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Aug 22, 2011

Dear Heather IV

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Dear Heather,

  Let’s take some of your comments piece by piece so I can respond properly.

 Was it not you and John that had an affair, was it not you that was engaged to a married man that was still living with his WIFE, was it not you Pattie that pushed another women out of HER own home that SHE build and OWNED!!!

   When I met John I didn’t know he was married.  He didn’t volunteer that information and I actually found out by accident.  I met his wife at Sam Lewis Park about a week after I met John.  I had no idea he had this mad plan in his head to move me and my sons into the house with his wife, step-son and his best friend, Craig.  When he proposed this ridiculous idea, both Diane and I looked at him like he was insane. 

   Now fast forward a little.  There’s only so much I want to write in my blog.  You see Heather, it’s just so bizarre that I have to save it for the book.  

  Diane is living at her sisters and John has packed up what he decided she should take with her.  He effectively moved her out in about a day and immediately pushed for me to move in.  I was caught up in a whirlwind and had no control over what John did.  His actions were reckless and not well thought out but I accepted that he was distraught over the stress of accepting his marriage was over.  He even had me read letters Diane had written him that were proof enough to me that their marriage was already over and it had nothing to do with me.

  Because I am not a judgemental person, I stuck by his side and I fell in love with him, fast and hard.  No one could talk me out of wanting to be with John and he was assertive in wanting me by his side at all times.  Later in life I realized that all this should have been warning signs but I just missed them.   

  John bought Diane and Todd (who was not a child but actually in his 20’s) a mobile home (with cash) and Craig, Diane and Todd all moved there.  John moved my boys and I out of my house in Red Lion into his house in Windsor.  When my sons and I moved in, Diane already had a new home.  She signed off on the house and John and I mortgaged it together because we had to.  He could not mortgage the house without my income. 

Have you said I’m sorry to Johns step-son and ex-wife and meant it?

Actually I have told Diane I was sorry for helping John steam roll over her during the divorce.  We don’t have bad feelings towards each other because she is happy they divorced.  Imagine that?!

The fact is John is SINGLE and has been single for 3 years.

John may act like he is single but trust me, he is married.  Even when we were trying to work things out he was still knocking boots with other people.  John and SINGLE will never exist because he can not handle being single.

You have lived with boyfriends and have a man that lives at your home now.

Wrong….I have never lived with boyfriends and there is not a man who lives in my home now.  Just because his name is on the lease and we would LIKE to live together does not mean he lives here.  Dale visits often but does not live with us….yet.

I am happy for you Heather and I’m glad you could care less about money.  That will make it much easier for you when the divorce does take place.  If I have to pay my lawyer to force John to move forward with the divorce, I will.  It’s just that I don’t have any money sitting around to use right now.

Congratulations on having full custody of your children.  If it were up to Tesla and I, she would live with her momma also!  

This letter is much longer than I normally like to write.  Really, I didn’t even get to comment on all your comments but this is good enough for now.  I see you have an ex-friend who doesn’t mind bringing up your past.  My past is an open book….you’ll be able to buy it one day.  Heck, I’ll even sign it for ya!  I am not ashamed or scared to write about my past, nor would I change it. 

 I have yet to meet one,ONE person that knew Pattie and John during there marriage that has a GOOD thing to say about her (including her father and mother).

Please girlfriend….I don’t believe that for one second and neither will anyone else who reads my blogs.  My dad and I might bang heads often but he is not going to bad-mouth me and my mom has a multitude of good things to say about me.  I am her number one go to when she needs anything.  Don’t you find it strange that John has little to no contact with his family?  John’s mom doesn’t even know Tesla.  Why? Because she doesn’t want to have to deal with John.  How sad is that?!

Just touching on a few of your comments,

~P.

P.S.  Wrecker is spelled with a W.

P.S.S.  Are you and John engaged?  How exciting!!!

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: ,
Aug 21, 2011

Home Dentistry

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My poor sister Suz has a bad tooth.  After suffering in agony for a few days, she finally went to see the dentist.  He gave her two choices: pull the tooth or have a root canal.

Option A cost about $50 and Option B around $600.   Now A will let a hole in her head that she is not looking forward to.  B on the other hand will let a hole in her purse. 

Dale has come up with an Option C.  Home Dentistry using Google and kitchen tools.  I gave him the choice of 4 utensils to perform the surgery and here are his choices.

Delicate Dental Tools

Good luck Suz and don’t forget to open wide!

Hope your mouth feels better,

~P. 

 
 
Filed Under: Dale · Tagged: , ,
Aug 21, 2011

Dear Heather III

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Dear Heather,

      Now that you are giving your opinion on my life, I wanted to drop you a quick note.  You are really hung up on the fact that John and I are still married.  Well, that makes two of us.  Do you understand the reason why he is not moving forward with the divorce?  If you don’t, let me spell it out for you.

M O N E Y

Yes, it’s all about money now.  See in Pennsylvania when two people divorce it’s 50/50.  That’s fifty percent of the assets and fifty percent of the debt.  John and I own a house and business together.  John doesn’t see it that way, but in reality, it’s true.  While the business is still up and running (amazing….I credit LaDonna for that) I don’t receive any income other than the roughly $170.00 deposited into my child support and alimony fund every other week.

I’m not remaining married to John to continue getting alimony.  That $52 a month is pathetic when you consider he just made $17,000 in payments over three months to the mortgage company.  He doesn’t want to move forward with the divorce BECAUSE he would rather just keep all our income for himself.

The most important thing in John’s life is money.  “It’s all about making the donuts” is his favorite phrase.  I never felt the need to throw around money or act like I’m better than others because our business was successful.  People drifted out of my life because they couldn’t deal with hearing the constant banter about money coming  from my husband’s mouth.

I really don’t have an issue with you Heather.  I think you need to butt out when it comes to custody and divorce because you don’t have any say in it.  I see you as just another victim to the “wolf in sheep’s clothing.”  You’ll realize this one day.

Until then….baaah baaah,

~P.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: ,
Aug 20, 2011

Holy Noah’s Ark

By · 1 Comment

Yard sales make my day. 

Where else can you get a bunch of toys that you would probably never buy at Walmart, dirt cheap and make your child happy at the same time?

$3 & plastic animals = happy kid

 We didn’t even have to travel far to find all these goodies.  Along with the animals, I also found a new pair of dress shoes for $1, huge container of play doh, water based paints, paint brushes, jumbo crayons and poster crayons (all for $5) and a huge box of beads and string for $1.

  Just $10 and Tesla is in heaven with her new to her toys!  Who says you can’t make kids happy cheap?!  Lunch for three on the road at McDonald’s cost more than the treasures Tesla picked out at local yard sales.

Yard sale junkies,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Tesla · Tagged: ,
Aug 19, 2011

Reading like Momma

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Big girl book and heels

There has been a huge debate about Tesla and my blogging. 

For the record, she is 5 and can not read.  Don’t let the big girl shoes and book fool you.  I asked her what she was reading and she said “Yinger jumped up and ate the french fries.”

I haven’t read my $1 yard sale, bargain book yet but I am pretty sure that is not a line from Patricia Cornwell’s “The Body Farm” novel.

Bargain books are awesome,

~P.

Filed Under: Tesla · Tagged: ,
Aug 19, 2011

Not received

By · 2 Comments

I called the assistance office this morning because I still haven’t received notice that the funds are available for my college books.  My newest case worker (I’ve had at least 10 now) advised me they had not received my funds request.  I told him that was not possible because I went from the college bookstore with the voided receipt directly to the assistance office, sealed it in an envelope and wrote “special allowance” on the damn envelope and dropped it in the mailbox IN PERSON.

How is it possible for them to lose it within their building?  If people ran their businesses like the state runs its assistance program, all businesses would fold.  I know for a fact the proper paperwork was dropped off, yet they have no record of it.  I have enough bullshit going on in my life without the state adding to the stinking pile!

I ran into York College to get ANOTHER copy of a voided receipt for my books but the bookstore had closed at 11 AM.  Summer hours are much shorter at the bookstore.  So now I have to put it off until Monday, even though I already did this once, and HOPE my funds come in time for me to buy my books before classes start.  College books are not cheap and I appreciate the state’s assistance, but they need to update their system because it’s to easy for the multitude of caseworkers to lose important information dropped off by clients.

No book needed for Square Dancing,

~P.

Filed Under: College · Tagged: , , ,
Aug 18, 2011

Interesting Mix

By · 2 Comments

  Checking out my schedule for fall at York College of PA, I am amazed at the choices I have in my education.  Being an English major I just love anything that requires reading and writing.  Most students hate the reading and writing required during college.  To me, the English language is fascinating.  It has rules concerning how words are formed and used, yet contradicts itself over and over.

   You remember the i before e except after c rule right?  Also, how words become plural and really don’t follow any set rule.  House become houses, yet mouse become mice.  Many words are spelled the same but have different meanings or sound the same but are spelled different.  English is just a confusing mess and I believe considered the hardest language to learn.  I feel fortunate to know and understand English.

   My upcoming classes are Spanish I, Literature of Terror, Cults: New Religious Movements, Writing in Professional Cultures, Art in Sculpture and finally, Square Dancing.  Spanish is a repeat of the summer class I took and passed with a C.  I don’t feel prepared for Spanish II so I chose to repeat Spanish I.  Square Dancing is a gym credit and will wrap up the required 2 credits I need for physical education.  I hope square dancing is as much fun as recreational shooting.

   My meaty classes are Literature, Religion and Writing.  Scary books are my favorite so I determined Literature of Terror should be an awesome class.  I am very interested in religion and just couldn’t pass up the new class Professor Christa Shusko was offering.  A class about new religious movements and with the year 2012 approaching, the timing couldn’t be better!  Finally, my writing class covers writing on the internet, web design etc.

  I am pumped up and can’t wait for classes to start.  My thoughts and energy is being wasted on stressful things like court, divorce and future ex-husbands.  I’d much rather read and think about scary stories and religion!  Keep an eye out for my articles in The Spartan!

Ready to hit the books,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, Religion, York College Spartan · Tagged: , , , , ,
Aug 18, 2011

Dear Dale III

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Dear Dale,

   Thank you for standing by my side during this incredibly stressful time.  I apologize that you are pulled into my drama by an angry man who wants everything for himself and is driven to keep happiness from me. 

    I feel you are a blessing in my life and I am so happy I met you.  Even if I had to go through years of believing there was never going to be a man in my life that I would allow myself to care about. 

   Attorney Kearney tried her best during the contempt hearing to put a smear on your name.  I could tell by the look on John’s face he was certainly hoping you had a criminal past so once again, he would control who could be in my life.  It was just so convenient after the contempt hearing for you to go to the Clerk of Courts and for $11 prove you have no record.  Perhaps John and his young attorney should do more research prior to rushing into the courtroom full of inaccurate information.

   Dale you are a wonderful, sweet man and I look forward to the day all this custody and divorce drama has passed so we can start a normal life together.  Tesla enjoys your company and the time you give us.  It didn’t surprise me when she asked why you didn’t “live” here too.   While I would never assume what Tesla thinks, she made it pretty clear when she said she thinks you should live here also.  At least Tesla and I are on the same page!

Glad you’re in my corner,

~P.

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Aug 17, 2011

Holding onto my faith

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Looking back on the last few years, I struggle to understand why I must continue to live in frustration while the divorce proceedings drag on.  I can not grasp why God would let my daughter wind up going to school at Eastern.  But, I know God is in control and I have deep faith that He knows what He is doing.

I, on the other hand, am lost.  I never wanted all this drama in my life.  I hate having to fight with my future ex-husband on what’s best for our child.  Worse, I have people making decisions in my daughter’s life that I have no control over.

My nights end the same, in prayer.  I pray that God watches over my children, friends and family.  I often fall asleep praying to keep other thoughts from overwhelming me.  Why did I meet this man who has made it his personal goal to make my life hell?

I put my faith in God that there IS a reason for all this.  It just takes time to figure it all out.

Praying hard,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce · Tagged: ,
Aug 16, 2011

A day in court

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Just when I think the worst is over, I’m wrong.  WRONG!  WRONG! WRONG!

Court today was incredibly stressful as I was run through the gamut.  The proceedings  were certainly lively as Judge Dorney spent a lot of time yelling at John Ott, John Delauter and John’s lawyer, Lauren Kearney.  At one point she threatened to find John’s lawyer in contempt if she didn’t move on to the point at hand.

Basically, because I moved to West York and couldn’t give 90 days notice, I was in contempt.  I didn’t drag him into court every time he had someone move into our house with him.  I didn’t drag him into court when he was living with Kelly and refused to give me the address.  And finally, I didn’t drag him into court when he moved Heather into our house with her children.  Maybe I should have….

In the judges closing statement she said something like “If this were to be decided by a parents attitude, Mr. Delauter would lose.  He has a bad attitude.”  Everyone there already knew that fact.

Who wants to live with someone that has a bad attitude? 

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: ,
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