It gets old being the “strong” person.  My family, friends and lawyer all tell me to “hang in there.”  I am tired of hanging around, hoping things improve.  Something needs to be done.  Of course, that takes money.

I get blog comments from people who I may or may not know.  For example, here is one from someone who refers to themselves as Reality Check.

Would you stop already with the “my house” crap, you seem to forget that he had that house way before you came along. And because of you, another woman was forced out of it and her marriage. You are a bit high and mighty for my taste considering what you have done in your past. I sure consider you to be a homewrecker so for you to call someone else one is ironic indeed!!!!

Reality Check is so bold with their accusations and label-making.  Like it’s the first time I’ve been called a name.  Shit, John called me “a bigger piece of shit than his own mother” and “fucking bitch” and “lazy bitch” and “shitty mother” so many times I couldn’t stop the dark, life-draining affect it was having on my psyche.  I was already depressed after the horrible mistakes hospital had made that almost caused my death.  I was struggling with recovering from giving birth, near death and stuck in the hospital while my newborn was home with a man who never had an infant in his care.

Things didn’t get better to be honest with you.  I became pregnant with our second child and lost it just after the first trimester.  The feeling of failure was over-whelming and John’s blaming it on me didn’t help.  His wanting to leave me the same day I miscarried gave that disease depression a firm grip on me that I am still working to shake.  Here is my response to Reality Check:

You can tell me to stop with the my house crap…but it is my house also. And, Reality Check, I did not wreck anyone’s home…..neither of them were happily married. You don’t know anything about what happened back then. If you did you would shut the fuck up because you would realize just how wrongly informed you are. If I wrecked a home, it certainly wasn’t a very happy home because I later found out they both were cheating on each other so regularly that it wasn’t even a secret anymore.  Hard for me to feel bad about that.
As far as the house goes, I sold MY house and took out a mortgage with John, using the profits of the sale of my house to pay off Diane so she would sign the divorce papers. At the last moment, she wanted $10K more to sign.

I can be high and mighty ALL I want because I don’t care what the hell you think. I’m not saying Heather is a homewrecker, I’m just saying it would be nice if she would currently butt out so after all this time I can get the divorce he filed for YEARS ago. So, Reality Check, the house is mine and John’s. Since I don’t know who you are, I’m guessing you are someone he used to or still is sleeping with. Hey, thanks for the comment!!! ~P.

See, people’s comments that stick up for John in any way are fine by me.  It just shows me how little they know about him.  If you want me to give any credence to a comment supporting John, have the balls to give your name.  I have nothing bad to say about John’s first wife, nor her husband Craig.  They are good people.  Do I believe she got screwed over by John?  Hell yeah!  I am not proud of the way he removed Di from his life and inserted me.  We were both being used but we didn’t realize it back then.  I’m sure she isn’t thrilled about making it into my writing, but if I wrote anything that was a flat-out lie or vicious, either she or someone in her family would contact me with the truth or a comment because…..they read my blog.

I know how the house came about.  It is true.  I had nothing to do with the house back then.  But my world was completely changed around for the man I fell in love with.  You cannot understand nor underestimate the effect John can have on people.  Not just women he is attracted to but people in general.  He will just barge into your life like a bull in a china shop and change everything to how he thinks it should be.  Especially if he feels superior to that person.  (which is everyone.)

So Reality Check is most likely a person who kind of knows John and feels bad he is going to have to sell his house.  Then again, it could be a perfect stranger who reads enough to just have an opinion.  Either way, opinions are like assholes.  .

Everyone has one.

~P.