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Feb 10, 2012

Reviews

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Recent reviews for Delauter’s A1 Moving Helpers.

Report Date: October 28, 2010

Company Name:
DELAUTER’S A-1 MOVING HELPERS
Category:
Moving
Services Performed:
Yes
* More Weight is given to a report where work has been completed.
Work Completed Date:
October 07, 2010
Last Modified Date:
November 23, 2010
Hire Again:
No
Approximate Cost:
$4,100.00
Home Build Year:
1994
Description Of Work:
I originally met and spoke with the owner, John Delauter.  During our first meeting he brought his 4-year-old daughter that I had to entertain just to keep her quite so that he could do his estimate/job.  That should have been my first red flag but having a daughter myself, I understand how children can be.   But come on this is your business; find a sitter while you’re out doing your quotes…. Now before I go any further with my complaints, I will tell you that I am the easiest person to get along with and to work with.  Now with that being said, we came up with a price originally he quoted me $4,300.00.  Which I thought was outrageous.  He said ok then if you pay cash I will give you a break and charge $4,100.00.  He thought giving me one flat rate would be best. (I wanted to make note that I wrote my check out to his name at 11 am for the full amount and he had already cashed it before 12 noons.)  And that was before anything had taken place.  My move was from York, Pa.  To Crisfield, Md., which is about a 4 hour, drive.  So for that price, it included packing up my one bedroom apartment, which is only less than 400 square feet total.  I don’t keep a lot of clutter so the packing really didn’t take long.  It included 3 packers that came the following day, October 7, 2010. They had me packed up within a few hours.  I wasn’t around to see them pack up and when I returned, all the boxes were already stacked in the hallway so I couldn’t see what they had written on them.  The price included a 24ft truck, and 3 movers. With stops and pickup of additional furniture at Windsor (sectional sofa) which was up the street from him, then another stop on Carlisle road, (dining room set) then our final pick up was in Hanover, pa to pick up my roommates belongings which consisted of boxes, a grill and some additional smaller pieces of furniture.  Well when we got to Hanover, they quickly informed me that they didn’t have much room left so we had to end of leaving most of my new roommates boxes/furniture behind.  So I will now have to hire someone else to move those items and pay even more money on top of all the money I just paid out to John Delauter A1 Moving Helpers.   From Hanover we were on our way to Maryland.  To our new house, which they were supposed to go to and deliver our furniture in the rooms, provided for boxes/furniture that should have been marked for easy delivery.  It was anything but.
Member Comments:
Now the real problems.  I was elated with this company in the beginning I couldn’t praise them enough… then it all turned around, it all began when we were about to leave and I ask them do they know where they were going??  They looked at each other as if was crazy or something…and said no one gave use any direction.  Now as a professional company that I had assumed had done many of moves before would of had a GPS or something…no.they had nothing… so I told them to follow me… well they were driving about 40 miles per hour and at that rate we would of gotten at our destination at midnight.  So after I got to where I knew where I was going, I called them and told them to take my GPS and I would meet them there.  Immediately they got lost cause they didn’t know how to use the very user friendly GPS.  I helped them get back on track and continued on…. As I was pulled over waiting for them to find us so that we could give them my GPS, a women was broke down with her car…. her phone was dead so I elected to stay behind to help them till AAA got there.  Well that put them about a 1/2 hour ahead of me…so I call my sister-in-law ahead of time and ask her to ask them to please wait 15 mins that I would soon be there…they said no we are going to start moving her stuff/boxes into the house… she can move them where ever she wants them when she decides … they have a job at 6am in the morning and they have a long drive home cause they have over a 1000 boxes they have to move tomorrow morning…When I did arrived as indicated 15 to 20 mins later I walked into my house, which was my first time ever being in the house, it looked like a bomb had went off.  Boxes were scattered everywhere… furniture just sitting in the middle of each room… I ask the guys if they were going to help me put the furniture where it should be and they looked at each other like I was crazy for even asking them…I was scared to ask them to do anything cause if I did I felt they were going to bite my head off…There was absolutely no supervision whatsoever…I was later told that the one that one playing catch/ball with the neighborhood kids while passing my furniture to the other two guys, was suppose to be the supervisor.  This was a big surprise to me.  They finally got all my furniture/boxes in my house but not before causing damage, which I took many pictures of including the way everything looked when they were done.  The boxes were marked so bad that it literally took 2 weeks to sort thought the boxes to figure out where everything was suppose to go.  My hardwood floors that had just been rebuffed and shined had scratches and marks from dragging stuff instead of picking up the furniture/boxes.  There were nicks and scratches on most of the walls… I had to hire painters at my expense to get things back to the way the landlord had it.  Again another expense out of my pocket.   I have to hire someone to rebuff the hardwood floors, which is another expense to me.  They also cracked the showerhead, which now leaks, and the shower rod that was a special order, which cost over $200.00, was bent and had to be replaced.  They bent this probably rushing to take it down.  This move by far has cost me more than a down payment on a new house.  Let me give you an example of how some of the boxes were labeled.  Curtins (yes that is how it was spelled.) and instead of taking my curtains down, folding them and putting the rods in separate box…they wrapped the curtains around the rods and stuffed the in a box altogether.  Another box labeled: Cloth? Odds and ends, Kitchen but never put what was in box. Pantry, Food, cloths from bedroom. Cleaners, living room, again non-specific, Connie’s Stuff.  Everything was Connie’s stuff…so that made no sense.  So you can see why it took 2 weeks to go through everything…I had to start putting my own bed together cause if I didn’t I wouldn’t of had a place to sleep.  They were very little help…so that I could motivate them I ran out and got them drinks, offered food. Anything to keep them from complaining…. this has been by far the worst experience I have ever had with a company… So all in all they did about 20 hours worth of work.  When it was time for them to leave they were so worried that they were going to get lost so I even had to give the my GPS so that they wouldn’t get lost.  However, If I didn’t keep calling/texting, I don’t think they would of even of sent me back my GPS.  Just where do these companies come from????   So the way I see it they charged me $200.00 per hour.  So I went on line and also call a couple of other companies only to be told of how I got ripped off…that they saw me coming a mile away.  I understand that the going rate for 3 packers and one truck is about 95.00 per hour.   So I should have been charge only $1805.00 at the most.  And then on top of it they didn’t complete the entire move.   So I still have to go back to PA and hire someone to get the rest of my roommate’s items that they didn’t have room on the truck.  What also really angers me is I could of paid my 3 brothers $500.00 each.  And rented a Pensky Truck. (Which is what they pulled up in) so I could of done this whole move for under 1500.00 not $4100.00.  These people really ripped me off.   Had I got good service, and they didn’t do damage and had the called me back when I called to complain, and resolved my complaints then I wouldn’t be so angry about this whole situation.  The owner of the company won’t return my calls, all he has done is throw me onto one of his packers, which she promise she would talk with him and call me back.  When I didn’t hear back from her for a week, I decided to text him and then he responded to my text and when I ask him to call me he stopped texting.  That has been the extent of our conversation.  He hasn’t offered to take care of damages even though he claims to be insured and has offered no refund what so ever… I will never, ever use them nor refer them to anyone…. and every change I get unless I get some resolution, I will tell as many people as I can about this company… don’t let those testimonies fool you.  I made the mistake in believing them…don’t you do the same…thanks. This company completely misrepresented themselves.  Please just so you don’t end up kicking  yourself iyour you know what daily…DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT EVER USE THESE PEOPLE…EVER!!!

                      Stay As Far Away As Possible

Would give negative stars if possible. Hungover; broke items, took multitude breaks,complained, etc. all while being paid BY THE HOUR. Nice scam if you can get it.

September 30, 2011 by Lise Morin in York, PA

BAD, BAD, BAD Unethical owner & Company

Unfortunately you can’t give 0 stars to this sham of a company. John DeLauter makes all kinds of claims about the people he has moved, mostly attorneys & judges. He broke into my home without a court order and removed premarital items. After the judge ordered the items returned to the inside of my home to be inventoried for 30 days, he dumped them all of them in my driveway. DON’T TRUST HIM WITH ANYTHING HE SAYS.

January 14, 2012 by Frank Ferrentino in York, PA

 

Terrible Company and owner

He defied a court order to move the entire contents from a garage into the basement of an enclosed area, instead dumped the entire contents in the driveway of our property where the Judge had ordered we had 30 days to inventory it. We had to hire a reputable Company at our expense to move the items to our basement through Bilco doors. He wanted more money to perform a task he was supposed to do from the start. When you hear the name of John DeLauter, run as fast as possible!!!

January 16, 2012 by Madeline Mastro in Millville, NJ
Overall F
Price F
Quality F
Responsiveness F
Punctuality F
Professionalism F
Dispute Status: Penalty Box
Filed Under: John ·
Feb 9, 2012

Is she sick?

By · 1 Comment

I went to gymnastics tonight, looking forward to seeing Tesla practice.  I arrived early and was working on my Spanish while I waited for Tesla to arrive with her father. (Originally, I thought I would get her after school.  That was not permitted.)  Then I thought I would at least get to drive her home  after practice.

Well, that didn’t happen either.  At 5:52 PM I get a text from John.

“No gymnastics tonight all children have upset stomachs.”

Are you serious?  Eight minutes before gymnastics starts he texts me they aren’t coming.  I wrote back, “Why did you wait until now to tell me!?  I am at gym already.”  He didn’t respond which I expected. I called.  Voicemail.  😦

I texted him “Please let tt call me.”  No response.

I tried calling again.  Voicemail.  I let a message asking what is wrong with all the children?  Tesla had been complaining of stomach pains over my weekend with her.  I let her father know about the pain, low grade fever and what medication I gave her.  He called me later, asking again because Tesla was still hurting.

At 8:10 I texted “Please have tt call me.”  No response.

I have the right to speak to my daughter.  The right to know what is wrong with her and if she is going to be taken to see our doctor.

AND

I want to say goodnight to my child, especially if she doesn’t feel good.

 

~P.

 

Filed Under: John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Feb 8, 2012

Dear John~ domestics debacle

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Letters he nevers learns from

Dear John,

It wasn’t good to see you this morning.  I’m sure you felt the same way.

I was surprised when you came alone.  No lawyer in tow today?  I wonder why that is…did you feel you had everything under control yourself?  Or your lawyers weren’t available?  Your lawyers quit?  My lawyer sent him a letter back in December and so far, no response.  You know, I had a lawyer quit a couple of years back when this divorce process was started….by you.  He quit shortly after you emptied our entire house of everything and didn’t tell me.  Was I really surprised you did that?  No.  I didn’t have Tesla with me when I went there for the first time.  I thank God I didn’t because I don’t know how I would have explained where everything was.  You took out everything in 24 hours, even Tesla’s belongings.  I have pictures of this pathetic attempt to control things in the house.  Any respect I still had for you vanished that day.

Back to domestics, did you notice this time Carla was actually showing interest in what exactly our marriage situation is?  Perhaps they are going to look a little deeper at our case?  Or, maybe she was just being nosey ya know?  Asking the questions she did.  You have to admit, it is all fascinating.  The only draw back: it’s our life and what’s left of “our life” is just wrapping it up.  It really pisses me off that I am no longer entitled to alimony because I have a man living in my home. What kind of bullshit is that?  I’m not married to Dale, I’m married to YOU.  It’s not even about the money since it wasn’t that much.  It’s just the damn point.

What blows my mind is that you are going to file for child support.  Even Carla seemed surprised that you are insisting on holding me to pay you support.  You really do want it all don’t you?  The business, the house, our child and support payments to boot.  I tried to talk to you about support and you just refuse to even listen.  All you have to do is sign a piece of paper saying you do not request support.  Is that really asking too much?  The amount you would receive will be just as sad as my hourly rate.  It’s ironic that when we met, you told me to tell my son’s father he didn’t have to pay me the $200 a month support for Jarrid and Zeth.  Do you remember?  Saying to me, “$200 dollars a month is nothing.”  When I asked you what you thought I should have to pay you, your response was, “That’s up to the courts to decide.”  Since when do you want a court to decide anything?!

SO,  instead of me  wasting my time “looking for a job” or making a pitiful hourly wage, just realize how this will affect Tesla.    This will take away my availability to see Tesla, to study hard to keep my GPA high, and take care of my home.  Those are my “jobs” and  I have taken school loans out to the tune of $15,000 so far just to pay rent and live.  Oh, since we are still married, you are responsible for half….

Please take a moment and really think this over.  What’s best for Tesla is to spend time with her parents.  What is best for any child is to spend time with their parents and since we are separated we have to split her time.  It should be as equal as we can make it while living in different school districts.  I’ve never kept Tesla from you and ask that you would do the same for me.  She needs her mother to be part of her schedule, not an after-thought, every other weekend.  The more she sees me, the easier it will be for her to accept that she has to live with you.  She said to me that she told you she wanted to live with me and you told her “no.” Yes, legally, she is in your “custody” and you don’t have to share that time with me.   It is just selfish that you don’t want to.  I don’t ask for unreasonable amounts of time to see Tesla or even over night.  That threat you made, “You better drop this or I won’t let you see her except for every other weekend.”  You are threatening me with seeing her less, because I am asking to see her more than every other weekend.  Why would I drive there if she had no interest in going away with me?  She wants to see me.

There is no reason we can’t work out a schedule for Tesla and I to spend time together on a regular basis.

There is no reason I should have to get a part-time job to pay you support when every cent our moving company makes, you keep.

There is no reason Dale should be held responsible for me when I am still fucking married to you.

I am not saying I think you should have to pay child support to me.  What I am saying is: I think you are requesting child support just to be a jerk.  To make my life harder, which seems to make you happy.  I get that you want me to know you are “in control” of Tesla.  The person who doesn’t get it, is Tesla.  Our divorce is causing too much stress on her.

Let’s make a goal for 2012.  All four of us should try to get divorced from our spouses so we can get on with our lives.  Maybe then, Dale and I CAN get married!

I pray every night for this part of our lives to be finalized.  God doesn’t answer my prayers any faster than your lawyer answers letters.

See you tomorrow 🙂

~P.

Tesla and I are looking forward to Wednesday afternoon and spending time together.  Please allow her and I to spend a few hours together before gymnastics.  It really means a lot to her.

P.S.  I just got off the phone with you.  How dare you tell me to get a job and help support our daughter?  The nerve of you to tell me times are tough when you just took a week’s vacation before Christmas.  You haven’t paid any support since November yet I survived.  Now you don’t have to pay support at all and I will survive.   I can not believe you said “all this time you have to volunteer in Tesla’s class, you could be working.”  It’s crystal clear you are limiting my time with Tesla because you have been “granted” power by Judge Dorney.   You said it yourself on the phone, just now, because you don’t want me part of her routine.

It saddens me that you just don’t get that you are hurting Tesla.  What she says is HER words.  I don’t “tell” her what to say nor do I put ideas in her head.  I give her honest answers to her questions and anything I say, she is free to tell you.    I don’t listen in on your conversations, nor limit how long you talk to Tesla.  You on the other hand, do both.    You have given me permission to take Tesla home after gymnastics.  If that’s all the time you will allow me, I guess there is nothing I can do.  It’s Tesla who will be disappointed she can’t go to dinner with her cousin Blaine because she has to eat dinner at home, on schedule, as a family.  In my humble opinion (which I realize means nothing to you) she should have a night during the week when I can pick her up and we can do things with her cousin, brothers, friends, etc.

Like I said at domestics today, in the long run you’ll see the error in your ways.  You should retake the Kids First Class.  http://girlboxer1970.com/2011/07/11/kids-first/  I really don’t think you learned a damn thing.

Also, since you claim not to read my blog, I will email this to you.  That way you, Heather and LaDonna can all have the opportunity to read it together.

~P.

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce, Family, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Feb 4, 2012

Dale~Top 10

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****Caution John**** You may not want to read how happy I am in this blog.

My Top 10 of Dale Hollinger:

10. He’s on Team Pattie.  Bless his heart and patience, I guess I’m worth waiting for cause he is my #1

9.  What a crazy sense of humor.  Occasionally I have to make you stop making me-laugh cause it hurts.

8.  He is one smart man.  I have no idea what all that computer gibberish is that you talk about everyday, but you’re good at what you do.

7.  Tattoos,  pierced nipples and scars!  Oh my!

6.  Over the past.  It doesn’t matter if it’s your childhood, the accident, ex-wives or ex-girlfriends, Dale is over it.

5.  Dishwasher.  Bless his soul, he does them by hand.

4.  Respectable guy.  Helps people out, treats people well.

3.  Amazing lover.  He brings a whole new level to multiple orgasms.

2.  Resists the drama.  Bullshit is always flying, he respects me by not letting himself be drawn in.

1.  Love.  I love him and he loves me.  He really does love me.

Not that fake-ass love I fell for in the past.

~P.

Filed Under: Dale, Divorce · Tagged: , , , ,
Feb 3, 2012

Volunteering

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This is just a little bit weird to me but…..nothing surprises me.

I just spoke with the principal at Tesla’s school.  Suddenly, there is no restriction to my volunteering.  I may come anyday, whether John volunteers that day or not.  The principal made it sound as though there had been miscommunication between her and Ms. Dettinger.  I don’t think it was a communication problem between the two of them….but Ms. Dettinger seems to have been thrown under the bus.

The principal said, “You both are equally allowed to come to the school.  As adults, there should not be an issue.”

I most certainly agreed with her.  I am relieved and thrilled to feel welcome in Tesla’s classroom again.

One in my favor,

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Feb 1, 2012

Go see the Principal

By · 2 Comments

What’s the worst thing a teacher can say to a student?  Go to Principal “Doe’s” office.  That statement strikes fear in all students.

I remember in Dover Middle School,  getting caught with chewing gum in my mouth by Mr. Gohn, not once but twice.  He told me to put the gum on the end of my nose.  This was 7th grade I believe and there was no way in hell I was putting gum on the end of my nose and setting myself up for ridicule by my classmates.  OH HELL NO!  So I refused and Mr. Gohn said, “You have two options, put the gum on your nose or go to Principal Keller’s office.”  I stood up and said, “I’ll go to the office.”  Mr. Gohn paused and said “really?” and I replied, “yes.”   He raised his hands up and said, “well, ok then, go.”

I went to the office and was given detention that afternoon.  Ironically, the assistant principal was on detention duty that day and told us to leave as soon as he walked in the door.  Score one for team Pattie.

Now today was different.  I was told to go see the principal because….I now have to follow Canadochly Elementry school’s 6 day cycle and can only volunteer on day 6, after noon.  For the past three weeks, I had been volunteering in Tesla’s class one day a week on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday.  Ms. Dettinger and I would get in touch and decide a day that worked with my college classes.  Keep in mind, there are parents that come in everyday.   While the children were at music class, Ms. Dettinger asked me out to the hall.  She explained I can come in on day 6 and John can come on day 3.

I started to cry in the hall.  What kind of bullshit is this?  I can’t volunteer in my daughter’s class now because John called the office and laid down some strict schedule for when I can come in.  I see no reason for this restriction.  John has not volunteered in Tesla’s room so far this year.  If he can only make time on “Day 3 after noon” that is his scheduled time and I would respect that.  It should not cause me to lose time in Tesla’s classroom just because he isn’t going on any other days.
Adding salt to my wound, I learn Tesla has not done her homework for the past two days.  My head felt like it was going to rupture.  Why the hell isn’t Tesla getting her homework done?  John won’t let me see Tesla after school, pick her up from school or let me do homework with her.   Yet he isn’t doing homework with her!  How is this happening?  He states I can’t get Tesla after school because she has a strict schedule (and he isn’t allowing me to be part of it.)  Apparently homework isn’t making the schedule either.

I’ll be seeing the principal very soon and getting to the bottom of this.

With a tablet and pencil in hand,

~P.

Filed Under: College, Divorce, high school days, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , , ,
Jan 28, 2012

Take that Friday!

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It’s something everyone dreams of having but rarely ever achieves.

Every new day is a chance to give it another shot.

You start at perfect because you just woke up.

Within seconds you determine your situation.

Alive and …….

 

  •             kissed by Dale as he left for work.  He’s in just so freaking awesome.  I take my turn in the shower at risk.  Dale takes long showers, the water may be cool to cold.  Errr….

  •             ah….the shower is hot!  I grab a pair of jeans and I like how they fit (Goodwill bargain new size 14 Old Navy jeans $5.99,  a YCP T-shirt (L) $5, matching socks, and Nike sneakers (Goodwill, $4.99) and finally my Harley jacket ($350.00 Laugermans; my former life.)

  •              drove my reliable Honda ($42) safely to campus with no red lights and I wasn’t even trying.  Seriously.

  •             pulling into my favorite area to park a student waved and pointed towards her car.  I smiled, put it in reverse and was ready….cause no one but me was getting this prime parking spot!  I grab my book bag and coffee and make a bee line for the doors.  Out of the corner of my eye (perfect vision $24o0. Lasik) I see Allyson Rump, a friend who is involved with the campus newspaper (The Spartan.  Check it out!) and we gravitate towards each other.  I asked how she was and she said good.  She inquired in return and I gushed how awesome my day had been so far.

  •          woke up on time, coffee is made and delicious, car started, no traffic or light issues and I’m ready for the day.  It’s been great.  Allyson stops and says, “I’m going to make it even better!” 

 

  •           for the first time I notice she has a baking tin in her hands and I stop also, taking a swig of my perfect coffee.  “I have cookies!” and she pulls back the tinfoil covering the sugary delights!  Allyson rocks!

  •          continuing towards the humanities building, I see my friend Justin smoking outside, but not 25 feet from the building and I resist the urge to bum a smoke.  I refuse to waste any money on cigarettes but don’t want to become a cig bummer.

 

  •          someone held the entrance door open for me and  I followed a trail of students up a floor.  Again, the door was held open.  Arrived at Geography class, door propped open and took my chosen seat (first seat in the first row, desk and chair not welded together and closest to the door.  I’m the special person in the class.)

 

  •          Books and pen were in my bag and I placed them on my desk, began eating my cookie and  actually had time to jot down some notes for this blog.  I had no specific reason why I wanted to take notes, but I am glad I did.

  •         class wasn’t bad and my professor’s lectures are at least interesting.  She has travelled extensively and I’m wildly jealous.  Fifty minutes later I was out the door first and on my way to Tesla’s school.

  •          I arrived early and had lunch with Tesla and her classmates.  The pizza was pretty damn good but I passed on the carrots.  So did Tesla.  I finished the little bit of pizza Tesla didn’t want to eat.  We went outside for recess and I was surrounded by fifty little kidlings.  We played tag and ran around the playground trying not to crash into each other.  All the kids wanted to be “it” at some point, the bad part was they all wanted to tag me!  Tesla and Bria each held my hand walking back into the school.   

  •      we worked on journaling in Ms. Dettinger’s class.  I don’t just help Tesla of course, but all the kids.  They are so adorable!  You need the patience of a saint to be a teacher though.  Volunteering works perfect for me.

  •       back on the road, listening to my fuzzy sounding radio but thinking at least I have one.  Immediately the radio shuts off and I was WTF?  Thirty seconds pass and it comes back on.  I sighed and rolled my eyes upward, “Yes God, I am thankful for even little things.”

  •        ran into someone I knew and talked a bit about both our divorces.  According to this person, the word is John isn’t to happy with his latest girlfriend.  I had to giggle as it’s not the first time I heard that.  John will never be happy with any female in his life. 

  •       on a whim I stop at a kids clothing consignment shop and find three gymnastics outfits for Tesla.  One is brand new from Danskin!  ($14 total for all three)

  •        called Tesla and told her about the outfits.  She was very excited and wanted to know when I would come pick her up.  I told her I would talk to her dad about spending some time together.  She wanted me to talk to him immediately, but I’ve found email and texting to work much better.  Tesla and I chatted a little more and then she had to go.  It was just awesome seeing Tesla at school and not having to deal with her father, his gf or any of their drama!

 

  •        talked to Dale and we decided to meet at Chili’s for dinner.  We had won a gift card awhile back and not used it yet.  I took a seat at the bar and waited for Dale to arrive.  The classic margarita was soothing and the surrounding smells made my mouth water.  We moved to a booth and had chicken alfredo and steak for dinner.  I fell in love with Chili’s guacamole sauce.   Yummy!  🙂

 

  •        went home, walked Ying, talked to my mom and later to my sister.  Suz is all moved into her new place and lives right up the road from us.  Awesome!  Tesla and Blaine will see each other so much more!

  •       watched some TV with Dale.  This show about a store called Obscura is really bizarre.  I liked it! 

 

  •     climbed into bed, next to my awesome man and realized “in my world, I had just had a perfect day.”

I’ll take that Friday and many more, just like it!

 

Life is good, enjoy,

~P.

 

 

 

Filed Under: classmates, College, Dale, Divorce, Family, Tesla · Tagged: , , , , ,
Jan 26, 2012

I’ll call the police

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“I will call the police,” I heard, walking towards the gymnastic center’s doors.  I could not believe Heather was threatening to call the cops on me.  Well, actually I can.  She sounded just like John.  His voice was still on my mind.

John and I ran into each other earlier that day, at our family doctor’s office.  John had Heather’s son at the office.  I was just leaving after a follow-up concerning my meds.  My stomach was nauseated almost daily for a month and I couldn’t control when I might throw-up.  It didn’t even have to involve John.  It crossed my mind I might be pregnant, but the test clearly showed only one line.  Anyone need the other pregnancy test?

I asked my future ex-beloved to explain why our doctor had no record of Tesla’s atv accident and he said he had not spoken to John about any possible injuries.  John insisted our doctor would put that in writing for him and I said, I will believe it when I see it.  Which is worse?  Not telling me Tesla had an accident on the atv or telling me he had her checked by a doctor when he hadn’t?

Tesla has gymnastics once a week.  My time with Tesla on a personal level is severely restricted.  When I do get time with Tesla one-on-one, I have to sign an agreement that it’s a one time visit.  John is adamant that this is how the judicial system wants our custody agreement handled.  I think he is just a control freak.  Now this week at gymnastics, Heather had Tesla and her girls at the gym but John wasn’t present.  He texted me “sick” after I asked twice why he wasn’t there.  Now I had just seen him earlier in the day at our doctor’s office.  Less than four hours later he is too sick to take Tesla to gymnastics?  Why wasn’t I contacted so I had the opportunity to spend more time with Tesla while her dad was “sick?”

Gymnastics is over….the waiting room is jammed to the hilt with squealing children in spandex and parents trying to get them in or out.  Tesla’s coat was on and I took her hand to walk towards the door.  I had already asked John twice if I could take Tesla home because, I knew she would ask me.  No go…he was fixated on Heather taking Tesla home.  When changing clothes, Tesla asked me in the bathroom if she could go home with me.  I told her I couldn’t take her home with me.  Next, of course, she asked me to take her to her dad’s.  I told her I couldn’t, she would have to ride with Heather.  Tesla was not happy, but I told her I would see her again, as soon as possible.

“Pattie!  Pattie!  Stop, Tesla is going home with me! I’ll call the police!”

Now I am no fool and I have no interest in having the cops come to my daughter’s gymnastics studio.  Heather must have had it in her head (or it was put in her head) that I would sail out of there with Tesla in tow and she would be left behind with only her daughters.  How the hell would she explain that to “The Man?”  What made me giggle inside, though I was nearly at my boiling point on the outside, was “what the hell would she say to the cops after I left to take Tesla home?”

9-1-1 Operator:  911, what is your emergency?

Heather:  I need the police to chase down Patricia Crider.  She left with her daughter, Tesla and is driving her home.

9-1-1 Operator:  Your name is?

Heather:  Heather King.

9-1-1 Operator:  Your relationship to Patricia?

Heather:  She is my boyfriend’s wife and he told me not to let Patricia drive her daughter home because…..we just don’t want her to…..

Obviously, Heather did not call the police, even after I told her to “go right ahead.”  Just more ridiculous threats in front of all four children.  Heather insisted I started the drama because I yelled at her.  Seriously, I barely speak to Heather and she was the one “chasing me down.”

Heather has no business telling me what I can or can’t do with my child.  I don’t want to hear her telling me to “take it back to court if I don’t like the decision.”  What I don’t like is her big mouth filling my ears with what she thinks.  I don’t care what she thinks.  She is just a tool and hasn’t realized it yet.

I wonder what people at church think about Heather and John’s newly formed family.  Does the pastor dance around the fact that they are both married to other people?  I am embarrassed that I can’t get John to go forward with the divorce proceedings.  I don’t want my child growing up thinking it’s ok to be married to one person but screwing someone else.  Neither of them seem to mind that they are setting a terrible example for their offspring.

No shortage of writing material here.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Jan 9, 2012

Who the **** did I marry?

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I watch that show “Who the bleep did I marry?” and cross my fingers there is never an episode written about me.

Last night I tried to be a supportive co-parent and invited John into my home to talk.  I just wanted to know what happened when Tesla wrecked the 4-wheeler.  Immediately John confirmed my suspicions by admitting Tesla fell off the atv.  He says Tesla didn’t run into him with the atv but just hit bumps in the yard and fell off.  The atv continued across the yard without Tess.

Now I don’t know what day this happened but on Friday the sudden doctor appointment for a cold appears to be a bunch of bullshit.  According to John, the doctor  checked her out for injuries and found nothing.  Interestingly enough, there is no documentation on the doctors report even mentioning an atv accident or possible injuries.  Nor did John get in writing that the doctor now doesn’t feel Tesla could benefit from art therapy.

I told him I didn’t think Tesla was big enough to ride the atv on her own and her falling off and hurting herself was enough to confirm it for me.

He said, “well when she’s with you, she doesn’t have to ride.”  (That makes perfect sense since I don’t have three atvs at home.)

I realized this part of the conversation was going nowhere and told him just to leave.  I wanted to hug and kiss Tesla without the goon behind me.

rainbow mohawk ballet dancer

Tesla had on her dance tutu on she picked out at the Harrisburg Farm Show.  I asked her if she was going to wear it to dance class tomorrow and she said “yes!”

As John walked out he said, “no dance tomorrow” and I paused closing the door.

“No dance tomorrow either?  What about gymnastics on Wednesday?  Is she even taking lessons anymore?!”  My frustration at his constant changing of Tesla’s schedule was growing by leaps and bounds.

“Actually no.  She is starting soccer in February.”

You know how the needle scratching across a record sounds?  That is how it felt hearing this.  From what I could understand last night, dance and gymnastics have been scrapped and now soccer is the latest interest.  I have never, not even a tiny mention, heard from Tesla that she wants to play soccer.  She loves dance and gymnastics so why the hell is soccer becoming their replacement?  So her favorite activities have now ceased.  I imagine it gets expensive having 5 kids in dance and/or gymnastics.  I would like to see Tesla stay in at least one of her favorite activities but now that John has a huge family, I guess that’s not possible.  Even if I wanted to pay for and take Tesla to dance or gymnastics, he would never agree to it.  That would be “losing control” of Tesla’s schedule to me and that is completely unacceptable in his world.

So much was hitting me at that second I couldn’t think straight.  What it boiled down to was there was no activity I could attend during the week to see Tesla and when I asked him when I could see her, he said “in two weeks” meaning my weekend to have her.  He actually smiled at me when he said that.  I said, “you are on a power trip with this custody order.  Why would you keep Tesla from seeing me?”

His response: “I’m not keeping her from seeing you.  I’m just following the court order. Call the judge, maybe she will let you see Tess on Wednesday.”

Tesla and I hugged and kissed goodbye.  We were both shook up by her father’s words.  Tesla had just learned that dance and gymnastics were over for her and we wouldn’t be seeing each other for 2 weeks.

Everyone is just a pawn in John’s game of life.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Jan 7, 2012

Dear John~Irritated

By · 4 Comments

Dear John,

Again, nothing you do surprises me.  I just roll my eyes and continue on with life.

You see, before dinner, Tesla pulled out all the “cool stuff” from her book bag.  Arts and crafts and several books.  After dinner she pulled out her school papers and was satisfied she was done sharing what she felt was important.

I went through what was left and what do I find? “Telsa’s” parent contacts listing.  My name was nowhere to be found, but Heather and her husband are both listed for their children.  I also noticed your new email address.  Yet when I asked for a personal email you didn’t have one.  Just send it to work and when LaDonna checks my email she will let me know.  Why would you want LaDonna reading all our emails?

Now Tesla keeps telling me her neck hurts and she has a large black and blue mark on her arm.  Oh, and that she ran into you riding the little 4-wheeler then fell off.  All I asked her was what was making her neck hurt.  I don’t think she was making it up as she was very specific about where it happened in the yard and how she hit you.

Thanks for ignoring my texts messages.

That didn’t surprise me either,

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla ·
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