That sinking feeling

Everyone knows what that sinking feeling in the stomach is like.  I have become too damn familiar with it unfortunately. 

I get that feeling when I have to:

Talk to John.

 participate in group discussion and know I haven’t read the text. 

See John.

poop and there is no toilet nearby.

Text John.

go to the dentist for a check up.

You get the picture…..

Today, I felt it again.  Right after a test in art class.  I had finished up my test and handed it in, that sinking feeling arrived.  Knocking around inside my belly, twisting up my guts.  I checked my notes and sure enough, I had confused two pieces of art.  That confirmed that one essay question was going to be entirely wrong.  I felt like it was going well during the test but the reality of it is…. I screwed that one question up royally.

Does screwing up one question cause complete failure on the test?  Hell no!  Am I going to get all hung up on this wrong answer?  Hell no!  Does this make me want to give up my art class?  Hell no!  Fight that sinking feeling!  I am a floater!!!  LMAO

I have a sinking feeling about this upcoming Monday at York County Courthouse.  Anytime someone has to go to the courthouse, it certainally causes a sinking feeling.  Being charged with contempt and accused of trying to wreck the business I helped established is a tough pill to swallow.  One gets tired of constantly defending herself, yet this marriage and divorce seems to force me into this position practically daily. 

Cross your fingers for me on Monday.  I’ll let you know how the gavel falls!

~P.

Update on my Art test…..I pulled a 92%  Guess I knew what I was talking about after all.  hahah

Horns and Spears Optional

Calling all experienced voices of York College faculty and staff!

You are needed for the 2011 Opera Choruses with the YCP Community Orchestra.

This is the first collaboration with the community orchestra and the 75 student members of The York College Chorale. The event will be held in CPAC on Sunday, May 8th at 3 PM and will begin with three well known opera choruses. These pieces require many people’s voices to create the proper balance necessary for operatic songs.

The chosen set of opera choruses should be familiar as they are often used by media during advertising. There are two scores by Verdi; Va Pensiero (Nabucco) and The Anvil Chorus (II Trovatore) and one by Mozart, The Voyager’s Chorus (Idomoneo) in the repertoire. The special rehearsals for faculty and staff on these three songs will be held in the evening on April 25, 27, and May 2. Scores are available upon request.

All faculty and staff interested in the opportunity to sing with the student chorale should contact Dr. Grace Muzzo at 717-815-6450 or by email gmuzzo@ycp.edu.

David Shields breaks form

"Write what you can't shut up about!"

York College of PA hosted David Shields as its 2011 Writer-in-Residence from March 23-26.  Shields gave a public reading from his 2008 memoir, The Thing about Life is that one Day You’ll be Dead.  His memoir in uniquely formated and challenges the reader to think about the facts of morality on a scientific level as well as a personal level.  Shields is often expectantly funny, poking fun at himself and at issues of death.  Other passages are dark and pointed, changing the mood towards the seriousness of death.

Through-out his reading and during the follow-up questions, Shields gave quotes and anecdotes.  While there were many, a few that he gave concerning writing were: “cut the fat” by “gold-mining your data dump” and “strip mine it for choice material.”  He also suggests using writing “as a way of out prison” and believes his completion of any written piece is a way to “retire it in his psyche.”

Shields’ writer workshop was held the last day of his visit.  Fourteen York College students, including myself, sat with a National Bestselling Author and had the opportunity to read our short stories to him.  After reading, positive points were discussed and constructive criticism offered by students, attending professors and Shields. 

Shields visit to York College of PA was a wonderful learning experience to all who took advantage of meeting this amazing author.  He broke from the traditional novel format causing quite a stir in the literacy world.  His views on creative non-fiction have cracked the traditional mold and opened the door that any format in writing will be taken seriously.

2011 Lambda Drag Show

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The lense for my camera on my cellphone is cracked.  Sorry….I have video’s being emailed to me.  Will post them soon!!  🙂

Beaver Hole Essay N:Clothing

N: Clothing-Oddly enough, people let their clothes behind.  “Look up,” I told my brother as we walked across the road to a barren area.  Sam started to laugh when he saw the variety of clothing hanging from the tree limbs.  “Someone forgot to take their clothes with them after a swim.” He said shaking his head.  Laughing at that thought I replied, “Or were caught screwing at the bridge and didn’t have time to put them back on!” 

Condoms are common at Beaver Hole and it’s not the beavers that use them.  There was a condom entangled in the limb of some roadside brush.  It blended in with the bleached out yellow leaves so well, I didn’t realize what it was initially.  The number of twists the yellowed condom made around the limb was curiously done intentionally.  A condom tossed after a hard, hot and public fuck could not possible fix itself onto a limb in that fashion.  I am certain it is a trophy to the man who left his DNA behind.  When he drives by in his rusted pick-up truck, he glances at his marker of that hot, sticky night.  Well, he may have looked upon it with sweet memories, but that is no longer.  I grabbed that limb with my gloved hand and broke it from the bush, thinking to myself, “I wonder what it would be like to have hard, hot sex at Beaver Hole?”

~P

Beaver Hole Essay K:Fresh Water

K: Fresh Water- Hours spent splashing in the water.    Not all the splashing is on purpose.  My sister Suz often humors me and tags along on a bridge trip.  The level of the water never seems to make a difference on whether Suz gets wet or not.  Suz is similar to a Weeble Wobble except, she does fall down. 

She is jealous of my graceful ability to leap from rock to rock. 😉  One day at the creek, giving her the benefit of doubt, I encouraged her to “just jump, for crying out loud!”  She appeared to be in slow motion as she teetered for a few seconds on the landing.  Her facial expression of satisfaction was washed away when the rock shifted and her feet flew out in front of her.  She leaped, slipped and dipped in less than ten seconds, which is quick, but I managed to snap a few pictures.

(boohoo, her shorts got wet!)

~P.

York College, PA slideshow

Random photos….Comment if you know someone!

~P.

Rednecks and water

Beaver Hole was flooded out!  I had to walk through a field to get pictures.  This not so bright driver, tried twice to build up the balls to drive through the flood zone.  I was going to keep snapping pictures until his Jeep shut down from the water rushing in.  Then the creek would have started to sweep him away….  He back ‘er down in the end.  LOL

~P.

Midterm blues

My professor returned our midterms today.  Sadly, I didn’t do very well.  I had a feeling it might not get a very good grade because I rushed to finish it.  I started it early so I could get the majority of it done but my prof didn’t return my email concerning the first draft until the night before it was due.  His pc was broke.  So at 9:30 PM with Tesla still awake because I was still awake, I tried to improve it.  Prof said my hurried changes made the essay worse.  Nice…I lowered my grade.

It is very difficult to do homework and study with a 5 year old.  Throw in living with 6 other people in one house and constant divorce drama , custody issues and not receiving any support….it makes everything more difficult.  No excuses though, I will take advantage of his rewrite policy.  He gives a week to rewrite and resubmit.  I will get my grade higher.  It wasn’t failing, but I expect more from myself.

Everything is a mess in my life it seems, but I keep plugging away.  Everyday.  🙂

~P.

What you learn

Gettysburg College held a writer’s summit on Feb. 19th.  I attended the “Speak Up, Write Out” conference with three other students on staff at York College’s Spartan Newspaper and found it to be an enjoyable, learning experience.  The professional guest speakers were happy to share helpful tips on attaining success in the journalism field.

It’s who you know.  The professionals on the panel all stressed how important having contacts has been in their careers. The consensus was attending conferences, meeting guest speakers and remaining in touch with college professors is what made a difference in their own success.

Shoot for the moon.  No matter your career goal, don’t be afraid to take chances.  Send out your resume, submit your work or even apply in person.  The worst thing that can happen, you don’t get the job or receive a “thanks, but no” letter.  One panelist suggested “wallpapering your bedroom with rejection letters” as a way to make some use of them as there will be many.  Don’t feel rejected by these letters.

Internships are important.  Members on the panel all at one time were interns.  They usually weren’t paid, but what they did earn was the knowledge in a work setting in their field.  Learning the ropes as an intern is just another important step towards a career goal.  While interning, make as many contacts as possible.

Learn a second language.  Several different panels agreed Spanish would be the ideal second language, but any second language may be helpful to an employer deciding on who to hire.  Knowing the lingo of writers is also important.  I heard several times that writers are snarky or have snarky comments.  Since the conference I did some research.  Snarky is British slang for “irritible, testy and short.”

Work that cover letter.  Write a sincere, informative cover letter telling what you can do for a company and include personal interests.  Make an impression with your cover letter and resume to stand out and be competitive in their content.  Try to keep your resume to one page but include anything and everything that is relevant in your work history, education and personal interests that could help you get an internship or job.

Network online.  If you want to get your name out there, especially in a writing career, get on the internet.  There are endless websites to use for networking.  It sounded odd hearing the professional panelists pushing for Facebook, Twitter and other social network websites as useful tools in their career.

Enterprising stories.  My last panel session topic of the conference was “journalism in local news.”  Local newspapers in Hanover and Gettysburg do not have enough reporters to cover the news.  An “enterprise story” is an idea for a story a reporter comes up with on their own and runs with it.  Local newspapers often print this type of story. Mainly because the topic is specific, no one else would have written about it.