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Jun 29, 2011

Itty bitty nonexistent feelings

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So much for freedom of speech

Went to court on Monday and of course, nothing was accomplished.  Now the mediator is telling John and I that if we can’t decide on Tesla’s school on our own, a judge will decide.  If a judge doesn’t hear our case prior to school starting, Tesla won’t start kindergarten.  John gave me “the look” and rolled his eyes like I am causing all this drama.  If Tesla wanted to go to kindergarten and live in our house with her father and his girlfriend (and 4 other children) she would say so.

John’s lawyer had print out of my blog (I guess she could be a daily reader also!)  Her first example was my birthday wish for the future ex.  The mediator didn’t see the humor in the middle finger cake.  Ironic as I didn’t see humor in being called a “horrible fucking mother” and a “fucking bitch” in front of my daughter and sons.  I can’t copy and paste a middle finger cake into a blog, but he can call me whatever he wants as long as no one hears him.

My lawyer and I are strategically planning our counter suit.  In the meantime, I will no longer call John any of my awesome, well thought out nicknames.   Suddenly I’m hurting his itty-bitty, non-existent feelings.  Guess his skin isn’t as thick as he thought it was because at one time, he didn’t give a damn what I was going to write about.  If the blog is upsetting him…..what’s the book going to do?!?

Back to studying my Spanglish….this summer class will never end!

~P.

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged:
Jun 3, 2011

Greed makes his world go round

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$20 dollars made me hollar!

I don’t think of myself as a greedy person.  Most people who know me wouldn’t say I’m a greedy person.  John and his girlfriend might say I’m greedy but hey, $20 is $20.  I pay $10 a day for Tesla to go to daycare at Weiglestown Child Care Center, an excellent daycare facility.  In the past when John hasn’t had someone to babysit for him so he can go do an estimate, work on a job or get laid, he has taken Tesla to daycare and reimbused me the $10 fee.  The last time he suddenly had no one available he called and asked if he could drop Tess off and I said “of course.”

Now last week before bed,  when Tesla called her dad after my repeated prompting, he didn’t answer and she left a message.  In the morning I talked her into calling him but again, he didn’t answer.  Trying one more time before dropping her off at daycare, his voice mail kicked in and I dropped her off without her talking to her father.  About ten minutes after the last call to him, he called back and I told him he just missed her.  He asks if he can pick Tess up from daycare today and since I was in the process of moving to West York, I said he could.

Around 10 AM I was filling up my dad’s gas guzzling truck at Turkey Hill right down from the daycare and who passes by but John, his girlfriend, her kids and Tess.  Now that pissed me off as Tess was looking forward to seeing her friends at daycare.  He couldn’t answer the phone the night before, or that morning and had some lame excuse that I didn’t listen to, but he could pick up Tess half an hour after I dropped her off.

I called his phone and his reason for picking her up was because they were going swimming at our home in our pool.  I said “I just dropped her off John!” and he responded with “What do you want me to say?”  I answered with “You can pay me the $10 for the daycare asshole!” and hung up.

When it came my time to pick Tess up from him, I yelled down from the top of the driveway (where I have to park) “Did you send my $20?” and he yelled back “Take it to domestics!”  I answered “Domestics doesn’t have anything to do with that.” and his “unable to mind her own damn business” girlfriend yells back “yes they do!”  Who the hell is talking to her?!  Certainally not me!  I yelled back “shut up! I’m not talking with you!”

As if my money isn’t stretched tight enough trying to live on a pathetic $441 a month while John keeps all the business income and supports his girlfriend and her 4 kids, I have to listen to her big mouth?!  I don’t need to hear jack shit from her….she’s just another chick on John’s list to cheat on.  Trust me, it will happen.

If withholding that $20 makes John feel like “the big man” then fine, don’t pay me back.  You’re only hurting your daughter and without me telling her anything, she has her dad all figured out.  Today I had to MAKE her leave for her weekend with him.  It breaks my heart to see her leave and breaks it even more that she doesn’t want to leave me.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jun 2, 2011

Bulldog attack

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West York Bulldogs

It’s official!  Tesla is registered for kindergarten in West York!  She may be the only kindergartener registered for school in two different districts but that’s just fine.  I am ready to fight for custody of my daughter and act like a bulldog if necessary.

I find the whole custody court interesting….expensive but interesting.  I can’t wait to see what stories come out in court that will be used to sway a judge towards one parent or another.  I already know what my ammunition is and my lawyer says it’s in the bag.  In fact, my lawyer said he can’t believe John would even take it to court with his unbelievable history.  I can believe it, as he will stop at nothing to get his way all the time.

Secrets come out in court and become public record…..and even more titillating blog material!

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
May 27, 2011

Settled In

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Moving sucks….and it sucks twice as much when you’re a co-owner of a moving company yet can’t make use of the trucks you personally found online to purchase for your business.

Instead I borrowed my dad’s 1970’s pickup and made multiple trips in that gas guzzling, ancient truck.  My sister and I nicknamed it “Big Red” a long time ago.  It actually belonged to my first husband’s dad and he sold it to my dad.  It’s not nearly as pretty as it used to be as my dad is a terror on vehicles.  Just a few weeks ago he backed into my sister’s Ford Focus and put a huge dent in it.  Not that he offered to have it repaired…don’t be silly!

So I’m pretty settled in and excited to get Tesla this afternoon.  She’s already seen the house but now that her room is set up she will be twice as excited.  I changed my address and have to wait for that to come in the mail so I can finish registering her for kindergarten.  It will be awesome to be in school myself while she is just starting.  My world revolves around her and I miss her so much when she’s away.

Everything I do is for her and she knows that.  Spoiled, perhaps a little, but isn’t that what kids are for?  Jarrid and Zeth are going to my parents this weekend to visit and I want them to come check out my new digs.  It’s close to everything, yet back in the woods on a road no one has ever heard of.  The only downside is I can’t let Ying run loose like he was used to because there are too many other dogs in the neighborhood and he will want to visit.  He was picked up once by the police for jay walking on Market Street when I lived in East York.  It cost $50 to get him released from the dog catcher!  Fortunately, the backyard is fenced in for Tesla and Ying so they still can run around and play.

Things are looking up and I am in good spirits.  Summer classes start in a week and I’m anxious to get back at the books.  On an even better note, with all the stress with divorce, custody, moving, etc….I received a letter from York College, I made the Dean’s List!!!  Woohoo!!!  Nothing and no one can keep me down!!

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, Family, Jarrid, John, Pets, Tesla, Zeth · Tagged: , ,
May 21, 2011

Kick in the gut

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CHEATERS NEVER WIN!!

I wanted to believe while John and I were together he was faithful to me.  Never once did I ever cheat on him or even think about having an affair.  During our marriage he swore he would never cheat on me and even after he filed for divorce he stuck to his story that he never had cheated on me.

So it was a kick in the gut tonight to learn that once again, he lied to my face.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised as he cheated on his first wife, cheated on his last girlfriend back in October ’10 and as I learned tonight, he cheated on me while we were still “happily married.”  Some people just can’t be faithful….

So, call me gullible…because I certainly was.  Now I just stockpile all this information for my day in court.  This divorce can not come soon enough!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: ,
Apr 15, 2011

Not horsing around

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Wells Fargo Home Equity Solutions sent me a very sincere letter apologizing for the denial of a home equity modification I applied for.

Holy shit!  I didn’t even know I was applying for a home equity modification!  What the hell is Jhole trying to do now?

According to Beverly, Wells based this denial on the following reason: Based on their review of the current financial documentation you provided, your current income is unable to support a modified payment of the existing account at this time.

I’d claim to be surprised, except I was just at domestics with the hubby.  He boo-hooed about how bad business has been and the documentation he provided backed it up.  I wonder how well documentation will stand up during an audit?  Hmmm,  I really question some figures for the business he provided to domestics. 

 If your situation ever changes, we may be able to reconsider qualifying you for a modification.

I just don’t see this situation changing.  I hate to be negative but, if the first mortgage is 4 months behind, is there a possibility of ever qualifying?  Besides, I don’t want to remortgage! 

If there is a change in your employment or income, please call us right away…

Dear Beverly at Wells Fargo Bank,

   Please do not hold your breath for this call.  While your hours of service offer incredible opportunities to give you a ring, there is no money in my pocket going jing-a-ling-ling.

Pitifully indebted to you,

Patricia

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: , ,
Apr 11, 2011

Write and he shall read

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I finally got the call I’ve been waiting for!  It’s a message but so worth posting.  Tomorrow I was scheduled for an contempt hearing concerning the business Yellowbook ad.  If you have read any of my previous posts, you know I was very ticked at being accused of something I didn’t do.  This has happened so often in my marriage that it doesn’t even surprise me.

Apparently the easiest way to explain your problems away is to blame them on your wife, whether you are together or not.

Message from my fine lawyer Rob Krug:

Hi Pattie, wanted to let you know over the weekend I received a fax from John’s attorney withdrawling the contempt charges against you.  Apparently whatever you said to his attorney prompted her to look into it further and realize John was not telling her all the facts.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  LIKE JOHN IS EVER HONEST WITH FACTS!!!

I can imagine him freaking out trying to find a way to pin this on me.  I don’t know this for a fact, but I envision him screaming in the office at LaDonna or anyone else nearby for his own inability to know the facts before trumping up charges on me.

My lawyer can send John’s lawyer his bill for all this court drama.

P~ 

Better than a call from Mickey!!!

P.S. I’m also pissed he sold my gazebo I found on Craig’s List. I sanded, stained and sealed it myself.  John has a lot of experience with Craig’s List.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: ,
Apr 4, 2011

Child exchange drama

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Note: exchange time is at 5PM unless agreement of earlier or later time has been made.

April 4, 2011 4:36 PM

I receive a text from Mr. Delauter “my truck broke down heather is getting tesla she might be there a little early”

I respond “I am not comfortable with that.  Sorry. Call me when u can get here.”

Mr. Delauter calls me immediately screaming at me to send Tesla with Heather.  I tried to tell him to just come when he has a vehicle but he begins swearing at me and threatening to not let Tesla’s brothers or aunt pick her up anymore.  I hang up. 

5:14 PM  Heather arrives and states I need to “stop playing games” and let her have Tesla.  I told her I don’t know her or anything about her and will not make my daughter leave with her.  Heather refuses to leave my parents and says she will wait for John to show up and put Tesla in her van.  She was quick to point out that this was not my property. (Yeah, no shit!  You’re already living in my property!)  I tell my dad who is out there and why.  He could see that Tesla was upset.  He asked me if I knew her and I said her name is Heather and she’s John’s new girlfriend.  Dad rolled his eyes..lol

5:30 PM John arrives on his motorcycle flying up the driveway like a madman.  He begins yelling at me immediately.  Saying I put in Tesla head she shouldn’t go with Heather.  Tesla told her dad she didn’t want to go with Heather but would ride on his cycle. (he rode her around at the house and to the neighbors in the past)  John tells her she has to get in the van.  John tells Heather that I put it in Tesla head not to go with her.  He continues yelling at me, upsetting Tesla even more until she was in tears again.  He says I should have “made Tesla go with Heather because Heather lives in HIS house.”  Sorry, but no where does it say I must let Tesla go with a stranger.

 I told him to quit yelling at me and that I didn’t put anything in Tesla’s head.  Tesla finally gets in the van and John tells me not to send anyone to the house for Tesla because he is not going to let anyone (meaning Tesla’s blood-related family) pick her up for me.  This conversation of course contained him swearing at me, accusing me of putting in Tesla head she doesn’t have to go with Heather.   Tesla saw Heather and was clearly unwilling to leave with her by her own rights.

At no time, did I say anything like that to Tesla.  She has known Heather approximately 5 weeks.  Maybe Tesla just isn’t comfortable either!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Mar 30, 2011

That sinking feeling

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Everyone knows what that sinking feeling in the stomach is like.  I have become too damn familiar with it unfortunately. 

I get that feeling when I have to:

Talk to John.

 participate in group discussion and know I haven’t read the text. 

See John.

poop and there is no toilet nearby.

Text John.

go to the dentist for a check up.

You get the picture…..

Today, I felt it again.  Right after a test in art class.  I had finished up my test and handed it in, that sinking feeling arrived.  Knocking around inside my belly, twisting up my guts.  I checked my notes and sure enough, I had confused two pieces of art.  That confirmed that one essay question was going to be entirely wrong.  I felt like it was going well during the test but the reality of it is…. I screwed that one question up royally.

Does screwing up one question cause complete failure on the test?  Hell no!  Am I going to get all hung up on this wrong answer?  Hell no!  Does this make me want to give up my art class?  Hell no!  Fight that sinking feeling!  I am a floater!!!  LMAO

I have a sinking feeling about this upcoming Monday at York County Courthouse.  Anytime someone has to go to the courthouse, it certainally causes a sinking feeling.  Being charged with contempt and accused of trying to wreck the business I helped established is a tough pill to swallow.  One gets tired of constantly defending herself, yet this marriage and divorce seems to force me into this position practically daily. 

Cross your fingers for me on Monday.  I’ll let you know how the gavel falls!

~P.

Update on my Art test…..I pulled a 92%  Guess I knew what I was talking about after all.  hahah

Filed Under: College, Divorce, John · Tagged: , ,
Mar 29, 2011

CONTEMPT!

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I hate parking in York to go to the courthouse.  Yet again, I have to go in.  It’s not domestic this time.  I am charged with contempt for interferring with business.  Specifically, John claims I called Yellowbook and changed the mailing address to cause him to lose business because he didn’t run an ad in the phonebook.  Now he wants Judge Ness (same judge that evicted me from the house based on lies) to make ME pay for the phonebook ad AND his lawyer fees.  WTF?

I haven’t had anything to do with the business.  This is John’s way of tying up the divorce process me costing me lawyer fees.  Will this ever end???

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged:
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