Just a girl writing in the blogging ring
Tesla dressed herself today. At almost 6 years old, she has no problem dressing herself.
I’ve been accused of letting my daughter dress in clothes that don’t match, that are too big, and are boys clothes.
For the record, it’s not me. She picks her own clothes out.
And today, she wanted her clothes to match.
~P.
What Tesla and I did.
Black Squid
Spectacular Spider
If I wanted to visit with Tesla, I had to sign. My six short visits.
Sigh,
~P.
Imagine my surprise when Jarrid told me Thursday he was coming to visit me on Sunday. Since when does he give me notice?! 🙂
We had lunch at my home and engaged in a deep conversation about the universe, God, the Mayan calendar, supernovas, and more. During this conversation, Jarrid brings up that he has been really thinking about going to college. He talked about getting a degree in graphic design and I told him about classes I’ve already taken in design. It’s one of those conversations parents dream of having with their child. Jarrid has come to realize he didn’t apply himself in high school and now as an adult wants to further his education. Good for him!
After lunch we went to my parents house. Dale, Jarrid, my mom and I all played cards. Dale and I kicked their butts. 😉 Jarrid talked to my dad (who was surprisingly pleasant) about Zeth who has signed up for active duty in the Army after graduating this year. I brought up Jarrid’s interest in attending college and my parents were happy to hear he wants to enter college.
On the way home we stopped at my sister’s home. Her and Sam are both sick so we didn’t stay long. Tesla finally called and talked to Jarrid and Blaine. Tesla and Blaine are taking gymnastics together tomorrow.
Finally back to my home and Jarrid began asking me all types of questions about York College. I was happy to share my opinion of YCP ranging from the campus, professors, courses and how to apply. I told him to look online at the college website while we were sitting around talking about it. Jarrid looked at the majors offered and said, “I’m going to apply here.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m starting the application now.”
I can’t put into words how happy I would be having Jarrid attend YCP. Actually, when Jarrid told Tesla, she said, “That’s awesome Jarrid! You can go to school with mom! I’m going to go to school there too!”
How freaking cute is that?!?!
Jarrid applied tonight and is going to his high school to get the records transfered tomorrow. I’m proud of him for taking the first step in improving his future. I also think it’s wonderful he wants to attend the same school as his mom.
Cross your fingers for Jarrid to start in the Fall term!
~P.
Dear John,
Just a quick note for you today. I know you will get it as Heather is right on top of my writing.
Thank you for calling this morning and letting me know in a reasonable amount of time that you would not be taking Tesla to gymnastics. I don’t blame the kids for wanting to play in the snow over going to the gym. I guess my only concern would be, “if they are all sick, why play outside in the cold?”
So the girls are all going to gymnastics on Monday and Wednesday. I’ve already asked if I can spend some time with Tesla on at least one of those days. I realize it’s not part of her schedule, put it should be.
Also I have the Valentine’s Day cards her and I made for her class. I’ll send them with Tesla on Monday, for school on Tuesday.
Please, let’s really focus on what’s best for Tesla. She needs to regularly see me and her blood-related family that will never change over her life. I will treat you with respect if you can do the same for me. That includes keeping your girlfriend on a short leash. I appreciate what she does do for Tesla, but I don’t appreciate her desire to tell me what I can and can’t do.
Thank you,
~P.
Falling in love is so exciting! Love makes you giddy and fogs up the brain in thinking clearly.
Thinking back, I realize just how fogged up I was after falling in love.
That love failed. I don’t think failed is even an accurate word.
Imploded, exploded, fell apart, completely melted down….
All of it hurt me inside. Even now, it hurts.
People can think what they want of me.
Call me an “attention whore” and make accusations that are just ridiculous.
I find it amusing that people “think” they know everything.
So, what did love get me?
My daughter.
I don’t need my future ex-husband.
I have hope my daughter and her father will have a good long-term relationship.
That all falls on him. I loved him and that love meant nothing in the long run.
I gave chance after chance to work things out with professional help.
It’s a shame he doesn’t believe in counseling. Had there been an attempt, perhaps it would have made a difference.
Just because he and I didn’t work out doesn’t mean I shouldn’t see what the love did give me.
My daughter.
~P.
I went to gymnastics tonight, looking forward to seeing Tesla practice. I arrived early and was working on my Spanish while I waited for Tesla to arrive with her father. (Originally, I thought I would get her after school. That was not permitted.) Then I thought I would at least get to drive her home after practice.
Well, that didn’t happen either. At 5:52 PM I get a text from John.
“No gymnastics tonight all children have upset stomachs.”
Are you serious? Eight minutes before gymnastics starts he texts me they aren’t coming. I wrote back, “Why did you wait until now to tell me!? I am at gym already.” He didn’t respond which I expected. I called. Voicemail. 😦
I texted him “Please let tt call me.” No response.
I tried calling again. Voicemail. I let a message asking what is wrong with all the children? Tesla had been complaining of stomach pains over my weekend with her. I let her father know about the pain, low grade fever and what medication I gave her. He called me later, asking again because Tesla was still hurting.
At 8:10 I texted “Please have tt call me.” No response.
I have the right to speak to my daughter. The right to know what is wrong with her and if she is going to be taken to see our doctor.
AND
I want to say goodnight to my child, especially if she doesn’t feel good.
~P.
Dear John,
It wasn’t good to see you this morning. I’m sure you felt the same way.
I was surprised when you came alone. No lawyer in tow today? I wonder why that is…did you feel you had everything under control yourself? Or your lawyers weren’t available? Your lawyers quit? My lawyer sent him a letter back in December and so far, no response. You know, I had a lawyer quit a couple of years back when this divorce process was started….by you. He quit shortly after you emptied our entire house of everything and didn’t tell me. Was I really surprised you did that? No. I didn’t have Tesla with me when I went there for the first time. I thank God I didn’t because I don’t know how I would have explained where everything was. You took out everything in 24 hours, even Tesla’s belongings. I have pictures of this pathetic attempt to control things in the house. Any respect I still had for you vanished that day.
Back to domestics, did you notice this time Carla was actually showing interest in what exactly our marriage situation is? Perhaps they are going to look a little deeper at our case? Or, maybe she was just being nosey ya know? Asking the questions she did. You have to admit, it is all fascinating. The only draw back: it’s our life and what’s left of “our life” is just wrapping it up. It really pisses me off that I am no longer entitled to alimony because I have a man living in my home. What kind of bullshit is that? I’m not married to Dale, I’m married to YOU. It’s not even about the money since it wasn’t that much. It’s just the damn point.
What blows my mind is that you are going to file for child support. Even Carla seemed surprised that you are insisting on holding me to pay you support. You really do want it all don’t you? The business, the house, our child and support payments to boot. I tried to talk to you about support and you just refuse to even listen. All you have to do is sign a piece of paper saying you do not request support. Is that really asking too much? The amount you would receive will be just as sad as my hourly rate. It’s ironic that when we met, you told me to tell my son’s father he didn’t have to pay me the $200 a month support for Jarrid and Zeth. Do you remember? Saying to me, “$200 dollars a month is nothing.” When I asked you what you thought I should have to pay you, your response was, “That’s up to the courts to decide.” Since when do you want a court to decide anything?!
SO, instead of me wasting my time “looking for a job” or making a pitiful hourly wage, just realize how this will affect Tesla. This will take away my availability to see Tesla, to study hard to keep my GPA high, and take care of my home. Those are my “jobs” and I have taken school loans out to the tune of $15,000 so far just to pay rent and live. Oh, since we are still married, you are responsible for half….
Please take a moment and really think this over. What’s best for Tesla is to spend time with her parents. What is best for any child is to spend time with their parents and since we are separated we have to split her time. It should be as equal as we can make it while living in different school districts. I’ve never kept Tesla from you and ask that you would do the same for me. She needs her mother to be part of her schedule, not an after-thought, every other weekend. The more she sees me, the easier it will be for her to accept that she has to live with you. She said to me that she told you she wanted to live with me and you told her “no.” Yes, legally, she is in your “custody” and you don’t have to share that time with me. It is just selfish that you don’t want to. I don’t ask for unreasonable amounts of time to see Tesla or even over night. That threat you made, “You better drop this or I won’t let you see her except for every other weekend.” You are threatening me with seeing her less, because I am asking to see her more than every other weekend. Why would I drive there if she had no interest in going away with me? She wants to see me.
There is no reason we can’t work out a schedule for Tesla and I to spend time together on a regular basis.
There is no reason I should have to get a part-time job to pay you support when every cent our moving company makes, you keep.
There is no reason Dale should be held responsible for me when I am still fucking married to you.
I am not saying I think you should have to pay child support to me. What I am saying is: I think you are requesting child support just to be a jerk. To make my life harder, which seems to make you happy. I get that you want me to know you are “in control” of Tesla. The person who doesn’t get it, is Tesla. Our divorce is causing too much stress on her.
Let’s make a goal for 2012. All four of us should try to get divorced from our spouses so we can get on with our lives. Maybe then, Dale and I CAN get married!
I pray every night for this part of our lives to be finalized. God doesn’t answer my prayers any faster than your lawyer answers letters.
See you tomorrow 🙂
~P.
Tesla and I are looking forward to Wednesday afternoon and spending time together. Please allow her and I to spend a few hours together before gymnastics. It really means a lot to her.
P.S. I just got off the phone with you. How dare you tell me to get a job and help support our daughter? The nerve of you to tell me times are tough when you just took a week’s vacation before Christmas. You haven’t paid any support since November yet I survived. Now you don’t have to pay support at all and I will survive. I can not believe you said “all this time you have to volunteer in Tesla’s class, you could be working.” It’s crystal clear you are limiting my time with Tesla because you have been “granted” power by Judge Dorney. You said it yourself on the phone, just now, because you don’t want me part of her routine.
It saddens me that you just don’t get that you are hurting Tesla. What she says is HER words. I don’t “tell” her what to say nor do I put ideas in her head. I give her honest answers to her questions and anything I say, she is free to tell you. I don’t listen in on your conversations, nor limit how long you talk to Tesla. You on the other hand, do both. You have given me permission to take Tesla home after gymnastics. If that’s all the time you will allow me, I guess there is nothing I can do. It’s Tesla who will be disappointed she can’t go to dinner with her cousin Blaine because she has to eat dinner at home, on schedule, as a family. In my humble opinion (which I realize means nothing to you) she should have a night during the week when I can pick her up and we can do things with her cousin, brothers, friends, etc.
Like I said at domestics today, in the long run you’ll see the error in your ways. You should retake the Kids First Class. http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/11/kids-first/ I really don’t think you learned a damn thing.
Also, since you claim not to read my blog, I will email this to you. That way you, Heather and LaDonna can all have the opportunity to read it together.
~P.
****Caution John**** You may not want to read how happy I am in this blog.
My Top 10 of Dale Hollinger:
10. He’s on Team Pattie. Bless his heart and patience, I guess I’m worth waiting for cause he is my #1
9. What a crazy sense of humor. Occasionally I have to make you stop making me-laugh cause it hurts.
8. He is one smart man. I have no idea what all that computer gibberish is that you talk about everyday, but you’re good at what you do.
7. Tattoos, pierced nipples and scars! Oh my!
6. Over the past. It doesn’t matter if it’s your childhood, the accident, ex-wives or ex-girlfriends, Dale is over it.
5. Dishwasher. Bless his soul, he does them by hand.
4. Respectable guy. Helps people out, treats people well.
3. Amazing lover. He brings a whole new level to multiple orgasms.
2. Resists the drama. Bullshit is always flying, he respects me by not letting himself be drawn in.
1. Love. I love him and he loves me. He really does love me.
Not that fake-ass love I fell for in the past.
~P.
This is just a little bit weird to me but…..nothing surprises me.
I just spoke with the principal at Tesla’s school. Suddenly, there is no restriction to my volunteering. I may come anyday, whether John volunteers that day or not. The principal made it sound as though there had been miscommunication between her and Ms. Dettinger. I don’t think it was a communication problem between the two of them….but Ms. Dettinger seems to have been thrown under the bus.
The principal said, “You both are equally allowed to come to the school. As adults, there should not be an issue.”
I most certainly agreed with her. I am relieved and thrilled to feel welcome in Tesla’s classroom again.
One in my favor,
~P.
girlboxer1970 