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Jul 29, 2011

Dear Everyone

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Hello Everyone! I like this Breast Cancer Awareness picture.

You may know me personally, be a relative or a friend.  If you know me, that’s awesome!  If not, My parents are Walt and Dolores Crider.  I went to Dover School District K-12 years and married Gary Bonawitz.  Gary and I have 2 sons, Jarrid who is 19 and Zeth, almost 18.  Gary and I have been divorced since 1998, but we are still friends.

Along came Sharon Schwimer into my life.  We became a domestic couple for about two and a half years, then remained friends after the break up.  Sharon (or as I call her Shar) and I had some roughs times, but she is a true friend.

In 2004, by a strange twist of fate, I met John Delauter at Blockbuster video in Dallastown.  We quickly became a couple, he divorced his wife Diane Delauter, now Gieda and I moved in.  A month later, I sold my house.  Three months later, I quit my job with the State and we immediately began to legalize his handyman business into an established moving service.  We were married the day after his divorce was posted in the newspaper.  We had many family members on both sides and I really thought life was going to rock.

It didn’t.  In fact, it’s just been rocky since the day we met.  I am happy to have met John’s friends and family.   Everyone in my life that I am still in touch with is wonderful.  The exception would be John’s brother Mike.  He’s a real ass clown.  (One of his favorite sayings)

My blog is open to anyone who wants to read it.  Comments welcome, even if you don’t want to say who you are.  Please read my other stories….I know the one about my life is the most entertaining, but I am a student.  I need constructive criticism on my writings from other categories than divorce.  Hahahahaha!

More weird, funny and shocking blogs to come!  Thanks for reading!

OXOX,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, Family, Friends, Jarrid, John · Tagged: ,
Jul 29, 2011

Now I know

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Remember this blog?  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/02/21/obsessed-with-everything/

Now I get where John got the idea.  This is Tesla’s hand-me-downs from Heather, John’s girlfriend, daughters.  I don’t mind the hand-me-downs at all!  Thanks so much Heather.  I just think it’s weird you write MOM inside your daughter’s clothes.

Now we all know

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Jul 28, 2011

Off to class

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Just had breakfast with Tesla and chatted about what we want to do tomorrow.  She requested the “big rooster” puzzle and I instantly knew she meant Big Bird puzzle, the character from Sesame Street.  Second on her list is brownies that she picked out at the grocery store.  Tesla picked out the really expensive ones and that’s fine by me. 

That was about it on her list.  My list included going through all her toys and organizing her room.  I told her we would make piles of her toys to keep, throw away and donate.  She smiled and asked, “Can we jump over them?”  🙂  She’s soo funny! 

We discussed her hair-length and she informed me she wants to grow it long, like Mommy’s.  She only wants LaDonna to cut her bangs. 

Ok, Tess just brought Ying up from the garage.  I gotta get to class, and put Ying back in the garage.  He ate an entire ear of corn minus some cob.  Hard to say what his digestive track may be like. 

Math here I come,

~P.

Filed Under: College, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Jul 27, 2011

You know what’s cool?

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It is cool that at pretty much any second I can decide to blog to my readers.  I just stop whatever I’m doing and say….”Hey what’s up?”  For instance, I was checking out my bank account and watching the money disappear.  You know the feeling???

I did have an important check clear my account.

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Looks like I was telling the truth to my future ex-hubby.  The check would be good….not bounce off the walls.  I really don’t know if John sent the check into domestics.  I did get a deposit of $170.35 through PASCDU, but that couldn’t be my check already.  My rent is due and once I pay that and the trash/sewer bill, I’ll have about $86.  I really hope he did send that moving day check to domestics….since he wouldn’t tear it up.

Well, my sister Suz just showed up with Blaine.  My sister is the greatest!  She’s sitting here talking to our mom about how much liquid mom has to drink for some test.  My poor mom has been through hell with her health.  😦  Suz is hanging up and mom is going back to her drinking….

Back to the real world,

~P.

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Facebook, John · Tagged: ,
Jul 26, 2011

Dear John VI

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Drama

Dear John,

This one will be short as I’m dashing off to see my boyfriend, Dale Hollinger.  I’m sure you already have done your research, or at least had LaDonna fill you in.  Isn’t she just a great office manager?  Hopefully she is keeping the books very accurate for everyone’s sake.  Have you given her a raise since I did last?  Back in 2009?  You know she graduated top of her class and I can’t imagine she’s going to stick at the office forever.  Why would she?!

Back to me leaving my home to visit with friends; I miss Tesla.  If she were here tonight, she would get to visit my awesome friends also.  I hope you are spending quality time with Tesla in some fashion, or another.  I want Tesla to have the closeness she has with me, with you.

Our court date is approaching quickly, August 19th, I believe.  Will things get decided so Tesla can start school?  Once we can get over this hurdle, we can take the next leap over divorce.  I have to write Heather soon.  I see her so often with you and Tess.  Does she have a job?  I know how you like your women to stay in the home.

No longer caged,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: , , , ,
Jul 23, 2011

Dear John V

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Drama

Dear John,

Last night I learned you called my former room-mate, John Ott.  It is outrageous that you are calling around, looking for anything to make up a story, for court.  I don’t call your people….. they call, text, email and message me.  Please stop causing drama and wild rumors to spread.  It’s just not following the rules of Kid’s First. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/11/kids-first/

Tesla is what is most important and she has a same, normal home.  Back out of my life and stop this endless drama so I can enjoy writing about all the stupid, mean, backstabbing things you did in the past.

I’m sure as I blog, I will work through my depression, developed after meeting you.  My therapist, Cathy Snelbaker at T.W. Ponessa has been supportive in any decisions I made.  You had the opportunity to attend counseling to work on our marriage.  You chose to stop going saying I would never change and admitting to knowing you couldn’t.  I’ve accepted that, so let’s move on.

I don’t bother any of your peeps, I treat Heather with respect when I see you.  I am nice to her kids and encourage Tesla to think of them as family.  I hope you can keep it together this time.

Stop calling people in my life.  I have enough to write about as life is.

Thank you,

Pattie

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 21, 2011

Test

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This colorblind test has nothing to do with my blog. Hopefully you see the number 3 there.

Text.  Test.  Test.

What the hell is that all about?  I have a math test due, but not until Monday.  So I’m not actually panicking, just reminding myself I should do it now.  I just finished writing my husband a letter (http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/21/dear-john-iv/ ) and should work on my math so I have all weekend to myself with Tesla.  But first, I want to write about something.

Sitting in my bedroom with my “new to me” air conditioner, I want to share a few thoughts while I wait for the gas man to arrive and give me gas.  Yes, it’s been a week since I moved in here and the gas man will finally cometh.

I marvel at the Commonwealth of PA’s welfare program.  While PA isn’t a state it’s often referred to as a State or PA State.  Regardless, there is a welfare system that can easily trap people into giving up in life, just letting the State pay their way.  By taking the time to learn how to use the State assistance program, I have made use of numerous benefits.

The Commonwealth of PA’s assistance program can work for someone who is having some bad luck in life.  My benefits are substantial, including medical insurance, mental health assistance with therapy for depression, dental, tuition money, grants, scholarships, loans, a car purchase, reimbursement of mileage, payment of textbooks and probably even more.  Not all just for me, but Tesla too.  The State will cover my daughter’s allergy tests at Hershey Medical Center because I am one of those people who have fallen on hard times.  My life is a wreck and seems stuck in a rut.

I did notice on the PA child custody website that John could be held accountable for all costs the State covers that they feel he should be attempting, instead of cancelling the little insurance policy Tesla and I did have.  Wouldn’t that be something if he has to reimburse the State?

Life is a test.  An endurance test.  Take it one day at a time.  🙂

Enduring life a little cooler,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 21, 2011

Dear John IV

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I love this pic I "stole" off the internet. She has an entire dear john website.

Dear John,

Thank you for letting me know the check I wrote for my move has been sent to domestics.  While it’s only $106, that’s significant in my little world.  Last night I had a few minutes to go online and check out the mortgages.  About a week or two ago you proudly told me you had caught up on the mortgages.  That was good to hear as it affects my credit as well as yours.  I even was happy for you and your gang to take a little vacation over the weekend I moved in. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/17/dear-john-ii/

Of course, you weren’t telling me the truth.  I see you made many payments to get out of that $10k hole.  I would expect money will show up as earned income first, before you made enough payments to bring the balance down.  Regardless, the mortgages are still behind.  Though I haven’t received any foreclosure notices http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/03/13/act-91-notice/ recently.  Have you?  Maybe it’s this whole “changing my address” so often the Post Office can’t keep up.  At least I am keeping them on their toes.  Just spoke to my mailman yesterday and he updated the mailbox to Patricia A. Crider and I reluctantly added my previous name, Delauter, because I knew I would still get mail with your name in error.  It takes time to get all these little boo-boos fixed when your stuck in a divorce.

Whoops…sorry about that.  I kinda went off a bit over the whole name thing.  It’s just things like this letter from Wells Fargo http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/04/15/not-horsing-around/.  I want my name separated from you.  It’s so simple John.  Our marriage is over and you have started a new life with a new woman.  Our daughter would like both families to be happy.  If you and Heather can be happy together, that’s great.  Super Dooper Great!  Even if that means we all have to start over, or at least fall behind, then recover.  I can do that and so can you!

Okay, good writing to you.  Now and then I still miss you.  I’m not sure why.

Just looking in on the mortgages and finding your bs,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: , , , , , , , ,
Jul 19, 2011

Vic ran away

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Bruiser (rip) Boo (given away) Vic (MIA)

Remember that blog titled Disposable Pets?  http://wp.me/p1j2Ur-cF

Tesla noticed I hung up the picture of her and her black lab, Vic.  She was so excited to see the photo. “That’s my Victors!” she said grinning from ear to ear, followed by,  “He is gone now.”

WHOA!  Where did that come from?  “Where did he go?” I asked.

“He ran away and didn’t get along with the new puppies.  Daddy said he is gone.”  she answered.

Vic ran away?  PLEASE….that dog was to lazy to run away.  Give me a break!  I’m not 5 years old, just Tesla.

~P.

Filed Under: John, Pets, Tesla · Tagged:
Jul 19, 2011

When life is good

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How often do you give a quick reply of “good” when asked how your life is?  “Good” is probably the most often response used.  When we respond is it automatic?  It’s certainly the easiest answer.  People really don’t want to hear about your problems do they?

My friend from highschool, Kym Guss Buchanan wrote in her status update:

Oh Happy Day! Tests came
back…still cancer free! So ready for my fabulous future! Bring it on…so
ready to rumble! Working on making some career goals a reality! Planning more
into the future now. Sharing special times with my hubby and daughter…spending
time with my terrific friends and family…
so much to enjoy!!!! I feel
fabulous and Life is SO good!!!!

That was SO good to read because I get how short life can be.  The wonderful news that Kym is cancer free renews my faith in God and reminds me that good things do happen.

While I struggle daily with not a physical illness, but a mental illness, I love and appreciate all the support I get from my family and friends.  It’s good to know, especially in dealing with depression for the past 3 years, that I have my peeps out there backing me.  Everyday I feel stronger and excited for the future.  I couldn’t do that without my family and friends and that is exactly what I was missing out on in life during my 5 year marriage.

Still unpacking the damn boxes,

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, Friends, high school days, John · Tagged: , ,
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