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Feb 3, 2012

Naked Dude

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It was 1:10 AM on Feb. 3rd, and I was relaxed, near sleep on the couch.  I thought I heard something and opened my eyes.  I heard it again and Ying jumped over me to the floor.  He pitched a fierce barking alert, snarling at the front door and leaping an impressive four feet.  He couldn’t see out the window, hell I barely could.  I expected my sister, Jarrid or Zeth.  There was a man I didn’t recognize at the front door.  I unlocked my front door to see what he wanted and peeked out the crack.

“Whoa!!  Dude is naked!” and I pushed the door shut and grabbed my cellphone.  I dialed 911.  The operator asked the usual questions and I heard my screen door open.  “Don’t come in!’ I yelled.

“Is he trying to enter your home?” she asked.  “Yes!” I replied.  “We have police in the area.  Is he still at your front door?” she asked.  “Yes!  He is naked.” I told her.

“Does he have anything in his hands?”  I looked out and this time I saw his underwear.  “He has underwear on.  He has something in his hand…maybe a t-shirt.”

Dude had to be freezing but I was not opening the door.  Dale came down the steps and I filled him in on what was happening.  He started to open the door and I stopped him.

“Don’t go out there!” I said to him, grabbing his arm.  The operator asked who was there and I told her.  Dude walked away.  I watched as far as I could see and he had to have gone around the back.  I saw the police on Rt 74,  in the parking area behind the townhouse, and one street over in the development behind us.  They had out the search lights.

I hung up with the 911 operator.  I went towards the street waving the police to go behind the townhouses.  They all drove to the rear and I went back inside to look out the back door.  Four minutes and thirty-six seconds and the police were everywhere.  Pretty good response time.  🙂

It didn’t take long and an officer was escorting Dude towards one of my neighbor’s house.  “Oh wow….it’s my neighbor?  Shit, did he just accidently locked himself out of his house?  Oh…. Oh my God!  Did I refuse to help my neighbor and let him out there in the cold.   I didn’t recognize him.  Never saw any of my neighbors in just their underwear.”

 

Dale and I watched with interest to see if he would come out dressed but with handcuffs as an accessory.  I had no idea what was going on.  Dale went back to bed and I stretched back out on the couch.  An officer came to the door at 1:45 and told me the neighbor had been cited with disorderly conduct.  He had a perscription bottle on him with crushed pills.  The police dumped the powder on the ground.

Almost Naked Dude had been acting oddly the night before and the police had spoke to him.  That was the warning.

1:11 AM Incident in undies (white and stretched out of shape)  Disorderly Conduct Fine

4:30 AM  Dude is out in the yard again and the police have the area surrounded.  I don’t know, but I’m guessing this one ended in jail.

ALWAYS KEEP the DOORS of your HOME LOCKED.  This is what happened on New Year’s Eve at my son’s apartment in Red Lion.

http://girlboxer1970.com/2012/01/03/shot-in-his-own-kitchen/

Stay safe and never let anyone into your home if you have reason to believe you could be in danger.  Even if you know them or think you recognize them.

People you know, don’t come to your house at 1 AM in just their underwear.  Now had he been sexy and in a g-string to wow me with a singing telegram….that would have been a

different story.  Yes, a whole different blog.  🙂

I think jockeys are sexy.

~P.

Filed Under: Dale, Just Life · Tagged: , ,
Feb 2, 2012

There is a dog in the hall

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My day went rather well.  Nothing earth-shaking happened and I appreciate the occasional, uneventful day.

First off was Spanish II and we had to do oral presentations.   I spoke as “Maria Gonzalez” about my visit to Cancun.  I  told them about the Mayan ruins, the beautiful beaches, and shopping for hand-made goods.  I took an empty bottle of Kahlua that was shaped like the Aztec architecture in that region, two hand-beaded necklaces, a woven purse, a painted clay dish and the tickets I had for entering the ruins at the city Chichen Itza.  I managed to speak my new name, where I went, what I wore,  what I did, bought, liked…etc.  I earned an 82% and that made me happy.

Second was Document Design class but we had a speaker instead.  She talked about internships, resumes, cover letters…blah blah.  I did my homework for Human Communications during her presentation.  Occasionally I would look up, nod my head and even make a relevent comment.  Other than that, I was absorbed in HumCom and finished the paper before she was even done her speech.

Last class was Writing 202 and we were discussing our topics for research.  My professor asked what my topic was and I said dogs.  I deliberately gave a super broad topic and waited for her to say, “And what about dogs?” to nudge me on with my specifics.

“I want to research skin care for hairless breeds of dogs.  Due to this breed of dog’s extreme tendency to have acne-ridden, dry, skin I hope to find the best way to care for my dog.”

“I see,’ Nancy answered.  “Your dog doesn’t have hair?” she asked.

“Not really,” I answered.

Jumping into the conversation someone yelled out, “Can she bring him in the day she presents?

That’s not really a cool idea.  If I’m giving a presentation, the last thing I want to worry about is Ying peeing on the floor while I talk! 

“Actually, he is in my car right now, I’ll go get him,”  I offered.

I ran out to my car and put Ying on the leash.  We walked down the hallway like we owned the place.  My classmates thought Ying was so cute and so well-behaved.  He walked around the room saying hi to everyone, then curled up at my feet.  At least he behaves in front of crowds.  My example of summarizing a chapter of a story earned me 47/50.  Happy with that too!

Class was over and we beat feet and paws off campus.

Me and Ying…..out.

~P.

 

 

 

Filed Under: College, Pets, Professional Writing Class, Spanish 101 · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Feb 1, 2012

Go see the Principal

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What’s the worst thing a teacher can say to a student?  Go to Principal “Doe’s” office.  That statement strikes fear in all students.

I remember in Dover Middle School,  getting caught with chewing gum in my mouth by Mr. Gohn, not once but twice.  He told me to put the gum on the end of my nose.  This was 7th grade I believe and there was no way in hell I was putting gum on the end of my nose and setting myself up for ridicule by my classmates.  OH HELL NO!  So I refused and Mr. Gohn said, “You have two options, put the gum on your nose or go to Principal Keller’s office.”  I stood up and said, “I’ll go to the office.”  Mr. Gohn paused and said “really?” and I replied, “yes.”   He raised his hands up and said, “well, ok then, go.”

I went to the office and was given detention that afternoon.  Ironically, the assistant principal was on detention duty that day and told us to leave as soon as he walked in the door.  Score one for team Pattie.

Now today was different.  I was told to go see the principal because….I now have to follow Canadochly Elementry school’s 6 day cycle and can only volunteer on day 6, after noon.  For the past three weeks, I had been volunteering in Tesla’s class one day a week on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday.  Ms. Dettinger and I would get in touch and decide a day that worked with my college classes.  Keep in mind, there are parents that come in everyday.   While the children were at music class, Ms. Dettinger asked me out to the hall.  She explained I can come in on day 6 and John can come on day 3.

I started to cry in the hall.  What kind of bullshit is this?  I can’t volunteer in my daughter’s class now because John called the office and laid down some strict schedule for when I can come in.  I see no reason for this restriction.  John has not volunteered in Tesla’s room so far this year.  If he can only make time on “Day 3 after noon” that is his scheduled time and I would respect that.  It should not cause me to lose time in Tesla’s classroom just because he isn’t going on any other days.
Adding salt to my wound, I learn Tesla has not done her homework for the past two days.  My head felt like it was going to rupture.  Why the hell isn’t Tesla getting her homework done?  John won’t let me see Tesla after school, pick her up from school or let me do homework with her.   Yet he isn’t doing homework with her!  How is this happening?  He states I can’t get Tesla after school because she has a strict schedule (and he isn’t allowing me to be part of it.)  Apparently homework isn’t making the schedule either.

I’ll be seeing the principal very soon and getting to the bottom of this.

With a tablet and pencil in hand,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, high school days, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , , ,
Jan 30, 2012

Pollos y Gatos

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chickens (pollos) and cats (gatos)

“Chickens & Cats”  Vacation in Mexico!  Spanish followed by English.

 

El año pasado viajé a Playa del Carmen Méjico por un semana.

Recib una oferta spectacular para  alquilar  un auto para cinco dias.  Sólo cuesta tres mil trescientos ochenta y uno pesos.  ¡Es una ganga!  Conduje mi auto de zona arqueológica de Chichen Itza.  Me gustaba el arte hecho a mano y me compré una bolsa azul y negra.

Nadé en de cenote de Dzitnup.  El agua de cenote es calido y limpio.  Busqué en el parque de nacional marine.  Me gustaban la tortugas gigantes y el pez de colores hermoso.

Muchas mujeres de Maya venden quesadillas para cincuenta pesos.  Yo compré dos y fue deliciosa.  Yo pregunté a la mujer “son de pollos y no gatos.  ¿Verdad?”  ¡Si! ella dicha.  Ellas todas reido conmingo.

Soy Tonto,

~P.

Last year I traveled to Playa del Carmen, Mexico for a week.  I received a spectacular offer to rent a car for five days.  It cost 3,381 pesos.  ($311.00)   It is a bargain!  I drove my car to the archeological zone of Chichen Itza.  I liked the handmade art and a bought a black and blue purse.

I swam in the natural spring of Dzitnup.  The water in the spring was warm and clean.  I scuba dove in the National Marine Park.  I liked the giant turtles and the many colored fish.

Many women of Maya sell quesadillas for fifty pesos.  I buy two and they were delicious.  I questioned the woman “they are of chicken and not cat. True?”   “Yes!” she said.  They all laugh with me.

I am silly,

~P.

 

Filed Under: College, Spanish 101 · Tagged: , , ,
Jan 30, 2012

My favorite class is recess

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Ask a child in kindergarten what their favorite class is and I bet 9 out of 10 say recess.

I have to agree with them.  Recess is a blast!

Here’s how we have fun at recess and in class.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Volunteering in Tesla’s classroom is very rewarding.

~P.

Filed Under: Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jan 29, 2012

Facebook Mad Lib #2

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His Majesty, the King

The year is 17, and Canada`s heart with Indonesia is History.
In his continued efforts to outdo the President of Indonesia, His Majesty, King Harry Potter VIII, has invited some of the country`s most creepy doctors to create for him a dresser fit for the most nude of all fire fighters: himself.
Unfortunately, His Majesty`s purple dogs are turning his once-funny kingdom into Canada`s sexiest pole dancer.  In an act of desperation, Queen Lady Gaga has convinced a silly Dutch police officer to beg her husband`s beloved country with a much-needed blanket.  Only three things stand in the way of this happening: the police officer`s easily offended lollipop; a pair of doctors who may not be who or what they seem; and the king himself.

Run all this news with some ugly and fiesty lagers in our The Scarlet Letter.
Filed Under: Facebook ·
Jan 29, 2012

Facebook Mad Lib #1

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Candle lit deer

Personal Ad Mad Lib Contributed by Dannielle Albert
              I enjoy long, sexy walks on the beach, getting landed in the rain and serendipitous encounters within hospitals. I really like piña coladas mixed with beer, and romantic, candle-lit deer . I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Dale Earnhart. I travel frequently, especially to Argentina, when I am not busy with work. (I am a truck driver.)  I am looking for table and beauty in the form of a Hispanic goddess. She should have the physique of Sharon Stone and the nose of Tracy Meckley. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my horses. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 30 days ago, and I have since become more hairy.
Filed Under: Facebook · Tagged: , , , ,
Jan 28, 2012

Off with his head

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Choosing the next King

Almighty God used his servent Samuel to establish the kingship of Israel.  Samuel was instructed to invite Jesse, a sheep herder to a sacrificial ceremony.  During this ceremony, the future king was to be appointed.  Jesse arrived in Bethlehem with six of his seven sons.

Each son was brought before Samuel for God to decide if he was worthy of the kingship.  Jesse’s six sons were presented and each rejected.  God instructed Samuel to ask for the seventh son.  Jesse had let him in the fields with the herd.  When the youngest son, about seventeen years old arrived, God found him to be worthy of the title “King of Israel.”  David was immediately anointed a chosen man of God.

The Philistine’s were gathered in Judah on one side of a mountain while the Israelites were gathered on the other side of the creek.  The Valley of Elah separated the Philistines from the Israelites and there they engaged in an ongoing war.

The Philistine champion, Goliath of Gath made trip to the valley each morning and evening for forty days.  He was a giant of a man, standing over nine feet tall and armored to the hilt for battle.  He taunted the Israelites challenging them to “choose a man and have him come down to me.  If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us.”

David was in Saul's camp and Goliath in the Philistines camp

David, still a teenager was sent to the battle zone by his father with food and words of encouragement to his seven younger brothers.  When David arrived, he saw and heard the words of the giant Palestine but he did not run in fear.  Fearless, David declares he can slay the giant because he is a chosen servant of God.

The Israelites were dumb-founded by the young man’s bravery but not convinced he would be their saving grace.  They offered him their best spears, swords and armor but David passed on their gifts.  Carrying his shepherds’ staff, he made his way to the creek choosing five smooth stones from the stream and put them in the leather bag at his waist.  David approached Goliath with his sling in his hand and said “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin but I come against you in the name of the Lord.  Today I will strike you down and behead you.”

Enraged, Goliath charged David.  David slipped a stone from his bag and slung it at the Philistine.  The stone struck Goliath in the forehead and he fell, face first, onto the ground.  David ran to the giant’s body, pulled out the dead man’s sword, and sliced off his head.  The Philistine’s retreated in fear and King Saul was pleased.  He appointed David a high rank within the Israelite army.

Michelangelo's "David with the head of Goliath"

 

David was the underdog.  How David stacked up against Goliath?

David:

  • Scrappy teenager
  • Sheep herder
  • Rags for clothes
  • Slingshot and 1 stone
  • Faith in God

Goliath:

  • 9 Foot 6 Inches
  • Trained warrior
  • Fully armored
  • Multiple weapons
  • Defied God

What it boiled down to was faith.  David had faith in God to protect him from Goliath and lead him in slaying the giant who defied God.

Give it up for the little guy!

~P.

Filed Under: College, Professional Writing Class, Religion · Tagged: , , ,
Jan 28, 2012

Money printing and torture

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A Tale of Two Cities

Charles Dickens writes about two cities in his novel, one in France and the other in England during the year 1775.  He contradicts himself in the opening of his novel stating, “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”  The state of good or bad times depended on who you were in that era.

France was printing and spending money wildly, but that didn’t solve the country’s financial problems.  The country had stooped to torture as punishment for committing a crime.  The punishment did not fit the crimes committed.

English government was unorganized and the country was consumed with crime.  The citizens were spooked by religious prophecies and tales about ghosts.  No one was safe from the threat of robbery or the possibility of death in leaving one’s home.

During this year, the people living in these two cities continue forward on the road of life before them regardless of personal danger.

(Summary of Chapter 1)

~P.

Filed Under: College, Professional Writing Class · Tagged: , , , ,
Jan 28, 2012

Take that Friday!

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It’s something everyone dreams of having but rarely ever achieves.

Every new day is a chance to give it another shot.

You start at perfect because you just woke up.

Within seconds you determine your situation.

Alive and …….

 

  •             kissed by Dale as he left for work.  He’s in just so freaking awesome.  I take my turn in the shower at risk.  Dale takes long showers, the water may be cool to cold.  Errr….

  •             ah….the shower is hot!  I grab a pair of jeans and I like how they fit (Goodwill bargain new size 14 Old Navy jeans $5.99,  a YCP T-shirt (L) $5, matching socks, and Nike sneakers (Goodwill, $4.99) and finally my Harley jacket ($350.00 Laugermans; my former life.)

  •              drove my reliable Honda ($42) safely to campus with no red lights and I wasn’t even trying.  Seriously.

  •             pulling into my favorite area to park a student waved and pointed towards her car.  I smiled, put it in reverse and was ready….cause no one but me was getting this prime parking spot!  I grab my book bag and coffee and make a bee line for the doors.  Out of the corner of my eye (perfect vision $24o0. Lasik) I see Allyson Rump, a friend who is involved with the campus newspaper (The Spartan.  Check it out!) and we gravitate towards each other.  I asked how she was and she said good.  She inquired in return and I gushed how awesome my day had been so far.

  •          woke up on time, coffee is made and delicious, car started, no traffic or light issues and I’m ready for the day.  It’s been great.  Allyson stops and says, “I’m going to make it even better!” 

 

  •           for the first time I notice she has a baking tin in her hands and I stop also, taking a swig of my perfect coffee.  “I have cookies!” and she pulls back the tinfoil covering the sugary delights!  Allyson rocks!

  •          continuing towards the humanities building, I see my friend Justin smoking outside, but not 25 feet from the building and I resist the urge to bum a smoke.  I refuse to waste any money on cigarettes but don’t want to become a cig bummer.

 

  •          someone held the entrance door open for me and  I followed a trail of students up a floor.  Again, the door was held open.  Arrived at Geography class, door propped open and took my chosen seat (first seat in the first row, desk and chair not welded together and closest to the door.  I’m the special person in the class.)

 

  •          Books and pen were in my bag and I placed them on my desk, began eating my cookie and  actually had time to jot down some notes for this blog.  I had no specific reason why I wanted to take notes, but I am glad I did.

  •         class wasn’t bad and my professor’s lectures are at least interesting.  She has travelled extensively and I’m wildly jealous.  Fifty minutes later I was out the door first and on my way to Tesla’s school.

  •          I arrived early and had lunch with Tesla and her classmates.  The pizza was pretty damn good but I passed on the carrots.  So did Tesla.  I finished the little bit of pizza Tesla didn’t want to eat.  We went outside for recess and I was surrounded by fifty little kidlings.  We played tag and ran around the playground trying not to crash into each other.  All the kids wanted to be “it” at some point, the bad part was they all wanted to tag me!  Tesla and Bria each held my hand walking back into the school.   

  •      we worked on journaling in Ms. Dettinger’s class.  I don’t just help Tesla of course, but all the kids.  They are so adorable!  You need the patience of a saint to be a teacher though.  Volunteering works perfect for me.

  •       back on the road, listening to my fuzzy sounding radio but thinking at least I have one.  Immediately the radio shuts off and I was WTF?  Thirty seconds pass and it comes back on.  I sighed and rolled my eyes upward, “Yes God, I am thankful for even little things.”

  •        ran into someone I knew and talked a bit about both our divorces.  According to this person, the word is John isn’t to happy with his latest girlfriend.  I had to giggle as it’s not the first time I heard that.  John will never be happy with any female in his life. 

  •       on a whim I stop at a kids clothing consignment shop and find three gymnastics outfits for Tesla.  One is brand new from Danskin!  ($14 total for all three)

  •        called Tesla and told her about the outfits.  She was very excited and wanted to know when I would come pick her up.  I told her I would talk to her dad about spending some time together.  She wanted me to talk to him immediately, but I’ve found email and texting to work much better.  Tesla and I chatted a little more and then she had to go.  It was just awesome seeing Tesla at school and not having to deal with her father, his gf or any of their drama!

 

  •        talked to Dale and we decided to meet at Chili’s for dinner.  We had won a gift card awhile back and not used it yet.  I took a seat at the bar and waited for Dale to arrive.  The classic margarita was soothing and the surrounding smells made my mouth water.  We moved to a booth and had chicken alfredo and steak for dinner.  I fell in love with Chili’s guacamole sauce.   Yummy!  🙂

 

  •        went home, walked Ying, talked to my mom and later to my sister.  Suz is all moved into her new place and lives right up the road from us.  Awesome!  Tesla and Blaine will see each other so much more!

  •       watched some TV with Dale.  This show about a store called Obscura is really bizarre.  I liked it! 

 

  •     climbed into bed, next to my awesome man and realized “in my world, I had just had a perfect day.”

I’ll take that Friday and many more, just like it!

 

Life is good, enjoy,

~P.

 

 

 

Filed Under: classmates, College, Dale, Divorce, Family, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , ,
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