Greed makes his world go round

$20 dollars made me hollar!

I don’t think of myself as a greedy person.  Most people who know me wouldn’t say I’m a greedy person.  John and his girlfriend might say I’m greedy but hey, $20 is $20.  I pay $10 a day for Tesla to go to daycare at Weiglestown Child Care Center, an excellent daycare facility.  In the past when John hasn’t had someone to babysit for him so he can go do an estimate, work on a job or get laid, he has taken Tesla to daycare and reimbused me the $10 fee.  The last time he suddenly had no one available he called and asked if he could drop Tess off and I said “of course.”

Now last week before bed,  when Tesla called her dad after my repeated prompting, he didn’t answer and she left a message.  In the morning I talked her into calling him but again, he didn’t answer.  Trying one more time before dropping her off at daycare, his voice mail kicked in and I dropped her off without her talking to her father.  About ten minutes after the last call to him, he called back and I told him he just missed her.  He asks if he can pick Tess up from daycare today and since I was in the process of moving to West York, I said he could.

Around 10 AM I was filling up my dad’s gas guzzling truck at Turkey Hill right down from the daycare and who passes by but John, his girlfriend, her kids and Tess.  Now that pissed me off as Tess was looking forward to seeing her friends at daycare.  He couldn’t answer the phone the night before, or that morning and had some lame excuse that I didn’t listen to, but he could pick up Tess half an hour after I dropped her off.

I called his phone and his reason for picking her up was because they were going swimming at our home in our pool.  I said “I just dropped her off John!” and he responded with “What do you want me to say?”  I answered with “You can pay me the $10 for the daycare asshole!” and hung up.

When it came my time to pick Tess up from him, I yelled down from the top of the driveway (where I have to park) “Did you send my $20?” and he yelled back “Take it to domestics!”  I answered “Domestics doesn’t have anything to do with that.” and his “unable to mind her own damn business” girlfriend yells back “yes they do!”  Who the hell is talking to her?!  Certainally not me!  I yelled back “shut up! I’m not talking with you!”

As if my money isn’t stretched tight enough trying to live on a pathetic $441 a month while John keeps all the business income and supports his girlfriend and her 4 kids, I have to listen to her big mouth?!  I don’t need to hear jack shit from her….she’s just another chick on John’s list to cheat on.  Trust me, it will happen.

If withholding that $20 makes John feel like “the big man” then fine, don’t pay me back.  You’re only hurting your daughter and without me telling her anything, she has her dad all figured out.  Today I had to MAKE her leave for her weekend with him.  It breaks my heart to see her leave and breaks it even more that she doesn’t want to leave me.

~P.

Bulldog attack

West York Bulldogs

It’s official!  Tesla is registered for kindergarten in West York!  She may be the only kindergartener registered for school in two different districts but that’s just fine.  I am ready to fight for custody of my daughter and act like a bulldog if necessary.

I find the whole custody court interesting….expensive but interesting.  I can’t wait to see what stories come out in court that will be used to sway a judge towards one parent or another.  I already know what my ammunition is and my lawyer says it’s in the bag.  In fact, my lawyer said he can’t believe John would even take it to court with his unbelievable history.  I can believe it, as he will stop at nothing to get his way all the time.

Secrets come out in court and become public record…..and even more titillating blog material!

~P.

 

Settled In

Moving sucks….and it sucks twice as much when you’re a co-owner of a moving company yet can’t make use of the trucks you personally found online to purchase for your business.

Instead I borrowed my dad’s 1970’s pickup and made multiple trips in that gas guzzling, ancient truck.  My sister and I nicknamed it “Big Red” a long time ago.  It actually belonged to my first husband’s dad and he sold it to my dad.  It’s not nearly as pretty as it used to be as my dad is a terror on vehicles.  Just a few weeks ago he backed into my sister’s Ford Focus and put a huge dent in it.  Not that he offered to have it repaired…don’t be silly!

So I’m pretty settled in and excited to get Tesla this afternoon.  She’s already seen the house but now that her room is set up she will be twice as excited.  I changed my address and have to wait for that to come in the mail so I can finish registering her for kindergarten.  It will be awesome to be in school myself while she is just starting.  My world revolves around her and I miss her so much when she’s away.

Everything I do is for her and she knows that.  Spoiled, perhaps a little, but isn’t that what kids are for?  Jarrid and Zeth are going to my parents this weekend to visit and I want them to come check out my new digs.  It’s close to everything, yet back in the woods on a road no one has ever heard of.  The only downside is I can’t let Ying run loose like he was used to because there are too many other dogs in the neighborhood and he will want to visit.  He was picked up once by the police for jay walking on Market Street when I lived in East York.  It cost $50 to get him released from the dog catcher!  Fortunately, the backyard is fenced in for Tesla and Ying so they still can run around and play.

Things are looking up and I am in good spirits.  Summer classes start in a week and I’m anxious to get back at the books.  On an even better note, with all the stress with divorce, custody, moving, etc….I received a letter from York College, I made the Dean’s List!!!  Woohoo!!!  Nothing and no one can keep me down!!

~P.

Kick in the gut

CHEATERS NEVER WIN!!

I wanted to believe while John and I were together he was faithful to me.  Never once did I ever cheat on him or even think about having an affair.  During our marriage he swore he would never cheat on me and even after he filed for divorce he stuck to his story that he never had cheated on me.

So it was a kick in the gut tonight to learn that once again, he lied to my face.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised as he cheated on his first wife, cheated on his last girlfriend back in October ’10 and as I learned tonight, he cheated on me while we were still “happily married.”  Some people just can’t be faithful….

So, call me gullible…because I certainly was.  Now I just stockpile all this information for my day in court.  This divorce can not come soon enough!

~P.

Eastern or WY?

Will eat an East York Knight for a snack

Now that I have a place to live, a custody battle will be the next war.  It never dawned on me that the divorce would be dragged out from the time Tesla was 2 and a half, to the age she starts kindergarten.  John has her registered at Eastern and I, in West York.  Both are good school districts sooooo…that being the case, I am ready for a judge to decide where Tesla will reside.  I have nothing to hide and actually hope a judge making the decision will push the divorce forward.

At this point, the mortgage for John and my house is so far behind, short of an act of God, I see no way of digging out.  I don’t care how many times John says “business is picking up” it’s not going to make a difference.  Maybe if God sends a tornado the business could actually be picked up, other than that, I see no hope.

Now if business does pick up that means John’s income increases, correct?  That’s how it should work, but in the world of self employment, one can easily manipulate the books to make it appear things are still slow or other costs are high.  Just cash those checks and pay the employees under the table and “presto” no income change.  Another instant income reducer, write of your divorce fees as business related and gross income drops $10,000.00.  Domestics takes whatever numbers are thrown infront of them, even when they don’t make sense or add up.   Bookkeeping was a huge issue in the running of our business and will be a huge issue in divorce court.  (If he risks taking it that far)

At some point, won’t the government question how the books are kept?  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out things are a bit shady.  Meanwhile, my accountant is STILL waiting for the lawyer requested financial statements and Quickbooks program.  Guess that legal move of subpoenaing documents for court will come in handy!

Now if it will make it to court before the house is foreclosed on is the question….

Never gonna give up or in as long as I’m still breathing!!

~P.

Homeless but happy

The word is the parental homestead is going up for sale.  God Bless the person who buys this straw house.  So, once again, I am mortgaged to the hilt with my husband, yet homeless.  Now I contemplate the options I have of getting a new place to live. 

I could move onto campus, but there are no overnight visitors aloud.  I can’t live somewhere that I am not permitted to take my daughter.  I could get an apartment close to campus but have to consider Tesla starting school.  John has taken the liberty of enrolling her in the school district of our home in Windsor.  When I brought up registering her for Dover he had a meltdown.  He told me today he had his lawyer send a letter to my lawyer concerning Tesla.  He wants her to go to school from our house but will agree to let me have her 3 days a week or something like that.  For that to work, I would need to live close to Windsor or in Windsor. 

I’m not giving up parental rights to my daughter.  Not going to happen.  With that thought in mind, I struggle to do what’s best.  I refuse to remain on a mortgage of a house I don’t live in, especially with the latest girlfriend and her 4 kids residing there.  The mortgage is way behind and now our credit is ruined so I don’t see how John thinks he can keep our house to himself.  He has warned me if I make him sell the house he will ruin me….how much more ruined can I get?  At least I’m not scared!!

So, my options: 

Should I use my school loan to get an apartment?  Try to get an apartment near the house I own with John and keep the 50-50 custody agreement?  Give in to his demand of having majority custody and patiently wait for Tesla to announce she wants to live with her mom?  Get an apartment in Dover and fight for custody?  Get an apartment in Dallastown and move Zeth in before his father boots him out over the summer?  Rent a house with my sister and nephew?  That would be four people and two dogs and probably, very expensive.

  My God this is a mess and I only have one person to thank.  Myself, for falling in love with an asshole.

Thoughts and comments appreciated!  House and apartment rental leads also appreciated!!

~P.

Happy Birthday John

The perfect cake that I didn't have to bake!

Since I know I have one dedicated reader to my blog, I decided to give him a world-wide Happy Birthday wish.  

You said you worked today and I’m so sorry to hear that.  I know how much you hate going out and actually doing work on a job site.  It is so much easier to send out employees to do the dirty work.  The fact that it’s your birthday must have made it particularly rough.

I know a couple of years ago when I was super bitter I wished you would get herpes on your birthday.  I won’t wish that again as it kinda lost its punch after the first time.  At the pace you move through women, there is always the chance you may still get the gift that keeps on giving.

What does someone give you for your birthday?  In the past I always had difficulties finding the right gift.  I just didn’t know what to buy for a man who gets himself everything he wants on his own.  You liked to say our daughter was your best birthday gift ever as she was born just 3 days before your birthday.  At least I can agree with you on that one.

Well, I can’t say I have a gift for you.  You’ll just have to keep on counting Tesla as my gift from here on out.  I’m sure your latest girlfriend will have spent some money on you or at least take you out to eat now that you’re done working for the day.  I wish I could give you something special for your birthday like you did me back in 2008.  Your filing for divorce on my birthday was quite a surprise for me!  I appreciate that gift now and I’m pleased it wasn’t herpes instead.

Happy 45th Birthday John!  Maybe by Christmas we can agree on divorce as a mutual gift.

Your hopefully soon, X-wife,

Pattie

April 17 2007 revisited

This is a blog from 2007  that doesn’t tell the full story of what happened the day I miscarried.  I was embarrassed to tell what really happened after I lost the baby.  Not embarrassed by the loss of my baby, but by the actions of my husband.  This is the story I shared then:

I said “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” so many times in my short 36 years.  It usually applied to men in some form or another but yesterday was a different story.  I’d been having problems for about a week with spotting and contacted my doctor.  I had an appointment on Monday to see her at the clinic.  Since finding out I was pregnant, I also found out my insurance wouldn’t cover any maternity.  Insurance sucks for those self-employed unless you can afford to drop about $1k a month, just on health insurance.

We went to see the doctor Monday and I was pretty sure there wouldn’t be good news.  I was right.  She did an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat.  Actually, there really wasn’t anything but a dark hole showing.  We went home and I was to take it easy.  Tuesday, John and I visited my dad and gave him a birthday present.  While at my parents I suddenly got horrible cramps and started to bleed heavy.  By the time we got home I was hurting bad.  Within an hour I had  passed everything.  It was awful.  There’s no other words to describe it.  I put it somewhere between almost losing both my sons shortly after birth and almost dying myself after having Tesla.  I would rather go through almost dying then losing a baby again.  While it didn’t kill me it did break my heart.  I know these things happen for a reason and that there was most likely something wrong with the baby but it doesn’t help with the pain I feel inside. 

Having another child now or in the future is looking bleek.  I can’t put myself through the stress for the 5th time.  I have 3 beautiful children who all seem to be healthy and happy at this time in their life so I don’t feel the need to push my luck again.   I have the next 18 years of a little girl counting on her Momma so I better shape up cause I can’t ship out.

Story addition:

AFTER I miscarried, my doctor insisted that John take the fetus into the hospital.  I showered while he was gone and Tesla was napping.  When John returned from the hospital he came into our bedroom where I was lying in bed, still in pain.  He said he took the fetus into the hospital and noone seemed to know what to do about it.  I didn’t have much to say until he said he was leaving again. 

 “What do you mean you’re leaving?!  Tesla is going to wake up soon and I am in no shape to take care of a 1 year old!” 

 He responded he had a softball game he HAD to pitch at 6pm.  It was just after 5pm at that moment.

“Are you serious?!  You’re leaving me here with Tesla after I just lost our baby so you can play softball?!?!”

I was crushed at his lack of sympathy and empathy for me, his wife, mother of his living and now passed child.  I realized then John only thought of himself first and always would.  After I expessed my feelings, he did stay home.  I guess guilt managed to affect him.

It’s almost been 4 years since the day I lost a pregnancy.  I don’t anguish like I had in the past, but I will always be saddened by losing my child and realizing how little feelings my husband had.

~P

Not horsing around

Wells Fargo Home Equity Solutions sent me a very sincere letter apologizing for the denial of a home equity modification I applied for.

Holy shit!  I didn’t even know I was applying for a home equity modification!  What the hell is Jhole trying to do now?

According to Beverly, Wells based this denial on the following reason: Based on their review of the current financial documentation you provided, your current income is unable to support a modified payment of the existing account at this time.

I’d claim to be surprised, except I was just at domestics with the hubby.  He boo-hooed about how bad business has been and the documentation he provided backed it up.  I wonder how well documentation will stand up during an audit?  Hmmm,  I really question some figures for the business he provided to domestics. 

 If your situation ever changes, we may be able to reconsider qualifying you for a modification.

I just don’t see this situation changing.  I hate to be negative but, if the first mortgage is 4 months behind, is there a possibility of ever qualifying?  Besides, I don’t want to remortgage! 

If there is a change in your employment or income, please call us right away…

Dear Beverly at Wells Fargo Bank,

   Please do not hold your breath for this call.  While your hours of service offer incredible opportunities to give you a ring, there is no money in my pocket going jing-a-ling-ling.

Pitifully indebted to you,

Patricia

Write and he shall read

I finally got the call I’ve been waiting for!  It’s a message but so worth posting.  Tomorrow I was scheduled for an contempt hearing concerning the business Yellowbook ad.  If you have read any of my previous posts, you know I was very ticked at being accused of something I didn’t do.  This has happened so often in my marriage that it doesn’t even surprise me.

Apparently the easiest way to explain your problems away is to blame them on your wife, whether you are together or not.

Message from my fine lawyer Rob Krug:

Hi Pattie, wanted to let you know over the weekend I received a fax from John’s attorney withdrawling the contempt charges against you.  Apparently whatever you said to his attorney prompted her to look into it further and realize John was not telling her all the facts.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  LIKE JOHN IS EVER HONEST WITH FACTS!!!

I can imagine him freaking out trying to find a way to pin this on me.  I don’t know this for a fact, but I envision him screaming in the office at LaDonna or anyone else nearby for his own inability to know the facts before trumping up charges on me.

My lawyer can send John’s lawyer his bill for all this court drama.

P~ 

Better than a call from Mickey!!!

P.S. I’m also pissed he sold my gazebo I found on Craig’s List. I sanded, stained and sealed it myself.  John has a lot of experience with Craig’s List.