Naked Dude

It was 1:10 AM on Feb. 3rd, and I was relaxed, near sleep on the couch.  I thought I heard something and opened my eyes.  I heard it again and Ying jumped over me to the floor.  He pitched a fierce barking alert, snarling at the front door and leaping an impressive four feet.  He couldn’t see out the window, hell I barely could.  I expected my sister, Jarrid or Zeth.  There was a man I didn’t recognize at the front door.  I unlocked my front door to see what he wanted and peeked out the crack.

“Whoa!!  Dude is naked!” and I pushed the door shut and grabbed my cellphone.  I dialed 911.  The operator asked the usual questions and I heard my screen door open.  “Don’t come in!’ I yelled.

“Is he trying to enter your home?” she asked.  “Yes!” I replied.  “We have police in the area.  Is he still at your front door?” she asked.  “Yes!  He is naked.” I told her.

“Does he have anything in his hands?”  I looked out and this time I saw his underwear.  “He has underwear on.  He has something in his hand…maybe a t-shirt.”

Dude had to be freezing but I was not opening the door.  Dale came down the steps and I filled him in on what was happening.  He started to open the door and I stopped him.

“Don’t go out there!” I said to him, grabbing his arm.  The operator asked who was there and I told her.  Dude walked away.  I watched as far as I could see and he had to have gone around the back.  I saw the police on Rt 74,  in the parking area behind the townhouse, and one street over in the development behind us.  They had out the search lights.

I hung up with the 911 operator.  I went towards the street waving the police to go behind the townhouses.  They all drove to the rear and I went back inside to look out the back door.  Four minutes and thirty-six seconds and the police were everywhere.  Pretty good response time.  🙂

It didn’t take long and an officer was escorting Dude towards one of my neighbor’s house.  “Oh wow….it’s my neighbor?  Shit, did he just accidently locked himself out of his house?  Oh…. Oh my God!  Did I refuse to help my neighbor and let him out there in the cold.   I didn’t recognize him.  Never saw any of my neighbors in just their underwear.”


Dale and I watched with interest to see if he would come out dressed but with handcuffs as an accessory.  I had no idea what was going on.  Dale went back to bed and I stretched back out on the couch.  An officer came to the door at 1:45 and told me the neighbor had been cited with disorderly conduct.  He had a perscription bottle on him with crushed pills.  The police dumped the powder on the ground.

Almost Naked Dude had been acting oddly the night before and the police had spoke to him.  That was the warning.

1:11 AM Incident in undies (white and stretched out of shape)  Disorderly Conduct Fine

4:30 AM  Dude is out in the yard again and the police have the area surrounded.  I don’t know, but I’m guessing this one ended in jail.

ALWAYS KEEP the DOORS of your HOME LOCKED.  This is what happened on New Year’s Eve at my son’s apartment in Red Lion.

Stay safe and never let anyone into your home if you have reason to believe you could be in danger.  Even if you know them or think you recognize them.

People you know, don’t come to your house at 1 AM in just their underwear.  Now had he been sexy and in a g-string to wow me with a singing telegram….that would have been a

different story.  Yes, a whole different blog.  🙂

I think jockeys are sexy.



  1. If a group of chipndales came to my.door in their tighty whities I’d totally be ok opening the door and letting them all in!

Go ahead...take a swing. I'll duck and listen.

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