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May 19, 2012

Dear John~sad sad sad

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Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

I went all the way to Windsor for Tesla’s May Fair this morning.  You knew you had to work, but still wouldn’t let me pick up Tesla insisting Heather was keeping her.

Why did you say to me, “It’s open to the public.  You can go.”?   I only wanted to go with Tesla….

So I go, only to be told Heather isn’t taking Tesla.  I didn’t want to attend the May Fair without my child.

After 3 hours, I left.  Heather wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and you were busy working so that meant zero help as usual.  This could have ALL been arranged days ago when I asked to take her to the May Fair.  Your flexible schedule you brought up so many times in court hasn’t really panned out John.

There was NO reason I couldn’t pick Tesla up at 11AM for the May Fair, other than you and Heather didn’t want me to.  Instead, Tesla had to attend all the practices of the children you and Heather keep telling her are sisters and a brother.

SAD SAD SAD SAD

~P.

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May 4, 2012

Dear John~confusing who?

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Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

Tesla and I were happy she spent the night last night.  That was so much better than just getting two hours together.  She naturally complained for a little, but I finally got across to her that we will just have to enjoy the time we get.  One overnight wasn’t enough, she wanted more.  It’s  hard to explain to Tesla why she has to live with mostly you (and the gang) when she wants to live with me.  Telling her a judge decided means nada to Tesla.  I might as well tell her the Wizard of Oz decided.

Enjoy your time with Tesla and stop being so damn rigid with your ridiculous, unrealistic rules and schedule.  Your world revolves around yourself.  It’s so obvious, yet you don’t see it.  I know you better than you know yourself.  I even understand why you are the way you are.  I get why you filed for divorce….and don’t start with the cheap bags of pot you bought for me or the diet pills I was taking back in 2008.  Neither are your reason for filing for divorce.  You know it.  I know it and a select number of people know it.  Obviously Heather doesn’t know or doesn’t get it yet.  It all depends on how honest you were with her about the dissolving of our relationship.

So back to this morning and Tesla, what was the big deal about Tesla and I doing her homework before school?  It wasn’t like she asked if I could come inside my home and help do it.  She was fine with bringing it out to the car and writing on a book or the hood of my car.  You and I both know it is very simple homework.  Well, I assume you know but Tesla does say it’s mostly Heather who does homework with her.  We could have done the homework and I would have been on my way.  Tesla would have her homework done with plenty of time before the bus came to spend with you if you so wished.  I saw Heather’s vehicle in the drive so I suppose she could have even had time with Tesla.

Sadly, Tesla had to come outside in tears because you wouldn’t let her do her homework away from the island in the kitchen.  I was confused.  Why can’t she do her homework with me?  What is the big fucking deal this time?  You take such pleasure in telling me what I can and can’t do with my child just because a judge decided that Tesla should continue living in our house.  You thrive on it I swear.  Thank God the stupid signing for Tesla bullshit has ceased.  I never did hear from my lawyer that your lawyer, or even Heather’s lawyer, sent him a damn thing.

That’s ok, eventually you’ll hear from my lawyer.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Apr 26, 2012

Hater

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Things I’ve learned.

1. Heather thinks I’m ugly.  At least that’s what she said.  If she was smart she would have told her friends I was beautiful but John only wanted her.

2.  John likes very personal gifts from Heather’s friends.  And his birthday is almost here again!

3.  John and Heather were announcing they plan on getting married this year.  Wait…where’s my damn divorce first?

4.  John is paying for Heather reverse her tubes so they can have a son.  Hello…fairy tale!

5.  No one has been paying the mortgage.  Shocking.

I can’t even make this stuff up.

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: ,
Apr 25, 2012

Dear Heather ~4:45 PM

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Dear Heather,

   Where the hell were you at 4:45?  You had to have left my house with my daughter intentionally.  That or you just didn’t know because John is so busy working he can’t even take time to know where you are going with our child, nor when you will be bringing her back.

    How is it that you have my child while my husband is out of town working.  Not only does Tesla miss spending time with me, she misses soccer or any damn other thing Tesla and I wanted to do.  We would not have chosen to run around where ever you have to go with your children.

     Not answering the phone when I call or text is just ignorant.  John doesn’t know what’s going on. He didn’t know you were leaving with Tesla.  And, it doesn’t surprise him that you don’t answer his call either. 

WTH?  How do I know you didn’t kidnap my child?  I could call the cops and be justified, but I won’t do that to my daughter.  It worries me that you are caring for my child.  This is not right. 

Where is Tesla?

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged:
Apr 25, 2012

I didn’t check the mail recently

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Catching up with the wagon

Here’s why….

I can't imagine the letters at the Post Office are good news.

Dear Wells Fargo…guess  you’re upset about the mortgage and want to take the house.  I don’t blame ya’ll.  I rode on out of there years ago…

with no looking back.

Will Heather use her school loans to pay the mortgage again?  Will John sell more of our martial goods?  What has he sold?  (other than pretty  much everything Heather had)

I saw Heather’s house is up for rent!  Maybe they will move there…

Stay tuned,

~P.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John · Tagged: , ,
Apr 25, 2012

more than lenient

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How I still feel

According to the wise one who dictates when I may see Tesla, I was informed he is  “more than lenient” with Tesla’s visits.  Does he mean lenient to me….or to Tess?  Either way, I don’t see much leniency for either.  I think John is permanently stuck in the “Prison Guard Mentality” for life.

Definition of LENIENT Adj.

1: exerting a soothing or easing influence : relieving pain or stress
2: of mild and tolerant disposition; especially: indulgent
— le·nient·lyadverb

lenient [ˈliːnɪənt]

adj

1. showing or characterized by mercy or tolerance

Examples of LENIENT

  1. a teacher who is lenient with students who have misbehaved
  2. Many people felt that the punishment was too lenient.
  3. By giving one more person—the executive—the power to reduce (but not to increase) punishments, our constitutions (both Federal and state) seem to be sending an important message: that in a world in which errors are inevitable, it is better to err on the side of overly lenient, rather than overly harsh, punishment. —Alan M. Dershowitz, New York Times Book Review, 16 July 1989

Does John understand the meaning of lenient?

I usually get notice at the last moment on when I can see Tesla.  Then there are days when I think I will see her and he changes her schedule to suit his.  I believe a set day that Tesla and I know John will be “lenient” with on a weekly basis would be great!

The whining about my Facebook status and blog content can stop, oh wise one.  Even better, just co-operate in sharing Tesla more equally and I won’t have a reason to bitch.  Does he even get sharing?

He does understand Bitterman though.

~P.

 

Filed Under: Dreams, John, Just Life, Tesla · Tagged: , , , ,
Apr 17, 2012

This is what I mean!

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I didn’t see Tesla at school today.  I wrote that earlier.

I guess no one read that blog yet.

Called twice to talk to Tesla before soccer.  Voicemail.

7:30 Tesla returned my call but I was outside.

I return her call and tried to talk with her.  It’s so noisy with Heather and children in the background I could barely make out what she is saying.

She asked if I can get her tomorrow.  I told her I would talk to her dad.  She said that her dad wasn’t home.  He was, because she had his phone.

I’m guessing Heather fetched him because he did eventually answer.

I asked him when his game is tomorrow.  He didn’t know.

Can I see Tesla tomorrow?  He didn’t know what his schedule is.

I asked him why it mattered what his schedule was when I only want to see Tesla.  He responded with, “Didn’t you see her at school today.”   I replied, “Wrong” making a buzzer sound and followed it with, “next?”

John thinks he knows everything.  Even if I did see Tesla today, volunteering in her class, why stop me from spending individual time her the next day?

His follow-up to the school comment….”well you saw her over the weekend.”  He says this in front of Tesla.

How is this not purposely keeping Tesla from spending time with me?

As John and Heather like to tell me, “take it to the courthouse.”

Like I don’t spend enough time in the courthouse with John and Heather.  I even have promises from Heather for a future court hearing.

How about just loosening the grip you two have on Tesla?

Your daily drama does affect Tesla….and probably all the other children in the house.

Dr. Phil….help!

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: , ,
Apr 10, 2012

This is the shit that pisses me off

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You know how they say family will always be there for you?

Well it’s a crock of shit depending on what family members you are talking about.  I know outside family sees Walt differently than us insiders.  Get over it.  Auntie Jane doesn’t read my blog anymore.  Truth hurts and that was just about her brother.  Maybe she’s afraid I will write about her…

Not only is my father forcing my mother to move to Shippensburg, he is pushing at least 3 of his 4 children so far away from him that he might as well move to China.  We don’t want to speak to Walt and he knows it.  He doesn’t think he is “Sam’s best friend” anymore.

Us three, who have been very active in our mothers life, (and I can speak for us 3 we are in agreement) we don’t want her to move at all.

Now I learn from Mom, that Walt is using Delauter’s A1 Moving Helpers to move them to Shippensburg, PA.  That is near the moon in my eyes…Sam’s and Susan’s eyes also.

We want mom to stay here.  Until the house sells, I’m not sure why Walt is taking everything and moving.

Dear ole Walt uses the moving company that his daughter is half owner of knowing the disaster divorce she is involved in with the other owner…you know…even if it’s for free it pisses me off.  Because everything that needs to be taken care of, before anyone will buy the house, has been paid for with Sam’s money.  I’m not saying Sam is great with handling his money.  Sam needs to tear up this power of attorney Dad has for him.  Sam asked me in the past to be his POA and I said yes.  Suddenly Walt took Sam and became the POA.

Sam needs a POA that is in his best interest.  Not Walt.

It’s a huge disaster in Crider land and we each have our own little mess.  Suz needs to get a job asap, but has been with mom everyday while she recovers from bowel surgery.  I would be very sore if someone cut part of my bowels away.

This was a minor surgery in my Mom’s world.  I love my mom like you wouldn’t believe….she was a great mom while I was growing up.  I have amazing memories with my mom, my friends from school, the neighbors….Dolores Theresa Crider also known as Lorrie, was the bomb as a mom.  Funny, pretty, cooked everyday, loved my friends, was easy to get along with and had a wonderful laugh.  She is still that woman, but very worn down over the years.  Not only her body, but her sense of self.  Walt will do that to a person.  She should have left years ago….but she didn’t and now she feels she can’t.  It doesn’t have anything to do with love.  She said he came back from Vietnam a different man.  End of story.  She filled her life with her children….Walt was there while we grew up.  Mom wanted us around….Walt, not so much.

Anyway..

It seems as though Walt and John have to be buddies.  They are both so self-centered it’s no wonder they still chat.  John doesn’t do things for free.  Hell I had to pay the company to move Tesla and me!  John wanted me to pay cash….there’s a post about it somewhere.  I wound up writing a check to the company and not the employee who worked for me with the move.

Ok, I’m calmer now.  Edit, post…call Mom back.

The two main men I am tied to are royal pain in the ass.

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, Family, John · Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Apr 10, 2012

Dear Heather~I’m lovin’ it.

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Dear Heather,

Trying to talk to you is a joke because you don’t make any sense.  Sorry to tell you, John still loves me.  I know you would like to think otherwise.  I thinks it’s a touch sweet that he still cares so deeply.  Don’t beat yourself up over Heather.  I might have been wife #2 but you are girlfriend…..hmmm #12 or so.  Maybe someday you can believe he loves you.  You claim I’m all about money…I’m all about ending this divorce with fairness.  I didn’t come into this marriage with John empty-handed.  So shut your mouth girlfriend….you only know what he tells you.  You really think he’s going to tell you anything that doesn’t make him sound good?!  Like he’s not going to tell you that he thought I looked cute on Easter.  That would crush you….

I don’t want to talk to you about Tesla’s clothes.  Her father should be supplying her clothes.  You don’t need to buy Tesla clothes.  If you want to pay for something, pay me some rent for living in my house.

I don’t know why you showed up for the last 5 minutes of soccer.  It was over…and when Tesla is upset and telling her father she wants to go with mother, don’t interupt Tesla to say, “You’re going home with us.  We are going to play games and have fun!”  You sound pathetic trying to cheer up a little girl who just wants more time with her mom.

As I have learned from many people, you can’t mind your own business.  Eventually I won’t have to deal with you.  Either when Tesla lives with me or John breaks up with you.  (or you find a reason to break up with him.  I don’t see that happening as you need my house to live in….)

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Apr 9, 2012

Easter Sunday~It wasn’t Jesus’ drama.

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I signed the stupid paper stating John was allowing me to have Tesla from 4 PM on Easter Sunday until soccer tonight.  What I don’t understand is why Tesla couldn’t wear her Easter dress for pictures with Dale and I and then change clothes afterwards.  Nope, Heather said to “go buy your own dress for Tesla!”

The dress was a hand-me-down from one of Heather’s kids.  You know, the kids that are not to talk to me but still do and I have no control over it.

So, instead of just sharing the dress on Tesla’s behalf with everyone on Easter, Heather dressed Tesla in this.  Rabbit tail and all.

John said I have to talk to Heather about clothes.  No matter who I must talk to, why would you put that on Tesla and rubber band them to stay up?  TT wears a size 8….not 16-18.   I was so pissed…. Heather doesn’t want to write me a letter (unless maybe her lawyers do it for her) and doesn’t want a taped meeting.  Here is her message to me on John’s cell.  “when u would like to have a 2 way conversation.  u may call me on the home phone.  heather.”  What home phone Heather?  When I lived there it was 717-244-4949.  Do you consider the office number your home number now?  I don’t want to talk to you Heather, I want John to handle the things that have to do with Tesla.

Somedays…

~P.

 

Filed Under: Divorce, Heather, John, Tesla · Tagged: , , ,
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