Free lunches on the state?

Doing Nothing

This morning I had a meeting with an enforcement officer at domestics.  At 8 AM…that sucked.

I had already turned in my job search paper so it didn’t take long.  I told the officer I had sent John a text asking how much a month or week he wanted for “child support”  and the response I received was:

“It has nothing to do with what I think you owe.  It’s about doing your fair share.  Doing nothing at all certainly does not mean your share.”

The officer said, “Oh, I remember you now.  You had a case against John originally.”

I told him he was right and he said, “we get a lot of spite cases.”

At least domestics is onto his bullshit.

~P.

don’t squirt me…I need therapy

Summer is here and the heat brings out the crazies.  The craziest of crazies seem to be trying to out do each other.  Cannibals, zombies, murder and more….tell me these aren’t bad signs.

The day of the summer writer….

Sitting on the back porch jamming to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Blizzard of Oz” and it is a beautiful day.  Tesla has mastered the art of riding her bike and is thrilled by all the neighbor kids hanging out with their bicycles.  She is waiting for her best friend and cousin to come over and join them.  They have a stockpile of water guns and can’t wait for the war to begin.  I’ve already warned them not to squirt me because my arm hurts and I go to therapy.  Both statements are true though they have nothing to do with me getting wet by the squirt guns.  It just sounded like a good medical reason at that split second when asked, “Can we squirt you?”  This summer vacation from school is the best ever for me.

I think about my mom and how summer was back in the late 70’s and early 80’s.  Life was good and our little gang that hung out on Bluebird Lane had the world by the ass, we just didn’t know it.  My brother Joe and I were close in age and spent most of our time together.  The neighborhood kids consisted of boys, which was annoying at first, but later kept things very interesting.

Mom was always home with us kidlings.  Joe and I rode our bikes everywhere.  There is no doubt in my mind my well-developed calf muscles are from days and days of riding my bike.  Living in the country had its perks.  The neighbors all knew each other and their children got along better than one could expect.

If the weather was nice, we were outside.  We rode our bikes on the road without wearing a helmet.  We swam in the Conewago Creek and Pinchot Lake without contracting any diseases that we were aware of.  When very thirsty and had no other options, I drank that creek water and survived.

Listening to Meatloaf “Bat out of Hell” now…takes me back to the late 80’s.  I heard about Meatloaf from a friend and co-worker named Melody.  Everyone called her Mel and she had a super cool last name: Devine.  That must have been interesting growing up as Melody Devine.  I don’t think she even sings.

Life is so screwy.  Hit or miss.  Ups and downs.  Excitement and disappointment.  My eight days with Tesla are flying by at lightning speed.  I know I will miss her more than she misses me when she returns to her dad.  She is kept busy there and that is a good thing.  I’m surprised how little John and Tesla have been in contact.  She shows little interest in calling but I offer to dial (or just dial it) for her.  In the past three days he has answered the phone once.  That conversation with Tesla lasted a few seconds ending with, “I’ll call you right back.”  Which never happened.  She didn’t even bother to let a message last night…pushing the End Call button and stating “He can call me.”  Which he hasn’t.

Maybe this is reverse psychology on his part.  If I don’t call or answer her calls, she will miss me and want to come back.  He has taken this route in the past, not with Tesla, but with me.  It’s all part of John being John.  The downside to this type of approach could be the realization that no one misses you.

Ouch,

~P.

One graduates high school, the other kindergarten

It’s officially June 6th…a new day, even if I haven’t shuffled my ass up to bed.  This felt like a runaway day.  Woke up, made coffee, walked Ying, talked to the maintenance guy about my smoke detector, got a shower, went to Tesla’s classroom play.  The kids also read aloud the books they wrote and illustrated.  Tesla wrote about horses and when her dad rode one.  It was very cute.  She did a great job both in the play as a bear and reading her horse story.  Ms. Dettinger had a brief conversation with me privately and I left giving Tesla a hug and kiss and told her I would see her later for her brother’s graduation.  A little while later Ms. Dettinger sent me a text message that the costume parts were hers, not Tesla’s.  Instead of turning around, I stopped at John’s to drop it off.  No one was home so I let it hanging on the door knob.

Horses by Tesla Delauter

About fifteen minutes  prior to Dale and I leaving for Zman to get that diploma, John calls me.  He’s pressing trespassing charges against me for going into our house.  He said he has an “eye-witness” that saw me enter the house.  I told him I’ll take a lie detector test and his “eye witness” can take one and we will see who is lying.  He told me to explain that to the police.   Whatever.

We took Zeth out for dinner, he was hungry for a medium rare steak….I couldn’t get Tesla until 5:30 but then the place got busy and we needed to get going.  John texted asking me if I was going to feed Tesla.  Keep in mind, I asked several times to get her after school.  I had been told originally I couldn’t even take Tesla to her brother’s graduation.  I wrote back she could eat my chicken fingers and we arrived for Tesla at 5:45.

I signed the paper stating I was allowed to have Tesla from 5:30 until 8:30.  The line to the school entrance was so backed-up, Zeth jumped out and walked….he beat us there.  Graduation was packed to the gills.  We parked in the grass in the furthest parking lot at the middle school and walked to the high school.  My dad rolled my mom over with us (she is in a wheelchair) and we settled into the track area at 6:55.

Soon the graduates walked by and I snapped a picture of Zeth.  The ceremony was hard to hear, but the music sounded great.  We saw Zeth get his empty diploma holder and I video-taped all the student tossing their caps.  At 8:50 I texted John we would be leaving soon and it is unbelievably crowed.

Tesla was very proud of her big brother

It was a very long ceremony, from 7pm until 9:15, then we had to wait for Zeth to find his dad and step-mom and make his way back to us.  He had a gift for my mom he made in wood shop.  It was a beautiful clock, hand-made and painted by him.  We walked back to the car ….that took 20 minutes and finally we hit the road to take Tesla back to John.

Dropped of Tesla with no problems and headed back home.  We passed John on the way home.  I’m guessing he was in his elf outfit for softball.  I really didn’t give it much thought other than “he wasn’t going to let me have Tesla for Zeth’s graduation but he’s out playing softball.”  Dale and I hadn’t even been on the road fifteen minutes when John sent me a text, “I’ll be notifying my attorney that you broke the custody agreement.”

I responded with “bitter man” because that’s what this is about.  His personal vendetta: charging me with trespassing for dropping off our daughter’s costume from her play and contempt for running later than 8:30 for Zeth’s graduaton.

Cops on speed dial 1, his lawyer on 2.

~P.

Whos Shoes

When I picked up Tesla Friday at 5 pm, I had to beg John to talk sense into Heather who was refusing to let Tesla wear her sneakers for the weekend.

Why do I have to beg for Tesla to be allowed to wear her sneakers?  Why does Heather have to stand outside my house yelling at me to buy Tesla sneakers if I want her to wear sneakers?

Hey Heather, buy your own fucking house if you want one and get the hell out of mine!

Aren’t Tesla’s shoes, her shoes….or does Heather wear them on the weekends Tesla is with me?

John finally told Heather to let Tesla have her sneakers.  Since when is he the sensible one?

Heather is just John’s bitch…in so many ways.  It’s not like I have to actually write it for people to know this.  By her own actions she shows me, her own children and Tesla what a big, dramatic, bitch she is with all her assholery.

I asked many questions in this blog.  I don’t expect answers.

One, Two….buckle Tesla’s shoe.

~P.

No abuse

The concern I had for the bruising on Tesla’s arms was genuine.  I asked her father what the bruises were from and he never answered.  That made me even more concerned.

I took the advice of a friend and went to Tesla’s school.  The nurse made a few notes and the following day (today) Child Services called and said they were going to talk to Tesla at school.

They called me back today to assure me that they don’t believe Tesla is being abused and Tesla said that her daddy took her to the doctor yesterday afternoon to have her arms checked and they were fine.

WTF!?  I ask and ask about Tesla’s bruises but get no answer.  Suddenly the school agrees there coud be some abuse going on and John rockets Tesla to the doctor’s office (without informing me as the custody order states) to “prove” Tesla is not being abused.

I should have known he would only be out to cover his ass.  I wasn’t looking to prove that “anyone” was abusing Tesla, I just wanted answers. 

The race to have a doctor declare Tesla’s bruised arms as a case of a rough-house girl makes me suspicious.  Her doctor said I am welcome to call and talk to him anytime about Tesla’s appointments, whether John informed me of the appointment or not.

Doc says at this point he doesn’t believe anyone is grabbing up Tesla, and that is a relief.

I just hope they are all correct. 

~P.

Grab Marks

Example of bruising from being “grabbed up”

I went online to search for images of bruising from being grabbed up by the arm.  This is a picture from the Maine educational site for detecting and preventing child abuse.

These pictures are my daughters arms.

Right

Left

The last I saw Tesla was Mother’s Day Sunday.  On the 15th (Tuesday) I began asking to see Tesla and take her to the May Fair on Saturday.  I didn’t see Tesla for a week and finally on Sunday John said I could have her in the afternoon.  I did not expect to see her arms all bruised up and when I call or text John, he ignores me.  I believe someone is grabbing up my child and if John isn’t concerned, maybe there is a reason.

Frustrating!

~P.

Simple Sunday

BIG enough for ya?

I like big pumpkins, I can not lie.

Cook them up and make a pie.

Tesla and I made up this little ditty to the tune of Sir Mix-A-Lots song “Big Butts.” She said Heather got mad when she sang it.  I asked her where she heard it and she said Bria played it for her.  I guess Bria wasn’t supposed to have it….

Maybe Tesla can teach Bria our new version and they will be allowed to sing that instead.  It does sound better than her singing about loving big butts.

Tesla said she did get to the May Fair yesterday but not for very long.  That bothered me since she could have been there for hours with me.

Today John asked if I wanted Tesla.  I of course did and we went for Chinese buffet for lunch.  Finally Tesla has begun requesting restaurants other than “Old McDonald’s Farm” for chicken nuggets, french fries and a chocolate milk.  We went home afterwards and Tesla and I did 8 pages in the scrapbook she won at the May Fair.

Time went quickly and I had to take her back…now with a catchy tune to sing over and over and over…

Summer time soon!

P.

 

Dear John~confusing who?

Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

Tesla and I were happy she spent the night last night.  That was so much better than just getting two hours together.  She naturally complained for a little, but I finally got across to her that we will just have to enjoy the time we get.  One overnight wasn’t enough, she wanted more.  It’s  hard to explain to Tesla why she has to live with mostly you (and the gang) when she wants to live with me.  Telling her a judge decided means nada to Tesla.  I might as well tell her the Wizard of Oz decided.

Enjoy your time with Tesla and stop being so damn rigid with your ridiculous, unrealistic rules and schedule.  Your world revolves around yourself.  It’s so obvious, yet you don’t see it.  I know you better than you know yourself.  I even understand why you are the way you are.  I get why you filed for divorce….and don’t start with the cheap bags of pot you bought for me or the diet pills I was taking back in 2008.  Neither are your reason for filing for divorce.  You know it.  I know it and a select number of people know it.  Obviously Heather doesn’t know or doesn’t get it yet.  It all depends on how honest you were with her about the dissolving of our relationship.

So back to this morning and Tesla, what was the big deal about Tesla and I doing her homework before school?  It wasn’t like she asked if I could come inside my home and help do it.  She was fine with bringing it out to the car and writing on a book or the hood of my car.  You and I both know it is very simple homework.  Well, I assume you know but Tesla does say it’s mostly Heather who does homework with her.  We could have done the homework and I would have been on my way.  Tesla would have her homework done with plenty of time before the bus came to spend with you if you so wished.  I saw Heather’s vehicle in the drive so I suppose she could have even had time with Tesla.

Sadly, Tesla had to come outside in tears because you wouldn’t let her do her homework away from the island in the kitchen.  I was confused.  Why can’t she do her homework with me?  What is the big fucking deal this time?  You take such pleasure in telling me what I can and can’t do with my child just because a judge decided that Tesla should continue living in our house.  You thrive on it I swear.  Thank God the stupid signing for Tesla bullshit has ceased.  I never did hear from my lawyer that your lawyer, or even Heather’s lawyer, sent him a damn thing.

That’s ok, eventually you’ll hear from my lawyer.

~P.

Tesla turns 6

Tesla had a great 6th birthday!  It was great to have all my kidlings together.  The weather wasn’t too bad….a little chilly.  😉   Thanks to all who helped make the day special!   ~P.

 

Wanted her hair curled for the party....and make up. 😉