Dear John~you suck at lying

Dear John,

By now I would think you’d realize lying to me is a waste of time.  I can see right through your bullshit, even if it’s the thickest bullshit ever.  Did you think I was going to get a big surprise when you showed up at Tesla and my doctor appointment?  I wasn’t surprised.  You’ll always be my stalker, married to you or divorced.  How do I know that?  Because you’ll never get over the fact that I don’t want you.

Did you think I would say, “Oh, sure!  Come on in with Tesla and I for our doctor appointment!” as if we are still happily married and share personal information as married couples do?  I only told you I was taking Tesla to the doctor because the custody order states I must do so.  Obviously you called the doctors to find out what time our appointments were so you could just show up.  When I said you should try notifying me when you take Tesla to the doctor, you response was, “Oh, one time I didn’t tell you.”  I lost count of how many times you whisked her off to the doctor without informing me.

I can pull out her medical records and check.  See I get informed when you take her and I’m not present.  Dr. Carl feels strongly that I should have copies of the appointments because you like to give me incorrect information.

For example, you told me you took her when she fell off the four-wheeler and Dr. C said she was fine.  That was a lie.  In fact, Carl said you never even mentioned she fell or that she had pain in her neck.     Of course you insisted he did diagnose her concerning the fall.  Dr. C gave me a print-out of Tesla’s visit as proof that you never mentioned it.

Then there was that rush appointment concerning the bruising on her arms.  You took her out of school to rush her to the doctors telling Carl I was accusing you of abusing Tesla.  Wow, that was a lie too.  I didn’t say YOU were doing it, but then again, you never had a problem grabbing a hold of me when I didn’t see things your way.

Most recently was the appointment for poison ivy.  It says right in the notes that Tesla got tangled up in the woods riding four-wheelers and caught a very nasty rash.  Before I even knew about the appointment, Tesla told me this: “Daddy says not to tell you I got poison riding in the woods because you will say I can’t ride the four-wheeler.”  Now you want Tesla to lie for you?  Wow, there’s parenting skills.  Teaching your child how to lie to her mother.

When I commented on your new truck today, I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell you can afford a new vehicle.  Our mortgage is still way behind to the tune of over $5,000.  Not that it would stop you from spending money.  You LOVE money and spending it.  It always bothered you that I wasn’t on board to blow wads of money on frivolous items.  I’ve been pretty good at making predictions since you filled for divorce almost four years ago.  I predict my future to be sunny and bright, landing a job after I complete college with flying colors and Tesla is living with me, as she has requested since day one.  I’m not seeing that for you…but keep spending that money you don’t report on your taxes.  It will catch up to you eventually.

You’ll need to pay for Tesla’s lunches once school starts again.  You get enough freebies from the state by putting me in the situation where I can’t get a divorce from your sorry ass.  What freebies?  Tesla’s doctors appointments and medications are all covered by welfare.  Remember when you had to pay out-of-pocket for all our doctor appointments and medications?  Very costly so keeping me in divorce limbo has more benefits to you than going forward with the divorce.  Once that divorce

If you can afford to have a girlfriend and her four kids in our house, you certainly can afford you own child’s lunch.  You were able to afford dragging me to court and lying to get custody.  That means you are responsible for the costs incurred from having custody of Tesla.  I could be a complete asshole and cancel all assistance Tesla gets, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.  I have her best interest in mind.  You only think of yourself and your head and I’m not talking about the one on your shoulders.

Tesla also told me for the second time that you are not letting her call me when she asks.  I never restrict her calls to you.  If anything I urge her to call you.  You should be doing the same instead of trying to make her forget she has a mother.  Heather is NOT her step-mother and her kids aren’t Tesla’s step-siblings.  At the rate you are going they never will be.  Even Heather says she doesn’t know if she would marry you.  I guess living with you is good enough….if she even still wants to do that.  Tough when you learn about the dark side of your boyfriend but you have no where else to go.

Stick to lying to Heather.  She might believe you.



I used to refer to my husband as my stalker.  “I married my stalker” I would say.

John would listen to my phone calls or hide and listen in on my conversation.  He was an expert at sneaking around for being such a big guy.  Of course he could always get someone to “spy” on me if he couldn’t do the “checking up” himself.  I thought once I managed to escape my “prison guard” I wouldn’t have to worry about feeling like I was in prison.

Sure, John let me have a little freedom.  He preferred to go where every I was going or have me in his presence 24-7.  Even after 3 years of separation, he still can’t let go of me and move on.  Maybe it’s the divorce holding him up also.

John invades my dreams and my reality.  Almost every night I dream about John.  Lucky me huh?  Sometimes it’s fighting, sometimes his girlfriends are involved.  Kelly still pops into dream land now and then.  Usually Heather isn’t part of my dreams.  Whew!

Don’t ask me why I dream about my stalker.  I guess I just haven’t shaken him from my subconscious yet….if that is even possible.

I checked my cellphone not to long after I got up from bed.  At 8:58 AM John sent me a text:  “I see your resume classes tomorrow.”

I find that creepy.  Like when he sent me a text at a Revolution’s ballgame that Tesla, Jarrid and I were attending with friends.  John was there too and shortly after I arrived he sent me this text:  “I see you.”  Can you say creeper?????  I can’t believe I married this guy!!

So I sent him a reply to his creepy class text:  “yes” and a little later “how do you see that?”  He never replied.  I’m sure he’s trying to get me to say I won’t have Tesla with me tomorrow and his response will be “then you can’t have her because the court order says she must be in your presence while in my custody.”  Would that surprise me?  NOT AT ALL.

I don’t look into where John is while he has Tesla.  I already know he gets lots of different people to babysit while he is out doing God knows what.  He is just obsessed with this never-ending relationship and how he can control me and Tesla every chance he gets.  You would think with Heather and her 4 children he would be too busy to pay attention to my schedule.

Apparently not,


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