Just a girl writing in the blogging ring
I am upset with my son and his disrespect towards his father, step-mother and I. None of us seem to be able to get through to him that he is traveling down a dangerous path that will put him on the wrong side of the law. ~P.
An angel looking down, a tear and frown.
Clipped wings for being a clown.
Jagged edges refuse to heal.
Dare make a last appeal.
Can’t come back, have nowhere to go.
The penalty of going with the flow.
DA: Lancaster pastor ‘terrorized’ kids – The York Daily Record.
I’m not sure what to think about this Lancaster pastor. Good intentions gone wrong would sum it up.
I understand what their goal was: to educate and bring awareness to what could happen on a missionary trip in a foreign country.
I’ve been on a missionary trip with a huge group of teenagers. We traveled as a group and rarely separated into groups of less than three. This was for our own protection.
(As a side note I will add that after our flight to California we went to eat at a fast food restaurant. When I came out of the restroom, I realized our entire missionary group had left in the two rented vans. Thank God it was me who was left behind because I don’t know how a teenager would have reacted. No one told us what hotel we were staying at and it took quite some time for me to even find our group and have them come back for me. Poor planning…everyone should have know what hotel we were staying at before continuing on to Mexico.)
Foreign countries are unpredictable. What this pastor staged has the real possibility of happening on a missionary trip. It takes faith in God to leave your home and enter foreign territory to spread His word.
What this Assembly of God Church should have done was inform the parents and youth what was going to happen. Even knowing it is staged would still get the point across. After the staged kidnapping, a discussion on how to react to capture should have taken place.
In my humble opinion, no teenagers should be taken to a hostile country for missionary purposes. Adult missionaries risk their lives to spread God’s word and understand the risks they are taking.
Teenagers believe they are indestructible.
~P.
I am emotional right now. I’m nursing a cold and feeling just miserable. Bare with me.
What drives someone to burn themselves to mark their body permanently? I am furious at my son for burning himself with a piece of metal. He didn’t want me to know but mothers always find things out.
He was born dead and revived and I thank God for saving his life. Not a scar on his perfect little baby body. That is no longer. He has covered himself in scars, burns, cuts and tattoos. The tattoos are terrible and none of the scars make him look cool. He looks like he went through a war, but he is doing it to himself.
In my opinion, he is not showing his body respect. I have nothing against professional tattoos. I have four myself. His look like a blind man just started inking him up. He said, “They were free, Mom.”
Free tattoo means someone is experimenting and doesn’t have the first clue to what they are doing. It’s obvious when you see the sad artwork on his body that someday he will wish he never had done. Free tattoo mean shitty tattoo.
And the scarification to his body….makes me want to cry. I don’t like the path my son is taking in life and I don’t like his friends, even though I haven’t met them.
So what can I do? I feel sick and I haven’t even seen how horribly wrong this brand to his leg has gone. The ones on his arms are hideous and from what I’ve been told his leg is much worse and probably infected.
Again, why?
~P.
Day care rampage caught on tape 9-year-old’s reign of terror – YouTube.
Shouldn’t this boy be charged with something? Yes, the daycare worker wasn’t paying attention and has been charged for her lack of it, but this boy needs to learn what he did was wrong. He also needs some therapy and counseling or he will wind up behind bars.
Just my thoughts,
~P.
My good friend Jodie commented that the opening ceremonies for the Olympics were strange. I didn’t see the ceremonies but this blog explains why they might be thought of as strange.
The 2012 London Olympics & Illuminati Symbolism | Zazen Life.
Great poem about relief in a good cry.
Yesterday, I cried.
I came home, went straight to my room, 
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected,
and disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others
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Everyone is going to look at the title of this post and say “who knew?” but that’s okay. Fiona and Ken know who they are and that’s all that matters.
Once, a long time ago when I still lived in my house, someone much younger than me stated “He is a narcissist.” I agreed, knowing in general what a narcissist was.
Today, a fellow blogger made the same comment about another blogger but she added the definition of narcissistic personality.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Symptoms of this disorder may include, but are not limited to:
Reacting to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
Taking advantage of others to reach their own goals
Exaggerating their own importance, achievements, and talents
Imagining unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
Requiring constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
Easily becoming jealous
Lacking empathy and disregarding the feelings of others
Being obsessed with oneself
Mainly pursuing selfish goals
Trouble keeping healthy relationships
Easily becoming hurt and rejected
Setting goals that are unrealistic
Wanting “the best” of everything
Appearing unemotional
Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they’re superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
After reading Fiona’s comment about another blogger it took me back to the day Ken said the same about John.
They were both right.
~P.
Dear John,
By now I would think you’d realize lying to me is a waste of time. I can see right through your bullshit, even if it’s the thickest bullshit ever. Did you think I was going to get a big surprise when you showed up at Tesla and my doctor appointment? I wasn’t surprised. You’ll always be my stalker, married to you or divorced. How do I know that? Because you’ll never get over the fact that I don’t want you.
Did you think I would say, “Oh, sure! Come on in with Tesla and I for our doctor appointment!” as if we are still happily married and share personal information as married couples do? I only told you I was taking Tesla to the doctor because the custody order states I must do so. Obviously you called the doctors to find out what time our appointments were so you could just show up. When I said you should try notifying me when you take Tesla to the doctor, you response was, “Oh, one time I didn’t tell you.” I lost count of how many times you whisked her off to the doctor without informing me.
I can pull out her medical records and check. See I get informed when you take her and I’m not present. Dr. Carl feels strongly that I should have copies of the appointments because you like to give me incorrect information.
For example, you told me you took her when she fell off the four-wheeler and Dr. C said she was fine. That was a lie. In fact, Carl said you never even mentioned she fell or that she had pain in her neck. Of course you insisted he did diagnose her concerning the fall. Dr. C gave me a print-out of Tesla’s visit as proof that you never mentioned it.
Then there was that rush appointment concerning the bruising on her arms. You took her out of school to rush her to the doctors telling Carl I was accusing you of abusing Tesla. Wow, that was a lie too. I didn’t say YOU were doing it, but then again, you never had a problem grabbing a hold of me when I didn’t see things your way.
Most recently was the appointment for poison ivy. It says right in the notes that Tesla got tangled up in the woods riding four-wheelers and caught a very nasty rash. Before I even knew about the appointment, Tesla told me this: “Daddy says not to tell you I got poison riding in the woods because you will say I can’t ride the four-wheeler.” Now you want Tesla to lie for you? Wow, there’s parenting skills. Teaching your child how to lie to her mother.
When I commented on your new truck today, I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell you can afford a new vehicle. Our mortgage is still way behind to the tune of over $5,000. Not that it would stop you from spending money. You LOVE money and spending it. It always bothered you that I wasn’t on board to blow wads of money on frivolous items. I’ve been pretty good at making predictions since you filled for divorce almost four years ago. I predict my future to be sunny and bright, landing a job after I complete college with flying colors and Tesla is living with me, as she has requested since day one. I’m not seeing that for you…but keep spending that money you don’t report on your taxes. It will catch up to you eventually.
You’ll need to pay for Tesla’s lunches once school starts again. You get enough freebies from the state by putting me in the situation where I can’t get a divorce from your sorry ass. What freebies? Tesla’s doctors appointments and medications are all covered by welfare. Remember when you had to pay out-of-pocket for all our doctor appointments and medications? Very costly so keeping me in divorce limbo has more benefits to you than going forward with the divorce. Once that divorce
If you can afford to have a girlfriend and her four kids in our house, you certainly can afford you own child’s lunch. You were able to afford dragging me to court and lying to get custody. That means you are responsible for the costs incurred from having custody of Tesla. I could be a complete asshole and cancel all assistance Tesla gets, but that wouldn’t be fair to her. I have her best interest in mind. You only think of yourself and your head and I’m not talking about the one on your shoulders.
Tesla also told me for the second time that you are not letting her call me when she asks. I never restrict her calls to you. If anything I urge her to call you. You should be doing the same instead of trying to make her forget she has a mother. Heather is NOT her step-mother and her kids aren’t Tesla’s step-siblings. At the rate you are going they never will be. Even Heather says she doesn’t know if she would marry you. I guess living with you is good enough….if she even still wants to do that. Tough when you learn about the dark side of your boyfriend but you have no where else to go.
Stick to lying to Heather. She might believe you.
~P.
Art appreciation 101 at York College requires making a sculpture at home. I wanted to do more than a mask and my wonderful sister Suz volunteered to be the model.
Suz sat patiently while I added more and more plaster to her head. I estimate it took over an hour to sculpt the helmet and another half hour with a hair dryer to set it. What Suz didn’t know was the process of creating it would be much easier on her than when it came time to remove it from her head. Let’s just say she lost some hair over the ordeal. 😉
Once I tore that mask off her head (not exaggerating) and removed the lining I could tell my vision was coming together. I love my sister to pieces and wanted this to have a real meaning for her, other than just pain.
I walked all over my parents property and down at Beaver Hole looking for the perfect vines to add to my piece. I had a name for it already chosen. “MeSuza” after the Greek mythology goddess, Medusa. I was fortunate MeSuza didn’t turn me to stone for ripping so much hair off of her head.
Stone Cold
I hand-carved and painted each snake, with a total of eleven in all. Each one was unique. None of the snakes have pieces glued to them. The tongues and rattles are all carved out of the native vines of Dover, PA. The mask portrayed a winter scene, cold and barren with the snakes slithering in and out. The inside was snakes in a summer setting. The mask represented both seasons as a sculpture in the round. At every angle a different snake looks back with an evil glare, inside and out. The snakes that are not vines are hot glue that I drizzled onto the mask then painted. I can’t even begin to guess how many hours I put into this piece, but it was worth every second!
To wear the helmet, some snakes had to be removed. When it’s not on a human head, the snakes can be moved around for a new look. I received an A+ on my sculpture and a 4.0 in the Intro to Art course. 😉
Summer of snakes
The model who wears it the best! Love ya Sis!
Tesla is no longer afraid of MeSuza!
Future posts of art work to come!
~P.
girlboxer1970 
