Beaver Hole Essay K:Fresh Water

K: Fresh Water- Hours spent splashing in the water.    Not all the splashing is on purpose.  My sister Suz often humors me and tags along on a bridge trip.  The level of the water never seems to make a difference on whether Suz gets wet or not.  Suz is similar to a Weeble Wobble except, she does fall down. 

She is jealous of my graceful ability to leap from rock to rock. 😉  One day at the creek, giving her the benefit of doubt, I encouraged her to “just jump, for crying out loud!”  She appeared to be in slow motion as she teetered for a few seconds on the landing.  Her facial expression of satisfaction was washed away when the rock shifted and her feet flew out in front of her.  She leaped, slipped and dipped in less than ten seconds, which is quick, but I managed to snap a few pictures.

(boohoo, her shorts got wet!)

~P.

Yeah I smashed it

What big eyes you have!

What big eyes you have!

I love my little sister.  She is nine years younger than me.  Growing up, she was annoying.  Now as adults, she is annoying.  LOL  Actually she’s my favorite sister.  My only sister….but she is my girlfriend.  I call her “G”, short for girlfriend.  This way I don’t have to admit we are related. 

Suz is actually very sweet and kind.  I love her to little, itty-bitty pieces.  She IS my sister but when she has her “blonde” moments, which is often, I want to disown her, temporarily. 

For instance, last Friday G is watching TV downstairs.  Downstairs is my bedroom.  I don’t mind that she comes down and watches the cable on my busted up television.  What I DO mind is she is so damn messy.  Dishes, food, wrappers, cups, etc.  You get the idea.  So on Friday, she watching TV and sets her cup on the arm of the lazy boy chair.  The chair where I sit to do homework.  At some point, a full coffee cup dumped into my bookbag and purse.  My notebooks were soaked, my textbooks soaked….I wanted to choke her!!!  Instead, I smashed her coffee cup (sorry bout that G) and cried. 

Cried like a baby, I did.  Not over the coffee cup really.  It’s just the stress of my life being stuck in limbo with the divorce dragging out so long.  I am sorry, I’ll get you another Hershey’s coffee cup.  Kisses and hugs to you Suz.  You know I wasn’t really that upset with spilled coffee into my bookbag.  The only thing that saved you was my laptop and library books weren’t in my bag yet.  🙂

~P

ACT 91 NOTICE

I knew this day was coming.  Didn’t matter how many times John told me not to worry about the house payments.  That’s hard to do since my name is on the mortgage and deed just as his is.  I see now, John wasn’t that worried about it at all. 

Now our house is in foreclosure.  There is 30 days to pay the last three months balance of $6496.59.  The second mortgage is behind also.  Between the two, probably $8400 is past due. 

Am a surprised?  Yes and no.  What surprises me the most is he has JUST moved his new girlfriend in with her FOUR children. Why move her in, especially if the house is in foreclosure? I wonder if this Heather even knows the house is in foreclosure…. 

Kelly just put $10,000 of her own money into my house last year.  Why make changes to a nice house with a new bedroom edition using your own money on a house that isn’t yours?  That’s just stupid!

So now Heather is appreciating all the changes of my house that Kelly just paid for.  Pretty soon, no one will be enjoying the house because the bank will be taking it back.  The ACT 91 NOTICE was very direct.  Pay now or say good bye.

If you can’t support the house you have, at least try to sell it while you can.  Our credit is already ruined.  I can only guess at this point that he plans to file bankruptcy.  It’s not like John and I talk.  He’s to stubborn to listen to anything I have to say. 

When we split up, our finances were at least still in order.  Yet it was always me at fault for everything that was going wrong.  Perhaps skipping on two new four wheelers for himself, two timeshares, an addition to an already large home and replacing the pool would have allowed the house to be saved now.  Listening to what your wife thinks isn’t a bad idea.  Sometimes John would listen, but he would do whatever he wanted anyway.

What “John The Man” wanted was the house, business, money, cars, vacations,  (just add any worldly good here) and it didn’t work out great for him.  Maybe this Act 91 Notice will wake him up and do the right thing….finish with the divorce! 

That is highly unlikely to happen.

ONLY 5 minutes

Only 5 minutes had passed last night since Tesla had called me to say goodnight. I was in the shower and called as soon as I could get dried off and dial the phone. John said she was already settled into bed and he couldn’t disturb her or some lame similar bullshit excuse.

Just about a month or so ago, HE called me at midnight wanting to talk to Tess. MIDNIGHT? How calls at midnight to talk to their child??

But I couldn’t call back at 9:05?!? WTF?! This is his way of controlling things. Just like filing for divorce was to “scare” me into doing what he wanted!!
I’m sorry I have to make Tess call him. It upsets me that she doesn’t want to talk to her dad. I’m sorry she doesn’t ask to call and talk to her Dad’s relatives. That would require him having relatives of his own, wanting to talk to him. I don’t really see his family rallying around him. They would rather ignore his calls. Who would blame them. Hell, I don’t even want to talk to John and avoid seeing him whenever possible. I don’t say this to Tesla ever. I encourage her to call her dad. Just her dad…not whichever woman is in his life (or moving into my house) this week. I don’t tell my daughter what I think of her dad. That’s what my blog allow me do.
How many women’s lives does this man get to fuck up?

~P.

York College, PA slideshow

Random photos….Comment if you know someone!

~P.

Rednecks and water

Beaver Hole was flooded out!  I had to walk through a field to get pictures.  This not so bright driver, tried twice to build up the balls to drive through the flood zone.  I was going to keep snapping pictures until his Jeep shut down from the water rushing in.  Then the creek would have started to sweep him away….  He back ‘er down in the end.  LOL

~P.

Plans with the “new family”

Family pick up time

Tesla didn’t want to go to daycare this morning because her cousin Blaine didn’t have school. 
 Her Aunt Suz said it was fine for her to stay home with Blaine.
  I texted John that Tess didn’t go to daycare at 10:48 AM. 
 
The last I had heard from John was 3/9/11 at 3:36 PM. 
His text was: not sure of the time I will let you know probably around lunch time.
 
TODAY from John I get a text at 12:29 PM.
 gonna pick us up at 1 o’clock this you still at your parents house.
 
I translated this as he wanted to get Tess really early.
  I texted she was there, but when I got home, beating John to the house, Tess wasn’t home. 
 She had gone with her Aunt Suz and brother, Jarrid to drop Blaine off with his dad. 
 Neither Suz nor Jarrid have a phone.
I was yelled at and received a text message that I screwed up his plans with his girlfriend and kids.
I read his text as he would let me know around lunchtime when he would get her.
  So now Tess couldn’t go because he didn’t know when she would be back, and neither did I.
Sorry!!!!
 Now he couldn’t get her until after 6pm.
 
I wasn’t really surprised when my dad said John was outside for Tess at 6:08. 
 What slightly surprised me is he had the nerve to show up with the truck and trailer loaded to the hilt. 
 I guess the family outing was going to the new woman’s house and loading up her shit.
 To move into my house, while Tess and I continue to live in my parents basement.
 
He’s so broke he can’t pay his child support and alimony but he is moving in a new girlfriend?
 And her 4 children!
 That has known for tops, 3 weeks? 
 John thinks this is perfectly acceptable behaviour. 
 I think any rational person would disagree?!?

Midterm blues

My professor returned our midterms today.  Sadly, I didn’t do very well.  I had a feeling it might not get a very good grade because I rushed to finish it.  I started it early so I could get the majority of it done but my prof didn’t return my email concerning the first draft until the night before it was due.  His pc was broke.  So at 9:30 PM with Tesla still awake because I was still awake, I tried to improve it.  Prof said my hurried changes made the essay worse.  Nice…I lowered my grade.

It is very difficult to do homework and study with a 5 year old.  Throw in living with 6 other people in one house and constant divorce drama , custody issues and not receiving any support….it makes everything more difficult.  No excuses though, I will take advantage of his rewrite policy.  He gives a week to rewrite and resubmit.  I will get my grade higher.  It wasn’t failing, but I expect more from myself.

Everything is a mess in my life it seems, but I keep plugging away.  Everyday.  🙂

~P.

What you learn

Gettysburg College held a writer’s summit on Feb. 19th.  I attended the “Speak Up, Write Out” conference with three other students on staff at York College’s Spartan Newspaper and found it to be an enjoyable, learning experience.  The professional guest speakers were happy to share helpful tips on attaining success in the journalism field.

It’s who you know.  The professionals on the panel all stressed how important having contacts has been in their careers. The consensus was attending conferences, meeting guest speakers and remaining in touch with college professors is what made a difference in their own success.

Shoot for the moon.  No matter your career goal, don’t be afraid to take chances.  Send out your resume, submit your work or even apply in person.  The worst thing that can happen, you don’t get the job or receive a “thanks, but no” letter.  One panelist suggested “wallpapering your bedroom with rejection letters” as a way to make some use of them as there will be many.  Don’t feel rejected by these letters.

Internships are important.  Members on the panel all at one time were interns.  They usually weren’t paid, but what they did earn was the knowledge in a work setting in their field.  Learning the ropes as an intern is just another important step towards a career goal.  While interning, make as many contacts as possible.

Learn a second language.  Several different panels agreed Spanish would be the ideal second language, but any second language may be helpful to an employer deciding on who to hire.  Knowing the lingo of writers is also important.  I heard several times that writers are snarky or have snarky comments.  Since the conference I did some research.  Snarky is British slang for “irritible, testy and short.”

Work that cover letter.  Write a sincere, informative cover letter telling what you can do for a company and include personal interests.  Make an impression with your cover letter and resume to stand out and be competitive in their content.  Try to keep your resume to one page but include anything and everything that is relevant in your work history, education and personal interests that could help you get an internship or job.

Network online.  If you want to get your name out there, especially in a writing career, get on the internet.  There are endless websites to use for networking.  It sounded odd hearing the professional panelists pushing for Facebook, Twitter and other social network websites as useful tools in their career.

Enterprising stories.  My last panel session topic of the conference was “journalism in local news.”  Local newspapers in Hanover and Gettysburg do not have enough reporters to cover the news.  An “enterprise story” is an idea for a story a reporter comes up with on their own and runs with it.  Local newspapers often print this type of story. Mainly because the topic is specific, no one else would have written about it.

When you love someone

 

When you love someone

Show respect

I am not the butt of your jokes!

Your words are poison to my ears.

Talk gently

Do you have a soft voice inside?

It’s playing hide and seek.

Them first

Every sentence you speak doesn’t have to start with “I.”

Can you ever be wrong?

Yourself second

I realize second to you is a lost concept.

Just get in line!

Be honest

Try to lie to my face.

I see the bullshit in your eyes.

Allow space

Don’t attach yourself to my side.

We are not conjoined twins.

Love grows

Not in your weedy garden.

Suffocating me to death.