Static

1. pertaining to or characterized by a fixed or stationary condition.

2. showing little or no change

3. lacking movement development, or vitality
That is how I feel about my life.  I want to break out of this rut and make changes.  I feel trapped, held back and stuck in life.
The Animals song pops into my head….but it’s me singing to Tesla.
We gotta get out of this place.
If it’s the last thing we ever do.
We gotta get out of this place.
There’s a better world.
Don’t you know, don’t you know, don’t you know?
I want to get you out of this place.

It will happen.  I dream of traveling with my child in tow.  Exploring the world while sharing our experiences through creative nonfiction and photography.
We escape to foreign lands, educating her and myself as we move from country to country.
Yes, it might sound far-fetched.
That’s never stopped me before.
We we gonna go?
We we gonna go?
~P.

Dear John~ If your nose grew from all the lies you tell it would circle the world twice

Letters he nevers learns from

Letters he never learns from

Dear John,

All I wanted was to spend an hour or two with Tesla today.  Such a simple request, yet it was shot down immediately.  According to you I couldn’t pick-up Tesla because Heather had plans with her.  I don’t give a damn if Heather has plans with her, she’s not Heather’s child.  And your response that Heather treats Tesla like she is hers makes no difference.  It was a losing argument for me as you are “in control.”

I KNOW Tesla did nothing special after school today because I asked her what fun thing Heather did with her and the girls.  The highlight of Tesla’s afternoon with Heather was playing Uno.  You didn’t want to interrupt those precious plans Heather made….. Oh please!  There were no special plans.  Even if there were, Mom trumps live-in girlfriend.

And last night, when your phone supposedly wasn’t working and you didn’t get my calls or texts…..come on!  You just didn’t answer the phone.  Trying to hide that you are not even WITH our child.  You disgust me.  You have no respect for your daughter’s desire to see her mother.  Instead, you push her on whoever the current girlfriend happens to be or getting double duty out of LaDonna as a secretary and child care.  Does it make you feel like a big man to deny your child her mother?

On top of your big, fat lies, Tesla tells me you have been out of town for days.  Over and over, Tesla tells me how much she misses me and then I have to learn you’re not even with her.  What ever happened to how flexible your schedule was and you are always available to care for Tesla?  It’s all bullshit and when the time comes, it will all fly back into your lying face.

I have determined that God only allowed you to procreate with me because anyone else would have lost their patience with you by now.  If it wasn’t for my even-temper, I would have long lost it on your  arrogant ass.

Lastly, for you to tell me I might “hurt” Tesla with what I write is a joke.  There is no doubt in my mind that the games you and Heather play with my child is much more painful for her than someday reading what she already knows.   That her daddy isn’t nice.

Keeping track of all your lies,

~P.

The 10 Roles of Pattie

The Ten Roles of Pattie

Life is made up by the roles we fulfill.  The roles in life change from person to person but most of us share some identities with others.  Humans are unique and there are no duplicates.  Even twins have their differences of identity, if not on the outside, the differences can be found on the inside.  Without too much of a stretch, I was able to come up with ten roles of importance in my life.

Mother:  I am the mother to three children.  My sons are over the age of eighteen but my daughter is six.  I was blessed by God with these three children.  I was young when I had my sons and realize now how quickly time passes.  Daily I struggle with the fact that I do not see my daughter during the week.  As her mother, it is my opinion that she should live with me.  Unfortunately, a judge had ruled differently and now each day my child and I are apart is another day lost for mother and daughter.

Wife:  I am a wife against my will.  This month was eight years since I married the jackass who is still my husband.  Over half that time has been spent with us separated.  I no longer wish to have the role of wife and do nothing to fulfill it.  That is because I have taken on another role since the jackass and I have split.

Girlfriend:  After going through hell with the husband, a breath of fresh air came into my life.  My boyfriend had his work cut out for him in making me his girlfriend.  While I no longer had any hopes of my role of wife emerging from the deep, dark, depths it had sunk, I had no desire to be a girlfriend either.  Impressively, over-time, he wore me down and I fell into another identity I had not planned to fulfill.

College student:  Following the traumatic break-up with my husband, I decided to pursue new goals in life.  It was suggested I look into college and take a clean break from accounting.   I wanted to find something I would find enjoyable.  There were many suggestions from friends and family on the career I should pursue.  I ignored them all and made the choice that I felt would be best suited for me.  Taking on the role of college student has changed my life for the better.

Writer:  My choice of career to pursue in college was that of a Professional Writing major.  I have been passionate about reading and writing for as long as I can remember.  My mother says I always had a book with me as a child and that holds true now that I am an adult.  Whether it is a novel, a memoir or a textbook for class, I will devour that reading and from it, become a better writer.

Intern:  This is my most recent identity as my internship has just started.  As an intern I am expected to read and write online.  This role jives well with my other identities.  My employer is a non-profit organization that promotes the sharing of stories on a community blog site.  My role is to contribute written material to the site, read what other bloggers have contributed and spread the word about this blogging community.

High school graduate:  This role was fulfilled many years ago but I still hold it close to my heart.  The friends I made in high school and even middle school remain a part of my life.  We speak several times a month to “check in” and be supportive in each other’s lives.

Daughter:  I am one of two daughters my parents created.  I was the first born child and a natural leader.  The role of daughter is important to me because of the intense bond I have with my mother.  I am fortunate to have a mother who thinks the world of me and knows she can count on me to not only help her out, but get things done promptly and correctly.  Mom’s call when in need is to her first born, me.

Christian: This is a role I take very seriously.  Most people would not realize the depth of my belief in God.  I don’t push my faith and beliefs on people and expect the same respect in return.  I pray every day and firmly believe I will ascend to heaven when my roles on Earth have been completed.  A bonus for me would be gaining wings.  I have always wanted to fly.

Dog owner:  My dog makes me happy…most of the time.  The role of pet owner must be held by a person who is responsible, patient and forgiving.  The forgiving role is important because animals are animals.  They don’t think before they act.  I know this because my dog recently jumped into the fountain on campus.  While the other students found this amusing, I did not.

This list does not define me as my identity is too diverse to limit to a list of ten, but it is a good start in knowing me and understanding the most important roles I carry in my life.  As time passes new roles will be added and old roles will be dropped.  As life evolves, so do our roles within.

Internship week 4

Over half this week I was sick.  I missed a day and a half of classes but fortunately, I am feeling better.  While home I made good use of my time and pulled down hours towards this course credit.

2/9/13 website content, commenting, emails, Oz interview  4.0 hrs

2/11/13 Oz interview 3.0 hrs

2/12/13 Delivered postcards, spoke to professors, reviewed SOL blog posts  2.0 hrs

2/13/13 Read blogs for contest.  Wrote blog content.  4.0 hrs

2/14/13 Meeting with Dr. Yonkers, spoke with Eric by phone, presentation of SOL in class, read blogs for contest.  2.75 hrs

2/15/13 Read blogs for contest, commented on posts, wrote two posts.  Chose top  finalists for contest.  4.0 hrs

2/16/13 Reread blogs for contest, wrote two posts, Chose top three finalists.  4.0

Total hours 23.75

My goal was 20-25 hours so even with being ill, I managed to get much accomplished for my internship.  Total hours complete 42.75.  Remaining hours: 77.25

I read many wonderful posts from past prompts as well as the gun control prompt.  www.stageoflife.com

Keep writing my friends,

~P.

 

Levi Loses Control ~AmishMafia

Levi!  Your mob is out of control....

Levi! Your mob is out of control….

Levi…I’m concerned about your rowdy group of mafia misfits.  They are committing all types of acts that are catching the attention of fans…and the police.  From hit and runs, drugs and wild women…you have your hands full.

640561_190

John hasn’t been hiding from the authorities.  If he were hiding he wouldn’t be on our television screens.  He turned himself in and that was a wise move.  Otherwise Levi might need to feed him to the fishes.  I’m just curious why John was driving the vehicle of a Discovery employee when John is only licensed to operate a foot propelled scooter.  I bet that employee is kicking their own ass for letting John, resident goofball, drive his car.  No wonder Levi isn’t buying him a vehicle.

Mirkat

Esther…what is going on girlfriend?  After the breaking of Levi’s heart, checking out Jolin like he was a side of beef, and kissing that creepy Merlin, you are now dating a rapper.  You go girl!  I’ve spoke to your boyfriend and things seem to be going well.  I’d advise having some say over the pictures he posts.

Keeping it hot in the kitchen girlfriend

Keeping it hot in the kitchen girlfriend

The kitchen pics were hot but this one is not.

Esther2

While I hold no issue with interracial relationships, how does the Amish community view such relationships?  What does Levi think?  I’m 100% sure the fans of the show would love to see this play out in Season 3.  I suggest filming begin immediately.

Allen Beiler

Allen Beiler

And then we have Allen, the mastermind of the entire show.  Allen doesn’t want to spend much time in front of the camera.  If he were, it would catch him in the act of committing a crime.  Like John, Allen can’t stay out of trouble.  Wouldn’t their real lives be interesting on tv?  Don’t quit with the reenactments.  Those are entertaining to we fans.  Just keep cameras on them all the time.

Now that would be reality tv.

~P.

Meteors and Asteroids

I don’t believe in coincidences.  Meteors falling from the sky in Russia and asteroids on the way?  Let’s be honest, we earthlings really are helpless when the solar system tosses objects at us all willy-nilly.  I hear we can blow them up long before they hit the atmosphere.  So what happened in Russia?  Were the meteor watchers all on lunch?

God creates, God takes away.  God makes changes as he sees fit.

~P.

Late and Falling Asleep

He was in the writing studio when I passed by at 11 AM; only one door away from where class is held.  Class began, between the professor and I was an empty chair.  About ten minutes into class he walked in and sat down between the professor and me.  He handed the professor his vocabulary word assignment that he obviously had just completed.

The professor continued with the lecture and I noticed my classmate was tired.  So tired he kept nodding off in class.  I was fascinated at how he would catch himself as his head drooped and chin touched his chest.  You must be pretty darn tired to drift off with the professor lecturing away in the next seat.  I know the student.  I even taped him with my camera phone as he nodded off.  I haven’t shown it to him yet, but I will.  This wasn’t the first time he fell asleep in class.  It wasn’t the first time he came to class late.

My words of advice:  sleep more, do your homework and get to class on time.

~P.

3 words

Brushing up on vocabulary:

Ostracize- v. to banish or exclude somebody from society or from a particular group, either formally or informally.

Ralph was ostracized from the cool kid group when they learned he secretly played the flute.

 

Odious-adj. hateful, inspiring hatred, contempt, or disgust.

Ralph’s odious behavior caused his teacher to send him to the principal’s office.

 

Cacophony- n. noise, an unpleasant combination of loud, often jarring, sounds

The cacophony of the third grade orchestra caused Ralph to leave the auditorium.

My name & pavilion

Patricia

What my Name Means and Pavilion

This column is about my name and the word pavilion.  Exciting stuff huh?  I don’t make the assignments, I just do them.

Patricia  fem. proper name, from Latin, fem. of patricius “patrician, noble”

Patricia is Latin in origin and a feminine, proper name.  Patricius means patrician or noble.  I must say it is cool to have a powerful sounding name.  A very Spartan name.  Am I a noble person?  It would be improper for me to answer my own question of nobleness.   When I think about nobility, I think wealthy.  Perhaps a queen draped in silk cloth and adorned with brilliant gemstones.  At my feet, my guard dog, hairless and fierce wearing a collar that matches my crown.

Whew, I am dreaming.  In reality my name is about as close to wealth as I get.

On to the word pavilion:

pavilion (n.)

c.1200, “large, stately tent,” from Old French paveillon “large tent; butterfly” (12c.), from Latin papilionem (nom. papilio) “butterfly, moth,” in Medieval Latin “tent” (seepapillon); the type of tent so called on resemblance to wings. Meaning “open building in a park, etc., used for shelter or entertainment” is attested from 1680s.

You may be wondering why I chose the word pavilion.  I chose it because until recently, I’ve been spelling it wrong and more shocking; I had a misunderstanding of what the word meant.  A pavilion, spelled with one “l” is from the 12th century French word paveillon.  This translates to large tent and butterfly.  In Latin is translates roughly to butterfly looking tent.  This type of tent is set up in a park for special occasions or gatherings. This meaning is attested from the late 1600’s as a tent that provides shelter and entertainment area.  When the circus comes to town, the first thing they do is set up the pavilion so people see where the big top show will perform.

How did I confuse the word pavilion since childhood?  Other than spelling it with an extra “l” I never knew a pavilion was a tent-like structure, a temporary shelter.  For the first eighteen years of my life I lived above a property my church owned.  On the there was a candy stand, band stand, and pavilion.  The pavilion was a block building with huge windows that could be raised and hooked to the ceiling.  Once they were all up, it felt very open as you could look out to the candy stand and softball field with ease.  When the church named it a pavilion, they were very loose with the word’s interpretation.

I have fond memories of playing there with my siblings and the neighbor kids.  Everyone with a bicycle knew where you meant when you yelled “see ya at the pavilion” while exiting the bus.  Endless hours of my youth were spent on that land and in the pavilion; I may have even had my first kiss there, but that’s another column.

That was my name, you may wear it out.

~P.

Amish Mafia Levi called

The Big Boss called

The Big Boss called

This afternoon, while home sick, my phone rang.  The call ID name flashed on the screen Levi Stoltzfus.  And I be derned, it was.

Levi said he can’t give me an interview at this time because Discovery forbids them from giving interviews and having social media accounts.  So as I reported before, no one from The Amish Mafia has Facebook pages, Twitter accounts…If they did, they don’t now.  Levi stated, “I hate that fans believe these people online are me.  We have no online accounts.”

He seemed to appreciate my interest in the show and voiced some concern about the show possibly not being renewed.  He didn’t state why but I suspect it could be over the “events are recreated” issue.  I said, “While I don’t want to hear people are running around with guns shooting watermelons up, it was great to see Jolin do it on tv.”  Levi laughed, “Yeah, it is great for tv.  I’m glad people like it.  We really do shoot up watermelons patches to make a point.”

Levi has a really nice voice when he is not wound-up screaming at someone, like John.  We talked for a little over ten minutes and agreed to keep in touch.

He likes the idea of a book.

So do I.

~P.