Pam Schrum and I were tight friends.  I remember your mom and dad, especially your mom being our preacher.  How funny is that?  Do you still go to McDonald’s on Thanksgiving for chicken nuggets?   I thought that was so damn funny.  So much less work too!

Who was Mark?  I’m thinking Eckenrode?

Talk to you later Darling,

~P.

Coming up in my Yearbook to Facebook finds 1989.  Will be writing to you soon!

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Filed Under: high school days · Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Jul 21, 2011

Yearbook to Facebook finds 1989: Charles, Marwine & Murray

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This edition didn't exsist in 1989

Plan Time: 2:47 PM

Get the yearbooks from highschool and see who all I can find that signed my yearbooks.  Contact or friend anyone I find.  See who responds.  Sounds fun, much better than math.

3:21 PM

Wow….I was a social butterfly.

Starting with the first name I know and recognize, even without her last name signed is http://www.facebook.com/beth.c.kachel  or Beth Charles.  She writes:

Pat,

To a good friend a got to know way back in 6th grade.  Good luck in all you do, you’ll go far.  But don’t remember all the boring times in science.

Love,

Beth

Beth….you have such beautiful handwriting.  You also played the piano and lived on a farm.  I don’t remember much about science class but I do remember running to the stream to catch tadpoles behind your house.  I even remember catching them for a “scavengers list” game at your birthday party…..nice memories.  Your parents were so kind made me feel welcome when I visited.

Love,

Pattie

http://www.facebook.com/traci.a.tilson  Traci Murray wrote:

Pat,

To a really good friend I met in band.  Never forget all the good times with the band and in Ag.  You better remember Todd Marwine and all his crazy doings.  Good luck with that special someone (even if it is Mike!)  Catch ya next year.

Love ya (DNQ)

“Spunky” aka Traci

Dear Traci,

Yes, that Todd Marwine http://www.facebook.com/Todd.marwine was a crazy one.  What I remember most is hanging out at your house.  Especially after homecoming and watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre followed by a dip in the pool.  I’m glad that we still talk often.  You were a great person in highschool and you still are!  Will you ever get another rat and name it Critter after me?

Here’s a little note you wrote about Todd in my yearbook.  Did he really have to look up at me during the FFA picture?

Todd...take a picture already!

TTYL,

Pattie

This was fun.  I will keep picking people out of my yearbook and writing to them!

I miss high school,

~P.

4:23 PM

Filed Under: Friends, high school days · Tagged: , , , , ,
Jul 21, 2011

Test

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This colorblind test has nothing to do with my blog. Hopefully you see the number 3 there.

Text.  Test.  Test.

What the hell is that all about?  I have a math test due, but not until Monday.  So I’m not actually panicking, just reminding myself I should do it now.  I just finished writing my husband a letter (http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/21/dear-john-iv/ ) and should work on my math so I have all weekend to myself with Tesla.  But first, I want to write about something.

Sitting in my bedroom with my “new to me” air conditioner, I want to share a few thoughts while I wait for the gas man to arrive and give me gas.  Yes, it’s been a week since I moved in here and the gas man will finally cometh.

I marvel at the Commonwealth of PA’s welfare program.  While PA isn’t a state it’s often referred to as a State or PA State.  Regardless, there is a welfare system that can easily trap people into giving up in life, just letting the State pay their way.  By taking the time to learn how to use the State assistance program, I have made use of numerous benefits.

The Commonwealth of PA’s assistance program can work for someone who is having some bad luck in life.  My benefits are substantial, including medical insurance, mental health assistance with therapy for depression, dental, tuition money, grants, scholarships, loans, a car purchase, reimbursement of mileage, payment of textbooks and probably even more.  Not all just for me, but Tesla too.  The State will cover my daughter’s allergy tests at Hershey Medical Center because I am one of those people who have fallen on hard times.  My life is a wreck and seems stuck in a rut.

I did notice on the PA child custody website that John could be held accountable for all costs the State covers that they feel he should be attempting, instead of cancelling the little insurance policy Tesla and I did have.  Wouldn’t that be something if he has to reimburse the State?

Life is a test.  An endurance test.  Take it one day at a time.  🙂

Enduring life a little cooler,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 21, 2011

Dear John IV

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I love this pic I "stole" off the internet. She has an entire dear john website.

Dear John,

Thank you for letting me know the check I wrote for my move has been sent to domestics.  While it’s only $106, that’s significant in my little world.  Last night I had a few minutes to go online and check out the mortgages.  About a week or two ago you proudly told me you had caught up on the mortgages.  That was good to hear as it affects my credit as well as yours.  I even was happy for you and your gang to take a little vacation over the weekend I moved in. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/17/dear-john-ii/

Of course, you weren’t telling me the truth.  I see you made many payments to get out of that $10k hole.  I would expect money will show up as earned income first, before you made enough payments to bring the balance down.  Regardless, the mortgages are still behind.  Though I haven’t received any foreclosure notices http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/03/13/act-91-notice/ recently.  Have you?  Maybe it’s this whole “changing my address” so often the Post Office can’t keep up.  At least I am keeping them on their toes.  Just spoke to my mailman yesterday and he updated the mailbox to Patricia A. Crider and I reluctantly added my previous name, Delauter, because I knew I would still get mail with your name in error.  It takes time to get all these little boo-boos fixed when your stuck in a divorce.

Whoops…sorry about that.  I kinda went off a bit over the whole name thing.  It’s just things like this letter from Wells Fargo http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/04/15/not-horsing-around/.  I want my name separated from you.  It’s so simple John.  Our marriage is over and you have started a new life with a new woman.  Our daughter would like both families to be happy.  If you and Heather can be happy together, that’s great.  Super Dooper Great!  Even if that means we all have to start over, or at least fall behind, then recover.  I can do that and so can you!

Okay, good writing to you.  Now and then I still miss you.  I’m not sure why.

Just looking in on the mortgages and finding your bs,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Jul 20, 2011

Mystery, wonder and intrigue

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Because I have been so open about my life online, people are asking and wondering how the hell I managed to get this townhouse.  A very good question indeed.  I know I would be asking the very same.  At one point I was seeking an apartment on Craig’s List, desperate to find a place for Tesla and I to live.  My credit is shot in the ass.  My name is on the deed and mortgage of the house the future ex-hubby is living in.  Said house has been behind on the mortgage payment in upwards of $10,000.  My car was taken back, I couldn’t return to my career working for the state..wound up at my parents house for a year after living two weeks across the street with a neighbor.  (That’s a whole other blog someday)

A year living in the basement of my parents was survived by Tesla and I.  Then Dad announces on Mother’s Day weekend that we have to move because he is selling the Crider house and my brother Sam’s property right below it.  That threw a wrench in things.  I would have somehow survived three more years at my parents….don’t know if my dad would have.  🙂

So, we move to a basement in a Log Cabin.  My new roommate, John put in rugs and walls and made it look as close to a bedroom as possible.  Early concerns of many people was the dampness, mildew or mold.  For a month and a half the basement “aka: Pat Cave” was good as gold.  Then the heavy rains came and the Cave flooded and I knew I needed to find a new home.  Just wasn’t sure how I was going to pull this one off.

During my month and a half stay, I was introduced to the neighbors, Jeff, Jody and Dale.  I also met the children of Jeff and Jody.  These were the best neighbors you could ask for.  Their kids were awesome and played well with Tesla and John’s son, Matthew.  Jeff and Jody were a sweet, out-going couple that laughed easy and kept good company.  Dale we saw only now and then but as time passed he started visiting more often.  I liked talking to him because he was funny and sweet.  After telling him about my flooded bedroom he mentioned we should get an apartment together.  Dale is the 3rd wheel next door, so to speak.  .

“Sure, just has to be three bedrooms.” I replied.  Thinking if I could live with roommate John, a man who doesn’t even like himself, living with Dale would be a breeze!

“What about a two bedroom?” he asked.

“Where are you going to sleep then?” I asked, guessing where this conversation was going.

“One room for TT and one for just you.” he answered.

“Are you serious?  You’ll lease an apartment with me but not move in?”  I was dumb-founded and certain he was just messing with me.

“Yes, I am serious.  I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think you were trustworthy.  You have to make the rent payments.”  He was looking at me like I was dense.

“Oh right!  Of course!” I burst out laughing.

Talk about God looking out for someone.  I know God watches over me.  With his guidance, family and friends I know Tesla and I have a bright future.  Meeting people that will give a hand to someone in need changes both person’s lives.  My ex-roommate’s life changed, as did his sons, while Tesla and I lived there.  Tesla and I met Dale while living at the cabin.  Dale helped change my life and get out of feeling “homeless.”

So that that ends the “was wondering how you got your townhouse” curiousity and introduces new people into my blog world.

Thank you Dale Hollinger for helping me get a roof over our heads.  You are a kind, trusting man and I appreciate all that you have done.  Also….Tesla thinks your cool.

Blogging from my own dining room table,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce · Tagged: ,
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