On September 4th I blogged about having 20,000 visits to my website.  Today, roughly three months later the blogsites visits doubled.  Yes doubled.  It feels great to have so many people ringside.

I just finished my New Religious Movements final on cult development.  It took me an extra day after I lost my fucking thumb drive.  I wanted to rip my hair out.  The thumb drive was never located so I started with my three page bullshit draft I posted in October.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/10/17/the-church-of-lady-gaga/

Now it is finished and I have to turn it in to Christa Shusko in person by 12:15 PM tomorrow.  I am pretty happy with my final but I won’t be publishing it online.  I have plans to submit it to a magazine or creative writing book.

What else is new….Tesla called me this evening.  She is on her way to Erie with her Dad and rest of the clan.  I visited with Tesla yesterday after school.  I had to pick her up at the house because John doesn’t want me taking Tesla home when I volunteer.  Perhaps he thinks I will show up at Canadocaly and kidnap Tesla.  Like I would ruin my life by breaking the court order.  What good would that do Tesla?

So I signed the paper under duress.  If I didn’t agree to sign it, he was not going to let Tesla leave and if I did leave, I’m sure he would call the police on his cell phone.  Lower Windsor Township is number 3 on his speed dial.  It basically said John was giving me permission to take Tesla away from the house for three hours and I agree to return her at the stated time.  Blah, blah, blah…what the hell is that all about.   It sucks having Tesla see me “sign” to see her. What kind of message does that send? I fail to see any section of the custody order that states I have to sign something every time we get some time together. Yes, I get that any time not on my 2 weekends a month is “technically John’s” but wtf is up with signing?

I feel like I’m checking Tesla out of prison.  I know she feels our time away is now an escape.  She says to me, I can’t stay with you for long.  Daddy said I have to come home.  I told her I knew that and I was sorry but she will visit with me in a week.  A week is a long time she answered and I agreed again.  Then a smile came to her face and she said but we are together now!  I immediately broke out into Tesla’s trophy song.

I get a trophy!  I get a trophy!  Tesla and I are together.  Tesla gets a trophy too!  We giggled our asses off on the way to Chuck E, Cheese and had a blast playing games and eating pizza.

It’s going to a long week until I see my baby girl again.  John said he will let her call me everyday.  Let’s see if he sticks to his promise.

Schools out for Christmas and I wanna blog!

Merry Christmas to my readers!  I love all of you and especially when you comment.  Even if someone says something not so nice, I’m fine with that.  Why?  Because I don’t care what other people think.  🙂  Here’s to 40K visits.  Let’s see how long until it doubles again!

Tired…like barely holding up my head.




  1. Jennifer Bowers says:

    Pattie, Believe me when I say I feel your pain. I have dealt with most of the same BULLSHIT with my son that you are dealing with in your situation. It really sucks having to beg plead and bargain to see your child. I wish I had the answers for you (hell I wish I had them for me) But know that I sympathize with you and truly know and understand what you are going through and feeling. I think of you often and hope that your misery soon comes to an end.

  2. 40K…wow. I’m nowhere close on those statistics. I hope you are feeling a lot of support from the blogshphere. peace to you during the holiday season. I know how hard it can be.

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