This made me think back…
Jan 7, 2013
Dear John~Selfish as always
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Letters he never learns from
Dear John,
Why do you have to be so damn selfish? Our child is not property. You have had Tesla for the past 3 weekends and yes, you allowed me to spend more than the 24 hours the custody order grants over Christmas. I suppose you are looking for accolades. Sorry, not going to get them from me.
Even after you know how sick I was in the hospital and how little time Tesla and I had together, you still want to throw in my face that you are following the custody order to the T. You love being the enforcer but what are you really enforcing? Some bullshit custody order that greatly restricts Tesla’s visitation with me without your approval. You eat that shit up.
Here is what your downfall will be:
1. Your need to be in control of everything.
2. Your need to make yourself the most important person in the room.
3. Your desire to withhold your only child from her mother for no sound reason.
4. Your lack of moving forward with our divorce.
5. Your endless disregard for Tesla’s wishes.
It will all come back to bite you in the ass, as it should. After almost dying once again at a hospital, I would think you would realize just how short life can be.
All I asked is if I could see Tesla a few hours and you said no. You don’t care how much I miss her, especially after a near death experience. You don’t care how much Tesla misses me.
While I can’t read your mind I can take a guess at what you thought.
“Damn, if only the bitch had died my life would be so much easier.”
The world didn’t end and I’m not dead.
Chalk two up for me.
~P.
P.S. Has lightning ever struck Chapel Church or don’t you attend with Heather, Tesla and crew?
P.S.S. The bigger you are, the harder you fall. Try not to create a crater.
P.S.S.S. I checked the mortgage today. It’s about $8k in the arrears. Will Heather be taking out another student loan to catch things up?
Nov 28, 2012
Dear John~Tell Your Friends
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I know exactly what I ain’t
I put it here in this complaint
You think my childhood passion
Just needs a pan to flash in
Cash in, you sinner — I got patience like a saint
It shouldn’t get me but it does
I only bring it up because
I know the way you pander
To any second-hander
Some slander how I’m not the lock you thought I was
Heard what you say about me
You’re better off without me
Heard I was beggin’ you to stay
Don’t have to do this, do we?
Each word gets right back to me
This town’s too small for you to say
(And since you’ll say it anyway)
You can tell your friends that I changed
Heard what you said about me
You’re better off without me
Heard I was beggin’ you to stay
So we’re above this, are we?
Why won’t you say you’re sorry?
I get more sorry every day
You can tell your friends that I changed
You’re wrong
And I’m right
And that won’t change
Not even if we fight
I’ll take
That bet
And this will be
The last of me you get
Offered the riches
That went along with the realm
A seat at the table
Even a turn at the helm
Just not too certain
About the points that you’re sure on
’Cause you know “negative feedback”
Is such an oxy-damned-moron
You’re there
And I’m here
And that’s the long
And short of it, my dear
I live
This way
And that is all
Her highness has to say
Offered the riches
That went along with the realm
A seat at the table
Even a turn at the helm
But that bad machinery’d
Only tear me to tatters
And I got plans for the future
Well, you know — not that it matters
Offered the riches
That went along with the realm
A seat at the table
Even a turn at the helm
Whispering voices
Too soft and soothing to measure
“Why be a regional hero
When you’re a national treasure?”
And you can tell your friends that I changed
Lyrics by Mary Prankster
Nov 24, 2012
Dear John~Stop contacting my family
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Letters he nevers learns from
Dear John,
This is the last straw. They had to medicate my mother in rehab after your surprise visit. Or should I call it an attack? Do not call my parents to take Tesla to them. They have a daughter (AS IN ME) who will gladly take their granddaughter (TESLA) to see them.
My dad is a drama king, just like you. It is my mother who suffers. She doesn’t give a shit if you’re mad at her or not. What she does give a shit about is you staying out of her physical therapy room, interrupting like you have something important to say. If my mom talks to Tesla, butt out and let them talk. You listening in is causing all types of problems.
As far as your refusing to let Tesla and I spend time together over the Thanksgiving break from our schools, you don’t surprise me. If you feel like it’s a win for you to separate us over extended amounts of time….well that wouldn’t surprise me either.
Stop contacting everyone in my family, including Dale.
Not dearly yours,
~P
Nov 21, 2012
When communication breaks down into ?
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Communication is basically any form of sharing ideas. Until there is something that stops it. Such as wife to husband:
Me: November 8th: Leaving Chuck E now. Sorry. (Tess and I were leaving Chuck E Cheese, sorry we were running late.) 7:06 PM
From that day I texted him 6 times about seeing or talking to Tesla. On November 16 at 3:25 PM I asked if Dale could pick Tesla up after he is done in his office. They would then meet me at York College for Spartapalooza. John responded with: We will see Dale at 5.
Dale had already left the office and showed up (not to John’s surprise. He knew Dale was on the way) only to have John give him a hard time about getting Tesla. He also told Dale Tesla has bad poison ivy from helping him in the woods. She has poison ivy all over. Poor kid.
John also tells Dale he found an antidepressant pill in the couch and wanted to know what pills I was taking to see if it matched. Dale ACTUALLY went and looked at my scripts. (DUH…see how John gets people to do what he wants. He gets more from them than I would ever give.)
I texted John he is an ignorant ass. Not so much over the stupid pill he “found” but because Tesla had a doctor appointment and he didn’t tell me. Probably because he knew Tesla would want to leave with me. John instead waited, only to give Dale an information overload. Don’t talk to Dale about Tesla or me, talk to me!
Some random texts to John.
What is Thanksgiving day like for you? We are trying to see what we can do with the day and hospital visits.
Thanksgiving?
John can you plz get back to me?
Hello….dear you.
I would like to talk to you about Thanksgiving as soon as possible.
Can I get tt a lil more since we are off school for Thanksgiving.
What time you having dinner on tg?
Hello
Hello (Today Tesla called after this text. She asked almost immediately if she can come stay. I knew she would which is why I have been texting and calling John and not getting answers.)
Our conversation ended with Tesla telling me she would talk to her dad. Good luck kiddo.
My last text to John was “?”
Sad when communication breaks down that badly and the six-year-old must try to save face.
~P.
Nov 1, 2012
Dear Heather~Trick or Treat!
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Dear Heather,
Your absence was noticeable tonight. Sad your children miss out on trick or treating in their own neighborhood because you can’t handle my presence. It’s ok though. John called me Heather and everything! It’s almost like you were there in spirit. I told him he really needs to work on getting his woman’s names right. I found it wildly amusing, but I’m sure you won’t.
Don’t worry, we didn’t stay out late having a good time without you. Though you not being there made it so much easier to flirt with each other when Tesla and Blaine went to peoples doors. Heck even our friends at Pizza Town thought John and I were still together. We did look like one happy little family. Damn we are good at fooling people…guess that was our little trick of the night.
Someday he might be over me. But I doubt it. Expect my presence every year…if you’re still in the picture.
Happy Halloween!
~P.
Oct 23, 2012
Chewing with your mouth open and other annoying habits humans have
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My day has flown by but I accomplished much. Some were just little things, like acing a test in History of Rock and Roll class or developing film I shot. I had a five minute conversation with Tesla. That girl is just my ball of sunshine. There were bigger things, of course. When isn’t there bigger things going on in my life?
Between my classes I went to the library to do some studying for my R&R quiz. While trying to keep twenty songs in my head I was interrupted by a cell phone call. It wasn’t a number I recognized. That’s because the West Manchester police don’t usually call my digits.
So I am told to take down the audio of John having a meltdown in the front yard over a purple jacket (still missing) and how I make a big deal about him chewing with his mouth open. Yes, I did tell him when he chewed with his mouth open four-plus years ago, but what does that have to do with anything we were discussing?
Meanwhile, Tesla has to either listen to me be berated or be pulled into the conversation by her dad. He drills her, forcing her to answer his questions. She is upset, scared and confused. She, like me, didn’t get what the big deal was. She had another jacket on and eight more upstairs to choose from. It had to be the jacket she wore from her dad’s household. I don’t know why. It’s a control thing.
What do I get when I arrive home today? My neighbor up my ass about walking my dog around the yard. Correct answer! Good job, you must follow my life on Facebook. Even though I pick up Ying poo, she feels the need to be nasty to me. I don’t even look at her and she verbally attacks me. Get a life!
Minding my own poo,
~P.
Oct 9, 2012
It is my birthday and here are my wishes
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It’s been four long years since I’ve celebrated a birthday with my daughter and husband. Since that can’t happen, here is my top 10 birthday requests:
1. Nice weather. Doesn’t have to be perfect, just nice.
2. Find out the divorce John signed for four years ago is actually getting somewhere.
3. Simple day at classes.
4. Have a good day with Ying who turns for and shares a birthday with me.
5. Eat dinner at Red Lobster.
6. Go to the End of the World lecture at York College.
7. Look younger.
8. Grasp the meaning of life.
9. Avoid crabs of any species.
10. Have my cake and eat it too.
Not a bad wish list. Not bad at all. 😉
Actually, let’s make the divorce process four years after him filing be #1.
Birthday freedom,
~P.
Sep 28, 2012
Dear John~mocking your child
By · 8 Comments
Letters he nevers learn from
Dear John,
It’s been stressful for Tesla and I dealing with your drama. Your self-centered desire to have the world rotate around you. While I detest having to beg you to let me spend time with Tesla, I do it. If I don’t ask and ask and ask, I would only see Tesla every other weekend. Even my sons are appalled that you intentionally keep Tesla from seeing her mother….their mother.
Tonight Tesla said how nice it was that you took her to your softball game so she could see me. I agreed with her because what else could my response have been? You don’t want her and my visit to be considered you allowing us to see each other…but there is no other way to explain it. The judge encouraged you to allow time for Tesla and I beyond the court order, you just want to forget that part.
I didn’t bring up how pissed off I am that you are still insisting on suing me for child support. That I should be held responsible to support Tesla in the household. Oh, and that Heather pays rent, or utilities or whatever. I was just happy to be with Tesla.
Speaking of Heather, I’m sorry to hear of the loss in her family. Before you showed your true colors to Tesla tonight, I had offered to help out if you needed me too. Of course you have everything under control. I didn’t ask why LaDonna was getting Tesla ready for school on Wednesday, but that makes sense now. She is handy to fill in as the third mommy. What’s her hourly rate as substitute mom?
Wrapping this up, I just want to point out for a second time what a douchebag move that was mocking Tesla (and me) when we said our goodbyes. Tesla said “eight days” referring to how long she must wait to be with me and I repeated it back to her. We didn’t need your mocking in that high-pitch voice, “eight days! eight days!” It just points out how pathetic and bitter you are that this little girl misses her mom. When I told you not to mock her for missing me, you said you weren’t but news flash….YOU WERE. I knew it and so did Tesla. She crossed her arms and didn’t want you to touch her as you walked her to your truck. I don’t blame her.
Shame on you ,John. Shame on you.
~P.
girlboxer1970 
Loving the Comment
Another blogger wrote this comment:
WOW! I’m so stoked to find this blog, it’s the garbage dump of the internet! Keep up the good work, nothing like a Whiskey Tango Trainwreck to pass the time!! -Puddentame
My response:
Yes, my life is full of garbage. Lucky me. I do have a few roses within the compost area. People hate loving to look at a train wreck. I’m surviving so I just wave and appreciate the comments as you pass through.
~P.
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