Surprise gifts from Tesla

I picked up Tesla at 5 PM tonight.  I was a little bit early but it took another 15 minutes or so for her to come out.  I walked up to the door three times, and rang the bell.  I saw Heather in the house.  John saw me at the door and yelled out “she will be out soon” through the glass.  A little bit later John and Tesla came out, John carrying a large bag of gifts and Tesla’s school papers.   He said he would pick up Tesla at my parents at 11:45.  He’s on a tight schedule with Heather’s kids and all.

The gifts inside were for Dale: a cute stocking with a ginormous summer bologna stick, Hershey’s chocolates and walnuts.  There was a coupon for Chili’s, buy and adult meal, get a kid’s meal free.  It was expired.  Not expired, were McD’s coupons.  McD’s is his favorite place for quick food and a sweet tea.

I received a huge glass peanut jar.  Inside was Christmas tea towels, oven mitt, pot holder, cookie mix, icing, sprinkles, and a cookie cutter.  A second small gift was a Christmas ornament.  It says Mother & Daughter with a hole for a picture.  Hanging from the bottom is beautiful beading and a decorative tag that states:  2004  Hell, that was my first Christmas with John.  No baby yet…

There is a gift for Grandma and Grandpa in the bag too.

So at 11:45, Tesla and I will give John and his new girlfriend and kids the gifts we have for them.


I need a divorce for Christmas.

Sincerely and seriously,




  1. What happened to noon? I would make HIM< THE ALMIGHTY ONE< IN HIS MIND ANYWAY….wait the extra 15 minutes to get her things 2gether. Enjoy her Pattie! and of course, your sons as well.

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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