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Apr 25, 2012

Dear Heather ~4:45 PM

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Dear Heather,

   Where the hell were you at 4:45?  You had to have left my house with my daughter intentionally.  That or you just didn’t know because John is so busy working he can’t even take time to know where you are going with our child, nor when you will be bringing her back.

    How is it that you have my child while my husband is out of town working.  Not only does Tesla miss spending time with me, she misses soccer or any damn other thing Tesla and I wanted to do.  We would not have chosen to run around where ever you have to go with your children.

     Not answering the phone when I call or text is just ignorant.  John doesn’t know what’s going on. He didn’t know you were leaving with Tesla.  And, it doesn’t surprise him that you don’t answer his call either. 

WTH?  How do I know you didn’t kidnap my child?  I could call the cops and be justified, but I won’t do that to my daughter.  It worries me that you are caring for my child.  This is not right. 

Where is Tesla?

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged:
Apr 25, 2012

I didn’t check the mail recently

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Catching up with the wagon

Here’s why….

I can't imagine the letters at the Post Office are good news.

Dear Wells Fargo…guess  you’re upset about the mortgage and want to take the house.  I don’t blame ya’ll.  I rode on out of there years ago…

with no looking back.

Will Heather use her school loans to pay the mortgage again?  Will John sell more of our martial goods?  What has he sold?  (other than pretty  much everything Heather had)

I saw Heather’s house is up for rent!  Maybe they will move there…

Stay tuned,

~P.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: , ,
Apr 25, 2012

more than lenient

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How I still feel

According to the wise one who dictates when I may see Tesla, I was informed he is  “more than lenient” with Tesla’s visits.  Does he mean lenient to me….or to Tess?  Either way, I don’t see much leniency for either.  I think John is permanently stuck in the “Prison Guard Mentality” for life.

Definition of LENIENT Adj.

1: exerting a soothing or easing influence : relieving pain or stress
2: of mild and tolerant disposition; especially: indulgent
— le·nient·lyadverb

lenient [ˈliːnɪənt]

adj

1. showing or characterized by mercy or tolerance

Examples of LENIENT

  1. a teacher who is lenient with students who have misbehaved
  2. Many people felt that the punishment was too lenient.
  3. By giving one more person—the executive—the power to reduce (but not to increase) punishments, our constitutions (both Federal and state) seem to be sending an important message: that in a world in which errors are inevitable, it is better to err on the side of overly lenient, rather than overly harsh, punishment. —Alan M. Dershowitz, New York Times Book Review, 16 July 1989

Does John understand the meaning of lenient?

I usually get notice at the last moment on when I can see Tesla.  Then there are days when I think I will see her and he changes her schedule to suit his.  I believe a set day that Tesla and I know John will be “lenient” with on a weekly basis would be great!

The whining about my Facebook status and blog content can stop, oh wise one.  Even better, just co-operate in sharing Tesla more equally and I won’t have a reason to bitch.  Does he even get sharing?

He does understand Bitterman though.

~P.

 

Filed Under: Dreams, John, Just Life, Tesla · Tagged: , , , ,
Apr 17, 2012

This is what I mean!

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I didn’t see Tesla at school today.  I wrote that earlier.

I guess no one read that blog yet.

Called twice to talk to Tesla before soccer.  Voicemail.

7:30 Tesla returned my call but I was outside.

I return her call and tried to talk with her.  It’s so noisy with Heather and children in the background I could barely make out what she is saying.

She asked if I can get her tomorrow.  I told her I would talk to her dad.  She said that her dad wasn’t home.  He was, because she had his phone.

I’m guessing Heather fetched him because he did eventually answer.

I asked him when his game is tomorrow.  He didn’t know.

Can I see Tesla tomorrow?  He didn’t know what his schedule is.

I asked him why it mattered what his schedule was when I only want to see Tesla.  He responded with, “Didn’t you see her at school today.”   I replied, “Wrong” making a buzzer sound and followed it with, “next?”

John thinks he knows everything.  Even if I did see Tesla today, volunteering in her class, why stop me from spending individual time her the next day?

His follow-up to the school comment….”well you saw her over the weekend.”  He says this in front of Tesla.

How is this not purposely keeping Tesla from spending time with me?

As John and Heather like to tell me, “take it to the courthouse.”

Like I don’t spend enough time in the courthouse with John and Heather.  I even have promises from Heather for a future court hearing.

How about just loosening the grip you two have on Tesla?

Your daily drama does affect Tesla….and probably all the other children in the house.

Dr. Phil….help!

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Apr 16, 2012

When life wears you down

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Life is no piece of cake.  It is not a picnic, nor a party.

Life is gruelling in many ways.  You must mix with others as you go about your day.  Trying to stick to a schedule.  It’s not easy.

Today I rode my motorcycle all the way across the county to volunteer in my daughter’s kindergarten class.  I noticed her father’s truck in the parking lot as I walked to the school entrance.  The secretary buzzed me in and I went to the office to sign the visitor book.  As soon as I walked in Mrs. Shields said, “What can I help you with?”   That’s when I knew something was awry.

Apparently there was a memo sent out by Ms. Dettinger that there would be no more volunteering in her classroom and to disregard the volunteer schedule she had previously given to parents.  I didn’t get the memo.  Either it wasn’t passed on to me or it was mixed in with all the other papers that I missed it.  I asked if I could walk over to the class and say hi but I was denied.  After telling Tesla I was coming in, I felt like shit that I couldn’t even say hi to the class.

What I was thinking was, why is John here?  Yesterday he was working at 7pm and sent Heather to get Tesla.  Today he’s at the school?

Ms. Sinclair was outside eating lunch and called my name.  She is Ms. Dettinger’s teaching assistant.  I walked over to the picnic table and she said, “Didn’t you get the memo?  I sent two home with Tesla.”  I said I didn’t and nothing had been said to me about it.  Next, Ms. Sinclair asked, “What’s her dad doing here?” and I responded, “I have no idea.”

My guess, volunteering in Heather’s kids class……

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Just Life · Tagged: , ,
Apr 10, 2012

This is the shit that pisses me off

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You know how they say family will always be there for you?

Well it’s a crock of shit depending on what family members you are talking about.  I know outside family sees Walt differently than us insiders.  Get over it.  Auntie Jane doesn’t read my blog anymore.  Truth hurts and that was just about her brother.  Maybe she’s afraid I will write about her…

Not only is my father forcing my mother to move to Shippensburg, he is pushing at least 3 of his 4 children so far away from him that he might as well move to China.  We don’t want to speak to Walt and he knows it.  He doesn’t think he is “Sam’s best friend” anymore.

Us three, who have been very active in our mothers life, (and I can speak for us 3 we are in agreement) we don’t want her to move at all.

Now I learn from Mom, that Walt is using Delauter’s A1 Moving Helpers to move them to Shippensburg, PA.  That is near the moon in my eyes…Sam’s and Susan’s eyes also.

We want mom to stay here.  Until the house sells, I’m not sure why Walt is taking everything and moving.

Dear ole Walt uses the moving company that his daughter is half owner of knowing the disaster divorce she is involved in with the other owner…you know…even if it’s for free it pisses me off.  Because everything that needs to be taken care of, before anyone will buy the house, has been paid for with Sam’s money.  I’m not saying Sam is great with handling his money.  Sam needs to tear up this power of attorney Dad has for him.  Sam asked me in the past to be his POA and I said yes.  Suddenly Walt took Sam and became the POA.

Sam needs a POA that is in his best interest.  Not Walt.

It’s a huge disaster in Crider land and we each have our own little mess.  Suz needs to get a job asap, but has been with mom everyday while she recovers from bowel surgery.  I would be very sore if someone cut part of my bowels away.

This was a minor surgery in my Mom’s world.  I love my mom like you wouldn’t believe….she was a great mom while I was growing up.  I have amazing memories with my mom, my friends from school, the neighbors….Dolores Theresa Crider also known as Lorrie, was the bomb as a mom.  Funny, pretty, cooked everyday, loved my friends, was easy to get along with and had a wonderful laugh.  She is still that woman, but very worn down over the years.  Not only her body, but her sense of self.  Walt will do that to a person.  She should have left years ago….but she didn’t and now she feels she can’t.  It doesn’t have anything to do with love.  She said he came back from Vietnam a different man.  End of story.  She filled her life with her children….Walt was there while we grew up.  Mom wanted us around….Walt, not so much.

Anyway..

It seems as though Walt and John have to be buddies.  They are both so self-centered it’s no wonder they still chat.  John doesn’t do things for free.  Hell I had to pay the company to move Tesla and me!  John wanted me to pay cash….there’s a post about it somewhere.  I wound up writing a check to the company and not the employee who worked for me with the move.

Ok, I’m calmer now.  Edit, post…call Mom back.

The two main men I am tied to are royal pain in the ass.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, John · Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Apr 10, 2012

Dear Heather~I’m lovin’ it.

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Dear Heather,

Trying to talk to you is a joke because you don’t make any sense.  Sorry to tell you, John still loves me.  I know you would like to think otherwise.  I thinks it’s a touch sweet that he still cares so deeply.  Don’t beat yourself up over Heather.  I might have been wife #2 but you are girlfriend…..hmmm #12 or so.  Maybe someday you can believe he loves you.  You claim I’m all about money…I’m all about ending this divorce with fairness.  I didn’t come into this marriage with John empty-handed.  So shut your mouth girlfriend….you only know what he tells you.  You really think he’s going to tell you anything that doesn’t make him sound good?!  Like he’s not going to tell you that he thought I looked cute on Easter.  That would crush you….

I don’t want to talk to you about Tesla’s clothes.  Her father should be supplying her clothes.  You don’t need to buy Tesla clothes.  If you want to pay for something, pay me some rent for living in my house.

I don’t know why you showed up for the last 5 minutes of soccer.  It was over…and when Tesla is upset and telling her father she wants to go with mother, don’t interupt Tesla to say, “You’re going home with us.  We are going to play games and have fun!”  You sound pathetic trying to cheer up a little girl who just wants more time with her mom.

As I have learned from many people, you can’t mind your own business.  Eventually I won’t have to deal with you.  Either when Tesla lives with me or John breaks up with you.  (or you find a reason to break up with him.  I don’t see that happening as you need my house to live in….)

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Apr 9, 2012

Easter Sunday~It wasn’t Jesus’ drama.

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I signed the stupid paper stating John was allowing me to have Tesla from 4 PM on Easter Sunday until soccer tonight.  What I don’t understand is why Tesla couldn’t wear her Easter dress for pictures with Dale and I and then change clothes afterwards.  Nope, Heather said to “go buy your own dress for Tesla!”

The dress was a hand-me-down from one of Heather’s kids.  You know, the kids that are not to talk to me but still do and I have no control over it.

So, instead of just sharing the dress on Tesla’s behalf with everyone on Easter, Heather dressed Tesla in this.  Rabbit tail and all.

John said I have to talk to Heather about clothes.  No matter who I must talk to, why would you put that on Tesla and rubber band them to stay up?  TT wears a size 8….not 16-18.   I was so pissed…. Heather doesn’t want to write me a letter (unless maybe her lawyers do it for her) and doesn’t want a taped meeting.  Here is her message to me on John’s cell.  “when u would like to have a 2 way conversation.  u may call me on the home phone.  heather.”  What home phone Heather?  When I lived there it was 717-244-4949.  Do you consider the office number your home number now?  I don’t want to talk to you Heather, I want John to handle the things that have to do with Tesla.

Somedays…

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Apr 9, 2012

Go Diego Go! ~Oxpecker episode

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Best of friends

First get past the fact Oxpecker is in the title of this cartoon and my post.

Second, the other animal in this episode is hippopotamus, Greek for “Water Horse” and called a hippo.  I guess that is close enough to an ox.

No bird on this bull. I totally dig the bull though. lol

Finally, they share a symbiotic relationship. This is close and often long-term interaction between different biological species.  (wiki)

Gather my many friends

I wish Diego spoke more Spanish in the cartoon.  I would love to hear him say  The “oxpecker pecks the bugs off the back of a hippo to survive. ” The fact that this huge animal depends on a little bird to keep the parasites from eating him to death………..all the hippos keep the alligators away by showing their teeth and making loud noises.  If only humans could work together so well.  (no bug eating off of each other though…ew!)

Hippo and his Oxpecker

Tambien, I am jealous of Dora the Explorer’s amazing mochilla.  That chica can pull anything out of that backpack!

Give up the goods mochilla!

Dora is going to help me write my divorce party invitations and she doesn’t even know it.  Can’t she just pull them out of the backpack with everything else?  If she can fit raincoats, umbrellas, snowboards, and more…surely a divorce party invites, balloons and a cake will fit!  I know ella can do it!

Celebrate with Me!

Ok…back to studying Spanish with Tesla.  We are baking brownies too! She thought she had everything in the bowl.  I told her she forgot the egg.  Her solution… LOL

Tesla quickly added the egg to the brownie mix

So many topics in one blogpost!

Adios mi amigos,

~P.

Filed Under: Balloons, College, Divorce, Spanish 101, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Apr 6, 2012

What do cops know?

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Suddenly, my blog has become a hot topic concerning “who knows what about whos past” and “let’s have a judging session here on the Internet for the world to enjoy.”

AWESOME!!!!

I know John loves Tesla and I will not deny him time with her when I do get custody.  I’m the opposite of him and he knows it.  He just doesn’t want to share her.  I knew he would do this if he was awarded custody.  Possibly even Tesla knew if she lived with her dad there would be “difficulties” in seeing her mom.

The judge didn’t spell out everything because; John is supposed to have the responsibility to make sure Tesla spends time with her mother.

LaDonna forgets the judge said, “If this were based on attitude Mr. Delauter, you would lose because you have a bad attitude.”  She also said, “Ms. Crider, you are a good mother and I believe you have a good man in Mr. Hollinger.  Mr. Delauter, you are a good father.  This is not about who the better parent is, but where it is best for Tesla to reside.”  (note Heather’s name wasn’t even raised)

Will the judge think it is best for Tesla to reside with John after all this?  We shall see.

John had no response to why Heather was calling me at 10 PM to tell me how she is going to ruin my life.  Heather honey, John is doing just fine on his own.

Heck, the Lower Township Police said, “He’s not trying to ruin your life, he already did.”    Hey cop…you don’t know jackshit.

My life is just starting again.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
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