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Mar 5, 2012

Soooo quiet

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Tesla went with her dad. It’s sooo quiet here. 😦

Her leaving went smoothly tonight. Unlike other nights.

John and/or Heather and/or kids seem compelled to accompany Tesla during the exchange. Sometimes all the way up to my car, parked at the top of the driveway. When John comes to get Tesla, I don’t even go to the door. This is much less stressful for Tesla and me. I am proud of her for sucking it up with all that goes on around her. Every time we are together Tesla drills me on why she can’t live with me. I tell her I am working on something with my lawyer to change that.

In the meantime, we must enjoy the time that we have together, not argue and practice using our patience. This part sounds very familiar, maybe because I had a similar conversation with her father years ago….so much for that speech working on the other Delauter.

Tesla told me she is remaining hopeful that she can change schools next year. Ok, she didn’t say it that way but she got the point across. I remain hopeful that a Divorce Master will finalize this divorce and the dust will settle. Only then can I really begin to plan for Tesla and my future.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Mar 2, 2012

Dear John~You need to learn to communicate

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Dear John,

No need to mince words here.  You SUCK at communicating.  I realize it’s probably because you never learned to communicate properly.  I know you at least went to Kindergarten so I really don’t see how you screwed learning communication up so badly.  Everyone knows you learn the most important things in Kindergarten.  I suggest you join Tesla’s class more often, not as a volunteer, but as a student.

Yesterday, Tesla was SO sick she couldn’t speak to me on the phone ALL day.  You refused to tell  me what her doctor said and what symptoms she was experiencing.  All you wanted to say was it was my fault she was sick even though I haven’t had Tesla in two weeks.

Today I had to call her SCHOOL to see if she was there.  What the hell is your problem with Tesla talking to me?  You couldn’t let her call this morning so I could hear her voice and find out how she is.  If she went back to school today, I promise she wasn’t sick with what I had.  Especially since I think mine was food poisoning.  (That’s not contagious)

Thank God I get Tesla back today.  She needs a break from her whiny father.

~P.

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Mar 2, 2012

Far as we are concerned

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Tesla and I are good.

 

If Tesla can draw a picture and I title it, we have had a great day.

Chillin’ wit a Happy Pickle,

~P.

Filed Under: Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Mar 1, 2012

“He is whiny”

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Zip it

 

Dale texted me.  That really did make me “lol!”

I had forwarded the text John sent me to him.  Got that?

**skip if easily distracted**  (It is funny that, in the phone given to me by my sister Suz has John listed as J Hole.  His messages  are from Hole, J.  Very funny Susan 🙂 🙂 😀 😀  Ok, so Suz had no real part in this conversation and is avoiding me right now anyway.)

“Tesla is very sick you gave her your bug”

I read the text a second time, became very annoyed and sent this response back to Hole, J.

“I think she gave it to me after it went through everyone at your house three times.  Have her call and I will comfort her.  Ty.”

I’m still not sure about the call at 8:02 AM.  Was that Tesla calling me? Or was it John, wanting to point his short, pudgy finger?  I called J Hole, not blocking my number and he answered.  Told me Tesla was sleeping and I requested she call when she woke.  I thanked him and hung up.  Will I hear from Tesla?

These are the days of my life,

~P.

**another distraction** (Suz had me listed as Pattio in my new-to-me phone.  A name Uncle Walty made up for me.  Uncle Walty was made up by J Hole.  It’s a twisted, name calling, soap opera.)

P.S.  There will be a quiz.

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, John, Just Life, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Feb 29, 2012

someone’s gotta earn the money there

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Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

Thank you for making the effort to be human today.  I was very upset with you for not making arrangements for Tesla to leave school with me.  It’s bad enough I am no longer “authorized” to pick up my child.  I just don’t grasp your need to tell the school I can never pick up Tesla without your permission.  It seems just a bit extreme to me.  Do you think I’m going to take off in my 92 Ford Accord with highly visible bumper sticker and windshield sticker announcing  “GIRLBOXER1970” and make a run for the Mexican border with Tesla?  Seriously, get a grip.  When Tesla tells me she doesn’t see me enough I respond with, “I agree.  I don’t see you enough either honey, but right now, there isn’t much Mommy can do right now.  I promise to keep working on it.”

Regardless, it was nice to see you realized the error in your ways and made it right.  I just don’t think I should have to beg/guilt you into letting me see her.  I hope this could become a habit for you, sharing our daughter.  Perhaps then your daughter wouldn’t beg me to keep her when I do get to see her.

Finally, don’t jump my throat about Tesla’s homework.  YOU are responsible to check her homework.  This is the third or fourth time she did not have her name on her paper.  You say she did and you saw her write it, yet magically it was not there today.  I don’t need to hear your snide remarks when all I said was “Tesla’s name wasn’t on her homework.”  I also will pass on hearing how you have to go work on jobs now cause “somebody has to earn some money around here.”  What the hell does that have to do with me?  Tell your girlfriend who’s been trying to get a nursing degree for the past 10 years and can’t seem to graduate, to get a job.  Hopefully very little spelling is involved in being a nurse.

I realize you think you’re perfect.  I’m thrilled when you realize you’re not.

Next time, please take care of the note in advance.  I always give you amble notice when I would like to get Tesla, yet you wait until the last-minute to respond.  I sadly have to call block my cell number just so you will answer.  That is just petty.  I take your calls even though I can’t stand to hear your voice.

Man up and take mine!

~P.

PS. Please wash Tesla’s purple jacket.  It is filthy.

Filed Under: John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Feb 24, 2012

Maybe it’s just me

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but I doubt it.

 

I believe I have a right to be pissed off that the mortgage I hold with my husband is once again way behind.

He doesn’t have to pay child support or alimony anymore.  He apparently has plenty of money to go on vacation, buy another ATV, build all kinds of wooden structures in our back yard, redesign the inside of our house, redo the landscape of our property, enroll 4 kids in gymnastics at $44 each a month…I could go on, but the point is clear.

His girlfriend still gets alimony and child support….and welfare assistance while living in my house that is behind AGAIN in payments.

I take out school loans to make my rent.  Maybe Heather needs to hurry up and take out a school loan to make my house payments.  John’s explantion in court regarding his ability to come up with $15,000 to keep the house from foreclosured last year  just didn’t make sense.  He said he sold some stuff.  What the fuck is he selling to come up with $15k?  Telling Judge Dorney he had the mortgages current was bullshit and her believing him without making him prove it just shows how bad she screwed up.  The mortgage hasn’t been current since I lived there with John.

I get very little time with my child, yet the bitch living in my house sees Tesla like she is her mother.   I don’t see that Heather is even talented at taking care of her own children.  Just my opinion, of course.

Like I said, maybe it’s just me.  I have been sick for the past 12 hours.  Food poisoning I think and thank God I’m feeling better.

I’ve asked to see Tesla over and over.  My requests fall on deaf ears.  It’s all about John’s need to feel he is in control.

Divorce wanted,

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Feb 24, 2012

Scheduled Control

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What is scheduled control?

When a person (A) in power feels he or she must strictly schedule another persons (B) day.   The amount of power held by A varies, depending on the relationship held with B.

For Example:

1.  John (A) has a large amount of power over Tesla (B) because A is the father of B and has a court order that A believes empowers him to:

a. Rigidly set B a schedule that allows very small amounts of personal time for B to make a choice in how her time is spent.

b. Making a schedule for B that is so vague it is clear A is exercising coercive power to avoid allowing B the opportunity to make a choice in how her time is spent.

2.  John (A) has a large amount of power over Pattie (C) because A is the husband of C and B is the daughter of A and C.

a.  Majority of  attempts by C to contact  A results in continual avoidance of answering the text messages, email and phone calls.

b. A regularly asserts power over B and C by changing the schedule of B at a moments notice to cause distress to C.

3.  Pattie (C) will in time, have a large amount of power over C because eventually A is going to fuck up so bad that B will be disgusted by his pathetic attempt to control her schedule.

a. Result hypothesis:  A and C= Happy    B=Sad

THAT is what scheduled control is!

~P.

P.S.  Yes, I wrote all that myself.  A little bit of psych, a little bit of human communication and a large dose of controlling personalities.   Maybe “scheduled control” will become a new psychology term.  I didn’t bother to look if it might be one already.  🙂

 

Filed Under: College, Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Feb 22, 2012

communicating is easier with a 5 year old

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Here is a sample of the gut-wrenching bullshit I go through because of divorce and custody.

I’ve been working hard to finish two papers for class tomorrow.  I also have to study for a test in Human Communications.

Because of this I tried to communicate to my husband that I should probably stay home and continue working instead of driving to the gymnastics studio and having very little interaction with Tesla.  I didn’t bother to mention that I realize he is not going to let me drive Tesla back to the house after gymnastics and he may never let me drive Tesla home after any activity.

Along with communicating this thought, I also asked if I could get Tesla after school tomorrow for a few hours.  He said he would check his schedule and let me know.  Really, his schedule?

I decided to call (blocking my number) John so I could talk to Tesla.  I had to insist on talking to Tesla before gymnastics started.   First thing out of her mouth is she wants to see me.  I explained to her that I had a lot of homework and a test to study for and that I should stay home.  She wasn’t happy to hear that but did understand.  I told her that tomorrow after school I could probably get her and we could spend some time together.  She liked this idea but then said, “I know you won’t get me.  You won’t be allowed.”  I told her, “You don’t know that Tesla.  We will see.”  The line went quiet and then she came back on and said goodbye and the phone disconnected.

So, do I go to her gymnastics practice even though seeing her practice is difficult?  The viewing area is small and restrictive and no one is allowed inside the gymnasium.  I could go and hope I can talk to her for a few minutes without the usual drama.  I could hope he will let me drive her home.  That’s a lot of hoping.   Ahhhhh!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t go to gymnastics.  It makes more sense to stay home and study.  I’m not going to run out there tonight when tomorrow I could spend some real time with Tesla.

I’m hoping that tomorrow I will be granted a few hours with my daughter.

Here’s to hoping,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Feb 19, 2012

See, she can match

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Tesla dressed herself today.  At almost 6 years old, she has no problem dressing herself.

I’ve been accused of letting my daughter dress in clothes that don’t match, that are too big, and are boys clothes.

For the record, it’s not me.  She picks her own clothes out.

And today, she wanted her clothes to match.

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~P.

Filed Under: Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Feb 19, 2012

Squids n spiders

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What Tesla and I did.

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Black Squid
Spectacular Spider

Filed Under: Art, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
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