Just a girl writing in the blogging ring
Who is your best friend Tesla?
You mom!
Awwwww…..who is your second best friend?
Ying!
Laughing…who is your third best friend?
Amanta!
Amanda Hoke is the smartest 3-year-old I know. She calls me Pattie Cakes which I find adorable.
She knows more dinosaur names than I will ever learn.
~P.
Dale, Drew, Tesla and I attended the farm show in Harrisburg.
My first comment is: It is a long walk from the parking area at Harrisburg Community College to the farm complex.
Second comment: It would have taken longer to wait for the free shuttle than walking. Actually, that was Dale’s first comment.
Third comment: The farm show is free and great entertainment for all ages.
Fourth comment: You still need some money for crappy food and silly souvenirs. 🙂
Tesla was in awe of the Clydesdale horses pulling wagons. We stayed for the saddled riders also. Tesla would have stayed forever.
Tess and I bought two cool things. A handmade tutu and a rainbow mohawk hat. I completely agreed with her choices and she looked adorable in that Punky Brewster way.
She wanted to buy two.
Farm Show hats
Bird Angry, Drew Happy
No betting involved
My girl
HACC eagle
We all liked the eagle we passed on the way back to the truck. It’s one of Brad Heilman’s amazing eagles. I recently blogged about a sculpture he did on Druck Valley Rd in York. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/10/18/chainsaw-sculpture/
We had a great day without spending too much money. I enjoy every moment I get with Tesla.
She called me tonight, already missing me. She said she wasn’t allowed to sing songs with me before bed. I heard John in the background say she could sing one song with me. She asked me after when I would be getting her. I told her I would try to talk to her dad. She tried to get him to talk to me but he refused.
Again, I treasure every moment I get.
~P.
I watch that show “Who the bleep did I marry?” and cross my fingers there is never an episode written about me.
Last night I tried to be a supportive co-parent and invited John into my home to talk. I just wanted to know what happened when Tesla wrecked the 4-wheeler. Immediately John confirmed my suspicions by admitting Tesla fell off the atv. He says Tesla didn’t run into him with the atv but just hit bumps in the yard and fell off. The atv continued across the yard without Tess.
Now I don’t know what day this happened but on Friday the sudden doctor appointment for a cold appears to be a bunch of bullshit. According to John, the doctor checked her out for injuries and found nothing. Interestingly enough, there is no documentation on the doctors report even mentioning an atv accident or possible injuries. Nor did John get in writing that the doctor now doesn’t feel Tesla could benefit from art therapy.
I told him I didn’t think Tesla was big enough to ride the atv on her own and her falling off and hurting herself was enough to confirm it for me.
He said, “well when she’s with you, she doesn’t have to ride.” (That makes perfect sense since I don’t have three atvs at home.)
I realized this part of the conversation was going nowhere and told him just to leave. I wanted to hug and kiss Tesla without the goon behind me.
Tesla had on her dance tutu on she picked out at the Harrisburg Farm Show. I asked her if she was going to wear it to dance class tomorrow and she said “yes!”
As John walked out he said, “no dance tomorrow” and I paused closing the door.
“No dance tomorrow either? What about gymnastics on Wednesday? Is she even taking lessons anymore?!” My frustration at his constant changing of Tesla’s schedule was growing by leaps and bounds.
“Actually no. She is starting soccer in February.”
You know how the needle scratching across a record sounds? That is how it felt hearing this. From what I could understand last night, dance and gymnastics have been scrapped and now soccer is the latest interest. I have never, not even a tiny mention, heard from Tesla that she wants to play soccer. She loves dance and gymnastics so why the hell is soccer becoming their replacement? So her favorite activities have now ceased. I imagine it gets expensive having 5 kids in dance and/or gymnastics. I would like to see Tesla stay in at least one of her favorite activities but now that John has a huge family, I guess that’s not possible. Even if I wanted to pay for and take Tesla to dance or gymnastics, he would never agree to it. That would be “losing control” of Tesla’s schedule to me and that is completely unacceptable in his world.
So much was hitting me at that second I couldn’t think straight. What it boiled down to was there was no activity I could attend during the week to see Tesla and when I asked him when I could see her, he said “in two weeks” meaning my weekend to have her. He actually smiled at me when he said that. I said, “you are on a power trip with this custody order. Why would you keep Tesla from seeing me?”
His response: “I’m not keeping her from seeing you. I’m just following the court order. Call the judge, maybe she will let you see Tess on Wednesday.”
Tesla and I hugged and kissed goodbye. We were both shook up by her father’s words. Tesla had just learned that dance and gymnastics were over for her and we wouldn’t be seeing each other for 2 weeks.
Everyone is just a pawn in John’s game of life.
~P.
Dear John,
Again, nothing you do surprises me. I just roll my eyes and continue on with life.
You see, before dinner, Tesla pulled out all the “cool stuff” from her book bag. Arts and crafts and several books. After dinner she pulled out her school papers and was satisfied she was done sharing what she felt was important.
I went through what was left and what do I find? “Telsa’s” parent contacts listing. My name was nowhere to be found, but Heather and her husband are both listed for their children. I also noticed your new email address. Yet when I asked for a personal email you didn’t have one. Just send it to work and when LaDonna checks my email she will let me know. Why would you want LaDonna reading all our emails?
Now Tesla keeps telling me her neck hurts and she has a large black and blue mark on her arm. Oh, and that she ran into you riding the little 4-wheeler then fell off. All I asked her was what was making her neck hurt. I don’t think she was making it up as she was very specific about where it happened in the yard and how she hit you.
Thanks for ignoring my texts messages.
That didn’t surprise me either,
~P.
The new year didn’t start out so great. I was up at 8 AM, waking my little ball of sunshine up so she would be ready when her father arrived at 9 to get her. While she got dressed, I walked Ying.
Ying and I hadn’t been outside long when my stomach began rumbling and my mouth began to water. I recognized those warning signs but it was too late to go back in the house. Linda Blair style, I began puking in the front yard. My eyes watered and stomach heaved uncontrollably. If I hadn’t went to the bathroom before taking Ying out I would have wet my pants. Now I would have been cursing myself for drinking too much on New Years Eve, had I even had one drink! After the wave of nausea passed I sheepishly looked around to see if there were any witness. (no, my head did not spin around) I didn’t see any sign of my neighbors being nosey so I guess Ying was my only witness.
Tesla was dressed when I came back in. We snuggled on the couch until her dad showed up. After a week together, it was hard to see her leave. She didn’t get upset or argue with me about going with her dad. I think she was still half asleep. I saw John pull up so I said my goodbyes and gave hugs and kisses to Tesla before I opened the door for her.
As soon as she went out I said “I love you baby!” and closed the door. The less I have to look at John, with his bird beak nose, wanna be beard and goofy fedora, the better. I found this man attractive at one time? Love is blind.
I am actually psyched about 2012. The Mayan calendar (which is very accurate) predicts the end of the world as we know it to be December 21, 2012. That might freak some people out, but I am fine with that being my last day on earth. What could happen that day that will change the world as we know it? Hard to say, other than it won’t be a flood. 🙂
God Bless everyone with the start of this new year. Times are difficult, the economy sucks and no one should take things granted. Enjoy everyday with the people you love…there may be less than a year left on earth. Tell your friends and family you love them because everyday is precious.
Love you!!
~P.
It’s hard to believe this year flew by so fast. Life passes you by before you know it!
Dale, Tesla and I are watching “Twins” and I’ll be going to the grocery store soon. A few friends are stopping by to ring in the new year.
My year almost ended on a bad note. Tesla and I were getting something to eat at Surefine earlier today. We chose our sandwiches and she talked me into a chocolate donut. I set down our sandwiches and bagged her a donut on the condition she eat her lunch first.
I laid out our lunch on the check out belt and reached in my pocket. Shit….no wallet. I went through all my pockets…no wallet. I asked Tesla if she had my wallet….nope. The likelihood of her having my wallet was slim to none, but I thought I would at least ask.
“I’m going to have to go look for my wallet, I’m sorry.” I told the check out guy and made a bee line for the donuts.
No wallet hiding in the donuts….back to the sandwich cooler….no wallet. FUCK! Now what?!
Then I hear a voice from above…”Patricia Crider please come to the customer service desk.” It wasn’t God.
Some honest, thoughtful person found my wallet somewhere in Surefine and turned it in. God Bless that person!
The couple of dollars in my wallet didn’t matter but all that much, but the cards, license, etc. would have been a pain to replace.
I lost my wallet riding my motorcycle once. A walker found it and turned it into the Northern Regional Police who contacted me the next day. See, there are good people out there.
Even if they are few and far between.
I picked up Tesla at 5 PM tonight. I was a little bit early but it took another 15 minutes or so for her to come out. I walked up to the door three times, and rang the bell. I saw Heather in the house. John saw me at the door and yelled out “she will be out soon” through the glass. A little bit later John and Tesla came out, John carrying a large bag of gifts and Tesla’s school papers. He said he would pick up Tesla at my parents at 11:45. He’s on a tight schedule with Heather’s kids and all.
The gifts inside were for Dale: a cute stocking with a ginormous summer bologna stick, Hershey’s chocolates and walnuts. There was a coupon for Chili’s, buy and adult meal, get a kid’s meal free. It was expired. Not expired, were McD’s coupons. McD’s is his favorite place for quick food and a sweet tea.
I received a huge glass peanut jar. Inside was Christmas tea towels, oven mitt, pot holder, cookie mix, icing, sprinkles, and a cookie cutter. A second small gift was a Christmas ornament. It says Mother & Daughter with a hole for a picture. Hanging from the bottom is beautiful beading and a decorative tag that states: 2004 Hell, that was my first Christmas with John. No baby yet…
There is a gift for Grandma and Grandpa in the bag too.
So at 11:45, Tesla and I will give John and his new girlfriend and kids the gifts we have for them.
Santa,
I need a divorce for Christmas.
Sincerely and seriously,
~P.
Only four days are left until Christmas day. Where does time go!?
Now that the fall semester at YCP is over and we are just waiting patiently for our grades, it dawns on me how close Christmas Day is. Tesla is with her Dad, Heather, and all her kidlings. Somewhere in Erie they are in a water wonderland. It looks awesome and I’m glad Tesla is having this experience. Though not receiving any child support since November 23 is frustrating to say the least.
Meanwhile I am home organizing all these notes, bills, school work and more. It seems endless! I love seeing the pictures of Tesla and can not wait to see her on Friday. Christmas Day we are going to my parents. I only have Tesla until noon. I would love for John to extend my time until two but I doubt he will agree to that. We are texting about exchange time now. I asked him to pick up Tesla at my parents. I don’t know if he will even agree to that.
sigh…Hohoho
At least Tesla will wake up here Christmas morning!!!
Have you been naughty or nice?
~P.
Oh, for shits and giggles…here is what I signed to visit with Tesla for three hours.
On September 4th I blogged about having 20,000 visits to my website. Today, roughly three months later the blogsites visits doubled. Yes doubled. It feels great to have so many people ringside.
I just finished my New Religious Movements final on cult development. It took me an extra day after I lost my fucking thumb drive. I wanted to rip my hair out. The thumb drive was never located so I started with my three page bullshit draft I posted in October. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/10/17/the-church-of-lady-gaga/
Now it is finished and I have to turn it in to Christa Shusko in person by 12:15 PM tomorrow. I am pretty happy with my final but I won’t be publishing it online. I have plans to submit it to a magazine or creative writing book.
What else is new….Tesla called me this evening. She is on her way to Erie with her Dad and rest of the clan. I visited with Tesla yesterday after school. I had to pick her up at the house because John doesn’t want me taking Tesla home when I volunteer. Perhaps he thinks I will show up at Canadocaly and kidnap Tesla. Like I would ruin my life by breaking the court order. What good would that do Tesla?
So I signed the paper under duress. If I didn’t agree to sign it, he was not going to let Tesla leave and if I did leave, I’m sure he would call the police on his cell phone. Lower Windsor Township is number 3 on his speed dial. It basically said John was giving me permission to take Tesla away from the house for three hours and I agree to return her at the stated time. Blah, blah, blah…what the hell is that all about. It sucks having Tesla see me “sign” to see her. What kind of message does that send? I fail to see any section of the custody order that states I have to sign something every time we get some time together. Yes, I get that any time not on my 2 weekends a month is “technically John’s” but wtf is up with signing?
I feel like I’m checking Tesla out of prison. I know she feels our time away is now an escape. She says to me, I can’t stay with you for long. Daddy said I have to come home. I told her I knew that and I was sorry but she will visit with me in a week. A week is a long time she answered and I agreed again. Then a smile came to her face and she said but we are together now! I immediately broke out into Tesla’s trophy song.
I get a trophy! I get a trophy! Tesla and I are together. Tesla gets a trophy too! We giggled our asses off on the way to Chuck E, Cheese and had a blast playing games and eating pizza.
It’s going to a long week until I see my baby girl again. John said he will let her call me everyday. Let’s see if he sticks to his promise.
Schools out for Christmas and I wanna blog!
Merry Christmas to my readers! I love all of you and especially when you comment. Even if someone says something not so nice, I’m fine with that. Why? Because I don’t care what other people think. 🙂 Here’s to 40K visits. Let’s see how long until it doubles again!
Tired…like barely holding up my head.
Zzzzzz,
~P.
Today I received a notice from Domestics that John wants the child support order adjusted. I realized after he was awarded majority custody he would stop paying child support, at least after his arrears were caught up.
John sites he no longer has an obligation to pay child support per Judge Dorney’s decision. He wrote on the “other specific changes” line she has a live in boyfriend. I’m not sure what he is implying, perhaps that Dale pays the bills?
What kills me about this notice is the reason he gave for “said change in circumstances, the Order should be modified as follows:” Support be paid by mother
My only income previously was the support John paid for Tesla and a little bit of alimony. Did he ever hear you can’t get blood from a turnip? No income is no income.
We took Tesla to have allergy testing today. She had a little bit of reaction to outside mold and that was all. Finally some good news. I hope to see Tesla again on Wednesday. She was sad that she couldn’t go home with me. She’s going to a funeral with her dad tonight. I would rather be with my mom than a funeral too.
To pass the time, Tesla took pictures before her test was administered. The actual testing process did not go great. Tesla shrieked in fear at the tiny wand that looked like a fancy toothpick. It didn’t even break the skin. The fall she took earlier in the day while with John was more painful than what John had to hold her still for. It went quickly and she did calm down.
Unreal,
~P.
WOW a truck just hit an electric line across the street. Posting pictures soon. There is hazardous liquid running all over the road from the transformer.
girlboxer1970 