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Sep 28, 2012

Dear John~mocking your child

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Letters he nevers learn from

Dear John,

It’s been stressful for Tesla and I dealing with your drama.  Your self-centered desire to have the world rotate around you.  While I detest having to beg you to let me spend time with Tesla, I do it.  If I don’t ask and ask and ask, I would only see Tesla every other weekend.  Even my sons are appalled that you intentionally keep Tesla from seeing her mother….their mother.

Tonight Tesla said how nice it was that you took her to your softball game so she could see me.  I agreed with her because what else could my response have been?  You don’t want her and my visit to be considered you allowing us to see each other…but there is no other way to explain it.  The judge encouraged you to allow time for Tesla and I beyond the court order, you just want to forget that part.

I didn’t bring up how pissed off I am that you are still insisting on suing me for child support.  That I should be held responsible to support Tesla in the household.  Oh, and that Heather pays rent, or utilities or whatever.  I was just happy to be with Tesla.

Speaking of Heather, I’m sorry to hear of the loss in her family.  Before you showed your true colors to Tesla tonight, I had offered to help out if you needed me too.  Of course you have everything under control.  I didn’t ask why LaDonna was getting Tesla ready for school on Wednesday, but that makes sense now.  She is handy to fill in as the third mommy.  What’s her hourly rate as substitute mom?

Wrapping this up, I just want to point out for a second time what a douchebag move that was mocking Tesla (and me) when we said our goodbyes.  Tesla said “eight days” referring to how long she must wait to be with me and I repeated it back to her. We didn’t need your mocking in that high-pitch voice, “eight days! eight days!”  It just points out how pathetic and bitter you are that this little girl misses her mom.  When I told you not to mock her for missing me, you said you weren’t but news flash….YOU WERE.  I knew it and so did Tesla.  She crossed her arms and didn’t want you to touch her as you walked her to your truck.  I don’t blame her.

Shame on you ,John.  Shame on you.

~P.

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Sep 27, 2012

Take that wicked witch

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I was told by several neighbors how nice they think I am. That’s a big difference since I got word that Angel tells the office no one here likes me. Or maybe it’s Angel’s daughter….not that she lives here and would know.

Apparently what Angel says doesn’t amount to a hill of dog shit.

My car is running and I’m off to see Tesla!!

Woot wooty woot!

~P.

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Sep 27, 2012

Dear Heather~Rent is due

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Dear Heather,

John says you pay rent.  Is that why he’s not getting any coochie-coo?

ROFLMAO,

~P.

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Sep 26, 2012

The rambling professor

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The professor has to be juiced or cursed with a bad case of ADHD.

His lips move so quickly-words gush and blur-the deaf would be defenseless to read.

“Has anyone read —insert names no one recognizes.”

The look of despair when no hands are raised.

Name dropping doesn’t impress…just alienates.

 

 

Filed Under: College, Professional Writing Class · Tagged: , , ,
Sep 26, 2012

Dear John~It is NOT about you

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Dear John,

I realize you probably like when I cry.  Makes you feel good.  I realize as much as you tell me you don’t read my blog, you most likely do.  You tell me you just have to hear about it from 5 to 10 people.  In reality that narrows it down to 1.  You are known for your exaggerations.  (Sorry to hear you’re not getting laid-you’ll remedy that)

You keep bringing up the past, while I push for the present.  You claim I hurt you in the past, that I didn’t want to spend time with our daughter, that I was a drug addict, that I spent money wildly.  Seriously, even if it were 100% true, what does any of that have to do with now?  Our past is OVER and I have moved on.  I realize you have not and you are waiting for me to say I was the one who caused our break-up.  That will never happen.

Tonight you asked if I thought you were stupid.  Well, I do think you are stupid but not due to the reason you asked.  You seem to believe if you let Tesla spend time with me, I will file for custody.  I can file whether you let her spend time with me outside the custody order or not.  It’s not about what you want, it’s about what she wants.  I know you listen to our conversations and hear her counting off how many days until she is with me.  I’m not putting that into her head, she puts it into mine.  I don’t ask her if she wants to live with me, she tells me every chance she gets.  It’s not that she doesn’t love her father, she just wants to live with her mother.

You bring up how you were married for 18 years.  Please -spare me, it’s already come out in court that you easily broke your marriage of 18 years to have a chance to be a father.  I seriously believed you loved me and I was special.

Call me naivete or just plain stupid.  I accept either.

~P.

Why do I blog about my life?  To get me through it.  I have a super supportive man in my life, unlike the past.

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Sep 25, 2012

Likes, Dislikes & Just don’t get

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Just because this is my blog and I can.

LIKES:

making photograms

angry birds

mean comments about me on my own blog/facebook

poptarts

IUD’s

ties that don’t rip my hair out by the root

DISLIKES;

eyebrow mites

car that doesn’t start

carpet stains

liver

going over on my data plan

JUST DON’T GET:

math with weird symbols

blog awards

dogs that are fussy where they pee

where the magic in my eraser goes

telephone books

There you go!   My likes, dislikes and what I don’t get.

What do you like, dislike or don’t get?

~P.

Filed Under: Just Life · Tagged:
Sep 25, 2012

No need for perfect

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Her ear wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t matter.  It seemed to me, her beauty came from within.  Beauty in the twinkle of her eye, beauty in her giggle, beauty in the tassels of her hair.  Very little hair indeed.

Even her tearful cries were beautiful-like that of a lamb separated from its mother.  And once quieted, rocked to sleep-resting as a content angel-my most beautiful creation.

~~~To my beautiful daughter Tesla.  We had three minutes to write about what we believe to be “the most beautiful thing.”

~P.

Filed Under: College, Professional Writing Class, Tesla · Tagged: , , , ,
Sep 25, 2012

Can’t sleep~too many naps

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Yes I know.  It’s my own fault.  I napped in the library on the ugly green couch and dozed off reading a short story on my comfy red couch.  It happens.

Now I can’t sleep and the wheels in my head are turning, unlike the wheels on my car.  I must fix my car and hopefully, I can.  That 1992 Honda Accord must last at least two more years minimum.  Even longer if possible since my credit is shot in the ass and the chances of getting a loan for even a used car are slim to none.

How ironic that John just bought another truck.  I guess Kelly was up his ass to get her name off the truck she bought with him.  You know, back when they were SO in love and life was grand.  Like the ten grand she dropped on renovating the house.  That worked out good for Heather you know.  She has twice as many kids as Kelly so the renovations really made moving in with John a no-brainer.  Just add house and instant family!

Back to the truck…The only reason John would get rid of the truck he had, all blinged out with Delauter’s A1 Moving Helpers on the windows, would be because Kelly and him had it titled together.  So yeah, that pisses me off.  Why does Kelly get to free her name up from that jackass and I don’t?  I can not wait for our divorce to go before the divorce master.  It’s impossible not to see the delay is because he doesn’t want to or can’t settle up what he started.  Don’t file for divorce if your bark turns into a whimper and you piss on yourself rolling onto your back.  Unless you mean to piss on yourself…Hey to each their own.

So I will work on my car today.  I watched YouTube videos on how to remove the master fuel fuse whatcha-ma-call-it and how to repair it with the solder thinger.  It has been years since I soldered but I’m sure it’s like riding a bike.  Speaking of bike, I am hoping for nice weather so I can ride my cycle to school.  Riding is fun and I really enjoy it.  My Harley is one thing I’d like to keep post divorce.  Of course, John’s name is on the title also.  He is SO about having joint accounts.  Hell, his first wife is still on the title to his Harley.  How’s all that joint account shit working out for you now John?  Not so great I bet.  Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

I thought writing might tire me out.  It’s not working…and the tires on my car are starting to look bare, like my checking account.  No worries though.  I’ll get through.  It’s not like the day my Mercedes was repossessed.  No one is taking my Honda away, or my Harley.  I just fixed my Harley so I’m feeling confident.  At least until I pull the bottom of my dashboard off.  🙂

Seriously, Dale and I just finished fixing all the rust spots that plague Honda’s so  it has to run again.  All that bondo can not go to waste.  The grinding and mixing and sanding and sweating and blood it took to make it pass inspection must prevail!  Maybe I should have just let it rust.  I show it some love and attention and it just lets me sit.  At least I was close to home and not in say….Georgia.

I’ll figure something out, I always do.

~P.

Hoping to see Tesla on Wednesday.  I have asked several times now…

 

Filed Under: John, Just Life · Tagged: , , , ,
Sep 17, 2012

O’Connor on James Joyce~Araby

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O’Connor describes Joyce’s short story writing style as pictorial comparing his stories to “a beautifully illustrated book.”  I agree with O’Connor’s description of Joyce’s style because Araby paints a picture in the reader’s mind without the need of illustration.

Araby is a short story compared to others we have read for this class, but it does not leave one questioning the characters or setting.  The first paragraph opens with the description of the street the characters live on.  It is a dead-end street but Joyce makes the street much more with his description, “…being blind, was a quiet street except at the hour when the Christian Brothers’ School set the boys free.”  His writing brings the houses to life giving them abilities not usually attributed to inanimate objects.  The houses “…gazed at one another with brown imperturbable faces” painting a somber picture of brownstones lining a quiet street.

O’Connor also comments that Joyce creates a “hypnotic effect” in his writing.  I also found such an effect in Araby.  “The light from the lamp opposite our door caught the white curve of her neck, lit up her hair that rested there and falling, lit up the hand upon the railing.”  This sentence has a rhythm to it that is distinguishable and could be lyrics to a song.  He repeats words or uses a different form of a word such as light and lit to create a pattern unique to his style of work.

Joyce also writes multiple adjectives without the use of punctuation.  This was noticeable to me prior to reading O’Connor’s review of Joyce’s writing style.  I particularly appreciated his description of the gardens and horse stables.  A garden and horse stable have little in common but one word-dark-pulls them together in the sentence.  “…the dark dripping gardens…to the dark odorous stables…”  Joyce uses no punctuation and repeats words describing two unlike places.  And it works beautifully.

Joyce’s use of simile also presents an image a reader “can accept or reject but can’t modify to suit one’s own mood or environment” as O’Connor points out.  Two sentences that did indeed illustrate the boy’s embarrassment with having a crush on the neighbor can be visualized in “…yet her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood” and carries an impact that a simple statement such as, “her name makes me blush” cannot do.  The same is true with “But my body was like a harp and her words and gestures were like fingers running upon the wires.”  The mental image these sentences create give understanding to his deep feelings for this young lady.

It is this unique, hypnotic effect throughout Araby that confirms O’Connor’s pictorial description of Joyce’s style of writing.  The sentence rhythm, form and word choices create a beautiful picture in the mind of a reader just as Joyce had intended.

Filed Under: College, Professional Writing Class · Tagged: , , , , ,
Sep 17, 2012

cast cutting and bone pins pulled

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Tesla was a bit scared at the thought and sound of the cast cutting saw.  Even after the nurse put the saw against her own hand to show her it couldn’t cut skin.  The sound is intimidating.

Dr. Bixler told Tesla that she had super strong bones.  When he went to pull the four pins out, they didn’t want to budge.  He said normally they slide right out.  What Dr. Bixler didn’t know was for the two years of her life, she only wanted milk.  I’d say she survived on 95% milk, 5% food.  Her doctor said that she was perfectly healthy and eventually she would want more than milk.  He was right, now she only wants McDonald’s.  🙂

Tesla was a trouper for the pin removal.  Even with it being more difficult than expected, she winced a little bit but didn’t cry out or shed a tear.  Her doctor and nurse complimented her on being such a good patient, better than most all their other patients.  I was very proud of her and her toughness.  That’s my girl, chip off the ole block.

If my camera battery hadn’t died, I would have recorded the pin removal.  I only managed a few pictures of her Frankenelbow.

Cross your fingers….no more broken bones!

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