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Jul 18, 2011

Dear John III

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Dear John,

I was surprised when you told me you were sending my check written to the moving company to domestics.  “I’m not cashing it.” you told me.

Well, you can’t cash it really, it’s written to the company.  I asked you why you were doing this and you responded in a text (impressive) with “Because you just said you’re hurting for money so I’m not cashing the check and putting it towards my child support so you don’t have to be out of the money out-of-pocket right now.”

I texted you back “Tearing up the check would b better 🙂  Most helpful 2 TT n I.”

I wasn’t surprised with your text back, “That’s not gonna happen. :-)”

“Of course not.  You enjoy seeing me struggle.”  I replied.  Loved the smiley icon in your text.  Is there a snear smiley available in your phone?

I’ll struggle but survive, even in the 96 degree weather,with no air conditioning in my car or house.  I’m sure you have the AC on at home, chilling the house.  You can always jump in our swimming pool to cool off.  I really miss that pool these days!

So, I’ll get some child support out of the check I sent you.  Maybe $85 or so out of the $106 I wrote the check for.  You’ll get $106 credited towards your child support and somehow, I suppose, not have to claim that income on the business records.  Yes, had you forced me to pay cash it would have been much easier on you.  Sorry about wanting to follow the rules in running a business.

Tesla is checking out the new house.  She says it’s beautiful.  Isn’t she just a sweetie!  Gets that from her momma!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 17, 2011

Dear John II

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Dear John,

I realize you might not read this right away as you all are on vacation.  I hope it’s going great!

Things are going well back in PA for me.  I’m surrounded by half unpacked boxes that are staring me down, wondering when I’ll finish emptying them.  This weekend has been incredibly productive in many ways.  Tesla and I now have a house of our own.  My friends and family were here for me on moving day and one of our employees that I just met.  His name was Randy and he did fantastic work on the job.  I was happy to give him a $20 tip for this excellent work.  The actual cost of my move is on an invoice.  It’s a strange feeling signing an invoice as a customer instead of as the owner.  Remember when I ordered those first set of company invoices?   Instructed the printing company what the company name was, our address and phone number?  It was exciting seeing the company develop into a legitimate business!

Back to paying for my move, I began writing the check out to the company name and Randy stopped me saying I had to pay cash.  Where the hell is that coming from John?  Why do I have to pay cash?  You afraid my check might bounce as you know how little you send every other week for child support and alimony?

“I’m writing the check to the company.  I have an invoice.” I tell Randy, my A1 moving helper.

“John said you were to pay in cash.”  Randy suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  Poor guy, I could tell he was already shook up.

“I don’t care what John said, I’m writing a check, but I do have a $20 tip in cash for you.”  I responded, feeling bad for my employee.  I had become the unco-operative customer who was going to do what she wanted, regardless of what he said.

“I have to call John, because I need the cash and $40 of it goes for the fuel in the truck.” Randy said.  He looked absolutely miserable knowing he had to make this phone call.

“Okey Dokey,” I replied.  “If you want, I can call him.  I know the number.” I offered.

“No, I’ll call.”  He declined, but I knew I would wind up having to talk to John no matter who dialed the cell number.  I wonder if Randy has John listed as #2 on his speed dial?  Though I rarely use it other than calling Tesla, he still makes #2, after the voice mail.  Someday, Tesla’s phone number will be my #2.

Randy calls John and tells him I want to write a check.  Isn’t that how it IS supposed to work in the business of being a mover?  You move me, I write a check to pay you.  Sure I got a HUGE discount on my move.  Randy at his hourly rate and $40 fuel surcharge.  That was a great deal and I have no complaints, other than FREE would have been ever better.  I mean, I did find the truck we used, online for our company.  Infact, I think all 3 of our trucks in service, I picked out and you agreed they would make good business purchases for the company.  Heck, I issued the first check making the payments on it, at one time in life.  Regardless, the move was completed and I could not be happier with the results.

What I do have a problem with is you wanting me to write the check not to the company but to Randy himself.  I realize I am throwing a wrench in the works with you being away from the office, already on the road the camp.  (Wow, you are camping?  Remember this blog? http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/03/02/i-used-to-camp-then-the-sheraton-became-toughing-it/ )  Now wait a minute here, I couldn’t use the truck without having Randy because of workers compensation and if I would wreck….  Yeah, ok I didn’t argue as this move was as legit as I could afford.  $103 to move stuff 3/10 of a mile with a second trip to Dover for my shit that’s been in storage since Feb of 2009.  It’s a good deal, but one I’m writing a check for.

“Just let me talk to him,” I said for about the 3rd time, reaching my hand out to Randy for the damn cell phone.  I was seconds away from just calling myself if he didn’t part with his cell soon.

“Ok.”  Handing me his phone, Randy wasn’t looking happy at all.  Not only did he have to call the big boss because the “invisible boss from the past” was suddenly present and making things seem complicated, but he KNEW there was only a check in the near future.

“Hello John” I greeted you on Randy’s phone.  At this point, I really don’t remember if you got any words in.

Why?  Because I immediately reminded you that I had an invoice for my move and I was writing a check to the company.  There was no way in hell I was writing a check to the employee and nothing you said was changing my mind and I hung up.  Well, actually I just handed the phone back to Randy who was staring at me in disbelief.  I guess he never heard anyone tell the Boss John what was going to happen.

That’s the beauty of my life now.  I swear I am SO over being told by you how my life should be run.  Just enjoy how your life is now and let’s get this divorce over.  Then you can rush into marrying Heather and start all over again, like last time.

Back opening boxes of my life’s little treasures, and having the memories poke me with sharp little sticks.  No worries though, I am feeling fantastic about where I am in life.  I accept that meeting you was important in my life.  I think it’s sad our life didn’t work out but I can’t let that get me down.  I hope you and Heather are having an awesome time on vacation this weekend.  I’m glad Tesla has somewhere positive to be while I restart our life with a permanant address.  Someday I will have money to take her on a vacation.  I just have to be patient, like these boxes, randomly sitting through-out the house waiting for me to finish unpacking them.

Patience is a virtue, but empty boxes are the bomb!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 11, 2011

Kids First

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Yesterday I attended the court ordered Kids First workshop.  It is designed to teach parents how to help their children with separation and divorce.  I chose the first class on a Saturday that was available.  Guess who also chose the same day?  If you guessed John, you would be correct!  Also joining John was his girlfriend, Heather.  Oh the irony….

So the group of 30 parents sat around a huge table and our instructor asked how many were attending with a co-parent.  I raised my hand, but John didn’t.  The numbers didn’t work out evenly and she asked again.  This time she thought John’s co-parent was the woman beside me.  I volunteered that he was my husband to clear things up.  Our instructor complimented the 6 of us who were attending the same time as our co-parents.  Shortly after that, John asked the instructor to step outside.  When they returned, John ordered Heather to get up because they were leaving.  Her response was “I don’t think that’s a good choice.”  What she thought didn’t matter because out the door they went.

The rest of us started with the workshop and I have to admit, it was very educational.  I hope that John and Heather both attend.  I actually think it’s great that Heather is going also.  This class may open both their eyes….it did open mine.

There were serious rain storms over the weekend.  My newly carpeted and linoleum floors were ruined and water was everywhere.  My room-mate was certain there wouldn’t be any flooding issues, but he was wrong.  I’m looking at apartments again and this time I’m NOT moving into a basement!  I hope to find an apartment in Eastern York school district so custody is no longer an issue.  Tesla’s health is most important to me and I can not stay living here now that I know it will flood.

My never dull life….

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
Jul 5, 2011

Redneck 4th of July

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River Rednecks are the Bestest!

I had a great weekend with friends and family.  It was Tesla’s weekend with her dad and I missed her.  If it had been my weekend with Tesla I wouldn’t have made it to the Redneck River party every 4th of July down at the river.  I’ve been so busy with school I haven’t taken a trip down by the Accomac Mill.  It’s that part of the river that the REAL rednecks party.

There’s these two brothers, twins actually, and oddly enough, both are butchers.  Mike and Pat and they know how to throw a party.  Roasted pig on site, lots of food, beer, boats, a band and people.  It’s amazing just how small the world is once people begin to gather by the waterfront.  There’s never a dull moment either.  For instance, Pat’s daughter was so enthusiastic about jumping on the back of a four-wheeler, she seriously injured her leg.  Just keep the alcohol flowing and she’ll be fine till morning!  And she was…until he drinks wore off that is, then she was ready to go to the hospital.  But that’s getting ahead of the story.

We swam in the river and no one was swept away by the current.  Always a great thing!  The water was warm and inviting and a group of 5 or 6 of us splashed around.  Never hurts to have friends splashing you, as for the rock skipping and eventual rock tossing…I could have passed.  Drunks and large rocks shouldn’t mix.  Cute guys and beer mix, and make them so easy to make fun of.

The bonfire warmed us right back up after the refreshing dip and the band started to play.  For a hundred bucks, those couple of guys rocked the party.  They played a little bit of everything and we all sang and danced along.  The band packed up right before the down pour, including lightning and thunder.  I believe there was 5 of us huddled under and completely unsafe metal tent.  What really are the chances of getting struck by lightning down by the river?  One guy was crashed out on a rubber mat with a blanket and happy as a clam.  I must say it was visually spectacular.

Around 5 am, the guys helped Jada get into her uncle Mike’s house.  Less than an hour later she called her mom in major pain.  Ironically, she’s in medical school in Philadelphia and diagnosed her injury on the spot as a sprained or even torn ligaments.   I stayed up a little longer talking to a good-looking guy.  We watched the sun come up but it  wasn’t terribly exciting.  Cloudy, drizzling and damp doesn’t bring out much emotion other than the dread of walking to the house for a dry place to sleep.  It seemed so much easier just to stay under the tent, chatting with the hot dude.  🙂

I missed every boat ride that went out, but even from the bank,  the Marietta fireworks were beautiful and reflected on the river.  Hanging out with old friends and making new ones was a great time.  People are a different breed down by the river, but not one of us would change them!

Sunday, I basically recovered from the lack of sleep and watched Gladiator.  I even broke out a little Spanish homework.  I needed a day of rest.

Today, I went on a bike ride with my friend Tani.  I met her in Abbotstown then we rode the Appalachian Harley Davidson.  They were closed, which I guess shouldn’t have surprised us.  There were many Harleys in the parking lot so we chatted with some other bikers.  From there we went to Olive Garden and stuffed ourselves like we may never get another meal.  Even Olive Garden’s salad rocks.

After the bike ride, I picked up Tesla and we came home.  Several friends and neighbors came over and we cooked out, swam and set off fireworks.  My dog Ying may never recover.  He didn’t like the small fireworks the night before and ran off, not returning until 1:30 am.  He managed to open the screen door and finally crashed for the night.  Hard to say how many ugly puppies he created in that timeframe.

My sister Suz and Blaine came over also.  Matthew, the neighbors kids and Tesla were wow by the fireworks.  Great night with family and friends and I look forward to more summer gathering.  It’s wonderful to have family and friends that want to visit!

Happy 4th of July my friends and family!  I hope yours was as great as mine turned out.

~P.

 

Filed Under: Family, Friends, Pets, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Jun 30, 2011

Mi rutina (My routine)

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My second Spanish composition….

En la mañana yo quiero ir el parque y jugar el béisbol con me hija.  Nos
gusta escuchar a las gritas de los niños mientras ellos juegan el béisbol.  Yo paso mucho tiempo con me hija en la pincina.  Nosotras preferimos nadar en agua
el fresco.  Me hijo trabaja a la pincina y nosotras vamos para ver a ello.

En la tarde, vamos a pasear y compartimos la conversacion.  Nosotras
comemos el helado en el verano.  Yo prefiero el chocolate y ella prefierie la frutilla.  Espero viajar a la playa y tomar el sol.

En la noche yo tengo muchas responsabilidades en la casa.  Yo tengo qué preparar la cena por las familias.  Ellos tienen mucho hambre por el bistec y la langosta.  Nosotros desamos
comer la comida deliciosa.  Después de la cena yo limpio la cocina.  Me familia
mira la television.  Yo prefiero la lectura en el noche.

Mis muchachas van a las montañas conmigo.    Nosotras llegamos en la tarde.  Ellas preparan ir de excursion.  Las montañas son cerca del río.  Nosotras encuentramos las piedras bonitas.  Mi hijo, Jarrid es muy tonto.  Él tiene mucho miedo  el pez.
Jarrid no le gustan las pecas.

Mi pasatiempo favorito es ser con mi familia.  Yo tengo dos bueno hijos y
una inteligente hija.  Yo escribo electrónico por Jarrid y Zeth a leer.
Nosotros también hablamos por el teléfono celular.   Ellos gusta habla con Tesla todos los días.

~P

Filed Under: College, Jarrid, Spanish 101, Tesla, Zeth · Tagged: ,
Jun 29, 2011

Itty bitty nonexistent feelings

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So much for freedom of speech

Went to court on Monday and of course, nothing was accomplished.  Now the mediator is telling John and I that if we can’t decide on Tesla’s school on our own, a judge will decide.  If a judge doesn’t hear our case prior to school starting, Tesla won’t start kindergarten.  John gave me “the look” and rolled his eyes like I am causing all this drama.  If Tesla wanted to go to kindergarten and live in our house with her father and his girlfriend (and 4 other children) she would say so.

John’s lawyer had print out of my blog (I guess she could be a daily reader also!)  Her first example was my birthday wish for the future ex.  The mediator didn’t see the humor in the middle finger cake.  Ironic as I didn’t see humor in being called a “horrible fucking mother” and a “fucking bitch” in front of my daughter and sons.  I can’t copy and paste a middle finger cake into a blog, but he can call me whatever he wants as long as no one hears him.

My lawyer and I are strategically planning our counter suit.  In the meantime, I will no longer call John any of my awesome, well thought out nicknames.   Suddenly I’m hurting his itty-bitty, non-existent feelings.  Guess his skin isn’t as thick as he thought it was because at one time, he didn’t give a damn what I was going to write about.  If the blog is upsetting him…..what’s the book going to do?!?

Back to studying my Spanglish….this summer class will never end!

~P.

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged:
Jun 24, 2011

court again this month

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Well, I’m charged with contempt again.  John is dragging me into court with a laundry list of complaints against me.  Yesterday when I asked him about it he said “I didn’t even know about it.  My lawyer must have filed it.”  Yeah, ok John.

So what are the charges?

1.  I didn’t tell him where I was moving to or my new phone number.

Actually, I did tell him I was moving.  In fact my dad told him I was going to be moving because my parents were selling the house.  John knew I was looking at apartments well before I found my current home.  Also, my phone number never changed.

Prior to moving in, on Wednesday, May 25th John asked to pick up Tesla early.  I told him I was at the house Tess and I would be moving to and he was welcome to pick her up and see where we would be living.  He came and picked her up so obviously he knew where I was going to be living with Tesla.

2.Mother has established a blog on which she violates the stipulated order “take all measures deemed advisable to foster a feeling of affection between the child and other party.  In direct violation of this provision, she continues to post insults, negative comments and inappropriate statements about Father for the public to view and comment on, including people that have direct interaction with the child.”

Tesla isn’t reading my blog.  No one is reading it to her.  The dramatic change in Tesla’s demeanor, personality and attitude towards her father is because Tesla is catching on to the type of person her father is.  What I’m blogging about is the truth and he can blog about his point if he would like!

3. Mother may be residing with a third party that Mother only recently met on Craigs list.

He has met my room mate.  I told John he can see where we live (just John and not the whole circus.)  Funny how where I move is under a microscope, yet he can move anyone into our home and I am not to question it.

4. Father believes it is in the child’s best interest to be enrolled in the school district where he resides, as he has more flexibility with his job to be available and flexible in transporting the child to and from school and other activities.

This is a man who lives on his cell phone and at a moments notice will have to run out the door for some issue concerning the business.  He has no problem using Tesla’s daycare when he doesn’t have anyone to watch Tesla.  I go to school in the late morning and I’m done in the early afternoon.  I am ALWAYS available to my daughter.

5. Mother has failed to communicate with Father regarding important information concerning the child and has potentially placed the child in danger by moving into a residence with someone she recently met on Craigslist.

My room mate is an upstanding member of the community.  He has friends high on the food chain in Pennsylvania.  He is a widower and retired from serving our country.  I don’t get in his business and I’m trying to keep him from being forced into my business.  Unfortunately, the future ex is hell bent on making life difficult.

Will this actually go to court….who knows.  Does he actually have anything that can be held against me….hell no.  Am I ready to point out all his character flaws….hell yeah!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Jun 23, 2011

Under a rock in Spain

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Calpe rock~Calpe, Spain

I haven’t been blogging lately as Spanish is taking up all my time.  Ifeel like I’m living under a rock!  Two hours in class from Mon-Thurs and Spanish tutoring two hours in the afternoon or evening depending on schedules.  Also consuming my time is my visits to my darling friend Kristin.  She started learning Spanish in 7th grade through college.  God Blessed this woman with patience, as I torture her in my ignorance.

There has been several break throughs since I began taking Summer Spanish.  I was tempted to drop it, but I’ve decided to stick it out and throw my heart into it.  I’ve even started talking to Tesla in Spanish because talking to a 5 year old is so much easier!  My ego was a bit crushed when I was counting cookies on the kid’s napkins at Tesla’s daycare.  A little boy named Sherrod heard me miss a number and was quick to correct me.  I started to giggle, then all the kids began giggling and next thing I know the little girl to Tesla’s right announced she was made of trees.  Sherrod chimed in next being made of cheeseburgers followed by a little boy who was made of dinosaurs.  Tesla giggled along but didn’t announce what she was made of.  I was tempted to announce I was made of macaroni and cheese, but snack time was winding down and Tesla and I were ready to leave the tiny table with tiny chairs.

Back to Spanish, we had an oral exam on Tuesday.  I was nervous but decided if I screwed up, how bad could it be?  I spoke with a partner asking him where he was from, how old his father was, where he works, if he had a girlfriend and what was his favorite beer.  The prof. and classmates found that amusing.  Even more amusing was the professor telling us when everyone was done that 4 people mispronounce anos and gave their ages in anus.  Easy, but embarrassing one to screw up.  I, Thank God, did not announce I have 40 anuses.

We received our grades today for the oral exam in class.  I received a 36/40.  Considering my test scores have been in the 60’s I was happy.  Tonight I had a break-through in ar and ir verbs congigating.  Felt so good that I called it a night, took a shower and decided to blog because I was seriously tempted to pick up my Spanish book and see what else I can teach an old dog.  Speaking of dogs…my room mate John has an eleven year old son.  Their dog ran off and never came back.  She was old and I’m guessing was ready to call it a good life.  To replace Lola, Mattchew (my nickname for him) picked out a kitten through a friend of a friend of mine…The kitten is cute and very friendly.  We were throwing out names ideas and two of mine became top choices (after John and I convinced Mattchew that Bob wasn’t a cool name for a kitten.  My suggestion that stuck was Nytro….the one that almost made first choice….Taco.

~P.

PS-John told me in Hawaii, taco means octopus.  Now that’s weird!

 

Filed Under: College, Spanish 101, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , ,
Jun 13, 2011

Spanglish 101

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A book I probably can't read yet

First, I want to apologize for how butchered this paper is if you are fluent in Spanish.  This is my first Spanish course with no previous high school class and first attempt at writing more than two sentences…that have to make sense.  I have no clue how to make accent marks while writing in Spanish….or upside down !….or upside down ?  Help!  Ayudar!

Spanish 101

 

                Hola, me llama Pattie Crider.  Yo soy estudiente
y detras de me companeros en aprender Española.  Me no gustan malas notas.  Ojala que te mas experiencia en Espanola!    Yo disfrutar la estudia de toda lengua. Me gusta leer y escritar cuentos para megusto.  Yo preferir cuentos en Ingles!

                Me gusta relajarse y comer galletas y bebida leche.
Yo no gusta leche en me el libro.  Me gusta fotofrafia me poca chica.
La llama es Tesla y no despues de musical banda.  Me gusta musical banda de me juvetud en la diecinueve ochentas.

                Tesla y yo disfrutar bailar y cantar.  Me quere Tesla muchisimo!  Ella es de sol luz de mi vida.  Nos no gusta alguien despertarse temprado de la manana.  Estamos cansada
de la manana!  Nos gusta a dormir hasta nueve de la manana y arreglar desayunar juntas.

                El primera comida de dia importante, mi madre dicha.  Nos comer desayuno todos los dias que fins en i griega.  Comer una dieta equilibrada muy importante a nos.

 WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY…..

         Hello, my name is Pattie Crider.  I am a student
and behind my classmates in learning Spanish.
I do not like bad grades.  I wish that I had more experience with Spanish!
I enjoy the study of any language. I like to read and write short stories for my pleasure.  I prefer short stories in English!

I like to relax and eat cookies and drink milk.
I don’t like milk in my book.  I like photographing my little girl.  Her
name is Tesla and not after the music band. I like music bands from my youth in the 1980’s.

Tesla and I enjoy singing and dancing.  I love
Tesla so much!  She is the sun light in my life.  We don’t like anyone waking us
early in the morning.  We are tired in the morning!  We like to sleep until 9 AM
and then fix breakfast together.

The most important meal of the day, my mother said.
We eat breakfast on every day that ends in y.  Eating a healthy diet is very important to
us.

OK, IT’S A WORK IN PROGRESS.  THIS BEING THE ROUGH DRAFT.  SUMMER SPANISH 101 IS TAUGHT AT A BRUTAL SPEED.

Two months at Four days a week for Two hours a day.  Whew!

~P.

Filed Under: College, Spanish 101, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Jun 13, 2011

About 5

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I still get anxious when the child exchange takes place.  I love having my daughter, but dread the exchange.  One would think by now I would be over that anxiousness in picking up Tesla  knowing John is on his way.

I just can’t seem to shake it though.  My shrink and I see it occurring for several reasons.  Here’s five:

1. Seeing John causes intense negative feelings.  Yes, I am angry.  What woman wouldn’t be?

2.  John can not seem to resist walking UP the driveway where I have to park, to talk to me.  Wasn’t the POINT of me parking at the top of the drive when picking up Tesla, to avoid having to speak?

3. Hearing John say ridiculous things such as: A.  Make sure you check her head for ticks.  B. Did you tell Mommy you liked Disney World?  C.  Please make sure you send her swim suit back.  (Only to have Heather give me two of her daughters old swim suits to keep two days later.  WTF does someone remotely nice want to do with my husband?  Run while you still can!!!)

4.  Being greeted at my front door by John and Heather, like I might remotely invite them in.  Just TEXT ME and let me know Tesla’s ride has arrived.  She will magically appear at the door in just a few minutes.  Me, not seeing either of you, is a good thing in my world.

5.  The less I have to SEE you, TALK to you and interact with your latest girlfriend, THE BETTER.  This keeps me happy and doesn’t cause me to laugh in either of your faces or make a sarcastic but truthful statement, as I patiently wait for this long process of custody and marital goods to be settled.

What is necessary, in my humble opinion, is to get the inevitable over with so Tesla will remember as little as possible about this whole divorce process.  Unfortunately, it’s probably to late.  I know I can remember things that happened in the past when I was about 5.

~P.

 

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
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