I know it’s the same shit, just a different day. This could be looked at as endless writing material but let’s face it, Tesla will always be in my life, and assuming she chooses to remain in her fathers, he will be a part of our lives. Oh the joys of our lives…
Monday 5/28 after he picked up Tesla, I text John “Tesla has a little blister on her finger from being on the tire swing over at my friends house and also a little rash from jumping on the rope. I think both should be fine. Her allergy appointment has been canceled. Is Ladonna still working? If I send you email I want to make sure you get it.”
No response. (See why I have little faith in him reading an email?)
Tuesday 5/29 at 8:30 PM I texted “Tess calling?”
No response
5/30 1 PM I texted can I get TT. He texts he will let me know. He never does.
Duplicate 6:15 PM & 7:15 PM “Tomorrow after school?”
8 PM “Hey…can I get tt tomorrow? She calling me?”
She will be calling. And tomorrow? Not sure yet. Of course you’re not.
Tesla called and we had 3 minutes and 13 seconds to talk with at least John and Bria right there beside her. I don’t consider anything until 5 minutes a conversation.
Today 10:30 AM “Can I get Tesla this afternoon please?”
No response so I call him at 11 AM and he answers.
“Can I please get Tesla this afternoon?”
“I don’t think she has anything going on. Her and the girls were talking about playing after school.”
(I’m sure they talk about playing after school every day.)
“Ok, if she doesn’t have anything going on I’ll take my car to my doctor appointment.”
“I’ll ask her if she wants to go with you or play with the girls as soon as she gets off the bus.”
“Why are you going to ask her that? I am certain she will want to see me.”
“I’m letting it up to her and I’ll ask her as soon as she gets off the bus.”
Funny, suddenly it’s all up to Tesla. It didn’t matter where Tesla wanted to go to live did it? Otherwise, she would be living with me, right?
“Just ride your motorcycle then, smartass!”
No, I’ll take my car. She will want to see me. Have a good day.
It wasn’t an “all-screaming at each” other phone call. No one even “hung-up’ on the other.
I just spoke the truth, which of course poked a sore spot on John with a stick. If it were not true, why would he be so pissy? Threatening to not allow me to see her at all, so to speak. Tesla and I are puppets, hell while I’m at it, Heather and crew are puppets too. It would make for a heck of a reality show, just not one I want to be starring in. Sigh….
Taking my car,
~P.
girlboxer1970 
Hi Pattie.
I’ve been thinking. Wracking my little brain with ways that would make communication between you, the Douchbag and his Douchenozzle easier and more productive. So, I tested a bit of it on a person that is negative with me on a regular basis to see if it worked and it did. So, I’m sharing my methods with you in the hopes that it assists with your communication with your second and fiduciary assholes.
Instead of saying: “Can I please have Tesla this afternoon” say “May I please have my daughter Tesla this afternoon, John?”. Instead of saying “I would like to speak with Tesla this evening” say “May I please speak to my daughter Tesla on the phone this afternoon, John?”. Instead of arguing with Douchenozzle over sneakers, simply say: “I’m sorry Heather, but I refuse to introduce my daughter to this kind of negativity on any level. If you wish to discuss it with me in a manner that is kind and adult, it would be my pleasure to do so. But I will not have that kind of conversation that is negative in front of my daughter.” Never resort to being angry or yelling at either of them. Do not let them yell at you. It works wonders.
Try it and see.
I’ve tried everything….being overly nice, saying please, thank you, giving plenty of notice of changes, asking for changes with plenty of notice, not yelling, not getting angry, and sometimes just not saying anything. I’m dealing with a man who makes me sign-out my daughter to visit with me and when I even speak of getting Tesla outside of his terms he tells me to “quit whining” or he will only let me see her every other weekend. In his eyes, the more time she spends with me, the greater the chance I will get custody. You can’t reason with someone who thinks this way.