Jun 28, 2012
Doing Nothing
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This morning I had a meeting with an enforcement officer at domestics. At 8 AM…that sucked.
I had already turned in my job search paper so it didn’t take long. I told the officer I had sent John a text asking how much a month or week he wanted for “child support” and the response I received was:
“It has nothing to do with what I think you owe. It’s about doing your fair share. Doing nothing at all certainly does not mean your share.”
The officer said, “Oh, I remember you now. You had a case against John originally.”
I told him he was right and he said, “we get a lot of spite cases.”
At least domestics is onto his bullshit.
~P.
Jun 6, 2012
One graduates high school, the other kindergarten
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It’s officially June 6th…a new day, even if I haven’t shuffled my ass up to bed. This felt like a runaway day. Woke up, made coffee, walked Ying, talked to the maintenance guy about my smoke detector, got a shower, went to Tesla’s classroom play. The kids also read aloud the books they wrote and illustrated. Tesla wrote about horses and when her dad rode one. It was very cute. She did a great job both in the play as a bear and reading her horse story. Ms. Dettinger had a brief conversation with me privately and I left giving Tesla a hug and kiss and told her I would see her later for her brother’s graduation. A little while later Ms. Dettinger sent me a text message that the costume parts were hers, not Tesla’s. Instead of turning around, I stopped at John’s to drop it off. No one was home so I let it hanging on the door knob.
Horses by Tesla Delauter
About fifteen minutes prior to Dale and I leaving for Zman to get that diploma, John calls me. He’s pressing trespassing charges against me for going into our house. He said he has an “eye-witness” that saw me enter the house. I told him I’ll take a lie detector test and his “eye witness” can take one and we will see who is lying. He told me to explain that to the police. Whatever.
We took Zeth out for dinner, he was hungry for a medium rare steak….I couldn’t get Tesla until 5:30 but then the place got busy and we needed to get going. John texted asking me if I was going to feed Tesla. Keep in mind, I asked several times to get her after school. I had been told originally I couldn’t even take Tesla to her brother’s graduation. I wrote back she could eat my chicken fingers and we arrived for Tesla at 5:45.
I signed the paper stating I was allowed to have Tesla from 5:30 until 8:30. The line to the school entrance was so backed-up, Zeth jumped out and walked….he beat us there. Graduation was packed to the gills. We parked in the grass in the furthest parking lot at the middle school and walked to the high school. My dad rolled my mom over with us (she is in a wheelchair) and we settled into the track area at 6:55.
Soon the graduates walked by and I snapped a picture of Zeth. The ceremony was hard to hear, but the music sounded great. We saw Zeth get his empty diploma holder and I video-taped all the student tossing their caps. At 8:50 I texted John we would be leaving soon and it is unbelievably crowed.
Tesla was very proud of her big brother
It was a very long ceremony, from 7pm until 9:15, then we had to wait for Zeth to find his dad and step-mom and make his way back to us. He had a gift for my mom he made in wood shop. It was a beautiful clock, hand-made and painted by him. We walked back to the car ….that took 20 minutes and finally we hit the road to take Tesla back to John.
Dropped of Tesla with no problems and headed back home. We passed John on the way home. I’m guessing he was in his elf outfit for softball. I really didn’t give it much thought other than “he wasn’t going to let me have Tesla for Zeth’s graduation but he’s out playing softball.” Dale and I hadn’t even been on the road fifteen minutes when John sent me a text, “I’ll be notifying my attorney that you broke the custody agreement.”
I responded with “bitter man” because that’s what this is about. His personal vendetta: charging me with trespassing for dropping off our daughter’s costume from her play and contempt for running later than 8:30 for Zeth’s graduaton.
Cops on speed dial 1, his lawyer on 2.
~P.
Jun 2, 2012
Woot Woot! Reality Checks for All
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It gets old being the “strong” person. My family, friends and lawyer all tell me to “hang in there.” I am tired of hanging around, hoping things improve. Something needs to be done. Of course, that takes money.
I get blog comments from people who I may or may not know. For example, here is one from someone who refers to themselves as Reality Check.
Would you stop already with the “my house” crap, you seem to forget that he had that house way before you came along. And because of you, another woman was forced out of it and her marriage. You are a bit high and mighty for my taste considering what you have done in your past. I sure consider you to be a homewrecker so for you to call someone else one is ironic indeed!!!!
Reality Check is so bold with their accusations and label-making. Like it’s the first time I’ve been called a name. Shit, John called me “a bigger piece of shit than his own mother” and “fucking bitch” and “lazy bitch” and “shitty mother” so many times I couldn’t stop the dark, life-draining affect it was having on my psyche. I was already depressed after the horrible mistakes hospital had made that almost caused my death. I was struggling with recovering from giving birth, near death and stuck in the hospital while my newborn was home with a man who never had an infant in his care.
Things didn’t get better to be honest with you. I became pregnant with our second child and lost it just after the first trimester. The feeling of failure was over-whelming and John’s blaming it on me didn’t help. His wanting to leave me the same day I miscarried gave that disease depression a firm grip on me that I am still working to shake. Here is my response to Reality Check:
You can tell me to stop with the my house crap…but it is my house also. And, Reality Check, I did not wreck anyone’s home…..neither of them were happily married. You don’t know anything about what happened back then. If you did you would shut the fuck up because you would realize just how wrongly informed you are. If I wrecked a home, it certainly wasn’t a very happy home because I later found out they both were cheating on each other so regularly that it wasn’t even a secret anymore. Hard for me to feel bad about that.
As far as the house goes, I sold MY house and took out a mortgage with John, using the profits of the sale of my house to pay off Diane so she would sign the divorce papers. At the last moment, she wanted $10K more to sign.
I can be high and mighty ALL I want because I don’t care what the hell you think. I’m not saying Heather is a homewrecker, I’m just saying it would be nice if she would currently butt out so after all this time I can get the divorce he filed for YEARS ago. So, Reality Check, the house is mine and John’s. Since I don’t know who you are, I’m guessing you are someone he used to or still is sleeping with. Hey, thanks for the comment!!! ~P.
See, people’s comments that stick up for John in any way are fine by me. It just shows me how little they know about him. If you want me to give any credence to a comment supporting John, have the balls to give your name. I have nothing bad to say about John’s first wife, nor her husband Craig. They are good people. Do I believe she got screwed over by John? Hell yeah! I am not proud of the way he removed Di from his life and inserted me. We were both being used but we didn’t realize it back then. I’m sure she isn’t thrilled about making it into my writing, but if I wrote anything that was a flat-out lie or vicious, either she or someone in her family would contact me with the truth or a comment because…..they read my blog.
I know how the house came about. It is true. I had nothing to do with the house back then. But my world was completely changed around for the man I fell in love with. You cannot understand nor underestimate the effect John can have on people. Not just women he is attracted to but people in general. He will just barge into your life like a bull in a china shop and change everything to how he thinks it should be. Especially if he feels superior to that person. (which is everyone.)
So Reality Check is most likely a person who kind of knows John and feels bad he is going to have to sell his house. Then again, it could be a perfect stranger who reads enough to just have an opinion. Either way, opinions are like assholes. .
Everyone has one.
~P.
Jun 1, 2012
Dear Heather~Stupid Faces
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Dear Heather,
Yesterday, after I dropped Tesla back off at 7:04, I had to restrain myself from laughing my ass off at you, as you made stupid faces at me. WTH? I was trying to get you to pull out onto the road because you were blocking my sight of view. Imagine my joy when instead, you start making stupid faces. Holy cow that was awesome! Some might even say an amusing improvement.
Was this some twisted elementary school game of “You go first! No YOU go first!” I didn’t care who went first, but it would have made the most sense if you had waited until I pulled out of the driveway and left. This way you could have avoided driving through the yard and spinning in the grass. Did you get yelled at or didn’t John even notice the bare patches of dirt?
John was pretty pumped up for his game, wearing his green uniform; he looked like an elf. It’s the ears. Did you ever notice how his ears are pointy? Tesla’s are like that too, well, one of them anyway.
So you were in such a rush to get out of there (I got a warning phone call from John so you must of been pitching a fit when I was 3 minutes late) but then you stop at the top of the yard and insist I pull out. I swear you stopped because you knew you were tearing up my yard trying to drive a mini-van full of kids to the road. What was the big hurry, other than leaving with my child as quickly as possible but making sure I knew YOU were in charge of Tesla and not me? Later, when John told me you went to the park, I was annoyed. Why don’t you go to John’s games? Take the whole crew to the games…there is a park there! It’s so crystal clear that you two are determined to limit my time with Tesla. I can not wait for her school to let out. And the stupid faces as I pulled out… just made me realize just how immature you are. All this bullshit over Tesla’s clothes, sneakers, etc. is just your immaturity showing in a situation you shouldn’t even be in.
Keep up the faces….I enjoy them even more than your angry, indignant look.
Oh….if your mommy never told you…One of these times your face will stay like that.
~P.
May 31, 2012
Just ride your motorcycle then!
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I know it’s the same shit, just a different day. This could be looked at as endless writing material but let’s face it, Tesla will always be in my life, and assuming she chooses to remain in her fathers, he will be a part of our lives. Oh the joys of our lives…
Monday 5/28 after he picked up Tesla, I text John “Tesla has a little blister on her finger from being on the tire swing over at my friends house and also a little rash from jumping on the rope. I think both should be fine. Her allergy appointment has been canceled. Is Ladonna still working? If I send you email I want to make sure you get it.”
No response. (See why I have little faith in him reading an email?)
Tuesday 5/29 at 8:30 PM I texted “Tess calling?”
No response
5/30 1 PM I texted can I get TT. He texts he will let me know. He never does.
Duplicate 6:15 PM & 7:15 PM “Tomorrow after school?”
8 PM “Hey…can I get tt tomorrow? She calling me?”
She will be calling. And tomorrow? Not sure yet. Of course you’re not.
Tesla called and we had 3 minutes and 13 seconds to talk with at least John and Bria right there beside her. I don’t consider anything until 5 minutes a conversation.
Today 10:30 AM “Can I get Tesla this afternoon please?”
No response so I call him at 11 AM and he answers.
“Can I please get Tesla this afternoon?”
“I don’t think she has anything going on. Her and the girls were talking about playing after school.”
(I’m sure they talk about playing after school every day.)
“Ok, if she doesn’t have anything going on I’ll take my car to my doctor appointment.”
“I’ll ask her if she wants to go with you or play with the girls as soon as she gets off the bus.”
“Why are you going to ask her that? I am certain she will want to see me.”
“I’m letting it up to her and I’ll ask her as soon as she gets off the bus.”
Funny, suddenly it’s all up to Tesla. It didn’t matter where Tesla wanted to go to live did it? Otherwise, she would be living with me, right?
“Just ride your motorcycle then, smartass!”
No, I’ll take my car. She will want to see me. Have a good day.
It wasn’t an “all-screaming at each” other phone call. No one even “hung-up’ on the other.
I just spoke the truth, which of course poked a sore spot on John with a stick. If it were not true, why would he be so pissy? Threatening to not allow me to see her at all, so to speak. Tesla and I are puppets, hell while I’m at it, Heather and crew are puppets too. It would make for a heck of a reality show, just not one I want to be starring in. Sigh….
Taking my car,
~P.
May 29, 2012
Whos Shoes
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When I picked up Tesla Friday at 5 pm, I had to beg John to talk sense into Heather who was refusing to let Tesla wear her sneakers for the weekend.
Why do I have to beg for Tesla to be allowed to wear her sneakers? Why does Heather have to stand outside my house yelling at me to buy Tesla sneakers if I want her to wear sneakers?
Hey Heather, buy your own fucking house if you want one and get the hell out of mine!
Aren’t Tesla’s shoes, her shoes….or does Heather wear them on the weekends Tesla is with me?
John finally told Heather to let Tesla have her sneakers. Since when is he the sensible one?
Heather is just John’s bitch…in so many ways. It’s not like I have to actually write it for people to know this. By her own actions she shows me, her own children and Tesla what a big, dramatic, bitch she is with all her assholery.
I asked many questions in this blog. I don’t expect answers.
One, Two….buckle Tesla’s shoe.
~P.
May 19, 2012
Dear John~sad sad sad
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Letters he nevers learn from
Dear John,
I went all the way to Windsor for Tesla’s May Fair this morning. You knew you had to work, but still wouldn’t let me pick up Tesla insisting Heather was keeping her.
Why did you say to me, “It’s open to the public. You can go.”? I only wanted to go with Tesla….
So I go, only to be told Heather isn’t taking Tesla. I didn’t want to attend the May Fair without my child.
After 3 hours, I left. Heather wouldn’t answer my calls or texts and you were busy working so that meant zero help as usual. This could have ALL been arranged days ago when I asked to take her to the May Fair. Your flexible schedule you brought up so many times in court hasn’t really panned out John.
There was NO reason I couldn’t pick Tesla up at 11AM for the May Fair, other than you and Heather didn’t want me to. Instead, Tesla had to attend all the practices of the children you and Heather keep telling her are sisters and a brother.
SAD SAD SAD SAD
~P.
May 4, 2012
Dear John~confusing who?
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Letters he nevers learn from
Dear John,
Tesla and I were happy she spent the night last night. That was so much better than just getting two hours together. She naturally complained for a little, but I finally got across to her that we will just have to enjoy the time we get. One overnight wasn’t enough, she wanted more. It’s hard to explain to Tesla why she has to live with mostly you (and the gang) when she wants to live with me. Telling her a judge decided means nada to Tesla. I might as well tell her the Wizard of Oz decided.
Enjoy your time with Tesla and stop being so damn rigid with your ridiculous, unrealistic rules and schedule. Your world revolves around yourself. It’s so obvious, yet you don’t see it. I know you better than you know yourself. I even understand why you are the way you are. I get why you filed for divorce….and don’t start with the cheap bags of pot you bought for me or the diet pills I was taking back in 2008. Neither are your reason for filing for divorce. You know it. I know it and a select number of people know it. Obviously Heather doesn’t know or doesn’t get it yet. It all depends on how honest you were with her about the dissolving of our relationship.
So back to this morning and Tesla, what was the big deal about Tesla and I doing her homework before school? It wasn’t like she asked if I could come inside my home and help do it. She was fine with bringing it out to the car and writing on a book or the hood of my car. You and I both know it is very simple homework. Well, I assume you know but Tesla does say it’s mostly Heather who does homework with her. We could have done the homework and I would have been on my way. Tesla would have her homework done with plenty of time before the bus came to spend with you if you so wished. I saw Heather’s vehicle in the drive so I suppose she could have even had time with Tesla.
Sadly, Tesla had to come outside in tears because you wouldn’t let her do her homework away from the island in the kitchen. I was confused. Why can’t she do her homework with me? What is the big fucking deal this time? You take such pleasure in telling me what I can and can’t do with my child just because a judge decided that Tesla should continue living in our house. You thrive on it I swear. Thank God the stupid signing for Tesla bullshit has ceased. I never did hear from my lawyer that your lawyer, or even Heather’s lawyer, sent him a damn thing.
That’s ok, eventually you’ll hear from my lawyer.
~P.
Apr 26, 2012
Hater
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Things I’ve learned.
1. Heather thinks I’m ugly. At least that’s what she said. If she was smart she would have told her friends I was beautiful but John only wanted her.
2. John likes very personal gifts from Heather’s friends. And his birthday is almost here again!
3. John and Heather were announcing they plan on getting married this year. Wait…where’s my damn divorce first?
4. John is paying for Heather reverse her tubes so they can have a son. Hello…fairy tale!
5. No one has been paying the mortgage. Shocking.
I can’t even make this stuff up.
~P.
girlboxer1970 