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Aug 20, 2012

Dear John~And the truth is revealed

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Dear John,

We were all wondering (Dale, Zeth, Suz and I) what the heck you were doing at the playground with Tesla so early in the morning.

Well now we all know….YOU were playing softball while our daughter was at the playground by herself.  Even worse, Tesla says there weren’t any other little kids there but there was two big boys.

Why the hell are you letting Tesla at the playground alone while you play softball?  I know how fucking important softball is to you.  Hell, you were ready to blow me off the same day I miscarried with our second child because you had a softball game.  I had to guilt you into staying home with Tesla and I after I lost our baby.  (which you blamed on me)

Obviously you couldn’t watch Tesla while you played ball.  She said she screamed really loud because her arm hurt so bad.  I told her I was sorry she got hurt and she shouldn’t have been there alone.  Her response was, “Daddy said I could.”

Maybe I should be glad she only suffered a broken arm (which needs surgical pins implanted tomorrow.)  It could have been even worse, say someone kidnapping her.  Bob Hoffman stadium isn’t exactly the safest neighborhood for a little girl to be playing alone on a playground.

What the fuck were you thinking?  Oh wait, I know….only about yourself.  To the point you wouldn’t even let Tesla be with me after you were too busy to keep an eye on her to start with.  It’s not like it would have hurt her more to spend the rest of the day with her mom.

Here’s a thought!  You could have called me and told me to meet you at the softball field so you can play your game and Tesla could spend time with me.

God forbid you let me have a little extra time with Tesla.

Once a selfish bastard, always a selfish bastard.

I can’t wait to be divorced from you…..and have custody of our daughter.

~P.

Filed Under: John, Tesla · Tagged: , , , ,
Aug 19, 2012

Dear John~aka Mr. Know It All

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Dear John,

You wonder why I get so pissed off at you.  Did you ever stop to think it’s because you firmly believe you know everything but when it’s convenient, you plead ignorance?  This morning is a great example.

Dale and I stayed up late watching movies (which you probably know since my Facebook is so closely followed by you and your minions) and I forgot to plug my cellphone in.  So this morning when you have Tesla at the playground (and I’m really curious if it was you or Heather since I know Heather takes Tesla to church, not you) and she falls off the monkey bars, you resort to calling Walt to notify me that Tesla is injured.

Really, the only person you know how to get in contact with is my father?  Not that long ago, you had your lawyer pursing Dale as a convicted felon.  You knew his first, middle and last name, birthday, address etc. in an attempt to keep Tesla away from me, yet you don’t have Dale’s phone number?  I know I’ve called you from Dale’s phone.  He’s also in the phone book.  It’s also all over his truck in large letters advertising his computer business.  Amazing how you manage to know everything you possible can about Dale and I except how to contact him if there is an emergency and I can’t be reached.

So you have Dale’s number now that I’ve called you and made a point of you saving it for emergency purposes.  Dale would never have a problem with you calling his cell to relay a message about Tesla.  Unlike that bitch of a girlfriend you continue to entertain.  Heather doesn’t want me to EVER call or text her cell, even when she has Tesla because your off doing whatever it is that makes you happy at the moment.  It’s well-known how you do what you want, when you want.  Hell, you even do who you want with no consequences because you are the king, top dog and big man of your universe.

Now Tesla has a broken left arm.  Not just broken and a cast, but broken so badly she has to have surgery tomorrow.  You knew how much I wanted to see my baby girl this morning at the hospital but would you allow me to come in and see her.  Oh hell no.  She was being discharged and you were leaving immediately even though I was already on the way in.  I said I’d come get her at the house if you weren’t going to wait and you shot that down also.

Our daughter breaks her arm and you won’t even let me see her.  That’s sad John.  Instead, you make her and I wait until the court appointed time of 7PM tonight.  Does that make you feel like you’re in control?  Not allowing mother and daughter to see one another after she suffers a traumatic experience.

The only thing that kept me from completely losing my temper was speaking to Tesla and hearing the pain medication was helping her.  I guess until I pick her up tonight I will remain in the dark concerning what really happened.  Tesla reassured me I can get her at 7 PM, clearly you already pumped that into her head.

I managed to raise two boys who never broke a bone, yet you and your lawyer are constantly doubting my parenting abilities.  Every serious injury Tesla has had happened on your watch.  From four-wheeler accidents to broken arms….maybe it’s time custody is heard by a judge once again.  This time, I’m bringing back-up.  ~P.

Filed Under: John, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , ,
Jul 27, 2012

Dear John~you suck at lying

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Dear John,

By now I would think you’d realize lying to me is a waste of time.  I can see right through your bullshit, even if it’s the thickest bullshit ever.  Did you think I was going to get a big surprise when you showed up at Tesla and my doctor appointment?  I wasn’t surprised.  You’ll always be my stalker, married to you or divorced.  How do I know that?  Because you’ll never get over the fact that I don’t want you.

Did you think I would say, “Oh, sure!  Come on in with Tesla and I for our doctor appointment!” as if we are still happily married and share personal information as married couples do?  I only told you I was taking Tesla to the doctor because the custody order states I must do so.  Obviously you called the doctors to find out what time our appointments were so you could just show up.  When I said you should try notifying me when you take Tesla to the doctor, you response was, “Oh, one time I didn’t tell you.”  I lost count of how many times you whisked her off to the doctor without informing me.

I can pull out her medical records and check.  See I get informed when you take her and I’m not present.  Dr. Carl feels strongly that I should have copies of the appointments because you like to give me incorrect information.

For example, you told me you took her when she fell off the four-wheeler and Dr. C said she was fine.  That was a lie.  In fact, Carl said you never even mentioned she fell or that she had pain in her neck.     Of course you insisted he did diagnose her concerning the fall.  Dr. C gave me a print-out of Tesla’s visit as proof that you never mentioned it.

Then there was that rush appointment concerning the bruising on her arms.  You took her out of school to rush her to the doctors telling Carl I was accusing you of abusing Tesla.  Wow, that was a lie too.  I didn’t say YOU were doing it, but then again, you never had a problem grabbing a hold of me when I didn’t see things your way.

Most recently was the appointment for poison ivy.  It says right in the notes that Tesla got tangled up in the woods riding four-wheelers and caught a very nasty rash.  Before I even knew about the appointment, Tesla told me this: “Daddy says not to tell you I got poison riding in the woods because you will say I can’t ride the four-wheeler.”  Now you want Tesla to lie for you?  Wow, there’s parenting skills.  Teaching your child how to lie to her mother.

When I commented on your new truck today, I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell you can afford a new vehicle.  Our mortgage is still way behind to the tune of over $5,000.  Not that it would stop you from spending money.  You LOVE money and spending it.  It always bothered you that I wasn’t on board to blow wads of money on frivolous items.  I’ve been pretty good at making predictions since you filled for divorce almost four years ago.  I predict my future to be sunny and bright, landing a job after I complete college with flying colors and Tesla is living with me, as she has requested since day one.  I’m not seeing that for you…but keep spending that money you don’t report on your taxes.  It will catch up to you eventually.

You’ll need to pay for Tesla’s lunches once school starts again.  You get enough freebies from the state by putting me in the situation where I can’t get a divorce from your sorry ass.  What freebies?  Tesla’s doctors appointments and medications are all covered by welfare.  Remember when you had to pay out-of-pocket for all our doctor appointments and medications?  Very costly so keeping me in divorce limbo has more benefits to you than going forward with the divorce.  Once that divorce

If you can afford to have a girlfriend and her four kids in our house, you certainly can afford you own child’s lunch.  You were able to afford dragging me to court and lying to get custody.  That means you are responsible for the costs incurred from having custody of Tesla.  I could be a complete asshole and cancel all assistance Tesla gets, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.  I have her best interest in mind.  You only think of yourself and your head and I’m not talking about the one on your shoulders.

Tesla also told me for the second time that you are not letting her call me when she asks.  I never restrict her calls to you.  If anything I urge her to call you.  You should be doing the same instead of trying to make her forget she has a mother.  Heather is NOT her step-mother and her kids aren’t Tesla’s step-siblings.  At the rate you are going they never will be.  Even Heather says she doesn’t know if she would marry you.  I guess living with you is good enough….if she even still wants to do that.  Tough when you learn about the dark side of your boyfriend but you have no where else to go.

Stick to lying to Heather.  She might believe you.

~P.

Filed Under: John · Tagged: , , , ,
May 19, 2012

Dear John~sad sad sad

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Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

I went all the way to Windsor for Tesla’s May Fair this morning.  You knew you had to work, but still wouldn’t let me pick up Tesla insisting Heather was keeping her.

Why did you say to me, “It’s open to the public.  You can go.”?   I only wanted to go with Tesla….

So I go, only to be told Heather isn’t taking Tesla.  I didn’t want to attend the May Fair without my child.

After 3 hours, I left.  Heather wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and you were busy working so that meant zero help as usual.  This could have ALL been arranged days ago when I asked to take her to the May Fair.  Your flexible schedule you brought up so many times in court hasn’t really panned out John.

There was NO reason I couldn’t pick Tesla up at 11AM for the May Fair, other than you and Heather didn’t want me to.  Instead, Tesla had to attend all the practices of the children you and Heather keep telling her are sisters and a brother.

SAD SAD SAD SAD

~P.

Filed Under: John · Tagged: , , ,
Apr 2, 2012

Dear John~ so sorry

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Letters he never learn from

Dear John,

I am SO sorry Tesla didn’t do her homework paper while she was with me this weekend.  We did practice her math, spelling, writing, cutting, pasting, and reading.  The homework was very basic.  Just X out the pictures that don’t start with J and color the ones that do.  That should take Tesla about 2 minutes.  Remind her to write her name on it as she forgets that regularly than doesn’t get credit for doing her homework.  See….non-crisis resolved, Drama King.

What I don’t get is why you feel the need to drive into the townhouses parking area through the exit to chew me a new ass over a two-minute homework paper.  Don’t you realize if you want to tear me a new ass over a homework paper that Tesla knows she needed to do, that’s fine.  Call me after you get home or email or text message me.  You can record yourself bitching at me if you would like.  That way I’ll get the full-blown message, including your scowls and arm-crossing, hand-waving and of course, that Mickey Mouse voice that pops up every time you are aggravated or excited.  Hell, record Heather rolling her eyes and shaking her head at what a failure I am at caring for Tesla this weekend.  Maybe then you two will see how stupid you look.

Your actions only make Tesla feel bad.  Why?  Because she will feel guilty for waiting to do her homework until after she went back with you.  I told her it was fine, she just had to make sure she did it and put her name on it.  We had a very busy weekend with friends and family.  I’ll blog about it eventually.  I know you don’t care, but we had the most fantastic weekend.  It went to quickly.

Here are a few things Tesla said this weekend:

“I don’t want to call my dad.”

“Dad says I can’t call you sometimes.”

“I won’t see you on Easter because Daddy said no.” (This she said on her own BEFORE I even asked you if we could split Easter and she stay overnight to Monday.”

“Dad said to Heather, “I work all day, I don’t want to have to come home and cook too.”

So maybe instead of flipping out over something that is just not worthy of the drama, focus on what your child is saying.  I know she will get her homework done.  What I don’t is how much longer she will respect you for all the drama you and Heather make.  Heather with her “don’t talk to my kids, my kids aren’t going to Tesla’s birthday party.”  What kind of attitude is that?

What I write on my blog is my opinion and I don’t voice my opinions to Tesla.  You on the other hand, actively force your opinions on Tesla by acting like an immature child and pitching a bitch fit in front of her.  Though you swear you don’t, I know you read my blog as you enjoy quoting me.  I know what I wrote, you don’t have to quote me.

Next time, just bitch to Heather.  She’s the only person who wants to hear your squeaky voice.

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Mar 26, 2012

Dear John~ Live within your means

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Dear John,

The title of this blog may need explanation.  You see, when the mortgages are up to $6,000 behind, it boggles my mind that you continue to spend money like it grew on trees.

Reality is you and Tess can’t afford to live in our house with Heather and her children.  If you could afford it I wouldn’t get notices informing me how far behind the mortgages are.  You may want to forget about me, but all those debt collectors surely don’t.

Now with all this money being owed to so many companies, banks, people, etc. I would have thought you would cut back on all the extra-curricular activities and explain to Heather (and kidlings) that there is no money for it.  You might have to find inexpensive ways to entertain your clan.  Gymnastics, dance, soccer, horse-back riding lessons, swimming lessons….all you or Heather’s ideas, are costly.  Are you afraid they won’t love you if you don’t buy or pay for material goods and fun lessons?

I haven’t had money to throw around in years and to be honest with you, neither have you!  You are the only person who doesn’t seem to understand that.  Even LaDonna advised you to stop spending money…not that you would listen LaDonna or anyone else for that matter.  You don’t even listen to your daughter when she asks you repeatedly if she can see her Mommy.

Last night and this morning I tried to talk to you about me just seeing Tesla for a couple hours tonight.  You said she was too busy doing homework and then you are all going for new soccer cleats.  Practices start on Wednesday. will the kids on the team call you Coach John?

I don’t consider watching Tesla practice anything as quality time for her and I.  I would say as her coach, John, this is quality time for you two.  What I don’t get (other than you are selfish) is why I can’t get Tesla on Tuesdays and Thursdays when you play softball.  She should be able to chose if she wants to spend time with her Mom while her Dad plays softball (and I know some games a~re late.  Remember I always went to your ball games?)

Get over yourself, you pee pee head,

~P.

Update:  John made a payment on the secound mortgage earlier in December.  John and Heather went on vacation right before Christmas.    That was the last payment until March and it’s still way behind.  Sigh.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Feb 8, 2012

Dear John~ domestics debacle

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Letters he nevers learns from

Dear John,

It wasn’t good to see you this morning.  I’m sure you felt the same way.

I was surprised when you came alone.  No lawyer in tow today?  I wonder why that is…did you feel you had everything under control yourself?  Or your lawyers weren’t available?  Your lawyers quit?  My lawyer sent him a letter back in December and so far, no response.  You know, I had a lawyer quit a couple of years back when this divorce process was started….by you.  He quit shortly after you emptied our entire house of everything and didn’t tell me.  Was I really surprised you did that?  No.  I didn’t have Tesla with me when I went there for the first time.  I thank God I didn’t because I don’t know how I would have explained where everything was.  You took out everything in 24 hours, even Tesla’s belongings.  I have pictures of this pathetic attempt to control things in the house.  Any respect I still had for you vanished that day.

Back to domestics, did you notice this time Carla was actually showing interest in what exactly our marriage situation is?  Perhaps they are going to look a little deeper at our case?  Or, maybe she was just being nosey ya know?  Asking the questions she did.  You have to admit, it is all fascinating.  The only draw back: it’s our life and what’s left of “our life” is just wrapping it up.  It really pisses me off that I am no longer entitled to alimony because I have a man living in my home. What kind of bullshit is that?  I’m not married to Dale, I’m married to YOU.  It’s not even about the money since it wasn’t that much.  It’s just the damn point.

What blows my mind is that you are going to file for child support.  Even Carla seemed surprised that you are insisting on holding me to pay you support.  You really do want it all don’t you?  The business, the house, our child and support payments to boot.  I tried to talk to you about support and you just refuse to even listen.  All you have to do is sign a piece of paper saying you do not request support.  Is that really asking too much?  The amount you would receive will be just as sad as my hourly rate.  It’s ironic that when we met, you told me to tell my son’s father he didn’t have to pay me the $200 a month support for Jarrid and Zeth.  Do you remember?  Saying to me, “$200 dollars a month is nothing.”  When I asked you what you thought I should have to pay you, your response was, “That’s up to the courts to decide.”  Since when do you want a court to decide anything?!

SO,  instead of me  wasting my time “looking for a job” or making a pitiful hourly wage, just realize how this will affect Tesla.    This will take away my availability to see Tesla, to study hard to keep my GPA high, and take care of my home.  Those are my “jobs” and  I have taken school loans out to the tune of $15,000 so far just to pay rent and live.  Oh, since we are still married, you are responsible for half….

Please take a moment and really think this over.  What’s best for Tesla is to spend time with her parents.  What is best for any child is to spend time with their parents and since we are separated we have to split her time.  It should be as equal as we can make it while living in different school districts.  I’ve never kept Tesla from you and ask that you would do the same for me.  She needs her mother to be part of her schedule, not an after-thought, every other weekend.  The more she sees me, the easier it will be for her to accept that she has to live with you.  She said to me that she told you she wanted to live with me and you told her “no.” Yes, legally, she is in your “custody” and you don’t have to share that time with me.   It is just selfish that you don’t want to.  I don’t ask for unreasonable amounts of time to see Tesla or even over night.  That threat you made, “You better drop this or I won’t let you see her except for every other weekend.”  You are threatening me with seeing her less, because I am asking to see her more than every other weekend.  Why would I drive there if she had no interest in going away with me?  She wants to see me.

There is no reason we can’t work out a schedule for Tesla and I to spend time together on a regular basis.

There is no reason I should have to get a part-time job to pay you support when every cent our moving company makes, you keep.

There is no reason Dale should be held responsible for me when I am still fucking married to you.

I am not saying I think you should have to pay child support to me.  What I am saying is: I think you are requesting child support just to be a jerk.  To make my life harder, which seems to make you happy.  I get that you want me to know you are “in control” of Tesla.  The person who doesn’t get it, is Tesla.  Our divorce is causing too much stress on her.

Let’s make a goal for 2012.  All four of us should try to get divorced from our spouses so we can get on with our lives.  Maybe then, Dale and I CAN get married!

I pray every night for this part of our lives to be finalized.  God doesn’t answer my prayers any faster than your lawyer answers letters.

See you tomorrow 🙂

~P.

Tesla and I are looking forward to Wednesday afternoon and spending time together.  Please allow her and I to spend a few hours together before gymnastics.  It really means a lot to her.

P.S.  I just got off the phone with you.  How dare you tell me to get a job and help support our daughter?  The nerve of you to tell me times are tough when you just took a week’s vacation before Christmas.  You haven’t paid any support since November yet I survived.  Now you don’t have to pay support at all and I will survive.   I can not believe you said “all this time you have to volunteer in Tesla’s class, you could be working.”  It’s crystal clear you are limiting my time with Tesla because you have been “granted” power by Judge Dorney.   You said it yourself on the phone, just now, because you don’t want me part of her routine.

It saddens me that you just don’t get that you are hurting Tesla.  What she says is HER words.  I don’t “tell” her what to say nor do I put ideas in her head.  I give her honest answers to her questions and anything I say, she is free to tell you.    I don’t listen in on your conversations, nor limit how long you talk to Tesla.  You on the other hand, do both.    You have given me permission to take Tesla home after gymnastics.  If that’s all the time you will allow me, I guess there is nothing I can do.  It’s Tesla who will be disappointed she can’t go to dinner with her cousin Blaine because she has to eat dinner at home, on schedule, as a family.  In my humble opinion (which I realize means nothing to you) she should have a night during the week when I can pick her up and we can do things with her cousin, brothers, friends, etc.

Like I said at domestics today, in the long run you’ll see the error in your ways.  You should retake the Kids First Class.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/11/kids-first/  I really don’t think you learned a damn thing.

Also, since you claim not to read my blog, I will email this to you.  That way you, Heather and LaDonna can all have the opportunity to read it together.

~P.

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, Family, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Nov 26, 2011

Dear John~ you frustrate me

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Dear John,

Why would you tell me Tesla’s medicine is in her bag if you hadn’t checked?  It wasn’t in there.  You told me you didn’t even take it out while she was with you.  I know you are in the middle of throwing a party but come on?!

You get Tesla back for 8 hours and already can’t get things right.

Tesla said Heather put the medicine on her face.  Apparently Heather is taking care of Tesla because you are just such a busy man.

See you tomorrow when you drop of her meds.

Yes, I am pissed.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Nov 17, 2011

Dear John~got insurance

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Dear John,

So much of what you say is bullshit, I barely can stomach hearing you talk.  There is little I believe, that you say.

Once again, I wasn’t surprised when you were at the house this morning.  I’m not sure why I even ask if you can meet me in the mornings to exchange Tesla.  Today you were going to be working, but like I said, you were home instead.  Now why was it you couldn’t meet me this morning?

I find it just ironic that when Tesla has any type of appointment for her health, whether physical or mental, you are more worried about the cost more than anything else.  Today, Tesla had to have blood drawn to make sure she wasn’t infected with lyme’s disease by a tick.  Before the painful process of having her little arms stuck twice, the nurse asked for Tesla’s insurance.  I waited a moment to see if you would pipe up with some answer, but you didn’t.  Just waited for me to break out my welfare card.

After the appointment we went our separate ways…Tesla with me and Heather and two of her girls with you.  I’m not sure why Heather and kids needed to tag along.  Perhaps you all had somewhere important to go.

My text to you “it’s nice how me being on welfare keeps your child’s medical bills paid huh?”

Your response made no sense….”I wouldn’t know.  I’m not on welfare.”

I replied “No..but you don’t have a problem using me to get Tesla’s bills paid.”

I find it pathetic that you continue to drag this divorce out.  You use my unfortunate situation to take advantage of the state’s welfare system.  I believe if you could stretch this divorce out for all eternity, you would.  That way you can continue to claim all business proceeds as just your income, never have to settle on our maritial home and have your child’s medical bills all paid, school lunches covered etc.  The $52 a month paid for alimony is much cheaper than paying for health insurance isn’t it?  Meanwhile you and your girlfriend with her 4 kids continue on, as if you don’t have a wife who is waiting for a divorce.

Shame on you for using me, the welfare system and your child for your own benefit.

Your Greed is showing,

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Oct 17, 2011

Dear John Waaah!

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Dear John,

Hey thanks for calling and trying to put me on a guilt trip.  I am so sorry I can’t find Tesla’s dance outfit.  I will look for it as soon as I’m typing this little letter to you; my husband of 6 freaking years now.

So you’re pissed about the 2010 taxes again.  Funny how that payment came to me from your tax returns to catch you up on your arrears.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/09/02/that-bonus-check/  Now you want me to revise my 2010 taxes?  It is not written in the custody agreement who claims Tesla what years until the most recent document which was decreed after I filed my taxes.

You want me to revise them? Take it up with the government.  Explain to the state that you are pissed because you would have gotten more money back.  I didn’t get much money from the government or from you.   You have moved on in life so get over it.

Don’t whine that you can only afford ONE dance outfit for Tesla.  If that’s the case than maybe you should rethink dance classes.  You and Heather spend money right and left.  You will never be able to stop spending money until you are out of it.

Thanks for hanging up on me.  Had you let me finish I would have said, “Tesla’s lunches are now free so stop hounding me for the $1.90 a day.  The state is now paying for her lunches, along with her health insurance, therapist appointments and food for our home.”  You wrecked our life together, not me.  Make up all the excuses you want, tell your story the way you want.  Sorry, you dumped me.

Over it,

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: , , ,
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