Just a girl writing in the blogging ring
Dear John,
Why would you tell me Tesla’s medicine is in her bag if you hadn’t checked? It wasn’t in there. You told me you didn’t even take it out while she was with you. I know you are in the middle of throwing a party but come on?!
You get Tesla back for 8 hours and already can’t get things right.
Tesla said Heather put the medicine on her face. Apparently Heather is taking care of Tesla because you are just such a busy man.
See you tomorrow when you drop of her meds.
Yes, I am pissed.
~P.
Dear Dale,
I want to take a moment to thank you for your incredible patience. You are the first man in my life who I feel truly supports me during tough times.
You have been called in court and testified on my behalf. Your background was questioned. You were put under a microscope and you passed the “good guy” test. I commend you on your endless support during this very tough portion of my life. The drama seems endless and the results have not been in my favor.
Oh well, we will figure it out. You, me, Tesla and Ying. Don’t count on Ying for much input.
Tesla is holding up pretty good so far. She kept telling me she wanted to stay and I kept telling her she had to visit with her dad. Sure, she comes back tonight and then I have her until Monday when we go to her dance practice. Tess is already telling me she wants to go to school from my house. I hope she continues to hold up well, be strong and talk to me. Once the schedule starts, I am not sure how she will hold up.
She is going to miss us. Yes, us. She thinks you are great. “Superdooper great” I believe she said. I am going to miss her, but you know that already. I cried earlier and you comforted me by phone. I dried my tears.
You are such a supportive man, I am so thankful. Thankful that you are in my life. It was wonderful to meet your family. We all have dysfunctional families….LOL They were thrilled to see you and that tells me so much about your character!!
So I’ve been kinda bumming it today since Tesla left. I need to do some homework and stop watching “Planet Green” an oddly fascinating tv channel.
You should be home soon and that will make me happy!
Love you lots!
~P.
I had made a promise to Tesla back when the original custody agreement was made (2009) that I would tell her if anything changed. I said, “It’s not for you to worry about. If anything changes I will let you know. In the meantime you will still spend half you time with Daddy and half with me.” On numerous occasions Tesla told me she wanted to live with me during the week. School had not started at this point and where she was going to start school was decided by a court hearing. The decision was she would go to school from the marital residence where her dad is living.
About 2 months pass….
Yesterday the decision of custody was determined. Tesla would be in primary care of her father and mother will have visitation every other weekend. Arrangements for other visitation times will have to be agreed upon by John and I. I have faith he will allow Tesla and I to share time together without hesitation. We already agreed on how the rest of this week would go without even raises our voices. Progress achieved already! I truely believe the two of us can work out something between us so I get as much time with Tesla as Tesla would like considering, she didn’t get to live with the parent of her choice.
I also believe the person who will make this new custody agreement the most difficult will be Heather. Even though she is of no relation to Tesla and will not be any relation soon, she feels the need to put in her opinion, jab, critique and nonsense freely, as if she has that right. It would much easier to speak to John without Heather involved. I don’t involve Dale with decisions concerning Tesla so I don’t understand why John allows Heather such involvement. Besides being my husband’s girlfriend, I don’t believe Heather is particulary intelligent and I don’t agree with her parenting style. (Which seems to be just let John handle everything her kids need before and after school)
As promised, I talked to Tesla about the change of custody. She asked what court was and I explained how a judge in the courthouse decided she should live with her dad during the week and I would see her every other weekend. She immediately began to insist the judge could’t make her stay with her dad all week. I explained that the judge did have the power to make this happen but her dad and I will work together to make sure Tesla and I still see each other regularly.
I also explained that over the summer, she would live with dad for a week, then with me for a week. She thought that over a little bit and said, “I want to live with you now.” I told her that I understand she is upset and disappointed and that I felt the same way but we have to do what the judge said. I also told her that the judge said custody can always change in the future.
Her and I both agreed to try our best with the new custody order. I told her I want her to be happy and that is what is most important to me. If at some point there is a legitimate reason to request a change in custody, I will do so. For now, we will deal with what the law states. You never know what may happen in the future that may lead to a custody change.
Me ~n~ TT are good,
~P.
P.S. Yes, I am disappointed I wasn’t awarded majority custody. Will that make me lay down, shed tears and curl up in a corner? Hell no! I will spend time with Tesla and Dale and work hard at college….and my future book, “I used to drive a Mercedes.”
Dear John,
I am sure you are patting yourself on the back right now. Congratulations, you have majority custody of Tesla. Did you notice the judge said, “custody can always change” before she read her decision. Do you still think Judge Dorney is a half-wit?
So now I just have Tesla every other weekend. The judge stressed the importance of her mother still being very involved in her life. I texted you a couple times and brought it up in person that I want to see Tesla at least once or twice during the week. Since you told the judge I am a good mom, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want Tesla and I to see each other. It confuses me that you didn’t respond to my texts or my comment in person. Would you really intentionally keep Tesla from seeing me, just because you have the “power” to do so?
I am going to have to break it to Tesla that she won’t be coming home nearly as often as she is used to. I know you said you didn’t want to tell her about the verdict because “she was already upset” over me getting stuck in traffic accident and not making it to her dance class. How the hell do you think she’s going to take it when she learns she will rarely spend the night with her mom? This might all backfire in your face.
You won the hearing, but in the end it won’t matter. You can’t replace me as Tesla’s mom. Eventually, she will want to live with her mommy. In the meantime, I am going to push like you have never seen before to get this divorce finished.
I’m not angry, just disappointed for Tesla,
~P.
It is Sunday and I am taking a moment to reflect on tomorrow.
A judge will decide where Tesla will live. My daughter knows in the past, decision were made for her and for her parents, by someone who works at the courthouse. A Judge, in this case, Judge Dorney will decide who Tesla will spend the majority of her time.
John pled his case. Heather backed him up on his awesomeness. Diane and Todd took the stand, said things that may or may not have helped John’s case. LaDonna took the stand and in my opinion, mouthed the words she had been instructed to say. What else can she do? She still wants a paycheck from the business. She may feel indebted to John, at one time he loaned La $4,000 without mentioning a word to me. In fact, he told La not to mention the loan. After I was moved out and she continued working for John, he suggested she move in with her daughters, Kennedy and Ashtyn. John liked to think of everyone as family and their kids, his kids. LaDonna had no interest in moving in with John, as her boyfriend or otherwise. There’s just so much that doesn’t get brought up in court. At least not the custody court. Who knows how the divorce court will go.
I pled my case. It was pretty simple. Dale took the stand and testified on my behalf. As did my son Jarrid. It all boils down to which story sounds the most truthful to Judge Dorney and which parent she feels will have Tesla’s interests first.
No matter what the decision is, it will have to be explained to a five and a half-year old.
No easy task,
~P.
Dear John,
So much of what you say is bullshit, I barely can stomach hearing you talk. There is little I believe, that you say.
Once again, I wasn’t surprised when you were at the house this morning. I’m not sure why I even ask if you can meet me in the mornings to exchange Tesla. Today you were going to be working, but like I said, you were home instead. Now why was it you couldn’t meet me this morning?
I find it just ironic that when Tesla has any type of appointment for her health, whether physical or mental, you are more worried about the cost more than anything else. Today, Tesla had to have blood drawn to make sure she wasn’t infected with lyme’s disease by a tick. Before the painful process of having her little arms stuck twice, the nurse asked for Tesla’s insurance. I waited a moment to see if you would pipe up with some answer, but you didn’t. Just waited for me to break out my welfare card.
After the appointment we went our separate ways…Tesla with me and Heather and two of her girls with you. I’m not sure why Heather and kids needed to tag along. Perhaps you all had somewhere important to go.
My text to you “it’s nice how me being on welfare keeps your child’s medical bills paid huh?”
Your response made no sense….”I wouldn’t know. I’m not on welfare.”
I replied “No..but you don’t have a problem using me to get Tesla’s bills paid.”
I find it pathetic that you continue to drag this divorce out. You use my unfortunate situation to take advantage of the state’s welfare system. I believe if you could stretch this divorce out for all eternity, you would. That way you can continue to claim all business proceeds as just your income, never have to settle on our maritial home and have your child’s medical bills all paid, school lunches covered etc. The $52 a month paid for alimony is much cheaper than paying for health insurance isn’t it? Meanwhile you and your girlfriend with her 4 kids continue on, as if you don’t have a wife who is waiting for a divorce.
Shame on you for using me, the welfare system and your child for your own benefit.
Your Greed is showing,
~P.
I’ve been waiting for a long time to read the writing on the wall. Time flies by so quickly in life. Checking in on my older children, picking up and dropping off my youngest….time spent at college and in court preparing for classes and cases. Three weeks seemed so far away, yet it is passing quickly.
Is life already planned out for people? Do humans have the ability to make changes in their life?
Things happen for a reason. Today I read the writing on the wall and it confirmed for me, I am on the right track.
She writes tiny, but spells correctly
My daughter is my world and I love her to pieces….even when she writes on the wall.
6 days and counting,
~P.
Catching up with the wagon
Dear John,
Guess who called today? Wells Fargo. They said they spoke to you earlier.
So what kind of explanation did you give them for not paying the $2770 due on the mortgage? I was just shocked it wasn’t paid, but apparently they have been calling on a regular basis. I don’t take calls while I’m in class so I guess they missed me. I did have a message from they yesterday.
They asked me why it wasn’t paid and I couldn’t give a good reason. I told them you were taking a vacation and I didn’t realize the mortgage was behind. I also let them know I didn’t live there, wasn’t allowed in the property and had no intentions of ever living there again. Oh, and my income is the $185 I get from you every other week.
How can you insist that everything is alright with the house if the mortgage company keeps calling?? You told the judge there was “no problems” with the mortgage.
Sigh,
~P.
P.S. Any clothes with any black magic marker inside will automatically be returned. I don’t understand Heather’s attempt at trademarking Tesla’s clothes.
DAD..MOM..TM?
I sent a text to John:
Now I am really confused bout TT clothes. What does TM mean?
John didn’t respond, but I asked a couple of my friends what they thought.
Their responses:
Tesla’s Mom and Trademark.
Any other thoughts until I can get this explained. I just don’t follow Heather’s logic.
Total Malarkey,
~P.
girlboxer1970 