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Aug 21, 2013

Amish Esther Co-Signs

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Esther2

Have you indulged in the Discovery’s Channels “reality tv” series Amish Mafia yet?  If not, what the heck are you waiting for?  This show has a little bit of everything for everyone.  Unless you’re actually Amish, then you shouldn’t be watching.

The program is full of contradictions about how the Old Amish Sect functions.  Obviously none of the characters are truly Amish or they wouldn’t be on the program.  Also, the main characters use cellphones, drive, and other no-nos.  All that aside, the blend of scripted programming along with the “slices of life” that are genuine-they’re aren’t faking getting arrested- the whole program is just cray-cray.

Esther, who has blocked me on Twitter, is apparently doing well for herself with this series.  This isn’t her first rodeo–or maybe, sewing circle.  I’m told she is doing well enough to co-sign for her ex-boyfriend to buy a new car back in July.  Mirkat and Esther are not a couple, but apparently still close enough that she would co-sign for him.  Strange, since not that long ago, she said he was abusing her physically.  Oh the Amish drama!  I thought the pair made a striking couple.  The song “Ebony and Ivory” just popped into my head.  Esther likes her meat dark, ya know? (A reader pointed out that this sounded extremely racist. Just to clarify, Esther tweeted she likes her meat dark. I can’t access her account anymore but, trust me, she did.)

Another thing that interests me: Esther claims the Amish pay just as much taxes as the “English” to the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and government.  That kick-up a bit of a shit storm online as most people disagree.  What about sales tax on vehicle purchases?  Just kidding, I’m sure Mirkat paid for all that.

The scenes in Amish Mafia are priceless, you don’t know if you should laugh, cry or get pissed off.  At times, I do all three.

Will Freeman speak?  Will Esther give up sewing circles?  Will Levi ever fall for scripted love again?  Will Jolin take his shirt off soon? Will Merlin pull a shoo-fly pie out of his ass?

Time will tell.

~P.

More Amish Mafia:

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/08/13/amishmafiamoreofthecircusmobtonight/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/05/10/the-amish-mafia-conspiracy-21st-century-reality-tv/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/02/17/levi-loses-control-amishmafia/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/01/30/amish-mafia-heres-the-truth/

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Aug 13, 2013

Amish Mafia: More of the Circus Mob Tonight

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‘Amish Mafia’ star Alan Beiler sentenced to prison for state trooper car chase – NY Daily News.

Amish Mafia is back on the Discovery Channel tonight!  I admit it, I’m excited.  Let’s be honest…this creative nonfiction, reality television show is entertaining.  They are all real people, acting out what Discovery wants portrayed.  Every now and then there is a hiccup in the filming, and reality steps in, but it’s a welcome from the network.  Nothing makes a made-up story about Amish Mafia seem more realistic than having cast member fleeing and alluding the police.  I hear we will see coverage of Alan at the courthouse.  Really, though, Alan isn’t that important to the show.  Just my opinion. 😉

Alan can always perform as the mobster who was taken down after several run-ins with the police.  The chases just had to be for his own excitement.  Discovery channel wasn’t there to film that…what a shame.  Where was Alan racing off to hide?  It’s not like the police didn’t know his car and face.  He could have just stopped and been charged with the little bit of weed and Xanax.  Duh.  I hope 21 months is enough time to sit and think about what a stupid move that was.

I’m excited to see what Esther will be up to and if we will see more of the strange brother, called by his last name, Freeman.  Esther’s other brother, John, was in trouble with the law not too long ago.  I think John fled from the police also, this time in a car owned by a Discovery employee.  Why are they letting John drive any vehicle?  He doesn’t even have a license for his scooter!

Amish Mafia 001

Levi has been working hard at his “English” business of roofing, siding and the general.  He has made several appearances for charity in the Lancaster area.  I think I might invite him to next years 150th Anniversary of Dover, PA Borough.  Many of our ancestors in this area came from Europe, fleeing religious persecution.  Particularly an Anabaptist sect that fled Germany and relocated in Lancaster, PA.  Dover Township is nearly identical to Lancaster’s agricultural resources.

And what will that evil, complete whack-job, champagne to his horse, Mennonite in Ohio, Merlin be up to?  Other then causing grief and over drama in Lancaster, of course.  Is he really the narcissist portrayed on our television screens?  I don’t care if he can quote the Bible and speak in half-ass Dutch.  No way would I want to work with someone at his level of insanity.

Will we see Jolin this season?  He is the eye-candy of the show.  Big Steve and the angry little guy, just can’t take Jolin’s place in our eyes.

Ok, enough already.  I’ll be watching…  ~P.

More Amish Mafia:

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/05/10/the-amish-mafia-conspiracy-21st-century-reality-tv/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/01/30/amish-mafia-heres-the-truth/

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May 10, 2013

The Amish Mafia Conspiracy~ 21st Century Reality TV

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They've been around. The English just didn't need to know it.

They’ve been around. The English just didn’t need to know it.

AM Conspiracy <——click here to read how Amish Mafia came about!!!

This paper was educational and enjoyable to create.  Even if Esther won’t speak to me anymore.  Why, I’m not sure….

~P.

Filed Under: Amish Mafia, College, Professional Writing Class, Religion · Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Apr 14, 2013

Amish Mafia: Established in the 17th Century

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They've been around. The English just didn't need to know it.

They’ve been around. The English just didn’t need to know it.

The opening paragraph of my thesis paper about religious conspiracy in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Religion 368

Popular Culture Project

“I play all over the United States and can say ‘Lancaster, Pennsylvania’ anywhere and they will know where you are talking about.  Isn’t that amazing?!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             ~Suzanne Westenhoefer

It is safe to assume that across the county, and often world-wide, Lancaster, Pennsylvania is a town people have heard about and even traveled to visit.  What the world did not know about is the secret society within this tight-knit, quiet community that places God above all.  The secret organization, known now as the Amish Mafia, has come out of hiding after organizing in the late 17th century.  The ease of a religious secret society to hide in a closed community is reasonable as the Amish have little interaction with those outside of their religion.  They chose to live without what most people consider the basics in life.  They have their own moral beliefs, rules, rituals and history to live by in addition to the traditional commandments upheld by those of the Christian faith.  This paper will exam the traditional beliefs of the Amish community, the reality program produced by the Discovery Channel titled, The Amish Mafia, and the veracity of the televised program portraying the conspiracy of a secret organization hidden in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Filed Under: Amish Mafia, College, Religion · Tagged: , , , , , ,
Feb 17, 2013

Levi Loses Control ~AmishMafia

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Levi! Your mob is out of control....

Levi! Your mob is out of control….

Levi…I’m concerned about your rowdy group of mafia misfits.  They are committing all types of acts that are catching the attention of fans…and the police.  From hit and runs, drugs and wild women…you have your hands full.

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John hasn’t been hiding from the authorities.  If he were hiding he wouldn’t be on our television screens.  He turned himself in and that was a wise move.  Otherwise Levi might need to feed him to the fishes.  I’m just curious why John was driving the vehicle of a Discovery employee when John is only licensed to operate a foot propelled scooter.  I bet that employee is kicking their own ass for letting John, resident goofball, drive his car.  No wonder Levi isn’t buying him a vehicle.

Mirkat

Esther…what is going on girlfriend?  After the breaking of Levi’s heart, checking out Jolin like he was a side of beef, and kissing that creepy Merlin, you are now dating a rapper.  You go girl!  I’ve spoke to your boyfriend and things seem to be going well.  I’d advise having some say over the pictures he posts.

Keeping it hot in the kitchen girlfriend

Keeping it hot in the kitchen girlfriend

The kitchen pics were hot but this one is not.

Esther2

While I hold no issue with interracial relationships, how does the Amish community view such relationships?  What does Levi think?  I’m 100% sure the fans of the show would love to see this play out in Season 3.  I suggest filming begin immediately.

Allen Beiler

Allen Beiler

And then we have Allen, the mastermind of the entire show.  Allen doesn’t want to spend much time in front of the camera.  If he were, it would catch him in the act of committing a crime.  Like John, Allen can’t stay out of trouble.  Wouldn’t their real lives be interesting on tv?  Don’t quit with the reenactments.  Those are entertaining to we fans.  Just keep cameras on them all the time.

Now that would be reality tv.

~P.

Filed Under: Amish Mafia, College, Professional Writing Class · Tagged: , , , , , , ,
Feb 13, 2013

Amish Mafia Levi called

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The Big Boss called

The Big Boss called

This afternoon, while home sick, my phone rang.  The call ID name flashed on the screen Levi Stoltzfus.  And I be derned, it was.

Levi said he can’t give me an interview at this time because Discovery forbids them from giving interviews and having social media accounts.  So as I reported before, no one from The Amish Mafia has Facebook pages, Twitter accounts…If they did, they don’t now.  Levi stated, “I hate that fans believe these people online are me.  We have no online accounts.”

He seemed to appreciate my interest in the show and voiced some concern about the show possibly not being renewed.  He didn’t state why but I suspect it could be over the “events are recreated” issue.  I said, “While I don’t want to hear people are running around with guns shooting watermelons up, it was great to see Jolin do it on tv.”  Levi laughed, “Yeah, it is great for tv.  I’m glad people like it.  We really do shoot up watermelons patches to make a point.”

Levi has a really nice voice when he is not wound-up screaming at someone, like John.  We talked for a little over ten minutes and agreed to keep in touch.

He likes the idea of a book.

So do I.

~P.

Filed Under: Amish Mafia, Professional Writing Class · Tagged: , , , , ,
Jan 30, 2013

Amish Mafia: Here’s the truth

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What ya gonna do when they come for you?

What ya gonna do when they come for you?

Discovery Channel you had a good idea here with this Amish Mafia show.  It is a show that tells a story about some events that may or may not have really happened in Lancaster, PA and a bit in Ohio.  It tries to be a reality show, but it is not.

If it were a reality show we would see Esther Schmucker and Levi Stoltzfus learning they will be traveling to FL for a spontaneous vacation.  Esther knew they were going to FL, and that “Oh that’s just creepy” line was just good acting on her part.  She’s not an actress.  But she would like to be.  Esther would also like to be a model.  Her boyfriend (though they seem to have broken up) was a black rapper that goes by The Real Mirkat who smokes bongs in his videos.  He has nothing bad to say about Esther and considers her a wonderful person.  I haven’t spoke to Esther in over a week, but I wonder if she says the same.

Then there is Allen Bieler, a local repeat in the news.  He loves running from the cops.  Probably because of that weed, pills, etc. that was in the car.  He is listed as a paid actor on the set of Amish Mafia.  He has worked for them in the past in recording Amish stories.  Yes, he did get adopted and did live in Lancaster.  He currently lives in Lancaster, out free without bail.  Amazing, a “mafia member” out of jail and no need for bail.  Mafia my ass.

And Levi Stoltzfus, the Mafia Boss.  The only thing Levi is boss of is his deck and siding business.  His business has been around for a long time but only last year joined the Better Business Bureau.  I’m sure to look as legit as possible now that he would be on television as the Boss of Lancaster County.  Did I mention Levi is a cousin of one of the girls from Breaking Amish?  Levi if you’re the boss how about finding out where the Amish puppy mills are and doing something about it?  Or what about the horses sold off for slaughter at auction?  Oh wait Levi, you are guilty of doing just that.  Is the head of the Amish Mafia really that broke he has to take his horses to auction and not donate them to an horse rescue?  People don’t want to hear about Levi sending his horses get whacked and making some cash too.

Twitter Wars could be another show for TLC oops, Discovery Channel.  (Esther worked for TLC on their series Breaking Amish.  TLC and DC are produced by the same company)  Esther was on Twitter but has since decided it’s just insane.  Levi Stoltzfus account has been suspended…don’t know who suspended.  There are other “characters” that may or may not be on Twitter making disgusting comments.  I wonder if Levi is regretting taking the part of Boss Man.  So much drama for just an Amish man….well, for a non-Amish man.

So it’s fake.  FAKE….fake….yep fake.  Come on, you already knew it.  I won’t twist the knife but: IT’S FAKE!!  The “cast” of Amish locals are no longer friends.  It is strictly business for them.  Can you imagine having to work with Merlin?  Some nutbag they found in Ohio to be Levi’s rival.  At least they don’t have to fake hate and contempt.  No acting required for that.

Thank God it is fake because Lancaster County doesn’t need Robin Hood like characters brandishing semi-automatic weapons.  And where the heck did they find Jolin, the finest maybe Mennonite, now maybe living in the area.  At least til this roller-coaster ride comes to an end.  Now that a local business that gives tours of the Amish area has decided to add a tour of filming locations, the show could become even more popular.  Perhaps it won’t matter if it’s fake.  If it brings business to Amish community, that will be a plus.

Just admit there is no mafia in Lancaster.  And this show and supposed mafia people have nothing to do with the horrible shootings at Nickels Mine School, and I’ll be happy.  Otherwise, I’m coming to find out.  That reporter in Hollywood won’t be coming, but I can….and will.

Hunting down the mafia,

~Pattie

P.S. This makes for great creative nonfiction.  I’m going to ace this class and term.

UPDATE: 6/15/2013

I used the Amish Mafia as the thesis of my Religious Secrets and Conspiracy final paper.

Click these links to read the results of my deeper delve into the Amish Mafia.

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/05/10/the-amish-mafia-conspiracy-21st-century-reality-tv/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/02/13/amish-mafia-levi-called/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/01/21/amish-mafia-story/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/02/17/levi-loses-control-amishmafia/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/03/07/freeman-is-the-man/

http://girlboxer1970.com/2013/02/08/esther-keeps-the-kitchen-hot/

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