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Apr 4, 2011

Child exchange drama

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Note: exchange time is at 5PM unless agreement of earlier or later time has been made.

April 4, 2011 4:36 PM

I receive a text from Mr. Delauter “my truck broke down heather is getting tesla she might be there a little early”

I respond “I am not comfortable with that.  Sorry. Call me when u can get here.”

Mr. Delauter calls me immediately screaming at me to send Tesla with Heather.  I tried to tell him to just come when he has a vehicle but he begins swearing at me and threatening to not let Tesla’s brothers or aunt pick her up anymore.  I hang up. 

5:14 PM  Heather arrives and states I need to “stop playing games” and let her have Tesla.  I told her I don’t know her or anything about her and will not make my daughter leave with her.  Heather refuses to leave my parents and says she will wait for John to show up and put Tesla in her van.  She was quick to point out that this was not my property. (Yeah, no shit!  You’re already living in my property!)  I tell my dad who is out there and why.  He could see that Tesla was upset.  He asked me if I knew her and I said her name is Heather and she’s John’s new girlfriend.  Dad rolled his eyes..lol

5:30 PM John arrives on his motorcycle flying up the driveway like a madman.  He begins yelling at me immediately.  Saying I put in Tesla head she shouldn’t go with Heather.  Tesla told her dad she didn’t want to go with Heather but would ride on his cycle. (he rode her around at the house and to the neighbors in the past)  John tells her she has to get in the van.  John tells Heather that I put it in Tesla head not to go with her.  He continues yelling at me, upsetting Tesla even more until she was in tears again.  He says I should have “made Tesla go with Heather because Heather lives in HIS house.”  Sorry, but no where does it say I must let Tesla go with a stranger.

 I told him to quit yelling at me and that I didn’t put anything in Tesla’s head.  Tesla finally gets in the van and John tells me not to send anyone to the house for Tesla because he is not going to let anyone (meaning Tesla’s blood-related family) pick her up for me.  This conversation of course contained him swearing at me, accusing me of putting in Tesla head she doesn’t have to go with Heather.   Tesla saw Heather and was clearly unwilling to leave with her by her own rights.

At no time, did I say anything like that to Tesla.  She has known Heather approximately 5 weeks.  Maybe Tesla just isn’t comfortable either!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged: ,
Apr 4, 2011

Seriously, court AGAIN

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The check isn't in the mail...

So court this morning was just to determine if there would actually be a hearing for contempt.  My lawyer pointed out (in my absence) that any female, including John’s girlfriend could have called and made the address change.  I KNOW it wasn’t me, but John insists on continuing with this so now it’s scheduled for next Tuesday.  Even Judge Ness told him he would have a hard time proving that it was me!

After school I went to the post office in Windsor.  The clerk explained to me that she told John this morning what happened with the mail being changed automatically in Harrisburg, at the request of Yellowbook.  The clerk said she would get the post master, Sandy to come out and talk to me.  When she went back, I could hear the postmaster say she “didn’t want to hear anymore about it.”  Apparently things did not go well this morning when John stopped in.  The clerk told her it was Mrs. Delauter (gag me) and she came out and nicely told me the same thing the clerk told me and obviously the same thing they told John.  Automatic address change request on behalf of Yellowbook.  The post master and clerk both said “you husband didn’t seem to get what we were telling him.”

That is clear as he is continuing this Yellowbook drama….

~P

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: , , ,
Mar 30, 2011

That sinking feeling

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Everyone knows what that sinking feeling in the stomach is like.  I have become too damn familiar with it unfortunately. 

I get that feeling when I have to:

Talk to John.

 participate in group discussion and know I haven’t read the text. 

See John.

poop and there is no toilet nearby.

Text John.

go to the dentist for a check up.

You get the picture…..

Today, I felt it again.  Right after a test in art class.  I had finished up my test and handed it in, that sinking feeling arrived.  Knocking around inside my belly, twisting up my guts.  I checked my notes and sure enough, I had confused two pieces of art.  That confirmed that one essay question was going to be entirely wrong.  I felt like it was going well during the test but the reality of it is…. I screwed that one question up royally.

Does screwing up one question cause complete failure on the test?  Hell no!  Am I going to get all hung up on this wrong answer?  Hell no!  Does this make me want to give up my art class?  Hell no!  Fight that sinking feeling!  I am a floater!!!  LMAO

I have a sinking feeling about this upcoming Monday at York County Courthouse.  Anytime someone has to go to the courthouse, it certainally causes a sinking feeling.  Being charged with contempt and accused of trying to wreck the business I helped established is a tough pill to swallow.  One gets tired of constantly defending herself, yet this marriage and divorce seems to force me into this position practically daily. 

Cross your fingers for me on Monday.  I’ll let you know how the gavel falls!

~P.

Update on my Art test…..I pulled a 92%  Guess I knew what I was talking about after all.  hahah

Filed Under: College, Divorce, John · Tagged: , ,
Mar 29, 2011

CONTEMPT!

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I hate parking in York to go to the courthouse.  Yet again, I have to go in.  It’s not domestic this time.  I am charged with contempt for interferring with business.  Specifically, John claims I called Yellowbook and changed the mailing address to cause him to lose business because he didn’t run an ad in the phonebook.  Now he wants Judge Ness (same judge that evicted me from the house based on lies) to make ME pay for the phonebook ad AND his lawyer fees.  WTF?

I haven’t had anything to do with the business.  This is John’s way of tying up the divorce process me costing me lawyer fees.  Will this ever end???

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged:
Mar 23, 2011

The domestic difference

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The support hearing came and passed.  Domestics lowered my support to about half of what I was receiving and my claiming of Tesla for 2010 taxes is in question. 

 Our business is failing miserably but there is nothing I can do not that I’m on the outside looking in  At one point, it felt like everyone was calling to be moved but the economy just sucks.  The moving business just doesn’t pay the bills. 

(Though it was a very nice, new ring John was wearing on his wedding finger at the hearing.  Perhaps a material object to show his devotion to the new love of his life.)

With the mortgages in the toilet, loans left unpaid, child support lowered….shouldn’t a rational person stop and just think over whether owning a moving company is sensible.  If people can’t afford their homes and are losing them to the banks, they are not going to have the money for a mover.  The cost of running a moving company is outrageous.  A gross of about $150,000 is reduced to a net income of about $28,000 after expenses. 

A rational person would realize there’s no money in this business anymore.  It’s not going to support the lifestyle one has grown accustomed to.  I understand that and feel strongly that continuing to let debt fall behind into collections will not be beneficial to anyone.

Just my opinion….if a ship is sinking, do something!  The communication during the divorce is dismal.  I’ve been told bankruptcy will be filed, then I was told not.  As far behind as everything is and all lines of credit maxed out, I only see the ship going down. 

This failed marriage is extremely difficult for me.  While the love I once had is long gone,  the disappointment  and emotional scars are still fresh.  Until the divorce is completed and custody established, I will still feel that pain.  The good thing about having these feelings is it reminds me I am alive.  If I’m alive, I will continue getting through everyday and never give up. 

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged:
Mar 21, 2011

Delauter/Crider Domestics tomorrow

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Great….Monday at York County Courthouse. What a pain in the ass just finding parking in York City, then going through the security check and to top it off losing the remainder of Monday with Tesla.   Because I have to go to domestics and repeat for the fourth time that: I live in my parent’s basement, I am a full-time student at York College and I have no income because Mr. Delauter has not been paying what the court has instructed him to pay.  Even though he’s not paying, he’s taking ME to domestics. 

Tomorrow is for his plea to domestics that his support obligations should be dismissed or diminished due to his income reduction.  Business is slow, I’m told.    The only change in my life is I’ve been using my student loan funds to survive.  I see no way domestic is going to change the support orders, but who really knows.

Somehow I survive all this bullshit and drama.  All the court dates, lawyer fees, new girlfriends, new people moving in.  Is a girlfriend with four kids going to SAVE Mr. Delauter money?  I don’t see why the hell she would want to move in with a man who is soooo broke the house is foreclosure, the car has been repossessed, the timeshare is in foreclosure, the line of credit is behind, second mortgage is behind, credit cards were never paid, he can’t pay his own child support or alimony to the woman he is STILL married to…..it goes on and on and on. 

Not that his lifestyle will reflect what a financial mess our current situation is.  I am already receiving state assistance, I have nothing left to lose but my child and this meeting has NOTHING to do with custody, nor do I really think he will get majority custody when Tesla starts school.

I imagine tomorrow will go something like this:

Mr. Delauter: I shouldn’t have to pay support because my business is not making enough money (not that he has looked for a job.)  Pattie claimed Tesla on her taxes last year and it wasn’t her turn.

Domestic:  Mr. Delauter, the filing of taxes makes no difference.  You are instructed by the court to pay your support obligations.

Mr. Delauter: But it wasn’t Pattie’s turn to claim Tesla!

Domestics: Again, that makes no difference.

Mr. Delauter: But now I owe money to the IRS and I am broke, even though I seem to afford eating out, my truck payments, clubbing with my new woman, moving her and her four kids in because I know, this one is it.  SHE is my soulmate…  I love her kids just as much as I love Tesla and I want to  have Tesla all the time because I am what’s best for her and it doesn’t matter what Tesla thinks.  Yes, Pattie is a good mom, but I am so self-centered and greedy that I want Tesla all the time and don’t want to pay child support or alimony, even though I haven’t divorced Pattie yet.  I am holding off on that divorce issue as long as possible so I can convince my new girlfriend how wonderful I am.  Once I know she is in my hooks, I will find a way to get her to help me buy Pattie and my house so I don’t have to sell it.  Pattie seems to have made up her mind.  She doesn’t want to agree to settlement payments.  She says it’s because she’s “not going to be taken advantage of by a big asshole like me”.  I would make the payments.  Really, I would.  Don’t pay any attention to my past record of refusing to pay and letting Pattie’s Mercedes be repoed while I went out and bought a new truck.  Yes, I knew I didn’t have the money to afford it, but what the fuck, I am “the man” and I will do as I please!

Domestic: Pay your support orders, Mr. Delauter.  Your hearing with the enforcement officer is April 1st.  You’ll be a fool to miss it.

HAHAHA!

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged:
Mar 13, 2011

ACT 91 NOTICE

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I knew this day was coming.  Didn’t matter how many times John told me not to worry about the house payments.  That’s hard to do since my name is on the mortgage and deed just as his is.  I see now, John wasn’t that worried about it at all. 

Now our house is in foreclosure.  There is 30 days to pay the last three months balance of $6496.59.  The second mortgage is behind also.  Between the two, probably $8400 is past due. 

Am a surprised?  Yes and no.  What surprises me the most is he has JUST moved his new girlfriend in with her FOUR children. Why move her in, especially if the house is in foreclosure? I wonder if this Heather even knows the house is in foreclosure…. 

Kelly just put $10,000 of her own money into my house last year.  Why make changes to a nice house with a new bedroom edition using your own money on a house that isn’t yours?  That’s just stupid!

So now Heather is appreciating all the changes of my house that Kelly just paid for.  Pretty soon, no one will be enjoying the house because the bank will be taking it back.  The ACT 91 NOTICE was very direct.  Pay now or say good bye.

If you can’t support the house you have, at least try to sell it while you can.  Our credit is already ruined.  I can only guess at this point that he plans to file bankruptcy.  It’s not like John and I talk.  He’s to stubborn to listen to anything I have to say. 

When we split up, our finances were at least still in order.  Yet it was always me at fault for everything that was going wrong.  Perhaps skipping on two new four wheelers for himself, two timeshares, an addition to an already large home and replacing the pool would have allowed the house to be saved now.  Listening to what your wife thinks isn’t a bad idea.  Sometimes John would listen, but he would do whatever he wanted anyway.

What “John The Man” wanted was the house, business, money, cars, vacations,  (just add any worldly good here) and it didn’t work out great for him.  Maybe this Act 91 Notice will wake him up and do the right thing….finish with the divorce! 

That is highly unlikely to happen.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: , ,
Mar 12, 2011

ONLY 5 minutes

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Only 5 minutes had passed last night since Tesla had called me to say goodnight. I was in the shower and called as soon as I could get dried off and dial the phone. John said she was already settled into bed and he couldn’t disturb her or some lame similar bullshit excuse.

Just about a month or so ago, HE called me at midnight wanting to talk to Tess. MIDNIGHT? How calls at midnight to talk to their child??

But I couldn’t call back at 9:05?!? WTF?! This is his way of controlling things. Just like filing for divorce was to “scare” me into doing what he wanted!!
I’m sorry I have to make Tess call him. It upsets me that she doesn’t want to talk to her dad. I’m sorry she doesn’t ask to call and talk to her Dad’s relatives. That would require him having relatives of his own, wanting to talk to him. I don’t really see his family rallying around him. They would rather ignore his calls. Who would blame them. Hell, I don’t even want to talk to John and avoid seeing him whenever possible. I don’t say this to Tesla ever. I encourage her to call her dad. Just her dad…not whichever woman is in his life (or moving into my house) this week. I don’t tell my daughter what I think of her dad. That’s what my blog allow me do.
How many women’s lives does this man get to fuck up?

~P.

Filed Under: Divorce, John · Tagged: , ,
Mar 6, 2011

that wasn’t very nice

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Finishing up with the usual bedtime routine, bath, teeth and that last drink before bed, I casually bring up calling Daddy to Tesla. 

“How about you call your Dad before we go downstairs?” I asked.

(I had asked earlier in the day, twice I think and she declined.  She doesn’t ask to call very often.  The more I push her to call the more she refuses.  Must be the bull in her.  She gets it honestly.)

“No thank you.” she responded, taking a drink from her cup.

“I think it hurts your Daddy’s feelings when you don’t call him, Tess.” I spoke gently, not wanting to start an argument with an almost 5-year-old over calling her dad.

“Daddy doesn’t have feelings.” she responded just as sweetly as I had just spoken.

I was speachless. 

~P.

Filed Under: John, Tesla · Tagged:
Mar 4, 2011

Out of the mouth of babes

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I picked up my daughter as usual today at 5pm.  She was outside playing with her daddy’s girlfriend’s 4 children.  I sent Zeth, my youngest son to go get Tesla.  While I’m waiting for Tesla and Zeth to come back up to the top of the driveway, a little girl about 5 comes up, so happy to see me. 

“Guess what? I’m moving here!”  She exclaimed cheerfully.

“You are?” I asked, taken back by her exclamation.

“Yes, this is going to be our house.” she added.

Not knowing what else to say to a 5 year old, who just informed me she was moving into my house, I said “That’s wonderful sweetie!”

Are you kidding me???  Another woman and her children are moving into my house?  This one has known my husband perhaps two weeks tops?! 

Doesn’t she realize this man is in the middle of a divorce?  Or that another family just moved out of the house in a rush, back in October?

Excuse me, but my name is on that house.  Why is every other woman in York County moving into my house? 

It’s not like I didn’t know this family of 5 has been spending an awful amount of time at my house.  Just not enough time that Tesla could even remember this womans name.

Divorce is ugly.  I feel the worst for my daughter, stuck with me in this three-ring circus.

Filed Under: Divorce, John, Tesla · Tagged:
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