Dear John~ Live within your means

Dear John,

The title of this blog may need explanation.  You see, when the mortgages are up to $6,000 behind, it boggles my mind that you continue to spend money like it grew on trees.

Reality is you and Tess can’t afford to live in our house with Heather and her children.  If you could afford it I wouldn’t get notices informing me how far behind the mortgages are.  You may want to forget about me, but all those debt collectors surely don’t.

Now with all this money being owed to so many companies, banks, people, etc. I would have thought you would cut back on all the extra-curricular activities and explain to Heather (and kidlings) that there is no money for it.  You might have to find inexpensive ways to entertain your clan.  Gymnastics, dance, soccer, horse-back riding lessons, swimming lessons….all you or Heather’s ideas, are costly.  Are you afraid they won’t love you if you don’t buy or pay for material goods and fun lessons?

I haven’t had money to throw around in years and to be honest with you, neither have you!  You are the only person who doesn’t seem to understand that.  Even LaDonna advised you to stop spending money…not that you would listen LaDonna or anyone else for that matter.  You don’t even listen to your daughter when she asks you repeatedly if she can see her Mommy.

Last night and this morning I tried to talk to you about me just seeing Tesla for a couple hours tonight.  You said she was too busy doing homework and then you are all going for new soccer cleats.  Practices start on Wednesday. will the kids on the team call you Coach John?

I don’t consider watching Tesla practice anything as quality time for her and I.  I would say as her coach, John, this is quality time for you two.  What I don’t get (other than you are selfish) is why I can’t get Tesla on Tuesdays and Thursdays when you play softball.  She should be able to chose if she wants to spend time with her Mom while her Dad plays softball (and I know some games a~re late.  Remember I always went to your ball games?)

Get over yourself, you pee pee head,

~P.

Update:  John made a payment on the secound mortgage earlier in December.  John and Heather went on vacation right before Christmas.    That was the last payment until March and it’s still way behind.  Sigh.

 

Dear Heather~ You’re uncomfortable

Dear Heather,

Yes, I saw you at the school today.  I’m sure you saw your child talking to me.  When your children speak to me, I talk to them.  Isn’t that how “being nice to others” works?

So this afternoon, when you had to come up to my car to talk to me, I was surprised at what you had to say.   (you really want that step-mom roll don’t you?)

You don’t “feel comfortable” with me talking to your children.  I don’t seek out your children to talk to them.  When they see me at the school, gym, etc. I would think you could appreciate that I go out of my way to be nice and show your children that Tesla’s mom is not the “psycho-bitch, money spending, lazy, drug-dealing, lying, cheating whore of a mother” that my husband paints me to be.

Do you think I will pull your child aside and say negative things?  What do you think I would say?  I know my name gets bashed at the house, but that doesn’t mean I would do the same to you.

So Heather, you don’t feel comfortable?  Big fucking deal!  I don’t feel comfortable with you talking to my child.

Side tangent——> especially since I’ve learned how tragic your children’s lives have been since you became separated from your hubby.  Really, the nerve of you to insinuate I am doing something negative, hurtful or dangerous in my writing.  You raise the privacy issue, but you had no problem identifying who you are on my blogsite.  Since it’s not to hard to figure out who my husband is, it shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to realize people already know where you live.  Duh.

So as I suggested, you tell your children that they can’t talk to me.  You explain what the fuck your problem is, other than it bothers you that your children (especially your youngest) talk to me and like me.  If they talk to me, I am going to respond, because that’s what is polite.  Can’t you and John recall learning all this simple shit in kindergarten?  The children in the house have a better head on their shoulder’s than you two do.  Acting like this Heather just makes you look bad to your kids and Tesla.  I remember meeting you the week you and John hooked up….you wanted us to be friends.  Jesus, Mary and Joseph….you were priceless.

Not only am I uncomfortable with you talking to my child, I have a whole list things I am uncomfortable with, but I’ll save it for another time.

Tesla’s coat really needs laundered.  Could you use my washing machine and dryer and take care of that please?

Thanks g/f

~P.

Alanis knows how I feel

She almost nailed my feelings it in this song….only dfference is……I think Heather is younger.  Which means nothing.

Thank Jodie!

~P.

Alanis Morissette – You Oughta Know (with Lyrics) – YouTube.

 

Soooo quiet

Tesla went with her dad. It’s sooo quiet here. 😦

Her leaving went smoothly tonight. Unlike other nights.

John and/or Heather and/or kids seem compelled to accompany Tesla during the exchange. Sometimes all the way up to my car, parked at the top of the driveway. When John comes to get Tesla, I don’t even go to the door. This is much less stressful for Tesla and me. I am proud of her for sucking it up with all that goes on around her. Every time we are together Tesla drills me on why she can’t live with me. I tell her I am working on something with my lawyer to change that.

In the meantime, we must enjoy the time that we have together, not argue and practice using our patience. This part sounds very familiar, maybe because I had a similar conversation with her father years ago….so much for that speech working on the other Delauter.

Tesla told me she is remaining hopeful that she can change schools next year. Ok, she didn’t say it that way but she got the point across. I remain hopeful that a Divorce Master will finalize this divorce and the dust will settle. Only then can I really begin to plan for Tesla and my future.

~P.

Maybe it’s just me

but I doubt it.

 

I believe I have a right to be pissed off that the mortgage I hold with my husband is once again way behind.

He doesn’t have to pay child support or alimony anymore.  He apparently has plenty of money to go on vacation, buy another ATV, build all kinds of wooden structures in our back yard, redesign the inside of our house, redo the landscape of our property, enroll 4 kids in gymnastics at $44 each a month…I could go on, but the point is clear.

His girlfriend still gets alimony and child support….and welfare assistance while living in my house that is behind AGAIN in payments.

I take out school loans to make my rent.  Maybe Heather needs to hurry up and take out a school loan to make my house payments.  John’s explantion in court regarding his ability to come up with $15,000 to keep the house from foreclosured last year  just didn’t make sense.  He said he sold some stuff.  What the fuck is he selling to come up with $15k?  Telling Judge Dorney he had the mortgages current was bullshit and her believing him without making him prove it just shows how bad she screwed up.  The mortgage hasn’t been current since I lived there with John.

I get very little time with my child, yet the bitch living in my house sees Tesla like she is her mother.   I don’t see that Heather is even talented at taking care of her own children.  Just my opinion, of course.

Like I said, maybe it’s just me.  I have been sick for the past 12 hours.  Food poisoning I think and thank God I’m feeling better.

I’ve asked to see Tesla over and over.  My requests fall on deaf ears.  It’s all about John’s need to feel he is in control.

Divorce wanted,

~P.

 

Dear Heather~OMG!

Come on out and chat!

Dear Heather,

Guess who popped up in my life?  Give up?  A skeleton of yours has come out of the closet and wow, I am in shock.

So much more makes sense to me now.  Things that were a mystery have been solved, and it’s not pretty.  Not pretty at all.

As far as I’m concerned you don’t deserve to be in my daughter’s life.  I wonder how much of your past you were honest about with my husband.  I can only imagine how that conversation went.

Heather:  I cheated on my husband.

John:  I cheated on my wife.

Heather:  I own a home with my husband.

John:  I own one with my wife.

Heather:  I have four children.

John:  I have one, but would love four more.

Heather:  I am still married.

John:  I am still married!

In unison: OMG!! We are perfect for each other!

How much does John know about your past?  He does like to think of himself as the “saver of women” so maybe that was part of the appeal.  He might even go as far as to think he is the “Savior of Women” in his mind.

You might not have a record Heather, but you do have skeletons in your closet.  I think I have been giving you credit you don’t deserve.  You and John could compete for the number of skeletons you have in the closets.

There are many closets to come out of.

Creeeeeeeeeeeek,

~P.

Who is smart?!

John doesn’t read email and Heather doesn’t know how to open email. (yeah ok)  I would have believed it if she said “I can’t spell.”

 

LaDonna is on her honeymoon and John had to work today.  I’m surprised the world didn’t end….  Yes, John worked on a job!  Maybe he short on employees…I hope the job went better than some of the more recent ones.

 

Maybe my son is smarter than me, as John said to my face tonight.  Jarrid realized what a piece of —- John was way before I did.

Really, for not reading my blog or his emails, John sure knows what’s going on in my life.  John is just as obsessed with me now as the day he met me.  Sorry it didn’t work out.  Actually, I’m not sorry.  Thank God I got away.

Furthermore,  it’s sad that Tesla has to ride home in a work truck (must smell like stinky men) just because her dad has control issues and won’t let her ride with her cousin, Blaine and me.  Blaine and Tesla were in different gymnastic classes so they didn’t even get to talk.  The ride to back to her dad’s would have given them 10-15 minutes to chat.  But, no.  Daddy can’t let Tesla talk to her family.

 

Even though Tesla was in tears because she couldn’t ride with her mom, John didn’t care.  Of course he will blame it on me, saying I upset Tesla.  The child misses her mother but obviously her father and his current girlfriend don’t care.  Heather, you make me laugh when you tell people there is never a dull moment.  No shit, you signed up for it.  I almost can’t wait for your divorce and my divorce to go through.  Why?  Too see if the two of you actually get married.  Baaahaaaaahaaaaaa!  You know he is all yours!  I bet Dale and I marry before the two of you, because Dale is SINGLE and waiting to marry me!

 

Oh….I will never sign a divorce agreement that doesn’t completely remove my name from every document that currently holds John and I together.  So NO Heather, I won’t be signing off my house to you.  I realize that is your goal.

There should be NO reason Tesla can not go home with me right after school on Friday.  I will be at the school volunteering and Eastern has an dismissal making it much easier for her and I to be on our way after the school day.

Bullshit as usual,

~P.

Dear John~ Thanks

Dear John,

Just a quick note for you today.  I know you will get it as Heather is right on top of my writing.

Thank you for calling this morning and letting me know in a reasonable amount of time that you would not be taking Tesla to gymnastics.  I don’t blame the kids for wanting to play in the snow over going to the gym.  I guess my only concern would be, “if they are all sick, why play outside in the cold?”

So the girls are all going to gymnastics on Monday and Wednesday.  I’ve already asked if I can spend some time with Tesla on at least one of those days.  I realize it’s not part of her schedule, put it should be.

Also I have the Valentine’s Day cards her and I made for her class.  I’ll send them with Tesla on Monday, for school on Tuesday.

Please, let’s really focus on what’s best for Tesla.  She needs to regularly see me and her blood-related family that will never change over her life.  I will treat you with respect if you can do the same for me.  That includes keeping your girlfriend on a short leash.  I appreciate what she does do for Tesla, but I don’t appreciate her desire to tell me what I can and can’t do.

Thank you,

~P.

I’ll call the police

“I will call the police,” I heard, walking towards the gymnastic center’s doors.  I could not believe Heather was threatening to call the cops on me.  Well, actually I can.  She sounded just like John.  His voice was still on my mind.

John and I ran into each other earlier that day, at our family doctor’s office.  John had Heather’s son at the office.  I was just leaving after a follow-up concerning my meds.  My stomach was nauseated almost daily for a month and I couldn’t control when I might throw-up.  It didn’t even have to involve John.  It crossed my mind I might be pregnant, but the test clearly showed only one line.  Anyone need the other pregnancy test?

I asked my future ex-beloved to explain why our doctor had no record of Tesla’s atv accident and he said he had not spoken to John about any possible injuries.  John insisted our doctor would put that in writing for him and I said, I will believe it when I see it.  Which is worse?  Not telling me Tesla had an accident on the atv or telling me he had her checked by a doctor when he hadn’t?

Tesla has gymnastics once a week.  My time with Tesla on a personal level is severely restricted.  When I do get time with Tesla one-on-one, I have to sign an agreement that it’s a one time visit.  John is adamant that this is how the judicial system wants our custody agreement handled.  I think he is just a control freak.  Now this week at gymnastics, Heather had Tesla and her girls at the gym but John wasn’t present.  He texted me “sick” after I asked twice why he wasn’t there.  Now I had just seen him earlier in the day at our doctor’s office.  Less than four hours later he is too sick to take Tesla to gymnastics?  Why wasn’t I contacted so I had the opportunity to spend more time with Tesla while her dad was “sick?”

Gymnastics is over….the waiting room is jammed to the hilt with squealing children in spandex and parents trying to get them in or out.  Tesla’s coat was on and I took her hand to walk towards the door.  I had already asked John twice if I could take Tesla home because, I knew she would ask me.  No go…he was fixated on Heather taking Tesla home.  When changing clothes, Tesla asked me in the bathroom if she could go home with me.  I told her I couldn’t take her home with me.  Next, of course, she asked me to take her to her dad’s.  I told her I couldn’t, she would have to ride with Heather.  Tesla was not happy, but I told her I would see her again, as soon as possible.

“Pattie!  Pattie!  Stop, Tesla is going home with me! I’ll call the police!”

Now I am no fool and I have no interest in having the cops come to my daughter’s gymnastics studio.  Heather must have had it in her head (or it was put in her head) that I would sail out of there with Tesla in tow and she would be left behind with only her daughters.  How the hell would she explain that to “The Man?”  What made me giggle inside, though I was nearly at my boiling point on the outside, was “what the hell would she say to the cops after I left to take Tesla home?”

9-1-1 Operator:  911, what is your emergency?

Heather:  I need the police to chase down Patricia Crider.  She left with her daughter, Tesla and is driving her home.

9-1-1 Operator:  Your name is?

Heather:  Heather King.

9-1-1 Operator:  Your relationship to Patricia?

Heather:  She is my boyfriend’s wife and he told me not to let Patricia drive her daughter home because…..we just don’t want her to…..

Obviously, Heather did not call the police, even after I told her to “go right ahead.”  Just more ridiculous threats in front of all four children.  Heather insisted I started the drama because I yelled at her.  Seriously, I barely speak to Heather and she was the one “chasing me down.”

Heather has no business telling me what I can or can’t do with my child.  I don’t want to hear her telling me to “take it back to court if I don’t like the decision.”  What I don’t like is her big mouth filling my ears with what she thinks.  I don’t care what she thinks.  She is just a tool and hasn’t realized it yet.

I wonder what people at church think about Heather and John’s newly formed family.  Does the pastor dance around the fact that they are both married to other people?  I am embarrassed that I can’t get John to go forward with the divorce proceedings.  I don’t want my child growing up thinking it’s ok to be married to one person but screwing someone else.  Neither of them seem to mind that they are setting a terrible example for their offspring.

No shortage of writing material here.

~P.

Dear John~Irritated

Dear John,

Again, nothing you do surprises me.  I just roll my eyes and continue on with life.

You see, before dinner, Tesla pulled out all the “cool stuff” from her book bag.  Arts and crafts and several books.  After dinner she pulled out her school papers and was satisfied she was done sharing what she felt was important.

I went through what was left and what do I find? “Telsa’s” parent contacts listing.  My name was nowhere to be found, but Heather and her husband are both listed for their children.  I also noticed your new email address.  Yet when I asked for a personal email you didn’t have one.  Just send it to work and when LaDonna checks my email she will let me know.  Why would you want LaDonna reading all our emails?

Now Tesla keeps telling me her neck hurts and she has a large black and blue mark on her arm.  Oh, and that she ran into you riding the little 4-wheeler then fell off.  All I asked her was what was making her neck hurt.  I don’t think she was making it up as she was very specific about where it happened in the yard and how she hit you.

Thanks for ignoring my texts messages.

That didn’t surprise me either,

~P.