It is my birthday and here are my wishes

It’s been four long years since I’ve celebrated a birthday with my daughter and husband.  Since that can’t happen, here is my top 10 birthday requests:

1. Nice weather.  Doesn’t have to be perfect, just nice.

2. Find out the divorce John signed for four years ago is actually getting somewhere.

3. Simple day at classes.

4. Have a good day with Ying who turns for and shares a birthday with me.

5. Eat dinner at Red Lobster.

6. Go to the End of the World lecture at York College.

7. Look younger.

8. Grasp the meaning of life.

9. Avoid crabs of any species.

10. Have my cake and eat it too.

Not a bad wish list.  Not bad at all.  😉

Actually, let’s make the divorce process four years after him filing be #1.

Birthday freedom,


Scheduled Control

What is scheduled control?

When a person (A) in power feels he or she must strictly schedule another persons (B) day.   The amount of power held by A varies, depending on the relationship held with B.

For Example:

1.  John (A) has a large amount of power over Tesla (B) because A is the father of B and has a court order that A believes empowers him to:

a. Rigidly set B a schedule that allows very small amounts of personal time for B to make a choice in how her time is spent.

b. Making a schedule for B that is so vague it is clear A is exercising coercive power to avoid allowing B the opportunity to make a choice in how her time is spent.

2.  John (A) has a large amount of power over Pattie (C) because A is the husband of C and B is the daughter of A and C.

a.  Majority of  attempts by C to contact  A results in continual avoidance of answering the text messages, email and phone calls.

b. A regularly asserts power over B and C by changing the schedule of B at a moments notice to cause distress to C.

3.  Pattie (C) will in time, have a large amount of power over C because eventually A is going to fuck up so bad that B will be disgusted by his pathetic attempt to control her schedule.

a. Result hypothesis:  A and C= Happy    B=Sad

THAT is what scheduled control is!


P.S.  Yes, I wrote all that myself.  A little bit of psych, a little bit of human communication and a large dose of controlling personalities.   Maybe “scheduled control” will become a new psychology term.  I didn’t bother to look if it might be one already.  🙂


Kick me while I’m down

Today I contacted Department of Welfare because there had been some screw up with Dale’s tax papers.  I informed them that I no longer had joint custody of Tesla.

As if things aren’t bad enough, I will now lose Tesla and my medical card (don’t worry, John already informed me he applied for Chip.  I’m sure he didn’t come up with that on his own) and we are no longer eligible for food stamps or free lunches.

I have no idea if this will impact me attending school.  I am SO frustrated with all that is going on.  Congratulations to John for managing to screw me over once again, along with getting majority custody.  I’m not boo-hooing, just floored at the decision of the courts to award custody to a man who has been putting off divorcing his wife because he doesn’t want to have to change ANY part of his life.

My life is completely turned upside down.  Not that he would care.  I realize now he never really cared about me.  It was all about him.

Crossing my fingers that things get better,


%d bloggers like this: