Go see the Principal

What’s the worst thing a teacher can say to a student?  Go to Principal “Doe’s” office.  That statement strikes fear in all students.

I remember in Dover Middle School,  getting caught with chewing gum in my mouth by Mr. Gohn, not once but twice.  He told me to put the gum on the end of my nose.  This was 7th grade I believe and there was no way in hell I was putting gum on the end of my nose and setting myself up for ridicule by my classmates.  OH HELL NO!  So I refused and Mr. Gohn said, “You have two options, put the gum on your nose or go to Principal Keller’s office.”  I stood up and said, “I’ll go to the office.”  Mr. Gohn paused and said “really?” and I replied, “yes.”   He raised his hands up and said, “well, ok then, go.”

I went to the office and was given detention that afternoon.  Ironically, the assistant principal was on detention duty that day and told us to leave as soon as he walked in the door.  Score one for team Pattie.

Now today was different.  I was told to go see the principal because….I now have to follow Canadochly Elementry school’s 6 day cycle and can only volunteer on day 6, after noon.  For the past three weeks, I had been volunteering in Tesla’s class one day a week on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday.  Ms. Dettinger and I would get in touch and decide a day that worked with my college classes.  Keep in mind, there are parents that come in everyday.   While the children were at music class, Ms. Dettinger asked me out to the hall.  She explained I can come in on day 6 and John can come on day 3.

I started to cry in the hall.  What kind of bullshit is this?  I can’t volunteer in my daughter’s class now because John called the office and laid down some strict schedule for when I can come in.  I see no reason for this restriction.  John has not volunteered in Tesla’s room so far this year.  If he can only make time on “Day 3 after noon” that is his scheduled time and I would respect that.  It should not cause me to lose time in Tesla’s classroom just because he isn’t going on any other days.
Adding salt to my wound, I learn Tesla has not done her homework for the past two days.  My head felt like it was going to rupture.  Why the hell isn’t Tesla getting her homework done?  John won’t let me see Tesla after school, pick her up from school or let me do homework with her.   Yet he isn’t doing homework with her!  How is this happening?  He states I can’t get Tesla after school because she has a strict schedule (and he isn’t allowing me to be part of it.)  Apparently homework isn’t making the schedule either.

I’ll be seeing the principal very soon and getting to the bottom of this.

With a tablet and pencil in hand,

~P.

I’ll call the police

“I will call the police,” I heard, walking towards the gymnastic center’s doors.  I could not believe Heather was threatening to call the cops on me.  Well, actually I can.  She sounded just like John.  His voice was still on my mind.

John and I ran into each other earlier that day, at our family doctor’s office.  John had Heather’s son at the office.  I was just leaving after a follow-up concerning my meds.  My stomach was nauseated almost daily for a month and I couldn’t control when I might throw-up.  It didn’t even have to involve John.  It crossed my mind I might be pregnant, but the test clearly showed only one line.  Anyone need the other pregnancy test?

I asked my future ex-beloved to explain why our doctor had no record of Tesla’s atv accident and he said he had not spoken to John about any possible injuries.  John insisted our doctor would put that in writing for him and I said, I will believe it when I see it.  Which is worse?  Not telling me Tesla had an accident on the atv or telling me he had her checked by a doctor when he hadn’t?

Tesla has gymnastics once a week.  My time with Tesla on a personal level is severely restricted.  When I do get time with Tesla one-on-one, I have to sign an agreement that it’s a one time visit.  John is adamant that this is how the judicial system wants our custody agreement handled.  I think he is just a control freak.  Now this week at gymnastics, Heather had Tesla and her girls at the gym but John wasn’t present.  He texted me “sick” after I asked twice why he wasn’t there.  Now I had just seen him earlier in the day at our doctor’s office.  Less than four hours later he is too sick to take Tesla to gymnastics?  Why wasn’t I contacted so I had the opportunity to spend more time with Tesla while her dad was “sick?”

Gymnastics is over….the waiting room is jammed to the hilt with squealing children in spandex and parents trying to get them in or out.  Tesla’s coat was on and I took her hand to walk towards the door.  I had already asked John twice if I could take Tesla home because, I knew she would ask me.  No go…he was fixated on Heather taking Tesla home.  When changing clothes, Tesla asked me in the bathroom if she could go home with me.  I told her I couldn’t take her home with me.  Next, of course, she asked me to take her to her dad’s.  I told her I couldn’t, she would have to ride with Heather.  Tesla was not happy, but I told her I would see her again, as soon as possible.

“Pattie!  Pattie!  Stop, Tesla is going home with me! I’ll call the police!”

Now I am no fool and I have no interest in having the cops come to my daughter’s gymnastics studio.  Heather must have had it in her head (or it was put in her head) that I would sail out of there with Tesla in tow and she would be left behind with only her daughters.  How the hell would she explain that to “The Man?”  What made me giggle inside, though I was nearly at my boiling point on the outside, was “what the hell would she say to the cops after I left to take Tesla home?”

9-1-1 Operator:  911, what is your emergency?

Heather:  I need the police to chase down Patricia Crider.  She left with her daughter, Tesla and is driving her home.

9-1-1 Operator:  Your name is?

Heather:  Heather King.

9-1-1 Operator:  Your relationship to Patricia?

Heather:  She is my boyfriend’s wife and he told me not to let Patricia drive her daughter home because…..we just don’t want her to…..

Obviously, Heather did not call the police, even after I told her to “go right ahead.”  Just more ridiculous threats in front of all four children.  Heather insisted I started the drama because I yelled at her.  Seriously, I barely speak to Heather and she was the one “chasing me down.”

Heather has no business telling me what I can or can’t do with my child.  I don’t want to hear her telling me to “take it back to court if I don’t like the decision.”  What I don’t like is her big mouth filling my ears with what she thinks.  I don’t care what she thinks.  She is just a tool and hasn’t realized it yet.

I wonder what people at church think about Heather and John’s newly formed family.  Does the pastor dance around the fact that they are both married to other people?  I am embarrassed that I can’t get John to go forward with the divorce proceedings.  I don’t want my child growing up thinking it’s ok to be married to one person but screwing someone else.  Neither of them seem to mind that they are setting a terrible example for their offspring.

No shortage of writing material here.

~P.

Who the **** did I marry?

I watch that show “Who the bleep did I marry?” and cross my fingers there is never an episode written about me.

Last night I tried to be a supportive co-parent and invited John into my home to talk.  I just wanted to know what happened when Tesla wrecked the 4-wheeler.  Immediately John confirmed my suspicions by admitting Tesla fell off the atv.  He says Tesla didn’t run into him with the atv but just hit bumps in the yard and fell off.  The atv continued across the yard without Tess.

Now I don’t know what day this happened but on Friday the sudden doctor appointment for a cold appears to be a bunch of bullshit.  According to John, the doctor  checked her out for injuries and found nothing.  Interestingly enough, there is no documentation on the doctors report even mentioning an atv accident or possible injuries.  Nor did John get in writing that the doctor now doesn’t feel Tesla could benefit from art therapy.

I told him I didn’t think Tesla was big enough to ride the atv on her own and her falling off and hurting herself was enough to confirm it for me.

He said, “well when she’s with you, she doesn’t have to ride.”  (That makes perfect sense since I don’t have three atvs at home.)

I realized this part of the conversation was going nowhere and told him just to leave.  I wanted to hug and kiss Tesla without the goon behind me.

rainbow mohawk ballet dancer

Tesla had on her dance tutu on she picked out at the Harrisburg Farm Show.  I asked her if she was going to wear it to dance class tomorrow and she said “yes!”

As John walked out he said, “no dance tomorrow” and I paused closing the door.

“No dance tomorrow either?  What about gymnastics on Wednesday?  Is she even taking lessons anymore?!”  My frustration at his constant changing of Tesla’s schedule was growing by leaps and bounds.

“Actually no.  She is starting soccer in February.”

You know how the needle scratching across a record sounds?  That is how it felt hearing this.  From what I could understand last night, dance and gymnastics have been scrapped and now soccer is the latest interest.  I have never, not even a tiny mention, heard from Tesla that she wants to play soccer.  She loves dance and gymnastics so why the hell is soccer becoming their replacement?  So her favorite activities have now ceased.  I imagine it gets expensive having 5 kids in dance and/or gymnastics.  I would like to see Tesla stay in at least one of her favorite activities but now that John has a huge family, I guess that’s not possible.  Even if I wanted to pay for and take Tesla to dance or gymnastics, he would never agree to it.  That would be “losing control” of Tesla’s schedule to me and that is completely unacceptable in his world.

So much was hitting me at that second I couldn’t think straight.  What it boiled down to was there was no activity I could attend during the week to see Tesla and when I asked him when I could see her, he said “in two weeks” meaning my weekend to have her.  He actually smiled at me when he said that.  I said, “you are on a power trip with this custody order.  Why would you keep Tesla from seeing me?”

His response: “I’m not keeping her from seeing you.  I’m just following the court order. Call the judge, maybe she will let you see Tess on Wednesday.”

Tesla and I hugged and kissed goodbye.  We were both shook up by her father’s words.  Tesla had just learned that dance and gymnastics were over for her and we wouldn’t be seeing each other for 2 weeks.

Everyone is just a pawn in John’s game of life.

~P.

Dear John~Irritated

Dear John,

Again, nothing you do surprises me.  I just roll my eyes and continue on with life.

You see, before dinner, Tesla pulled out all the “cool stuff” from her book bag.  Arts and crafts and several books.  After dinner she pulled out her school papers and was satisfied she was done sharing what she felt was important.

I went through what was left and what do I find? “Telsa’s” parent contacts listing.  My name was nowhere to be found, but Heather and her husband are both listed for their children.  I also noticed your new email address.  Yet when I asked for a personal email you didn’t have one.  Just send it to work and when LaDonna checks my email she will let me know.  Why would you want LaDonna reading all our emails?

Now Tesla keeps telling me her neck hurts and she has a large black and blue mark on her arm.  Oh, and that she ran into you riding the little 4-wheeler then fell off.  All I asked her was what was making her neck hurt.  I don’t think she was making it up as she was very specific about where it happened in the yard and how she hit you.

Thanks for ignoring my texts messages.

That didn’t surprise me either,

~P.

A different kind of letter

It’s Christmas Eve day and I had two pieces of mail.  A very delayed letter from the Dept of Welfare and a copy of my lawyer’s letter to John’s lawyer.

The letter to Doug France is my lawyers attempt to get things moving along.  At this point, France may have put more time into John’s stupid filing for divorce than he did in defending the ax murder who killed the woman from Red Lion and dumped her body at Beaver Hole.  France was disappointed when the murder hung himself in jail.  Apparently France managed to get the murderer a life sentence.  More about that in my Beaver Hole blog.

So the letter requests more time for Tesla and I together, her going to art therapy and to proceed with the divorce (house appraisal, business records, debts, etc.)  The divorce information has been requested several times now.  My accountant has been hanging onto records for years now!!

Can’t wait for Christmas!

~P.

Surprise gifts from Tesla

I picked up Tesla at 5 PM tonight.  I was a little bit early but it took another 15 minutes or so for her to come out.  I walked up to the door three times, and rang the bell.  I saw Heather in the house.  John saw me at the door and yelled out “she will be out soon” through the glass.  A little bit later John and Tesla came out, John carrying a large bag of gifts and Tesla’s school papers.   He said he would pick up Tesla at my parents at 11:45.  He’s on a tight schedule with Heather’s kids and all.

The gifts inside were for Dale: a cute stocking with a ginormous summer bologna stick, Hershey’s chocolates and walnuts.  There was a coupon for Chili’s, buy and adult meal, get a kid’s meal free.  It was expired.  Not expired, were McD’s coupons.  McD’s is his favorite place for quick food and a sweet tea.

I received a huge glass peanut jar.  Inside was Christmas tea towels, oven mitt, pot holder, cookie mix, icing, sprinkles, and a cookie cutter.  A second small gift was a Christmas ornament.  It says Mother & Daughter with a hole for a picture.  Hanging from the bottom is beautiful beading and a decorative tag that states:  2004  Hell, that was my first Christmas with John.  No baby yet…

There is a gift for Grandma and Grandpa in the bag too.

So at 11:45, Tesla and I will give John and his new girlfriend and kids the gifts we have for them.

Santa,

I need a divorce for Christmas.

Sincerely and seriously,

~P.

 

4 days left

 

Very Cool!

Only four days are left until Christmas day.  Where does time go!? 

Now that the fall semester at YCP is over and we are just waiting patiently for our grades, it dawns on me how close Christmas Day is.  Tesla is with her Dad, Heather, and all her kidlings.  Somewhere in Erie they are in a water wonderland.  It looks awesome and I’m glad Tesla is having this experience.  Though not receiving any child support since November 23 is frustrating to say the least.  

Meanwhile I am home organizing all these notes, bills, school work and more.  It seems endless!  I love seeing the pictures of Tesla and can not wait to see her on Friday.  Christmas Day we are going to my parents.  I only have Tesla until noon.  I would love for John to extend my time until two but I doubt he will agree to that.  We are texting about exchange time now.  I asked him to pick up Tesla at my parents.  I don’t know if he will even agree to that.

sigh…Hohoho

At least Tesla will wake up here Christmas morning!!!

Have you been naughty or nice?

~P.

Oh, for shits and giggles…here is what I signed to visit with Tesla for three hours.

 

Memento from my “first visit” with Tesla

 

Child Support

Today I received a notice from Domestics that John wants the child support order adjusted.   I realized after he was awarded majority custody he would stop paying child support, at least after his arrears were caught up.

John sites he no longer has an obligation to pay child support per Judge Dorney’s decision.  He wrote on the “other specific changes” line she has a live in boyfriend.  I’m not sure what he is implying, perhaps that Dale pays the bills?

What kills me about this notice is the reason he gave for “said change in circumstances, the Order should be modified as follows:”  Support be paid by mother

My only income previously was the support John paid for Tesla and a little bit of alimony.  Did he ever hear you can’t get blood from a turnip?  No income is no income. 

We took Tesla to have allergy testing today.  She had a little bit of reaction to outside mold and that was all.  Finally some good news.  I hope to see Tesla again on Wednesday.  She was sad that she couldn’t go home with me.  She’s going to a funeral with her dad tonight.  I would rather be with my mom than a funeral too.

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To pass the time, Tesla took pictures before her test was administered.  The actual testing process did not go great.  Tesla shrieked in fear at the tiny wand that looked like a fancy toothpick.  It didn’t even break the skin.  The fall she took earlier in the day while with John was more painful than what John had to hold her still for.  It went quickly and she did calm down.

 

Unreal,

~P.

WOW a truck just hit an electric line across the street.  Posting pictures soon.  There is hazardous liquid running all over the road from the transformer.

Little Ballerina

This afternoon was Tesla’s dance recital.  We had so much fun getting ready before the show!  Usually she doesn’t like her hair done, but for dance she was excited.  Not really for the hair bun I had to attempt, but because she could wear make-up!

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My brother and sister, Sam and Susan went with Dale, Tesla and I.  York Catholic High School was packed with people attending the recital.  Two of John’s brothers also came, Mike and Tim.  Tim brought along his girlfriend Vonnie.  Heather, John, Heather’s husband and his girlfriend were present too.  I could have lived with not seeing Mike (ass clown) but it was good to see Tim and Vonnie.

Heather and I were civil, almost friendly to each other in the girl’s locker room.  I used some of her hairspray to glue Tesla’s hair down.  As I was helping Tesla get in costume, I realized my “John’s good girl” tattoo was in plain view.  I almost started giggling at the thought of Heather seeing it in the flesh.  🙂  I held back the giggles and after I had Tesla’s leotard on, Heather came over and said “She needs her tights first.”  Then I did start laughing, just because I didn’t put the tights first.  Tesla thought it was funny too.

The first three rows were saved by John and Heather.  I asked him why he didn’t save a seat for me and he was just overwhelmed with saving the 10 he had for people coming to the show.  I rolled my eyes and said “I am her mom.”  About fifteen minutes later while I was with Tesla, John told Dale him and I could move up to the third row.  What a nice gesture!  John does have an occasional “nice” moment.  When Tesla was on stage I went to the front row and sat next to John to snap some pictures.  John recorded the kids dancing and Heather reminded him to record her children.  LOL  John needs poked like that at times.

All the children were adorable and tried hard.  The youngest ones were the most entertaining.  A few of them just stood in the limelight, frozen in front of the huge audience.  Tesla had a wonderful time along with Abigail, Gabrielle, Katelyn and Casey.  I am looking forward to the copy John promised to make me.

Here’s to an excellent show and an afternoon supporting all the kids at York Dance Arts!

~P.

P.S. My only critique:  The Ludachristmas song was an inappropriate song choice.

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